I wasn’t quite so sure, although I did have to admit that Therissa had a way about her which seemed to encourage people to share confidences. In the meantime, what could it hurt? Her disguise was flawless, as was her command of the Keshiaari tongue; I supposed all her travels had stood her in good stead there, and Ambassador Sel-Trelazar had no doubt given her a few private lessons.
Smiling despite myself at that notion, I replied, “Yes, I think that would be a very good idea. For too many months, I have had to muddle along with no way of knowing more about my husband, or why he acts the way he does. Even if I am not sure now how I may use such information, it is better that I have it, so at least in the future I might be able to use it to assist me.”
She nodded, and then clapped her hands, calling in the other maids to prepare me for my day. I knew it was her way of making sure that no one would think we had spent too much time closeted together, and so I suffered the intrusion of Lila and Alina and Marsali with no further comment. In truth, it felt strange for them to spend so much time preparing me for an audience I would never have; yes, I would be in company at dinner, but they would change my garments for that public appearance, and so what I wore now was in reality of very little importance. But I supposed we all had to do what we could to justify our existence, even if such actions felt very silly in the end.
“Miram” disappeared sometime during this procedure, but I did not worry at her defection. Rather, I was glad, for I thought she had gone to pursue her “information-gathering,” as she had referred to it, and I wanted to hear what she would have to say when she returned. In the meantime, I had to do my best to set my expression in placid lines, attending to the neglected writing on my desk as if it were the only thing to concern me, and doing everything I could to not dwell on the pressure of Besh’s lips on mine, or the heat of his body as it had pressed against me. I thought then that perhaps I had done myself a disservice, to force such intimacy between my husband and me, for now I found I could not stop thinking of it.
Even in my despair, I could not help wondering whether that kiss filled his thoughts as well….
If my maids noticed anything amiss, I could not tell from either their expressions or their actions. Even if they did, it was not their place to draw attention to my moods, and so I labored away at my writing, even as they endeavored to take measurements of the draperies currently in place so that the new ones would fit correctly. I had to turn a deaf ear to what they were doing, or surely it would have distracted me from the few lines I was able to scratch out in my manuscripts.
At last, though, Therissa returned, dignified and proper as always in her guise of Miram, but something in the look she shot me as she entered my chambers told me that her “fact-finding” mission had not been unfruitful. Our gazes met, and then shifted to the three maids as they busied themselves with cutting panels of the claret-colored silk to make the new set of curtains. Since they were so well-occupied, I did not know how Therissa would manage to get them away so we might speak properly…but I soon realized that I had underestimated her.
“That is all very well and good,” she said, surveying them at their work. “But you will have cut all these panels and made no provision to stitch them together. Do you have any thread that matches this fabric?”
The three of them exchanged panicked looks, telling me that indeed they had not considered such a thing.
“As I thought,” Therissa went on. “Cut a discreet swatch, and then take it with you to the storerooms.”
“All — all of us?” ventured Marsali, the most forthright of the three.
“Yes, all of you,” Therissa returned at once. “For it is very important that the color match exactly, and I cannot trust only one of you to make the correct choice. With all three of you involved, I have a better hope that you might be able to pick something that is close.”
If they had wished to argue further, one look at Therissa’s face seemed to tell them that such protests would be useless. Marsali bent her head, murmuring, “Of course,” even as Alina took up her scissors and cut the most discreet of swatches from one edge of a scrap of fabric. Then they pressed their hands together and bowed at the waist toward me, just before scampering to the door so they might travel to the storerooms and match the fabric as best they could.
Yes, the most mundane of tasks, but one that allowed them some freedom to move about the palace. I found I could not judge their eagerness too much, for I thought I would feel much the same way if given a similar opportunity. Indeed, I could not help experiencing the slightest pang of jealousy at the way they were able to slip so easily out of the suite and go about their business. I knew I would be stopped the second I attempted to set foot outside my quarters. Sad, that my maids had freer rein to move about the palace than I, the woman who was supposed to be its mistress.
“Well?” I said, after I had ascertained that they were truly gone. “I suppose it is too much to ask that you might have gleaned something of any importance in so short a time, but I cannot help hoping you might have found a few tidbits to whet my appetite.”
“More than that,” she said, dark eyes gleaming. “I had already begun to cultivate something of a friendship with the under-cook, who — for reasons I cannot quite understand — has developed feelings of some sort for Miram. Perhaps he merely wishes to take her away from all this.”
“A noble ambition,” I noted in dry tones. “So what did this under-cook have to say?”
“A good deal. He has worked here in the palace since he was a boy, and is some ten years older than the Hierarch. One thing you may not know, even if you do know that your husband has a brother, is that they are twins.”
“Twins?” I echoed. Truly, this was surprising news. In our brief discussion on the topic, Besh had never let on to me that the brother who had betrayed him so heinously was also his twin.
“Yes,” said Therissa. “Your husband was the elder by some fifteen minutes, and so of course he was the heir. But their mother was so overtaxed by the ordeal of delivering twins that she died only a few days after her sons were born, and the Hierarch — your husband’s father — never sought to replace her.”
Such devotion was commendable, I supposed, but I couldn’t help thinking that it was rather hard luck for me to marry into a family so fixed on its former spouses. “He must have loved her very much,” I said, my tone as neutral as I could make it.
To my surprise, Therissa looked almost embarrassed. She fidgeted with her sleeve, her gaze not meeting mine. “As to that,” she replied, “it seems — that is, the late Hierarch was one who preferred the company of men to that of women.”
This information took me rather aback, for I had never before heard of such a thing. If any of the men in Sirlende had such proclivities, they did a good job of hiding it. Or at least, hiding it around the royal family. “Indeed?” I inquired, hoping that I sounded calm and not at all shocked. A sudden notion came to me, and though I did not truly believe it, not after the way Besh had kissed me, I added, “Then perhaps that explains some of my husband’s indifference to me. If he is at all like his father — ”
“Oh, I assure you, he is not. For everyone knows how passionately devoted he was to Hezia, although she did not deserve such affection. And, Lyarris, as I have told you before, I have seen how he looks at you when he thinks no one is watching. If his…desires…lay elsewhere, he would not regard you in such a manner.”
This relieved me somewhat, although once again I felt a stir of impotent fury at hearing of how much Besh had loved Hezia. What had it been about her, to inspire such devotion? Could a man ever truly recover from having his heart broken in such a way?
I knew, somewhere deep within my soul in a place I did not want to acknowledge, that I would take even a fraction of what Besh had felt for Hezia. Better to have some part of him than none at all. But he did not seem willing to give me even that much.
“And did this under-cook have much to say of the exalted Hezia?” I asked,
not attempting to keep the bitterness from my tone. “For truly she must have been a veritable paragon.”
The sad expression on Therissa’s borrowed features told me that she heard my pain all too clearly. “She was very beautiful, true. She was the daughter of one Prince Sel-Meladir, a cousin to the former Hierarch. They had been promised since children, and His Most High Majesty loved her even before he married her. But his is not the sort of temperament given to constant flattery and fawning — ”
“That much is certain,” I injected, chuckling a little despite myself. Truly, if Hezia had expected a husband who worshipped at her feet and praised every little thing she did, then no wonder she had found some disappointment in her marriage and ended up transferring her attentions to her brother-in-law.
Therissa attempted to appear disapproving, but instead smiled slightly before continuing. “Yes, the Hierarch is a man of a more serious mind, far better suited to having a wife such as you, my lady, who are a scholar in your own right. And so, although no one knows much about precisely what happened, it seems she fancied herself in love with Amael Kel-Alisaad, your husband’s brother. Apparently he was a more easygoing sort, given to pleasure and frivolous pursuits, and able to provide Hezia with the sort of uninterrupted attention she desired.”
“And because he was Besh’s twin, when Hezia became with child, no doubt they thought they could conceal the baby’s true parentage because she would resemble him either way.”
“No doubt,” Therissa said. “Not that Aldul — the under-cook — phrased it in that manner. There are limits to what can be said, even in gossip between two servants. But it seems clear enough that was their plan. How the affair was finally discovered, I do not know, for Aldul either did not know himself, or did not want to say. But it was, and so Hezia lost her life, and Amael was banished, for even though he had offended the crown mightily, it is against the law here for a commoner to spill royal blood, and it was asking too much to have the Hierarch be his brother’s own executioner.”
“I know, for Besh told me that very thing when he — reluctantly, of course — told me something of the story.”
That surprised her. “So you knew the details?”
“Some of them. When I discovered Amael’s daughter…or rather, she discovered me…I had several questions for my husband.”
“I am sure of that. So you have met the child.”
“Only once. Besh told me he could not be certain she was his, and so she is being raised in every comfort, but since no one can be sure of her parentage, she is not treated as a true child of the Hierarch.”
“Poor thing,” Therissa said, her eyes troubled. “Certainly none of this is her fault.”
“No,” I replied, for I had thought the same thing on many occasions. “But while I do not like it, I do understand what a terrible position Besh has been put in with regards to raising her. She might be his, but from the way he spoke of her, I got the impression he was fairly sure she was not. Very likely Hezia was only intimate enough with him to sow the seeds of doubt.”
An expression of distaste passed over Therissa’s countenance. “A terrible thing to do to such an honorable man.”
Honorable man. Despite how terrible things were between us, I knew he was a man of high principles, which was why I had gone to him the previous night, hoping his true nature would win out over the advice of his visanis. “Yes, it was…but she paid the price for it.”
“True. Although I cannot say she was alone in her perfidy. Amael Kel-Alisaad must take his own share of the blame, for I cannot understand how a man could stoop so low as to seduce his own brother’s wife.” She hesitated before adding, “That is, after what Aldul told me, I have something of an idea why Amael would do it, although that does not excuse his actions.”
“Was not Hezia’s surpassing beauty enough?” I asked wryly.
“I think Amael would have done the same, even if she were plain. Servants are not supposed to speak ill of their betters, but they see much. Aldul says that everyone could tell how Amael put on a good show, saying he was glad that he was the younger child so he would not have the burden of being Hierarch. But no one was much taken in. He was jealous of his brother’s position, and so sought to wound him in the one way that would hurt him the most.”
Hearing this, much of my present anger toward Besh seemed to ebb away. Poor man, it was not his fault that he had been born first. True, I was a daughter, and therefore had always known that I could never inherit the throne that was my brother’s birthright, but even so, I did not think I would have resented him for it, even if I had been born a boy. What would it have been like, to have a brother who was a rival, rather than the good friend I counted my own dear Torric?
“You see, then,” Therissa said, her tone very gentle, and I nodded.
“This makes me ache for him even more,” I replied. “But I begin to understand. I will — I will try to be more patient, and can only hope that he will forgive my impetuosity last night.”
Something in my tone must have alerted her that I was speaking of something more than merely escaping my room by way of the window and stealing into my husband’s chambers in the middle of the night. One eyebrow went up, even as her head tilted to one side, and she said, “Precisely how impetuous were you, my lady?”
Hot blood surged to my cheeks. “Very, I am afraid. I am not — not normally that forward, but I was feeling so desperate — ”
“That is all you have to say,” she told me, raising a hand. “I will not pry the details from you. Perhaps he was not as put off as you might believe. And perhaps you gave him something to think about.”
Oh, that I most assuredly did. Whether it would change anything, I could not begin to guess.
* * *
Dinner that evening was more than a little strained. I made sure that I had been arrayed in some of my very best, although the guests were merely the normal round of princes and courtiers and their wives, with no one of any particular note. And I also made certain that I put on my most serene and dignified aspect, so as to assist in erasing Besh’s memory of his wife as a wild-eyed woman who had stolen into his apartments in the dead hours of the night and then flung herself at him with no more discretion than a harlot from the streets.
Oh, damn. When I thought of it that way, I was sure he would never, ever forget.
All I could do was act as if it had never happened. And because I was so calm and polite, discussing only subjects that could not rouse the slightest bit of controversy, such as the weather and the new flowers I had spied a veritable army of gardeners setting out in the courtyard, Besh did seem to relax slightly, whereas before he had been tense, the set of his jaw so stiff I wondered how he could force his mouth open enough to accept a bite of food.
But even with all that, as the meal ended, he turned to me and said, “My lady wife, I fear that I must once again have the guards escort you to your rooms, as I have some business to manage this evening.”
Perhaps a few days ago I would have protested. My heart thumped painfully in my breast, but I would not let him see how much it hurt me that he had apparently abandoned the little courtesy I had come to look forward to at the end of each day. I inclined my head, said, “Of course, my husband,” and rose from my seat so the guards might take their positions around me and see that I was returned to my chambers with no mishap.
That night I was glad of the maids clustering around me to divest me of my jewels and clothing. Therissa stood off to one side, expression both sad and knowing. We had only been in one another’s company for a few days, but clearly she had already mastered the art of reading my expressions, and so she could see things had not gone well.
And although I attempted to tell myself that this was only one night out of many, that I could not predict what Besh would do based on his actions tonight, somehow my heart knew things had changed. In attempting to close the distance between us, I had only made it that much greater.
Chapter 15
&nbs
p; Two days after I had gone to Besh to beg him to investigate the matter further, the prisoner I had been trying to save was executed in front of the palace — in the same spot where Hezia had lost her own life, according to Therissa, who was now in touch with the palace gossip in a way I guessed the real Miram had never been.
I did not attend the execution, of course. No, my husband would not ask such a thing of me, and at any rate, apparently it was not the custom to subject the delicate eyes of the Hiereine to such a spectacle. Neither did he inform me of his decision before having the sentence carried out. Whether he had kept it from me to avoid another argument, or because he did not think it necessary to consult with me on matters of state, I did not know. Not that it mattered one way or another. What were our petty arguments, when an innocent man would be losing his very life?
And even though I tried to tell myself I did not know for certain he was innocent, I could not make myself believe that. Therissa had made another foray into the dungeons disguised as her little bantam rooster of a lieutenant, and could bring nothing back to change my mind, telling me that until the very moment he was led out of his cell to face his own death, he continued to protest his innocence. From what Therissa had been able to find out, he was the younger brother of an ironmonger, certainly not the type to foment rebellion or seek the death of his monarch. On the surface, it seemed clear that he did not have the resources to hire a squad of mounted assassins such as the ones who had attacked us in the desert. But there must have been some convincing evidence, something that Tel-Karinoor’s agents had discovered to point at this man above all others as the ringleader.
One Thousand Nights (Tales of the Latter Kingdoms Book 6) Page 21