French Cuisine Can Kill You

by Rebecca Dunsmuir

  T iti was biting d'Artagnan's paws, jumping all around him like a flea to provoke him. The Great Dane wondered what this ridiculous tiny dog was trying to accomplish.

  "We're going to miss you Amanda," said Régine, "but it's good to know you won't be too far. Never hesitate to come by and say hi. We'll enjoy a good glass of Calva together."

  The woman winked and kissed Amanda on her cheeks four times. Paul walked to Amanda and opened his arms. "Let me give you a good Canadian hug." Paul crushed Amanda's tiny body to his chest. "I'm so proud of you and what you did yesterday at the Village Hall. Always disliked this mayor and his clique. Good riddance of all of them."

  "Wait, I prepared something for you." Régine handed a cake pan to Amanda, still warm. The sweet smell of chocolate activated Amanda's taste buds.

  D'Artagnan didn't ignore the scent either and went straight to the pan to have a good look. His eyes rounded up. Yes! We're having some chocolate cake today! The dog tried to grab an 'advance' piece.

  "Behave, d'Artagnan," said Amanda. “You know the rules about chocolate.”

  On the top of the cake, Régine had written Welcome to Orvilly, Little Canadian with butter cream. They all laughed when Amanda read the inscription.

  "Thank you so much, both of you. I'll drop by once in a while to say hi, I promise. Come on d'Art."

  Paul and Régine helped Amanda to walk outside where a taxi waited for her. The driver put her big suitcase in the trunk. D'Artagnan jumped in the back seat, and Amanda sat on the front passenger seat with Bronx in his carrier at her feet, and the chocolate cake on her lap. The taxi was full.

  The driver started the car. "Hey, your cat looks kind of... weird."

  Bronx was staring at the driver, doing one of his scary faces, smashing it against the transparent plastic door, licking it. Hit the road and drive fast, you idiot. Can't you see that I'm uncomfortable?

  "Oh, don't worry about him," said Amanda. "He often does that to intimidate people."

  "Oh?" answered the cab driver with a worried look.

  The car left and Amanda waved to Régine and Paul who stood on the sidewalk in front The Little Norman, waving back at her.

  When she stepped into the castle with d'Artagnan and Bronx, Amanda felt different. Different in a good way. She wasn’t scared to be there on her own. Well, not exactly on her own, of course. For the first time since she had first entered the castle, she felt at home.

  She removed d'Artagnan's leash and put the pet carrier on the floor to free Bronx. The cat left the box quickly, then slowed his pace to look around and inspect the premises.

  "Although I have a map of the castle, don't get lost, guys. It might take me a few hours or even a day before I find you."

  Sounds like a good plan to me, thought Bronx. Finally, I'm going to have some space.

  "And I wouldn't want you to starve to death," added Amanda.

  D'Artagnan gave a worried look at his friend.

  Yikes! I'll be following you closely then.

  Amanda smiled and patted the Great Dane’s head. "I was only joking, d'Art."

  You never know... thought the dog.

  The dog followed Amanda to the kitchen. She put her precious cookbook on the table and looked around her.

  "Hey, uh... I'm Amanda, the new owner of the castle."

  D'Artagnan wondered who Amanda was talking to.

  "Well, I'm not really used to ghosts, but uh... I hope that you and I will get on well, Jeannette." Amanda waited for any sign that would confirm the presence of Jeannette in the room, but nothing happened. "You know, just like you, I love to cook. At least, we have this in common. Right?"

  Silence in the room again.

  "Well, I hope that you're OK with us sharing this kitchen?"

  Amanda startled when she heard several car horns. She recognized the sound of Liliane’s Deux Chevaux. D'Artagnan barked. They both ran to the front entrance.

  Amanda opened the heavy front door and noticed for the first time the beautiful curls and leaves carved into the old wood. Liliane was parked in front of the door.

  "Ready for your makeover, Dame d'Orvilly?"

  Amanda chuckled. "Not really," answered Amanda, "but let's go for it." Amanda turned to d'Artagnan. "D'Art, you have to look after the castle for a few hours, please. I'll be back soon. And tonight, there will be a surprise for you. A surprise that involves food."

  Food? You said the magic word. OK, off you go! I will guard the fortress.

  Amanda closed the door, leaving d’Artagnan in the hall. The dog heard a weird sound, and turned around. Bronx was facing him with a threatening look, standing like a tiger protecting his territory, screeching.

  Why is this crazy cat looking at me with the smile of a psycho? Wait, nooo!

  Bronx jumped on d'Artagnan's back and they started to fight.

  The pets were too loud to be able to hear the sound that came from the kitchen. Near a cupboard, of which the top doors were open, an old metal tea box had fallen on the floor. A thin white powder had spread on the brown tiles, forming the letters JG.

  Chapter 52

  P ierre was speechless when he opened the door. Amanda was worried. Should she have ignored Liliane's advice? Did she look like a clown? She felt so uncomfortable in the dress. When was the last time she had worn a dress? In high school maybe, for a party? She wasn't even sure. She always hated wearing dresses. She felt like—

  "You look stunning!" exclaimed Pierre.

  Amanda looked at him, surprised.

  "I do?"

  "Yes!"

  "You're not making fun of me, right?"

  "I wouldn't dare. This dress looks lovely on you."

  Amanda smiled. She wore a simple white cotton dress with little green and red embroidered flowers. A light green shawl draped elegantly on her shoulders, and she had cute red flat shoes. After a few trials in the shoe store, Liliane had quickly concluded that Amanda wasn't ready yet for high heels. More training was required.

  Pierre took Amanda's hand and invited her to walk up the stairs that lead to his apartment, above the bakery. She kept pushing back her hair, that a hairdresser had curled. Several curls hung over her left eye, annoying her. Amanda wasn't used to having her hair free, and even less used to having curls dancing all around her head.

  "Your hair looks great too," said Pierre.

  Amanda looked down and smiled. At least, the curls hid her blushing cheeks.

  Then they heard a bark and a screech.

  "Oh my God! I forgot them outside!"

  Amanda went back down the stairs quickly and opened the door. D'Artagnan was standing on the sidewalk, looking offended, and Bronx was meowing loudly. The carrier box had fallen over on its side.

  "Oh my God! I'm really sorry, guys."

  Grey clouds suddenly appeared in the sky and rain started to fall on Orvilly-sur-Mer. Amanda ran inside quickly with d'Artagnan, and Pierre took the cat carrier.

  "You told me that I could bring them with me. Is it still okay?” she asked Pierre. “It's just that I don't want them to spend their first evening alone in the castle."

  "No problem, Amanda, I understand," answered Pierre.

  The pets were released in the apartment. They started to explore the place.

  I'm really getting tired of these moves, complained Bronx, are we going to settle down somewhere steady or what?

  Then the cat smelled something sweet that reminded him of... Yes! Those choux buns that he had once eaten in the arms of a lady in the bakery.

  Bronx ran to a basket full of chouquettes left on a side table. He started to gobble the little pastries covered with sugar. Amanda ran after him.

  "Bronx! How many times have I told you not to eat other people's food, it's rude. I'm so sorry Pierre, I feel so embarrassed."

  "No worries," said Pierre. "In fact, I prepared these chouquettes for him. I know he loves them."

  There you go! I like this guy. Bronx escaped with a little choux bun in his mouth and hid under the sofa. />
  "Please, have a seat Amanda."

  Amanda sat at a round table that Pierre had prepared with great care. It was covered with a spotless ironed white tablecloth, lit by two candles, and a little vase with fresh pink roses was placed in the middle. It looked perfectly romantic.

  D'Artagnan walked around the table, unsure where to sit. But he knew one thing: he had to stay close to this table. This apartment smelled of food in a way that promised good meals coming, and he was certainly not going to miss out.

  "Pierre, this table looks amazing. Thank you."

  "Madam, you deserve to be treated like a queen. I heard what happened at the Village Hall yesterday. Sorry, I couldn't be there. I have to say that I'm impressed. This is a crazy story. So, the mayor, Barbon and the architect really killed Martin Plouque?"

  "Yes, they did. But enough about them. I can smell something delectable. May I ask what you've prepared for us tonight?"

  The storm rumbled above their heads and the walls trembled. The rain thundered on the roof louder. They both raised their eyes to the ceiling at the same time.

  "We'll start with a leek and potato soup to warm us up. Then we'll follow with spaghetti and pesto served with breaded chicken. If your stomach still has room, I'll bring out a cheese plate. As for dessert... let's keep it a surprise for now."

  "My turn to be impressed, Pierre. I can't wait to try your food. I'm sure it will be delicious."

  Pierre smiled proudly and walked over to the kitchen. He came back with a tray, carrying two hot bowls filled with the creamy soup and a small basket with pieces of a warm bread he had just baked. He put the bowls on the plates delicately and presented the bread basket to Amanda. "Be careful, the soup is very hot."

  Amanda chose a slice. The bread was still warm and smelled divine.

  "Oh, by the way, I have a little something for you," said Pierre.

  Amanda was intrigued. Pierre took a wrapped gift from a chair nearby and handed it to her.

  "A gift? I don't know what to say, Pierre. And I arrived empty handed... I'm so rude. I feel embarrassed."

  "Don't be. Just open it."

  Pierre smiled, anxious to see Amanda's reaction. She tore at the blue paper that wrapped the rectangular gift. Was it a book?

  "What's this?"

  "Why do people always ask that when they open a gift?" said Pierre. "Open it and you'll see."

  Amanda laughed when she saw an old video tape of The Three Musketeers.

  "You remembered that I love this movie?"

  "Yes. And this is a tape of the 1953 version, the one you prefer, right?" Amanda nodded. "We'll watch it later, if you want?"

  "I'd love that, Pierre. But there's one little problem though... Do you have a VCR?"

  Pierre laughed.

  "Of course not. We'll watch it on TV, from a website." Pierre winked at her.

  Amanda felt very lucky. She was melting inside, falling for this incredibly handsome French baker, so refined and so thoughtful and yet so... virile.

  She reviewed her journey from the moment she opened the letter in Victoria, about a month before, announcing the inheritance, until this delightful and romantic moment, sitting with Pierre.

  Sure, the weather in Normandy wasn’t the most appealing, but Orvilly-sur-Mer was a quaint and lovely village. She had already made new friends, and she was the owner of a castle. A castle! How amazing was that? Soon, she would open her hotel and her fancy restaurant. She was living the French dream. Her French dream.

  "May I?" asked Pierre.

  Pierre took Amanda's hand which was resting on the table, and kissed it delicately. Amanda smiled and blushed. Her heart was flying high in the sky of Normandy, and she couldn't care less that it was a stormy one.

  Hey, wait a minute, what's going on here? D'Artagnan was sitting beside the table, witnessing the scene with indignation.

  Hey, you two, I'm still here! And by the way, I'm starving. I want food too! Fooood! Hello?

  Traditional French Recipes

  Cooked by Amanda

  Boeuf Bourguignon

  Ingredients for 6 servings

  For the beef

  6 oz. (180g) of diced bacon

  1 tablespoon of olive oil

  3 lb. (1.4kg) of stewing beef cut into 2-inch cubes

  1 sliced carrot

  1 chopped onion

  1 tablespoon of flour

  3 cups of red wine

  3 cups of beef stock

  1 tablespoon of tomato paste

  2 cloves of garlic, minced

  1/2 teaspoon fresh thyme

  1 or 2 bay leaves

  Chopped parsley for garnish

  Salt and pepper

  For the braised onions

  20 small white onions, peeled

  1 1/2 tablespoons of butter

  1 1/2 tablespoons of olive oil

  1/2 cup of beef broth

  Salt and pepper

  For the sautéed mushrooms

  1/2 lb. (225g) of fresh mushrooms, quartered

  2 tablespoons of butter

  1 tablespoon of olive oil

  Instructions

  Preheat the oven to 450°F (230°C).

  Heat the olive oil in a large dutch oven (or an oven-safe pan). Cook the bacon for a few minutes until it is lightly browned. Remove the bacon from the pan with a slotted spoon and set aside. Don't remove the fat from the pan.

  Dry the beef using paper towels. Reheat the bacon and sauté the beef cubes for a few minutes until the pieces are browned. Remove again with a slotted spoon and set aside.

  In the same pan, add the carrot and the onion and brown them for few minutes. Pour out the fat, leaving the vegetables in the pan.

  Add the beef and the bacon and toss them with salt and pepper. Sprinkle the flour over and toss again.

  Place the pan (uncovered) into the preheated oven for 4 minutes. Toss the meat and return to the oven for 4 more minutes. Remove from the oven and reduce the temperature to 325°F (160°C).

  Add the wine, stock, tomato paste, garlic and thyme. Bring to a simmer on top of the stove. Cover the pan and return it to the oven. Cook for 3-4 hours, until the meat is fork tender. Meanwhile, prepare the onions and mushrooms.

  The braised onions: Heat the butter and the oil in a skillet until it is bubbly. Add the small white onions and cook over medium heat for 10 minutes, stirring them around from time to time so they brown evenly. Pour in the beef stock and season with salt and pepper. Bring to a simmer and lower the heat. Cover and simmer for 40-50 minutes. The liquid should evaporate and the onions should brown. Set aside.

  The sautéed mushrooms: Heat the butter and oil in a skillet over high heat. Add the mushrooms and cook for about 10 minutes and stir until golden brown. Season with salt and pepper.

  Once the meat is cooked, pour all the mixture through a sieve. Collect the sauce in a saucepan or a glass bowl and set aside for a few minutes.

  Return the beef to the pan. Arrange the onions and mushrooms over the meat.

  Skim fat off the sauce. The sauce should be thick enough to coat a spoon lightly. Pour the sauce over the beef, onions, and mushrooms.

  You can serve your Beef Bourguignon with boiled potatoes or other vegetables. Enjoy!

  Gratin Dauphinois

  Ingredients for 6 servings

  1.65 lbs. (750g) of potatoes

  2 cups (1/2 liter) of warm milk

  1 egg

  4.4 oz. (125g) grated Gruyère

  3 tablespoons of butter

  A big clove of garlic

  1/2 teaspoon grated nutmeg

  Salt, pepper

  Instructions

  Pre-heat the oven to 400°F

  Peel the potatoes and slice them into 1/8 in. thick pieces, sprinkle with salt, pepper and grated nutmeg.

  In a bowl, mix the warm milk and egg, and add salt.

  Butter a pan and rub it with the garlic clove.

  Place the slices of potatoes in the pan, forming layers, and add some grated Gruyère in between
each layer. Keep some cheese for the last layer on top.

  Spread the mixture of milk and egg over the layered potatoes.

  Finish by sprinkling the rest of the grated Gruyère and the butter on top.

  Bake for 40-50 minutes, until the potatoes can be easily pierced with a fork, and the top is brown. Enjoy!

  Tarte aux Pommes Normande

  Ingredients for 6 servings

  For the shortcrust pastry

  1 egg

  7 oz. (200g) of flour

  3.5 oz. (100g) of caster sugar

  3.5 oz. (100g) of butter

  1 pinch of salt

  For the garnish

  2.2 lb. (1kg) of red apples

  2 eggs

  3.5 oz. (100g) of caster sugar

  1.75 oz. (50g) of almond powder

  7 oz. (200 ml) of sour cream

  1/2 liquor glass of Calvados

  2 tablespoons of chopped almonds

  Instructions

  Make the pastry: beat the egg in a bowl, add the salt and sugar and mix with a wooden spatula. Add the flour and keep stirring until you get the consistency of a shortcrust pastry. Add the butter in small pieces and knead the preparation. The pastry must not stick to your hands. If it does, add a bit of flour.

  Flatten the pastry with a rolling pin and put it in a buttered and floured pie dish.

  Preheat the oven at 400°F. Peel the apples and remove the cores. Cut them in thin slices. Place the slices on the pastry by overlapping them a bit. Set aside.

  In a bowl, beat the eggs, add the sugar, the almond powder, the sour cream, and the Calvados. Spread the mixture on the apples, and add some chopped almonds on top.

  Bake for 25 minutes.

  You can eat the pie warm or cold. You can also blaze it up with Calvados. Enjoy!

  Feuilletés de Camembert

  Ingredients for 1 Camembert puff

  1 Camembert

  7 oz. (200g) flaky pastry

  7 oz. (200g) smoked bacon, diced

  1 large onion