SAVAGE: The Kingwood Duet

by Scott, S. L.

  Rebecca was nominated in the impressive “Leaders In Residence” category, which meant an official job offer after her stint at University if she won. During the last nine months they’d been together, she’d worked hard to earn a place at the hospital, while simultaneously trying to win Ben’s heart. She’d stuck with him through dark months of his attempts to let go of something that had moored him for so many years. His life with Grace. He and Grace had been friends for four years, dated for seven, and engaged for almost two. Without Grace, he’d buried himself in work, which earned him three promotions.

  He had money.

  He had success.

  He didn’t have Grace.

  He had Rebecca.

  She never once complained about his work schedule, maybe because she also had a busy schedule. She attended his holiday party and executive dinners, and she never insisted on staying at his place when she wasn’t asked. It was an understanding they had, although she wasn’t happy about it. She didn’t push though, which he appreciated. She remained patient, his amiable companion. She knew about Grace and the hole her loss had chiseled in his heart. They didn’t fight. He wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or bad though, but now, it was time he was there for her.

  Looking up from the phone briefly before typing out the text, his gaze landed on a woman not ten feet from him. The sidewalk was crowded, people passing between them. He saw her though. She appeared like a ghost from years past, and in a blink, she had disappeared, lost in the bustling crowd.

  He could swear on his life he’d seen her. But his body was sluggish, stunned even, so he stood there turning in a slow circle looking to where she could have vanished. Desperate, he looked for the angelic face framed by the long dark hair that he remembered so well. But, like a flash of lightning, she was gone. Without a trace. Again? How was that possible?

  He struggled to move, willing images of her to help him, to soothe him, to guide him back to reality.

  His phone rang and without thinking, he answered, “Hello.”

  “Hey, honey, you were supposed to get back to me earlier in case I needed to change my RSVP.” Rebecca. Always cheerful. He could feel her smile through the phone. Did it ever frustrate her that sometimes their calls only consisted of appointment reminders?

  “Oh, um . . .” He couldn’t find the words he needed, not presently in the conversation. Grace. Grace was all he could think about. He started running in the direction he had seen her.

  “Benjamin?”

  The call became an afterthought as he ran, not thinking about anything but his Grace, focused on finding her again. He couldn’t let her get away, not this time. If it was her, he had to find her. He had to try. He stopped at the exact spot where he originally saw her walking, but it was a corner where she could’ve easily gone in any one of four directions. He ran one block up and searched. Picking up his pace and using all his strength, he ran in the opposite direction. After covering the cross street, he fell to his knees, winded and heartbroken all over again. His hands squeezed at the cramps piercing his side as tears stung his eyes.

  Life tortured his battered soul relentlessly. Every time he thought he could move on, he was dragged back into the hell of his past. His delusions of seeing her had gotten the best of him too many times. As he bent forward, his breathing came in gasps, needing air. He wasn’t out of breath. He was out of hope. He wanted the nightmare to end. He looked around one last time, realizing if she had been real, he’d lost her. Again.

  Ambling to his feet, he staggered to the closest brick wall, using it for support. His phone rang, bringing him back into the present. “This is my existence. This is my life now,” he said quietly to himself, reminding himself to find acceptance with reality. Grace was gone.

  Grace was gone.

  He reached into his pocket to grab the phone, but before he had a chance to say anything, he realized the call had been accidentally answered and heard, “Benjamin? Benjamin, what are you doing? Did you hang up on me?”

  After exhaling a deep breath, he started to explain, “I’m sorry, Rebecca . . . I had . . . I saw . . . I thought—”

  “Are you okay? I was worried. Why didn’t you answer my calls?”

  “Your calls?”

  “I called you back three times.”

  “Oh . . .” He couldn’t tell her he was running down the street, looking for a ghost who’d disappeared off the face of the earth three long years ago. Ben knew that would upset her, and he’d never intentionally hurt her. He gave her the news she’d been hoping for. “I can go to the awards dinner. I rearranged some stuff to make it work.”

  “Really? You’re coming?”

  “Yes, I’m looking forward to it.” Trying to act normal, he felt anything but that right then. He was still winded and couldn’t stop scanning his surroundings, just in case.

  Rebecca was called to an emergency, and Ben walked home in a daze, his mind disappearing into what could have happened three years ago. Without any answers or clues, he couldn’t heal much less ever move on, despite wishing he could put it all behind him. His family told him he was too young to waste his life searching for someone that was gone forever. Grace’s family had said the same. It pained them to do so, but they did. Ben knew it was for his benefit, and they only wanted something good to come from this tragedy, but how do you forget about a heart that once beat so loudly? Most days his chest felt vacant, but sometimes, like today, it thrummed, giving him a taste of what it once was and what could have been.

  As soon as he entered his apartment, every emotion he’d buried came rushing back. Here, in the solace of this place, he could peel the layers of lies away and be who he felt on the inside. Here, he could break down or feed the beast that craved more memories of the past. Here, he could mourn and grieve.

  Sitting at the computer, he pulled up the file labeled “Grace” and stared. Tonight he would indulge the cravings never truly satisfied. He would give in because when he had episodes of hope tease him, he was too weak to stay away. Reaching up, he touched the screen as if touching her face again.

  The photo was his favorite, his Achilles heel. Grace had never been more beautiful than the day they got engaged. Her smile lived in her eyes, love rested on her lips, waiting to give it away. Ben used to drink her up, savor her laughter, and wrap his body around hers to lose himself, entangling his soul with hers.

  “Fuck.” His head dropped in shame, his chin hitting his chest. The same questions still plagued him years later—What happened to her and why couldn’t I save her?

  Clicking to the next photo, he stared at the picture of the two of them on her twenty-first birthday. He towered over her by then. Caught on camera looking at each other and laughing, living in the moment—he loved this photo too. It could be said, he loved every photo he had of her and had memorized every detail. The evening drifted away as he got lost in a life that had become his past. His torture.

  “Benjamin?” Rebecca’s voice came from behind.

  Quickly hitting the escape button, he tried to cover what he was doing. As casually as he could, he responded, “Hey there.”

  He smiled while walking over to her, hoping to redirect her attention from the computer screen. He didn’t like worrying her and could tell by her tone she was. She deserved so much better than him. Despite his gratefulness, he wasn’t sure why she stayed with him. He could only ever give her half the man he was. She had more access to his apartment than to his heart. The key to the apartment was a consolation prize, a distraction to a conversation she wanted to have about his real feelings, a drunken discussion that had become sexual. He’d thought he was ready for something physical, ready for a connection with someone again. He hadn’t been and the key to his place was offered. The key to his heart would forever remain locked, as half his soul was missing with Grace.

  Reaching up, she rubbed his shoulders, easing the tension collected in his muscles. “Are you all right? You had me worried earlier.” Her eyes flickered to the desk whe
re the computer was. “And now.” Concern coated each word.

  Months ago, he had reassured her that he had stopped looking at those photos, and had promised to put more effort into their relationship. He thought they had made progress as a couple, but something inside him never allowed him to stop looking, to stop thinking about his missing fiancée. He couldn’t let Grace go. He knew Rebecca would be disappointed and hurt, catching him doing this again, so he tried to cover his actions by pulling her into a hug. “I’m good. Are you off for the night?”

  “Yes,” she replied dubiously.

  From her one-word answer, he knew she was mad. After a sweet kiss to the cheek, he tried to sway her mood. “You want to grab something to eat?”

  “Sure.” The word was tainted in uncertainty, maybe more in disbelief.

  He had to be better. Ben had to try harder. “I’ll just change out of my work clothes.” He walked into the bedroom and closed the door. Leaning against it, he closed his eyes and vowed to end this insanity.

  Once and for all.

  To continue this story, CLICK HERE

  About the Author

  For more information on New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author, S. L. Scott:

  Visit her website www.slscottauthor.com

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  Living in the capital of Texas with her family, Scott loves traveling and avocados, beaches, and cooking with her kids. She's obsessed with epic romances and loves a good plot twist. Her favorite color is blue, but she likens it more toward the sky than the emotion. Her home is filled with the welcoming symbol of the pineapple and finds surfing a challenge though she likes to think she's a pro.

  www.slscottauthor.com

  On a Personal Note

  Thank you for taking this publishing roller coaster ride with me. Your support has truly made a difference in my life. Thank you!

  Thank you to my amazing husband and kids for always being there for me, for supporting the LONG hours, and for loving me endlessly. You are dream supporters, encouragers, and truly the loves of my life.

  I have an awesome family that I am grateful for every day even when we’re far away. Thank you for loving me across the miles. You’re presence is always in my heart. XOX

  My team of awesome. Thank you is not enough, but I’m giving it with a huge helping of love as well. Adriana, Amy, Andrea J., Annette, Flavia, Heather M., Irene, Jennifer S., Jessica H., Karen, Kerri, Kirsten, Kristen, Liv, Lynsey, Marion, Marla, Melissa K., Ruth, and Serena.

  Sweet Scotties and Spoiler Group Girls - I adore you. You are amazing and make me smile all the time. Thank you for being active in there and so awesome!

  Also by S.L. SCOTT

  The Kingwood Duet

  SAVAGE

  SAVIOR

  Hard to Resist Series

  The Resistance

  The Reckoning

  The Redemption

  The Revolution

  The Rebellion

  Talk to Me Duet

  Sweet Talk

  Dirty Talk

  Welcome to Paradise Series

  Good Vibrations

  Good Intentions

  Good Sensations

  Happy Endings

  Welcome to Paradise Series Set

  From the Inside Out Series

  Scorned

  Jealousy

  Dylan

  Austin

  From the Inside Out Compilation

  The Kingwood Duet

  Savage

  Savior

  Stand Alone Books

  Missing Grace

  Until I Met You

  Naturally, Charlie

  A Prior Engagement

  Lost in Translation

  Sleeping with Mr. Sexy

  Morning Glory

  To keep up to date with her writing and more, her website is www.slscottauthor.comor to receive her newsletter with all of her publishing adventures and giveaways, sign up for her newsletter: http://bit.ly/1pF049r

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