Love, Life and Naughty Bits

by Tania Cooper

  “Hot Lips, where’s your girl going?”

  She’s moving so fast, I don’t even get a chance to respond.

  She walks out of her building and strolls down Southbank, not noticing that Mr. Stalker was back at his usual lookout point and did indeed see her leave the safety of her building. She has no appetite so continues to walk off the tension that has taken up residence in her chest. Her mind is everywhere as she begins to doubt herself again due to the mixed treatment she has received from Mr. Uptight. She now begins to think that maybe he was only happy with the work they were producing together, not actually happy with her. My poor girl’s heart is breaking and there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it. She feels like a fool for even believing for a few brief moments that he could have been our Mr. Long Term Guy.

  “Hey there, pussy cat. Maybe I can help cheer up your lunch break with a little Friday fling? My guy works in this restaurant, so if you go around back, I can get him to open the kitchen door and we could have some afternoon delight in the storeroom. What do you say?”

  “I say you’re a dickhead and fuck off.”

  “Damn. What’s up your arse? Or is it that time of the month, hun?”

  “Oh don’t you dare go there! If I had my period, I would being going all roid rage on you, I would be that pissed at your comment. Now go back to the sleazy hole you crawled out of before I really bite your head off.”

  “Oww.”

  After walking for almost a half hour, we turn and head back towards our building, still no clearer on her feelings for this confusing man. We knew he would be trouble the minute we found out we had to work with him. So why didn’t we just keep our distance and put up our professional walls? Mmm, I think Eight and I have to accept some blame here, maybe even accept it all. Damn I feel so bad.

  Alexis walks back into their shared office and Mr. Uptight Bi-Polar doesn’t even look up and acknowledge her presence. She takes a deep breath, gets comfortable at her desk, and begins to work on the files she knows she can do on her own, not wanting an excuse to have to interrupt his cocoon of shitiness.

  “Hot Lips. I can’t stand the thought of losing you before I even get a chance of making you mine. Damn this hurts.”

  “I agree Eight, it hurts bad.”

  “I bet this hurts worse than what it would if Lane decided to get my knob pierced. I think that would have me passing out.”

  “That pain would be over and done with within a few days, never to return. Try having period cramps for a few days every few weeks and that’s not the worst of it. Clotting fucking sucks! Oh and the mood swings, those would give you whiplash they swing so fast and being extra horny due to hormones racing around and not being able to do a thing about it, that’s the worst. Unless of course you’re in a committed relationship. I imagine then there would be lots of shower sex at that time of the month.”

  “Umm … I would prefer not to have the words period, shower, and sex in the same sentence thank you. But I must admit, it wouldn’t stop me from wanting you, moods and all.”

  “Aww.”

  The day is coming to an end and there’s been nothing but tension-filled silence all day. Mr. Uptight has only grunted out quick questions to Alexis, who has not lowered herself to his level and has answered him as sweetly as she normally would. It did nothing to improve the frostiness that’s settled in the air of this office. I think tonight might see the return of the vodka lows.

  Great, I’ll be peeing acid all weekend.

  Alexis gets a text from Mel, asking if drinks are on for tonight, or is she too busy being banged by Mr. Uptight on his desk. It sends my girl’s mood even lower. She sends off a quick reply of no, she’s too busy, not in the mood to discuss the past few sucky days with the girls and goes back to finishing up the last of her work. She was so preoccupied in trying to drown out Mr. Uptight that it’s now an hour and a half after finishing time already.

  She looks up to see that Lane is frowning at her and finally gives in and sends him a frown back, then proceeds to loudly pack up her desk and switch her laptop off before packing it in her bag. She tidies a few more things before finally standing and making her way towards the door. She is stopped by the chill in Mr. Uptight’s voice.

  “Alexis, what’s this email?”

  She makes her way behind his desk and leans down towards his laptop, locating which email he seems to be pissed at.

  “Those are the ideas I emailed the client earlier today. I didn’t realise they’d got back to us.”

  “And you sent them ideas without going over them with me first?”

  Whoa, back off man, my girl’s not in the mood for your shit right now.

  “Yes I did. You didn’t seem to want to be interrupted today so I sent them for the client to get an advance look at before we sent them the final concepts.”

  “This is too important to mess around with, Alexis. You need to show me the ideas first before you even think of sending them to the bloody client!”

  “Don’t you dare yell at me! I know what I’m doing!”

  “Obviously you don’t if you’re sending half-arsed crap like this!”

  And that’s my girl’s breaking point! As Mr. Uptight is fuming at her, she grabs the glass of water that was sitting on his desk and throws it right in his pretty face! The look of shock on his face is nothing compared to the shock my girl feels at his next actions.

  Before either of us knows what’s happening, Lane rises quickly from his chair and grabs both of Alexis’s arms, pulling her roughly to him as he smashes his lips against hers. Her breath’s caught in her throat as sensations begin to run riot through her body. She’s angry and wants to scream at him for grabbing her roughly and assuming she was up for a kiss from his rude arse, but on the other hand she can’t help but lean into his body as her mouth automatically opens to his demanding tongue.

  He’s giving all he has and demanding everything in return. His grip softens slightly on her arms as she feels his arousal harden against her stomach. Her mind’s a swirl of emotions as she allows her tongue to dance with his, the sensation making her nipples harden against his chest, causing a delicious friction. My core is flooding without any prompt from me; I feel as though time’s suspended as we struggle to comprehend this sudden change in Lane’s behaviour.

  But only another second passes before Alexis realises exactly what’s happening, and to my dismay, she pushes hard against his chest taking a step back, making him release his grip on her upper arms as she whispers angrily, “How dare you!”

  What? Wait! But before I can grasp a complete thought, she is storming out of his office.

  “Hot Lips! Make her come back!”

  “Oh God, Eight, I can hardly think let alone try and send a message to my girl.”

  “No! You can’t go! I need you so much it hurts. You’re mine, Hot Lips, only mine!”

  Before I have a chance to respond to the one I love, my girl is storming down the stairwell, taking two steps at a time in her stiletto heels, which has me holding my breath. When she gets to the bottom she slams the door to the lobby open, not realising that it’s completely deserted apart from the two security guards watching the monitors quietly at the main desk.

  She doesn’t hear them ask if she would like to be escorted to the tram stop, she is just intent on running, and that’s what she almost does. Her heart is hurting and her head is confused, as she tries to piece together what just happened. That man has gone from the cold Mr. Uptight, to the sweet and caring Lane, back to the arsehole we always assumed he was, to the filled with immense passion man who just gave us the best kiss of our lives, we think. It finished as fast as it started and we’re still confused as to why he kissed us in the first place.

  Talk about women’s mood swings causing whiplash. Lane’s are making us feel as if we are in a bloody car accident every Goddamn day! The tears start and I welcome them as I’m unable to cry my own. I was so caught up in the kiss I didn’t even think to talk to Eight about it
. Did he know that Lane was about to kiss Alexis? Or was it just as much a shock for him? Going by his silence, he was just as stunned. And then I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye and that I loved him. What if this is the end of their working relationship? What if I never get a chance to say goodbye?

  Suddenly all thoughts of Eight and Lane are thrown out the window as a large male hand grabs my girl over her mouth and another comes around the top of her shoulders and forcefully drags her backwards. Alexis is dragged a few feet down an empty laneway before she finally snaps out of the shock of being grabbed in such a way and starts to fight away this attacker. She screams behind his hand while trying to dig her feet into the ground to stop his movements.

  She manages to turn slightly, loosening his grip across her jaw, allowing her to take a large breath and scream with everything she has. He tries and holds her mouth again but she turns her head sharply, slipping out of his hold. She turns to get a look at her attacker’s face, but it is covered with a black balaclava. It is so dark that she is unable to see his eyes.

  He reaches a hand out to grab her shoulder again as his other grabs ahold of her shirt. She screams again as she tries to kick in the direction of his groin, but misses. But it’s then she hears Lane calling her name from a distance.

  “Lane!”

  “I’m coming Lexi, I’m coming!”

  As she hears Lane’s response, she turns her head and sees him running into the entrance of the laneway. Her attacker’s grip disappears instantly and then she hear his footsteps running away, but she doesn’t turn his way. She focuses on Lane’s form running towards her, not realising just how far down the laneway her attacker had dragged her. Lane grabs and hugs her painfully before pulling back, looking over her frantically.

  “Did he hurt you?”

  She’s lost her voice and can only manage a shake of her head to tell him no, before he suddenly lets her go and sprints in the direction her attacker ran. She stands there, silently, her body trembling with adrenaline as the realisation of what could have happened invades her thoughts. She always assumed she would be able to instantly fight off an attacker. She has done many women’s self-defence courses over the years with Mel and Zali and keeps her body strong with Pilates, but when you add shock to the equation, everything you have learnt can sometimes go out the window and it feels like that just happened to my girl.

  What if she didn’t snap out of the initial shock soon enough, what if she was struck over the head and knocked out? The what ifs are making her tremble more as shock takes over her body completely, weakening her knees, causing her to collapse to the concrete ground beneath her. It’s harder to breathe now; her heart is pumping blood faster through her veins, causing a loud roar inside her ears as she stares down at the dirt beside her knees.

  Lane comes running back towards Alexis, but she doesn’t hear his footsteps. He kneels down in front of her and gently lifts her chin, asking again if she is hurt, but she doesn’t hear the words. He tells her to take a deep breath, but it doesn’t register. He gently grabs her under her arms and helps her to stand, scanning her body for any injuries before gently folding her into his arms and against his chest, his hand softly gliding over her hair. Holding her tightly, rocking her slightly as he tries to sooth her with his words, words that are not penetrating her shocked brain.

  “Lexi baby, we need to call the police or drive you straight to the local station to report the assault. Security have enough information on the creep that’s been stalking you out the front for the police to at least question him about this. Lexi, can you hear me? Do you understand what I’m saying?”

  I think she does hear him, but she is still unresponsive to his questions. My girl is having trouble accepting what could have happened if Lane hadn’t heard her scream and come looking for her.

  “Oh my Hot Lips, my sweet, sweet Hot Lips. I feel sick, sick at the thought of that fucker trying to touch my girls. Thank God, a minute after Alexis stormed out, my boy finally got his head out of his arse and realised what an epic mistake he had been making with her and then panicked that she was now walking out in the dark alone. If he hadn’t run after her …”

  “Oh I know my love, I know. My poor girl, oh dear God, the thought of what could have happened …”

  “Shh baby, shh. You’re safe now. I’ve got you.”

  I’m waiting for the flood of tears to start, but Alexis is still too numb to feel more than shock. I’m so worried, it’s not like my girl to stay this silent. I’m not sure what to do.

  “Lexi baby, look at me. We have to go to the police. Are you able to walk?”

  “No police.”

  What? She finally talks and she is refusing to go to the police? Oh Alexis, you are not thinking straight, my girl.

  “Lexi, we have to report it to the police in case it’s connected to the stalker or the phone calls.”

  “No, no, no. No Lane, please.”

  “I will be right there holding you the whole time. They will just ask a few question and then I will put them in contact with our security. That’s all, I promise.”

  “No. They will keep me there for hours asking the same questions over and over again. I can’t do that. I won’t. I can’t identify the attacker so I can’t connect him to the stalker, who security hasn’t even been able to do anything about because he has done nothing but stare. Nothing can be done! No police! No! No!”

  “Hey sweetheart, come here. It’s okay, it’s okay. I won’t force you. Maybe when you have had more time to think about it. It’s okay, I’ve got you now, you’re safe in my arms, always.”

  “Please take me out of here Lane, please.”

  “Okay baby. I’ll take you to my place. Now’s not the time to be alone, okay?”

  “Oh God, Lane. Take me out of here, out of this city, these buildings feel like they are closing in on me. It’s suffocating! I can’t breathe here. I need to breathe.”

  Her knees go weak again as her shaking increases and finally the tears start to fall. Lane catches her against him and then bends and picks her up in his arms, cradling her close to his chest while raining sweet kisses all over her head. He leans down awkwardly to grab her bag and then swings it over his shoulder and walks back out towards the waterfront.

  He walks only another block then turns left down a quiet street, walking only minutes before stopping at the side of a tall building, where he punches numbers into a keyboard. There’s an electronic click before a door opens to reveal stairs that lead to an underground carpark full of luxury cars.

  He walks past a few bays before stopping beside a black sleek car. He slowly places Alexis’s feet on the ground, still keeping a supporting arm around her as he uses his free hand to reach in his pocket, finding his keys and pressing the button to open his car. He opens the passenger side and carefully, tenderly, helps my girl into the car, grabbing the seatbelt and strapping her in safely. He brushes tears from her cheek before placing a feather light kiss to her nose. He then walks around and slides into the driver’s seat.

  The engine roaring to life has Alexis jumping out of her skin. Lane reaches over and gives her hand a reassuring squeeze before returning both hands to the wheel and proceeding to drive out of the carpark and down the street. All of us are silent, as the weight of the night’s event starts to lay heavily on our hearts.

  The tears have stopped but I can still feel their wetness on her cheeks. Her thoughts are muddled as she watches the lights of the city go by. Soon it darkens as we drive onto a freeway and further and further away from the city. Lane reaches over and places his hand on her knee, his thumb rubbing soothing circles over her skin.

  My girl is confused. She was so frightened tonight and fears she may never feel free again to walk the streets of her city. She feels as if she just wants to curl up into a ball and cry for days, but not alone. As much as she is conflicted about her feelings for Lane and his towards her, there isn’t a single other person she wants to be sitting next to right now. His
tender ways have her heart aching, but it’s worth it, in this moment, when she needs the caring Lane she only got to see for a matter of days. She would take anything he would offer right now than not have him at all.

  She just wishes there was a guarantee that this is the Lane she will see when the sun rises tomorrow, because this is the Lane she could see falling hopelessly in love with, which, if she was honest with herself, was what her heart has already started to do.

  We feel as if we have been in the car all night. I feel squished, sweaty and exhausted when Lane slows and winds his car down a small dark road. When Alexis turns her head towards him, what she thinks she sees outside of his window has her heart racing.

  He then turns slowly to his right and pulls up to a small gate before hopping out and quickly pushing the gate open enough for his car to pass by. The smell from outside has tears forming in my girl’s eyes and the breath catching in her throat as Lane quickly hops back in and drives down the long dark driveway before stopping in front of a large two story beach house.

  As he hops out of the car and walks around to open Alexis’s door, he is treated to a sobbing mess. The realisation that Lane has brought us to a beach house, obviously his beach house and something she has been dreaming about for a lifetime, has her completely and utterly falling apart. Damn, I hope this Lane is the real Lane, because if it’s not, it’s going to hurt my girl more than any attack down a laneway could.

  Lane, you are the Aussie equivalent of a backwards superman, seriously, to spend all that time being a complete tosser, then go chasing after her like you did; yes it worked to both your advantages, hers in staying alive; and yours, in that you actually undid all the crap you set in place by acting like a colossal arsehole for the past two days. Now here she is, sitting curled up and shaking as she fights adrenaline overload and shock; Hot Lips hasn’t spoken to me yet, but I have a strong feeling she is as shocked and fear soaked as our girl is.