I Won't Let You Die Angel

by Neal Goldy

  “My pendant??”

  Her anger receded gradually, but mine didn’t. “Oh, Janet! So intelligent, but so dumb sometimes. Your pendant is the key that activates the warheads, sweetie.”

  Okay, no shocker. It just dropped on my head like a nuclear bomb. “But how could it be my pendant?? It’s got to be some code or program.”

  She smiled mysteriously, “Intelligent Janet resurfaces again. Of course, it’s a code. Your pendant is what triggers the code.” She dragged me across the room to the front of a computer. Now I finally fit the missing piece in the puzzle.

  “Janet??” Neil asked skeptically.

  Okay, it was time to drop the bomb. “The assembly code that activates and launches the warheads has been installed via a very special operating system in this computer only. The computer won’t boot up to 100% until it scans the password, which in this case is a uniquely unusual turquoise stone.” Majestic was beaming. “I wished my star student, that stupid scientist, had brains as well. He very inconveniently set this stone as the password ditching regular finger prints and retina scan technology, which has become a huge pain in the ass.”

  “Wasn’t that scientist your accomplice?”

  “I wish. Wasn’t Kevin your boyfriend?”

  “He – what??” I entwined my fingers in my hair, my bracelet jangling on my wrist. This was getting crazier and crazier. Then I got it.

  “Oh lord!!! You hypnotized him.” I stared in disbelief. Unbelievable! I mean not what she had done, but to what extent people would stoop in order to accomplish what they craved. They would even snatch one’s free will.

  “You know what? You’re turning more petulant each passing minute. Your parents would be proud of you.”

  “Oh, don’t worry, they already are.”

  She shrugged, “Not these trivial parents of yours. Your real parents.”

  My hands felt cold. “You…you know my birth parents? You know I’m adopted?”

  She smirked crookedly, “You, yourself, admitted that I hypnotized you before taking you in. Your parents are dear friends of mine.”

  I didn’t like the sound of “friends” and I definitely didn’t like the fact that she had hypnotized out of me the names of my birth-parents. I didn’t know what was more bizarre; that she knew the one secret that I had confided to only one person, Neil, or that she had tricked it out of me. It’s bad when your friends discover your secrets and it’s dreadful when your foes do. I searched Neil for a little assurance, but he wouldn’t look me in the face and was fidgeting excessively.

  “Neil would be pleased to know about your little secret. Why pleased? He’d love it.” But then she noticed Neil’s behavior…“Oh, he already knows and didn’t tell you. What an interesting turn of events.”

  “Neil,” I inquired softly. “Neil, what is she talking about?” No answer.

  “Neil, look at me!” He locked his eyes with mine and those ocean blue orbs screamed only one thing: guilty.

  Majestic was enjoying this immensely, “Okay, I love to do this--kill the surprise.”

  “Leave her alone! Can’t you see that she doesn’t want to hear it!” shrieked mom. Nicole, er, whoever she was grabbed her.

  Majestic smiled crookedly, “But she does want to know. Right, Janet? She would love to discover that Neil’s godparents are actually her parents.”

  Chapter 24

  Oh, I couldn’t even think clearly.

  “You’re lying. You’re playing some sick game.” But I knew she was not lying. Neil’s eyes said everything.

  “If that’s true, then that means…that means Carl...” I couldn’t finish it. Majestic did the honors.

  “Carl was your brother, your own blood, and you killed him along with your stepbrother. How hypocritical!”

  “My, my brother...” Now I understood what Storm meant by true “blood calls”, why Carl took that bullet for me, why Neil was so shocked to hear my birth parents’ names. Everything was becoming crystal clear, that letter: “it’s our unfortunate destiny that we can’t indulge her because of the darkness we are engulfed in”.

  I supported myself with the nearest wall. More than 50% of the natives enjoyed my breakdown. And Majestic thought I killed Carl! Well, in a manner of speaking, I did. But the point was, she was completely oblivious of Carl’s involvement with the FBI. Smart of Chris not to divulge all the important details to the local police.

  That meant we were still up on our enemies somehow and it meant hope. Hope can’t be diminished. I locked my eyes with Neil’s, and an understanding passed between us. We should have nominated ourselves for the best partners-in-crime category.

  I made a faux fuss and shouted at Neil, “How could you do this to me? I trusted you.” I pushed him hard towards the door. Fatty gladly darted out of the way. “You knew this all along and hid the truth. Carl was in front of my eyes all this time and you didn’t tell me he was my brother. How could you?”

  I pushed him further, but this time at a slightly different angle. I slammed him against the wall and clutched his collar. “You treacherous, emotionally challenged, idiotic fool!”

  I reached past his shoulders and grabbed four decorative knives. Without even wasting a second, I threw them, two towards Rusty’s and blonde Nicole’s hearts. They collapsed writhing in pain. Neil backed me up by picking up fatty’s discarded gun and shooting the two during their final breaths.

  Majestic growled like a mad tigress and choked mom’s throat, while fatty shot Neil in the shoulder. All of this happened so quickly that the processing function of my brain couldn’t discriminate between a series of blurred scenarios.

  “Leave my mom alone!” I cried and at the same instant the windows blew up. I ran and pulled mom aside, but could not do anything to free Neil from fatty’s grip. Chris and Co. to the rescue. Although they couldn’t fire blindly due to our presence, they totally ambushed Majestic caged inside.

  What perfect timing. I swear, there never had been another case of perfect timing--even in the movies--better than this. Chris pointed his brand new fully- loaded gun, and totally in the Gold style said, “Game’s over, Majestic!”

  “Liam, secure the computer. Ted, show our dear woman what hell looks like.” Majestic started laughing maniacally. Sure, she was already a maniac, no doubt about that. But I guess she was now having a very severe nervous breakdown.

  Chris scowled, “The warheads are secured, Majestic.” That did shock her, and she stopped her unnatural façade. Well, that did shock me as well. “Chris, how did you…”

  He gestured towards Richard’s body, “He activated the emergency link between us before dying. That’s how we came to know about all this. We were already aware of the place where she had met Neil when hiring him. So all’s well that end's well.” I prayed for Richard’s soul. After all, he saved the day and the world from never-ending war.

  Majestic was still in no mood to surrender. She gave one of her foul looks to fatty who jumped from captivity and ripped his jacket open. Underneath there was a maze of endless loops of wires and…Well, looks like we just encountered a suicide bomber. That’s why fatty looked fatter than before. Uh oh.

  Everybody was taken aback big time. I mean, who would have thought up something like this.

  “Game’s not over, Agent. Not at all! Stay back or every soul here dies.”

  “The warheads are recovered, Majestic. Your diabolical plan backfired.”

  “Evil never dies. Haven’t you heard of that? We’ll succeed someday. We’ll succeed in bringing Chaos if not this time. Iraq will surely be destroyed and America will perish.”

  “Iraq?” Chris exclaimed. “So that was your ultimate goal. To demolish Iraq from the globe and sail America on a boat every nation would love to drown from time to time. Was your husband involved as well?

  Of course!!! He’s in Iraq right now.”

  I was disgusted, “This is insanity. This is despicable madness! What did you even intend to achieve through all of it? Chaos? ”
<
br />   Majestic grasped my arm in an ironclad hold. “It’d be tragic to lose you. Come with me, I’ll reunite you with your family. I’ll expose you to a whole new world. You’ll be the princess. I’ll even forgive you for my children’s unfortunate fate.”

  I jerked my hand away, “I considered you as family, and look where it got me. I have a family, Majestic, I don’t need foster parents.”

  She looked outraged, “I’ll get back at you, Janet Kanet. I’ll avenge my children and snatch every single person you cherish from you. That’s my vow. I promise you.”

  A chill went through my spine.

  “And I’ll start today,” she added. She rushed towards the door, “Take Neil as a hostage,” she directed fatty and then shot us a last glance, “If any of you dare come after me, he dies.” Fatty grabbed Neil and dragged him away, closing the door behind.

  “NO”, mom exclaimed as she grabbed me from behind to stop my futile attempt to follow them. “Leave me. She’ll kill him anyway. Didn’t you listen to her? She’ll kill him. NO!!!”

  Chris stood in front of me and cupped my face, “Janet, listen to me. She won’t order the explosion or kill Neil before she finds herself a safe haven. She’s bluffing; she’s a coward, and she won’t dig her own grave. Come on, we need to follow them, but not without a strategy. I’ll return Neil to you. That’s a promise.”

  We jumped out of the blown up windows and chased them all the way to the main road, careful not to be spotted. Each passing second was like a million glass pieces piercing my heart.

  I couldn’t lose Neil. I couldn’t. After so many ups and down and hitches, God couldn’t just snatch away the one person I couldn’t live without. No one deserved this cruel injustice. It was not fair. It was just not fair!!

  Tears leaked out of my eyes, unstoppable, and I wiped them hastily. I couldn’t be weak, I would have to save Neil.

  Majestic, fatty and Neil were close to the SUV parked in the roadway. Chris increased his pace. Neil saw us approaching and shouted NO. Defying his charity-case warning, we kept racing in their direction.

  Four of our comrades cornered the fleeing gang from the other side. Realization hit Majestic that she was trapped. She barked some orders to fatty and opened the driver’s door.

  No, she couldn’t run away like this. Fatty kept his hold on Neil with the left hand, with the right one on some sort of bomb trigger. The SUV’s engine revved to life. Four agents blocked Majestic’s way, continually firing in her direction, but she kept increasing the speed. God, she was going to crush them down. We were still not close enough.

  Neil was shouting crazily to fall back, but how could I? Everyone except me and Chris got left behind. Majestic was quickly getting away. Neil elbowed fatty and kicked him with all his might towards the now speeding SUV. The trigger went down and BOOM…

  Light blinded my sight and we were forced backward due to the residual kinetic energy. Debris was suspended in the air, and there was nothing but an orange-yellowish hue everywhere. I hit my head hard in a fall. My head was filled with electric pain. We were far enough away to avoid decimation, but Neil was not.

  I needed to get up, I needed to find Neil. I tried to get up, but failed profoundly. My head hurt, my heart ached. I felt like dying. Chris pulled me back when I tried to crawl forward. Mom reached us and pulled me to her lap. “Janet!! Janet!!!”

  I tried to speak…I’m all right…help Neil, but the words died before exiting my lips. Never in my life had I felt this helpless and broken. A thick liquid soaked my hair and face. Was it raining?? No, it was blood, my blood. Carl’s death replayed before my eyes.

  I stared in Neil’s direction, but there was nothing but thick black smoke. I couldn’t see him. Hell, I needed to see him. I’d die if I couldn’t see him.

  God couldn’t be this cruel. I shouldn’t be punished like this. I remembered how his lips felt on mine, how he asked for my hand to pull him out of the darkness, how I promised to always shine for him, but I failed. I failed him and I failed myself. I failed for the first time in my life, and God it hurt. How it hurt.

  I lost consciousness and the last thing I remembered were his ocean blue eyes and that carefree smile for which I would give everything away to see again.

  Epilogue

  I roamed around the quad that stretched before the College of Engineering at UC Berkley in the hope of finding solace in a familiar environment. But I couldn’t.

  Everything was the same: the quad, the lecture hall, the library, the laboratory, everything. But what had changed was me: my heart, my perspective on life, and a college semester devoid of my favorite professor. Okay, it was better to avoid talking about the aforementioned professor.

  Heraclitus once said, Change is the only constant in life, but it hurt. The inevitable change life so brutally inflicted upon me hurt.

  I deliberately picked a book from the library book shelf and started to read. Reading always helps, or it had always helped before. Two months had passed, two whole months, and what I really did was study merely for quizzes and assignments.

  I landed on the chapter explaining the mechanism of GPS. A slide show already started playing in my mind: me, sitting behind Neil on his exotic bike, explaining how Einstein’s famous theory of relativity so clearly applied to GPS systems. I slammed the book shut in exasperation.

  This is how I ended up most of the time now. Every time I picked some topic to explore, a moment with Neil or Carl consumed my brain and left me broken. People say to move on. But was it that simple? How does a body move on with losses so potent?

  I found a brother, a brother I had always craved, a brother who was my own flesh and blood. I had found a love that consumed me and changed me; and I lost them both. Tell me how does someone cope with this much agony?

  I skipped my Basic Electronics class and rushed toward the dorms. Nicole was sprawled on the bed, practically beating the keys of her laptop. Her presence was the only thing that was keeping me grounded and sane.

  “Watcha doing?” I asked, putting on a fake smile.

  She grinned, seeing me and then buried her head in her laptop. “A literary survey on Shakespeare’s Othello.”

  “Tragic”

  “Yeah.”

  What happened to you? Ditched your classes again? I swear, Janet, if you keep sulking like this, I’m gonna have a very ugly conversation with your dad.”

  I made a puppy face, “I couldn’t concentrate; it’s just one class.”

  She gave me an elusive smirk and came over to hug me. “Don’t run away, Janet. You said yourself that you’re a fighter. Don’t give up like this. The journey never ends and you need to get going. Move on with your life.”

  God! Why does everyone keep telling me that? I officially hate the words “move on”. As always, I put on a happy mask and broke free from the hug. “You’re a life saver, Nicole.”

  She groaned, “God, Janet, when are you going to call me by my actual name?”

  “Never! You’re Nicole, my best friend, my confederate, my partner-in-crime; I’m gonna remember you this way only. So, suck it up.

  Besides, everybody knows you as Nicole Collins.”

  “All thanks to you. You convinced the FBI to let me keep the alias and lead a normal life.”

  “Yeah, it’s not like they could have declared the ‘respectable’ Collins family as traitors and most-wanted terrorists. I just showed them a way.”

  “And I owe you for that”, she smiled slyly, “That’s why I have a gift for you.” She handed me a non-sealed envelope excitedly.

  I opened it, hesitatingly. “A flight ticket to New York for tonight!”

  She pulled me down on the bed alongside her, “You were planning all along to spend some quality time with your mom, right? So, I contacted her and improvised.”

  I was overwhelmed, “Oh, Nicole, I love you. You’re the best friend ever in the history of friendkind.”

  She giggled, “Please, let Shakespeare be the literature king. And yeah, spend
beaucoup bucks on shopping, touring, clubbing, boys…”

  My face fell, “Not again!!”

  She beckoned me to face her, “You need to let go of him, Janet. He’s gone. Why can’t you just let go.”

  “He’s not dead, Nicole, not until I see his corpse for myself. I can’t let go of him; he’d have never let go of me if in my place.” My voice was weary and melancholy, having made this argument again and again.

  She sighed and shrugged melodramatically. “Fine!! Don’t listen to my menial advice. But on a serious note, at least quit cuddling that iPad. You’ve read and reread that letter a thousand times. I bet you will remember it like a lullaby.”

  “That letter and iPad are the only things I have of my brother’s; I want to savor every bit of them.”

  “Yes, and that wallpaper?”

  “That’s trivial.”

  “No! That’s your parents’ picture, which you haven’t removed in lieu of berating them.”

  “Because it was Carl’s wish and I don’t want to insult his memory. It's got nothing to do with me. They are nonexistent for me in all respects.” I shrieked.

  Nicole took my hand in a conciliatory gesture, “Janet, they are your birth parents. It’s natural to feel an unbreakable bond. There’s nothing wrong in releasing them from condemnation. You can meet them, you know, just once. I’ve had an audience with Felicity Bandson, and she’s actually charming.”

  I jerked my hand away, “They abandoned me.”

  “For your own good.”

  “Then it should have been my choice, not theirs like Carl had. They had no right to snatch away that choice and act condescending. It should have been me who decided whether I wanted my soul to drown in eternal damnation or not. Besides, why should I meet and greet them? I’m not on a suicide mission to purposely enter into the oblivion of the galaxy’s dark black hole.”

  Nicole was ensconced on her elbows. If she was pissed at my outburst again, she wisely refrained from pointing it out. “Okay, wise girl, shouldn’t we be packing by now?”