A Better Place

by Jennifer Van Wyk

  “Jack, I assume you want truth from me, yeah?”

  “That’d be good.”

  “I’m falling for your mom in a big way. Like in an I can see a forever with her kind of way. And I know that she’s right there with me. But, like I said, it scares her. I don’t know your story. Not fully anyway. I’ve gathered some stuff, assumed things… but you know what they say about assuming. And I really, really hope I’m wrong about everything I think I know, but I’m afraid that I’m right,” I say to him.

  He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath and nods faintly.

  “Jack, I think tonight was your mom letting it all out. And not that I like seeing her like this, but maybe it’s a good thing. Maybe she needed to have a night where she let herself…”

  “Get wasted?”

  “Well, yeah. Not really, but yeah. Am I making any sense?”

  I am messing this up so badly.

  “Kind of.”

  “Here’s the deal. Whatever happened for you two before you moved here shifted something in your mom. And not to sound cocky, but ever since she met me, she’s been allowing parts of herself she’s kept hidden for so long to shine through.”

  “I see that,” he says as he gazes at his mom passed out on the couch. “So, uh, this is kind of awkward. I mean, no more awkward than asking for kissing tips, but still… I don’t really know what to do here. I’ve never been around a drunk person before.”

  “That’s good news,” I tell him, grinning. “I’ll help you get her to her room, then I’ll sleep on the couch. I’d like to be here in case she needs me. If that’s okay with you, that is. Not that I don’t trust you to take care of her…”

  He lifts a hand. “Yeah, that’s okay with me. I’ll go get her bed ready for her if you want to carry her in?” he says pointing in the direction of her bedroom.

  “You got it,” I assure him.

  He grabs the trashcan, and I hand him a bottle of water. I watch as he disappears down the hallway leading toward her bedroom, and I bend down next to Carly.

  “Carly, sweetheart,” I say in a quiet voice. “I’m gonna lift you up and bring you to your room, okay?”

  She grunts and moans but doesn’t protest, so I pick her up to carry her. Just as I’m getting to her doorway, Jack is stepping out.

  “I moved her blankets aside so you can just lay her down, and I put the trashcan beside her bed, just in case.”

  “Thanks, bud.”

  “Do I need to do anything else?”

  “Nah, I’ve got her. Thanks though. You’re a pretty good kid, you know that?”

  “Eh, she makes it easy,” he says as he backs away and moves into his own bedroom just across the hall.

  “Here you go,” I whisper into her ear, taking a moment to inhale her intoxicating scent that luckily isn’t overrun by vomit, as I lay her down on the bed.

  I stand up straight and look around. As dark as Jack’s bedroom is, Carly’s is just the opposite. Everything is white, except for the wall her bed sits against, which is a deep teal color, and a few throw pillows it looks like Jack tossed on the ground that are the same color. On one wall, she has three signs hung, each with one arrow on them, painted in gold and teals, and a large golden full-length mirror on a stand in the corner. The bedroom furniture is all white, with frames of pictures of Jack covering the surfaces. It’s Carly. And my eyes can’t take everything in quickly enough.

  She starts mumbling, and I turn my head toward her, noticing her eyes are on me.

  “Hey, beautiful. How you feeling?”

  “Mmgrffs are the dlivl,” she says.

  “Ha! What was that?”

  “Margaritas are the devil,” she says much more clearly this time.

  “Well I think that might have a little to do with the quantity rather than the margaritas themselves.”

  “Eh, you say potato and I say tomato,” she says nestling in to her bed.

  Man, she’s even adorable drunk. “Need anything? Aside from sleep?” I ask as I pull the covers up over her chest.

  “Nuh-uh, sleep is good.”

  I look down. Her eyes are already closed, her dark eyelashes fanning out, cheekbones still flushed and dark pink lips set in a pout. Her lips part and start to move slightly, like she’s trying to say something.

  “Baby, you need anything?”

  She looks back up into my eyes, hers surprisingly clear. “You,” she mumbles.

  I kneel closer, praying she continues. Praying that I heard her right.

  “I just need you, James. You’re my lobster,” she mumbles before closing her eyes again.

  Thank the good Lord Tess is still a Friends freak, so I know exactly what she meant by that. And the thought has me smiling all the way to the couch where I stretch out my long body, arms behind my head, feeling more content than I’ve felt in… well… ever.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Carly

  Pain.

  So. Much. Pain.

  What the hell happened last night? The last thing I remember is Lauren’s shockingly disturbing charades about what a fine line is. If I didn’t remember the margarita pitchers being replenished every five minutes, I would think that was why I am feeling like my head is smashed under an elephant’s foot.

  I groan and fall to my knees from my bed, crawl to the bathroom, and use the toilet to pull myself up. I do my business, gag a little bit, wash my hands and face, then look in the mirror. It isn’t pretty but not as bad as it could be. At least I wasn’t wearing too much makeup last night, so I don’t have it smeared across my face.

  I brush my teeth, gag again, down a couple of Tylenol and chug a glass of water, then plop right down on my butt in the middle of the bathroom.

  I’m trying to piece together everything that happened when I hear a knock on the bathroom door and a deep voice call out my name.

  “Carly?”

  Oh crap.

  “Carly, babe, you alright in there?”

  Double — no make that triple — crap. James. Questions are firing off through my head like the end of a fireworks show.

  Why is he here?

  When did he get here?

  Where did he sleep?

  How much did he see?

  What did I say?

  “Fine!” I squeak. “I’m fine!”

  “You sure?”

  “Mm-hmm, yup! I’ll be right out!”

  “Okay. I have coffee started, then I can answer those questions for you,” he says chuckling. What a smart ass.

  “Whatever,” I mumble low enough that I think he can’t hear. I’m wrong.

  He bursts out laughing as I hear him make his way back through my bedroom.

  I slowly stand up, thankful that I’m at least still in my clothes from last night. I take one more look in the mirror, cringe, and run my fingers through my hair.

  When I get to the kitchen, the first thing I see is James’s back to me as he cooks something on the stove. I walk over to the coffeepot, pick up the mug already sitting there ready for me, and take a sip.

  “How you feeling?” he asks without turning around.

  “Like that squirrel who’s roadkill across the street.”

  “Sounds about right.” He snorts out a laugh and turns around. He rests his hands against the countertop and raises his eyebrows at me. “Got any questions?”

  I plop down at the table, stretch my arms out, and lay my head over my right arm. “Not really sure yet if I want to know.”

  I lift my head and watch him. “Well, let me get the few taken care of for you. I’m here because I wanted to make sure you were okay. Last night I got a phone call from the owner of El Charro. I helped him with his restaurant makeover a few years ago, and he remembered me bringing Tess in. When I got there, you were a second away from passing out, and the other girls were having a private concert.”

  A giggle bursts out of me, then I run my hand over my face, my head hurting at the slight movement. “Oh geesh. We were tanked, weren’t we?”


  “Little bit,” he says, winking, then turns back around to finish whatever he’s cooking on the stove.

  “What are you making?”

  “Just some scrambled eggs. Toast is done. You need to eat, but nothing too crazy,” he says.

  “Well, if it isn’t Fun Carly.” Jack strides into the room smiling like a loon.

  I groan. “How much…”

  “Did you drink? All of it.”

  “No, I was going to ask how much you saw, you little smartass.”

  He grins. “Oh, I saw a lot. But not as much as the patrons of El Charro, or this guy over here,” he says and points to James who’s dishing up eggs for the three of us.

  Jack reaches into the fridge and pulls out the orange juice. He fills a glass and drinks down half in one big swallow.

  “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me,” I tell him.

  He takes a seat at the table and reaches over, squeezing my hand lightly. “Mom. You’re forty-two years old. I’m pretty sure you’re allowed one night of drunken debauchery.”

  “No, I’m not. You know what my mom…”

  “I know, and I also know you’re not her.”

  I look over to see James watching us but keeping quiet. We settle in and eat our breakfast that he prepared for us. The first few bites feel a little risky, but soon my stomach starts to settle, and the combination of greasy bacon and eggs starts to calm the storm that was brewing inside. After we eat, the three of us clean up dishes, and Jack announces he’s going to the gym then will be at a friend’s house hanging out.

  “So,” James says, gaining my attention.

  “Want to sit? I think I need to sit,” I say.

  He smiles and nods his head toward the living room. We both settle in on the couch. I sit against the armrest, facing him with my knee resting against the back of the couch and the other leg dangling off the side. He sits similarly to me.

  “Have any questions for me?”

  “Maybe a few,” I admit.

  “Let’s just say that last night you and the girls had a good time, and when I got to El Charro, you were taking a little nap with your head resting on the table. After I got you out of there and to my car, which you threw up next to, I took you home, where Jack greeted me and helped you into bed.”

  “Short version, I assume.”

  “Correct.”

  “Ugh, I’m so embarrassed.”

  “Nothing to be embarrassed about, sweetheart.”

  “Really?”

  “Really. But in full disclosure, you did say a few things,” he says nervously.

  “Oh boy.” I cringe.

  “Carly, you were honest with me last night, probably more so than you meant to be. But now I need to be honest with you.”

  “What’s wrong?” I ask him anxiously.

  James leans forward a little bit, taking my hand in his. He glances down before looking at me in the eye. “I don’t think… I know I promised. And I’m not going back on that promise, I swear, but Carly, you gotta know I want more. And after last night, I know you do, too. I realize it was Drunk Carly talking, but they always say there’s more truth in drunk talk, right?”

  I try to pull my hand back, but he won’t release it. “What did I say?”

  “Like word for word or just in general?”

  “In general’s good,” I whisper.

  “That I’m everything, lickable, and your lobster.”

  “James! I thought you said I don’t have anything to be embarrassed about!?” I shout and slap him on the knee with my other hand.

  “You don’t!” he promises. “I swear! Don’t you think I wanted to hear that? I’ve been waiting weeks to hear that come out of your mouth!”

  We both laugh then stare at each other for a bit. I lick my lips a couple times and turn my head to the side, away from the intensity in his eyes.

  “Carly, c’mere,” he says.

  I hesitate only a second before I move over to him when I feel him tug on my hand. He moves his leg to make room for me as I turn, my back to his front as he wraps his strong arms around me. He leans down and kisses the side of my head and squeezes his arms tighter around me.

  “You know I would wait forever for you,” he says into my ear, his voice barely above a whisper.

  I nod my head against his shoulder, tears building in my eyes. I do know this. He’s made it clear, but I’m done fighting it. I’m done letting Vince and his jackassery win.

  “I know,” I whisper back.

  “Tell me what you’re thinking,” he pleads.

  “I don’t think I want to be your friend anymore, James,” I tell him and lean my head to the side so I can see his face.

  His eyes never stray from mine. I don’t know if he’s looking for hesitation or confusion on my part, but it’s not there. I want this. I need this. And I’m ready.

  “Finally,” he growls as his mouth crashes into mine. Moments after our lips touch for the first time, his tongue begs for entry, to which I immediately allow. I turn over completely so our chests are pressed together. His right arm wraps around my waist, pulling me tighter against him as his left hand goes into my hair, his fingers splaying against the back of my neck, keeping my face close. His lips are soft and bruising at the same time, claiming me and letting me know that he’s all in. It’s not hurried or rushed. It’s slow and sweet and sensual and eager. It’s everything. All at once.

  My body feels like it could erupt in flames at any moment, especially when I shift slightly and can sense what I’m doing to him, showing me we’re not only emotionally together in this, but physically as well.

  I’ve learned that when I’ve been waiting for something for so long, even something I wasn’t even sure I wanted in the first place, it feels so much better than if I’d received it right away. I didn’t realize I wanted so much with James until this very moment. And I’m not going to take a moment for granted.

  “Carly.” James moans into my mouth, spurring me on further.

  If possible, I push myself deeper into his body as I pull my knees up so I’m straddling him. His hands move over my back and trail lower until he’s cupping my butt. He squeezes just slightly before his hands slide back up toward my waist. I want to tell him to move them back, but the feel of everything happening in the moment is too overwhelming to make any coherent words come out of my mouth.

  I turn my head slightly as I pull back, gasping for air. He brings my face back to look at him in the eye and growls, “Not done yet.” Before bringing my mouth back to his in a powerful kiss. I press into him, our centers crashing against each other. His hard and my soft, and he lifts his hips, circling them against me causing him to groan so deeply I feel it in my chest. Or maybe it’s me. I honestly can’t be sure. Our mouths are moving against each other’s in a dance that feels like it has been perfected over time, but in reality? It’s just that right.

  Slowly our mouths part and I lean up, my right hand over his thumping heart and my left hand against the couch.

  “James,” I whisper.

  “Yeah,” he says and swallows.

  “I can’t…” I cover my mouth as a laugh bursts out of me.

  “Well, that’s not really what I expected.”

  “No! No. Oh geesh. James, that was… Holy shit.”

  He raises his eyebrows as he shifts under me.

  “Oh! Oh,” I say and quickly scramble off him. I had to have been hurting him. He wasn’t exactly in the most comfortable state.

  “Carly…” He looks down, shaking his head, laughing lightly as he reaches down and adjusts himself, the sight causing my cheeks to flame and my core to tingle. “…it’s fine. Trust me on that.”

  “Oh, okay.” Am I ever not going to be awkward in front of this man?

  “So, I was thinking.”

  “You could think during that!?” I screech.

  “Well, to be fair, I’ve been thinking this for a while now. That just confirmed it for me.”

  “
What is it?”

  “We should go on a date,” he says, smiling.

  “Yeah, I think you’re right.”

  “Really? I expected way more of a fight on that one.”

  I giggle. “I have been a little… determined, haven’t I?”

  “Worth it,” he mumbles, pulling me back down for another kiss, making my heart soar.

  “So, a date?”

  “I don’t want this to come off as presumptuous, but I’d really like to cook for you in my home and I have the apartment above Balance, but it’s not ready yet. I’m not willing to wait very long for this date.”

  “You have been very patient with me,” I assure him.

  “So, I was thinking… what if I come pick you up tonight? Or is that too soon?”

  “Not too soon at all.”

  “I’ll cook for you there one day, I promise. But tonight is a real date.”

  “Can’t wait,” I say, fighting back giddy squeals.

  “So, I’ll see you around six?”

  “Five,” I correct him, causing him to grin.

  “Five it is,” James confirms, kissing me again, as if he can’t get enough. “You might need to get off me now, so I can go home and prepare to woo you.”

  “Oh!” I say, sitting up quickly. “I’m sorry.”

  “Never be sorry for sitting on me, or lying on me, basically touching me in any way.”

  “You’re kind of wonderful, you know that?” I tell him.

  “Nah, it’s pretty simple when I’m with you.”

  And my entire body melts to a big pile of goo.

  We both stand up as we make our way to the front door. He steps into his boots, leaving them untied. He turns to face me and takes my face in his large hands.

  “I’ll see you tonight? At five?” I ask, breathless.

  “Yeah, baby, see you here. I’ll pick you up at five. Until then.” James leans down and brushes his lips against mine once. Twice. Three times. Then I take his shirt in my hand and fist it, bringing him down to me. One hand leaves my face as he reaches around my back and bends me over backward. He kisses me so thoroughly I feel it in my toes.

  Suddenly we’re both upright again and he lays his forehead against mine.

  “You’re everything I need, Carly,” he says, making me gasp. He rubs his thumb over my cheek, his voice low and husky. “Remember a bit more of last night, sweetheart?”