When To Fear The Living

by B. L. Brunnemer

  Ethan: She's exhausted, I think she'll sleep unless I move.

  I looked up at the guys. Zeke's haunted eyes ran over her then he went back to his phone.

  Zeke: Fine.

  Miles: Lexie asked for intervention with Dylan tonight and we all know how much she hates to ask for help.

  Asher: Yeah, we know.

  Miles: I propose we stop waiting for her to ask.

  I looked up from my phone to Miles. I met his eyes, he was struggling with this situation just as much as I was. Hell, he threatened to kill Dylan. I wish I had that on video just so I could remind myself it actually happened. My phone vibrated.

  Zeke: She's down, but she's not out. Though I do like this idea.

  Isaac: She'll get back to her old-self eventually, right?

  Zeke: It's going to take therapy.

  I went still. What did Zeke know that we didn't?

  Miles: Zeke, I was going to ask later but now is as good of time as any. What did she tell you?

  Zeke: Get her a shrink.

  Zeke wasn't going to talk. Miles sighed.

  Miles: I need to know what kind.

  Zeke: Just get one who specializes in a range of trauma. If they can't help, they'll recommend another one that can.

  I looked up from my phone to him. His face was hard. I looked at Isaac and met his eyes. We both were thinking the same thing. We weren't here when the test results came back. Isaac's eyes darkened before he began texting.

  Isaac: The kit came back clean. Right?

  Asher: Yes, I swear it came back clean.

  Miles: We need to be aware of potential triggers.

  And the fact that not knowing might slowly kill each of us. Zeke was silent as he stared at his phone. Then he began typing.

  Zeke: You want to know? Ask her. It happened to her, it's her decision who she tells.

  That was enough to give all of us an idea. The bastard must have done something. I ran my eyes over her sleeping face. We needed to make damn sure nothing like this ever happened again, not to our Lexie.

  Isaac: So, no longer waiting for Lexie to ask for help? I second it.

  Zeke: Third.

  Miles: Motion carries.

  Asher: Only until she's on her feet again. When she's okay, we back off. Agreed?

  Miles: Agreed.

  Isaac: Duh.

  Ethan: Yeah.

  Zeke: Fine.

  Miles: In the interest of disclosure, I should let you know that I had my lawyer draw up papers for a restraining order against Dylan. He'll be here in the morning for Rory to sign.

  Asher: Rory know about this?

  Miles: Yes, I texted him after Dylan left. He agreed immediately.

  Ethan: What about Lexie?

  Miles: She's a minor, she doesn't have to sign.

  Zeke: Should have just let me hit him.

  I smirked at that. Lexie made a small noise. Her face was wincing, but she wasn't shifting around in pain. A bad dream? Her fingers dug into my shirt. I put my phone down and held her hand to my chest, letting her know that I was still there. I quietly sang Sophie's lullaby to her in Spanish until her face relaxed and she fell deeper into sleep. When I was sure she was okay, I looked up. Everyone's gaze was on her, everyone's face drawn, their eyes worried. It was clear we were all thinking the same thing, the next few months are going to be hell.

  Epilogue

  I came home from the hospital the next day. The guys kept me company for the rest of the week. They made ice packs, kept me on schedule for my pain meds, and made sure I ate. Rory even took the rest of the week off. It made me feel a lot better with them around. Safer.

  Riley came over after school the day I got home, the guys backed off a bit to give us girl time. She has called or visited every day since. We talked about almost everything. Riley made a point to let me know that just because she wasn't dating Zeke, that didn't mean she'd disappear on me.

  Dr. Melville said my skull fracture was a simple linear one, which meant it would heal in time. But my throat was another story. The MRI showed damage to my vocal cords and the surrounding tissue. To sum up, Ethan's band needs to find a new guest singer. Dr. Melville said I should get my singing voice back, but it'll take time and therapy. I didn't even know there was such a thing as voice therapy.

  Clay is in jail, the judge refused to allow him bail after a search of his house was done. Two tickets to Morocco were found along with his passport and mine. I still have no idea how he even got a passport for me.

  My nightmares started three days after I stopped taking pain medication, I'd wake up screaming and lose my voice for the day. After two days of this, Rory let one of the guys crash on my floor at night with a strict rule that the boys stayed on the floor and the door remained open, it helped. Even Riley filled in when one of the guys couldn't.

  Miles found me a therapist to talk to a week after the cabin, and I'm going. I've been talking to her, and it helps. She says it's going to take time and that I should tell the other guys what Clay did. When I was ready, of course. I almost did a month later. We were sitting in Miles’ family room, Isaac had walked into the room and was standing behind the couch. Then he touched my shoulder to get my attention. I remember panic, throwing a punch, and Isaac holding a bloody nose. I instantly started crying. Isaac reassured me that he had worse from Ethan, but it didn't help. I explained that they couldn't come up behind me and touch me, not if I didn't know who they were. The room was silent as everyone struggled with it. They all said they understood and that it wouldn't happen again, and since that night, it hasn't.

  Even the dead were understanding about me not helping them cross for a couple weeks. In fact, several ghosts stood guard outside the house to stop any other soul from bothering me. It had surprised the hell out of me.

  Zeke hasn't mentioned the kiss or talked about it. I brought it up once, but he only shook his head and said, "It can wait." I don't know if that is good or bad, but right now, he's right. It can wait until I can walk to my front door and not remember getting grabbed. It can wait until I don't freak out when someone touches my shoulder from behind me. It can wait until I don't break down crying after a nightmare and need to take a shower because I could still feel Clay's hands on me. It can wait. He wasn't going anywhere, and neither was I.

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  Book Four

  April

  “Lexie.”

  “Hmm.”

  “Can you stop looking out the window and focus for me?” Dr. Smith asked. I let the sheer curtain drop and turned around on the plush couch in her office. Dr. Smith was a nice woman with kind gray eyes and endless amounts of patience. At least it seemed that way to me. She’d been my shrink since January. After the abduction and assault, everyone thought I should have someone who could help me through it. Miles found Dr. Smith, an expert in dealing with the aftereffects of trauma. Trauma, I had suffered trauma. I snorted to myself and focused as she spoke.

  “How are the nightmares?” She asked. I sighed.

  “They are happening less, three times this week,” My voice was raspy. I took a sip out of my now, ever present, water bottle so it would go away.

  “And did you shower after them?” She asked gently, I sighed. My nightmare was always the same, Clay was forcing me to walk through the snow back to the cabin. Then he’d call me ‘his’ and grope my chest then between my legs. It wasn’t as bad as it could have been, but that didn’t stop me from feeling like I needed a shower after every dream.

  “I showered after only one of them.” The raspy note from my voice was gone.

/>   Dr. Smith’s eyes ran over my face.

  “How did you stop yourself from showering after the other time?” She asked. I reached down and ran my fingers through Hades’ fur. The dog had a big growth spurt and was now at my mid-thigh. I took him everywhere with me now.

  “I reminded myself that it happened in January, this is April. I petted Hades and did those counting exercises,” I said. Dr. Smith smiled gently.

  “That’s good, Lexie.” Her voice was encouraging. I gave her a small smile. “Any panic attacks?”

  I shook my head. “Not since that last one at Vegabond.” The bar had been packed, everyone kept bumping me. Not on purpose, the place had just been that crowded. I didn’t like it, the next thing I knew I was having trouble breathing. Miles had realized what was happening, the boys worked together to get me out the side door and out into the fresh air. I made a point not to go into too crowded places now.

  “Have you had any flashbacks?” Dr. Smith asked.

  “Nope, not since I told the guys not to touch me from behind,” I replied. “But I still have flashes occasionally.” Dr. Smith’s eyes narrowed at me.

  “Are they still walking you to class?”

  “Every one,” I admitted.

  She smiled and shook her head at the same time. “Have you gone anywhere alone this week?”

  I chuckled. “Miles is in the waiting room.” Dr. Smith sighed deeply and shook her head. She’d met the guys at our first appointment. Zeke had insisted that one of them be here, they just forgot to choose who and all showed up.

  “Lexie, you need to learn you can be without them. That you’re safe even if they aren’t there,” She said gently. I nodded.

  “I know, and I think I’m ready to,” I told her. “With Hades, though and no big crowds.”

  Dr. Smith smiled. “That’s a good start.”

  “I’m also thinking about going to see about a job at the tattoo shop in town. See if I can learn anything,” I offered. Dr. Smith smiled encouragingly.

  “That is a significant step, Lexie,” She said. Then her smile faded. “How are things with the boys?” I looked over the book cases behind her.

  “They’re supportive, loving, you know, the usual,” I hedged.

  “Lexie,” She said in her ‘come clean’ voice. I sighed and met her eyes.

  “Zeke and I are still having problems. I still haven’t been able to hug him since the hospital,” I admitted. She wrote that down. “I tried and...”

  “A flashback, his physical build reminded you of your attacker.” Dr. Smith finished for me. I nodded. “Is this affecting your relationship?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. He’s distant but he’s always around.”

  “He’s also struggling, Lexie,” Dr. Smith explained. “From what you’ve told me, he’s a protective person, and you were attacked. That’s going to take some time to deal with.”

  “I know.” I checked the clock on the wall. “Times up.”

  Dr. Smith chuckled. “That’s my line,” She chided. I snorted. “Your homework this week is to go out without the boys, go to the tattoo shop and try to hug Zeke again. Remember your exercises.” I nodded and got up off the couch with Hades’ leash in hand. “Thanks, Doc,” I called over my shoulder as I opened the door. Miles looked up from the magazine in his hands. His high cheek bones and angled jaw made him cute, but it was his smile that showed you how handsome he was. That and his intelligence in his emerald eyes whenever he got excited about something. His brown wavy hair was back to curling a little again, he needed a trim. He pushed the bridge of his black-rimmed glasses back up his nose before getting to his feet. His eyes ran over me, his mouth a tight line.

  “Is everything alright?” He asked in his quiet timber. I nodded.

  “I just have some homework,” I explained as we headed for the door. Miles opened the door for me and followed me out into the hallway.

  “What kind?”

  “The kind none of you are going to like,” I admitted. Miles hit the button for the elevator then gave me a gentle smile.

  “If it’s what’s best for you, we’ll do it,” He reassured me. I raised an eyebrow as the elevator doors opened, we walked inside.

  I waited for them to close before I told him. “She wants me to go out without you guys.”

  Miles’ silence was enough to make my shoulders tense.

  “If it’s what the Doctor suggested and what you want, we’ll step back,” Miles said in a calm reasonable voice. He was right, I just didn’t want to be the one to tell Zeke. It felt like I’ve done nothing but hurt Zeke since I came back from the hospital. Since my last try to hug him, he’s walked on egg shells around me, and that conversation about our kiss? Forget about it. He just kept saying ‘when I was ready.’ I hated this. We reached the ground floor.

  “I know, it’s Zeke I’m worried about,” I muttered as we walked out into the lobby. Several people spotted Hades and backed away quickly. I had gotten used to that reaction lately, and I honestly didn’t mind. “Our communication hasn’t exactly been the best lately.”

  Miles walked me to his car in silence. I opened the back door so Hades could jump in. When I turned around Miles’ eyes were full of understanding.

  “He’ll listen to you, Lexie,” He reminded me. I sighed, he was right. I was the only one who could get Zeke to listen. I got into Miles’ car and closed the door behind me. When Miles climbed in on the driver’s side, he had a small smile on his face. “But right now, the guys are surrounded by the twins’ cousins. They’ve been sending me an S.O.S every five minutes for the last hour.”

  I chuckled. “Let’s get over there and watch the chaos.”

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  December

  Trinity

  I made sure to blend in with the crowd of gawkers watching the police work in the alley. It was late, and with winter in Chicago, not much could get me outside at night. But news of this latest crime scene had sent me running out of my loft. Something about it didn’t sit right with me. The paramedics started bringing the gurney out, it had a black body bag. I cursed under my breath. I knew there was no point to hope, if they had someone injured they would have moved faster. I waited as they made their way over the snow. Thankfully, I had managed to slide close enough to the yellow caution tape to be near the ambulance as they walked by. I took a deep breath. Sulfur. I cursed under my breath again. It was a demon kill. I couldn’t ignore this, I had to get to work. I started moving back through the crowd when the skin on the back of my neck grew goosebumps. Someone was watching me. I kept walking away from the crowd and down the street. Footsteps crunched in the stone behind me. Probably a mugger. Deciding to have a little fun, I crossed the street and took the long way back to my bike. If someone was following, then they’d have plenty of time to act. The footsteps followed. I kept my pace even, going so far as to pull my leather riding jacket closed. The footsteps still followed. I smirked as I walked into a dark alley and slowed my pace. My pulse picked up as the footsteps came into the alley. When we were far enough in to be hidden from view I turned around and went still. It wasn’t a mugger. His dark gray suit and white dress shirt showed off his broad shoulders, and chest. His white blonde straight hair was shoulder length with the front held back off his face. His piercing gold eyes contrasted with slightly tanned skin. Something about him sent my heart pounding, my skin tingling. I’d never had a reaction like this to a man in my entire life. It put me on edge. I didn’t know who he was, but even from almost ten feet away I could tell that he wasn’t human.

  “What are you?” I asked. His lips moved into a polite smile.

  “I’m the same as you.” He said, his voice an odd mix of authority and polite I’d never heard before.

  “Annoyed? PMS-ing?” I asked dryly. His eyebrow twitched.

  “Gargoyle.”
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