Healing Fears (Smokey Mountain Book 3)

by Stella Moore

  “Thanks, man. I just need to know she’s safe.”

  “You tried calling her?” Jack asked.

  “Yeah. Straight to voicemail.”

  “Shit. Okay. Let me call in some favors.” Pulling out his phone, he stepped outside.

  “He’ll find her, man,” Eric said, clapping a hand on Paul’s shoulder.

  “Could we have a moment?” Melissa asked quietly, looking from Penny to Eric.

  “Sure,” Eric said, pulling Penny to her feet before she could protest. “We need to have a talk, anyway.” With that, he pulled a sputtering Penny towards the back of the house.

  “How are you?”

  Paul rubbed his hands over his face. “I don’t know. I’d feel better if I just knew where she was. Or at least that she’s safe.”

  “Jack will find her. If he tells you where she is, will you go to her?”

  “Should I?”

  Melissa glanced over her shoulder, and Paul wondered if she was looking for Jack. He’d heard about Jack’s objections to her ‘interfering’ with him and Elisa, but he didn’t care. He needed advice. “I think maybe a few days apart couldn’t hurt, but if she doesn’t come home soon, you should go to her. Have you two been to Dr. Johansson yet?”

  “Who?”

  Melissa sighed and shook her head, then dug into her purse and pulled out a business card. “Call him. First thing tomorrow. See him before you see Elisa again. He’ll help you figure things out.”

  He took the card and studied it for a moment before looking up at her again. “Can I ask you something?”

  She smiled, and he could see why her patients trusted her. “Of course.”

  “How do you reconcile this,” he gestured vaguely, “with being a doctor? You’re supposed to help people.”

  “I do help people. I know you’re struggling right now, but a lot of people benefit from these types of relationships. Submissives and dominants alike can flourish in a loving, safe relationship. A little spanking never hurt anyone,” she added with a wink.

  “Maybe you’re right,” he muttered, and her soft, professional smile spread to a grin.

  “Of course I’m right. Who’s the doctor here?” Patting his knee in an almost maternal gesture, she rose. “I’ll tell Penny and Eric it’s safe to come out now. Call me if you need to talk.”

  When Penny and Eric were ushered back in, Penny was much more subdued. Bright color rode high on her cheeks, and he couldn’t help the curiosity that snuck in. He would have heard if Eric had spanked her, so he wondered what had happened in the guest bedroom.

  Penny must have seen it on his face, because the color in her cheeks darkened. “I really, really hate the corner,” was all she said before wrapping her arms around his neck. “Sorry for being a brat. I’m worried about her too.”

  “I know you are. You’ll tell me if she calls you?”

  “Immediately. I love you.”

  “Love you too, brat.”

  She was grinning when she pulled away and linked hands with an unusually sober Eric, who gave him a long look. “We’ll find her. And you’re going to see that doctor and get your head straightened out, so you can deal with this properly. Got it?”

  The knot that had been in his stomach since Elisa had left began to loosen. He grinned at the man who’d become like a brother to him. “Got it. Take your woman home and deal with her.”

  Eric tugged a pouting Penny towards the front door. “Gladly. Let us know if you hear from her.”

  With that, he was alone again. He tried calling Elisa again, and ended up leaving her a voicemail asking her to at least call and let him know she was all right. It was midnight before he heard from her, and all he got was a text simply reading: I’m safe. Call soon.

  He wrestled with his response for a few minutes before simply settling on: Good. I love you, little bird.

  He fell asleep on the couch waiting for her reply.

  Chapter 29

  When Paul woke the next morning, Elisa still hadn’t responded. Frustrated, and well on his way to pissed, he called the number Melissa had left for him. She must have paved the way for him, because he was able to get an appointment that morning. He had just enough time to shower and change before heading out.

  He’d never been to Melissa’s office, so he wasn’t sure what to expect at Dr. Johansson’s. It certainly wasn’t deep, comfortable chairs and couches in a rich, chocolate leather. Or complimentary coffee that tasted like it had been brewed with the tears of a unicorn. He wondered, briefly, how much this visit was going to cost him.

  When it was his turn, he was ushered into an equally comfortable, soothing room where he was greeted by a short, stocky man with an impressive mane of grey hair. The man gave him that same smile he’d seen on Melissa’s face and held out a hand. “I’m Dr. Johansson. You must be Paul.”

  “Yes. Thanks for seeing me on such short notice.” After a brief handshake, the doctor gestured to—of course—a couch. Paul took a seat.

  “So, what brings you to my office today?”

  Paul’s hands were suddenly slick with sweat, and he barely resisted the urge to rub them on his jeans. “How much did Melissa tell you?”

  Dr. Johansson grinned, and the warmth in the gesture helped Paul relax a bit. “Not much. Just that you’re a very dear friend who’s struggling with some things. I got the distinct impression she was instructed not to divulge much more than that.”

  “And how do you, as a doctor, feel about that?” Paul asked.

  “About what, exactly?”

  “Jack telling Melissa what to do.”

  Dr. Johansson raised an eyebrow, the only outward show of emotion Paul could detect. “I think it’s wonderful she’s found someone who complements her so well. I can’t say much more than that, I’m afraid. But I think I’m beginning to see the issue. You’re having doubts about your role in your marriage.”

  Paul shrugged, annoyed with himself for being such a coward. He was here to fix his marriage, and that wouldn’t happen if he couldn’t or wouldn’t open up a bit. “Yeah, I guess that’s one way to put it. I’m just-—I’m struggling to see the difference between how I treat my wife, and abuse.”

  “Do you have her consent?”

  “I guess. I mean, we never really talked about it. We were both pretty young when we got together. Still kids, really. But yesterday she practically begged me to punish her.”

  “And is she allowed to have friends of her own choosing? Contact with her friends and family without your supervision?”

  Paul narrowed his eyes at the doctor. “Of course. What are you getting at?”

  “There are many things that distinguish dominance from abuse. We could go through them, step by step, but I have a feeling I know where you’d fall. You’re not an abuser, Paul. If you were, you wouldn’t be in my office agonizing over it. I’m curious what makes you think you are.”

  Paul stared down at his linked fingers for a long while before answering. “Elisa and I have this friend. A girl we’ve known for years. Well Elisa’s known her all their lives. I’ve known her since I was eleven. She met this guy, right out of college. Fell for him, hard. He… Jesus.” He scrubbed his hands over his face, battling back the emotions raging inside of him. “He destroyed her. I never really knew the details, I just knew she was terrified of him. He came back around recently, started messing with her again. He kidnapped her, and probably would have tortured her if she hadn’t escaped. Anyway, there was a trial. I was there for some of it, and it made me sick, physically sick to think about the way he’d hurt her. And Melissa’s testimony got me thinking about some things.”

  “Such as?”

  “How I never really got Elisa’s consent, like I said earlier. And the longer the trial went on, the more of myself I saw in him. I’d have these dreams, nightmares I guess, where I’d see the fear on Penny’s face when she left him and then when he started stalking her. And she’d slowly turn into Elisa, only she was afraid of me, and it just killed me
.”

  “How is Penny now?”

  He thought of the way her face lit up whenever Eric walked in the room. The way Eric practically worshipped the ground she walked on. “She’s good. Better than good. She’s dating a friend of mine and they’re stupid in love.”

  “And this friend, he’s not a dominant? Doesn’t punish her?”

  Paul shifted uncomfortably. He’d walked right into that. “He is. And he does.”

  Dr. Johansson’s lips titled up at the corners, just slightly. “Do you think he’s abusing her?”

  Paul sighed. “No. He’d cut his own arm off before he hurt her.”

  “So maybe you’ve been comparing yourself to the wrong man.”

  It was so simple. So ridiculously, maddeningly simple, he couldn’t bring himself to outright agree. “Maybe you’re right.”

  “You want my recommendation?”

  “Of course. Pretty sure I’m paying a year’s salary for it, so go ahead.”

  “Actually, this one is on me. A favor for the lovely Melissa. As I was saying,” he plowed ahead before Paul could voice his protest, “I suggest you talk to your wife. Take some time, maybe a weekend, to re-evaluate the terms of your relationship. Ask her how she feels about being disciplined, and actually listen to what she has to say. That way, you know she’s on board, one hundred percent. It should help you both.”

  Paul considered the advice as he drove home. He knew Eric was a good man. Jack, too. And Penny was happier than she’d been in years. She wasn’t afraid of Eric, even when he threatened to bust her ass, and God knew that happened on a regular basis. Then there was Melissa, who was a brilliant doctor, and she’d actually asked Jack to discipline her.

  So he’d talk to his wife, and figure out how she really felt about it, once and for all. And then, if she agreed to go back to the way things were, he was going to make sure she didn’t sit comfortably for a week.

  Chapter 30

  Elisa was dozing by the side of the pool when her phone rang. She’d made it to Florida in record time, stopping for cat naps along the way and then crashing hard at her hotel at nearly two in the morning. Pulling the phone out of her back, her stomach clenched when she saw Paul’s name on the display.

  Her finger hovered over the decline button, but she changed her mind at the last second and hit accept. “Hi,” she answered quietly.

  “Hi yourself, little bird.” He didn’t sound angry, and she didn’t know whether to be relieved or pissed about it. “Are you okay? Where are you?”

  Not angry, but at least concerned, which helped push her towards relieved. “I’m okay. How are you?” She deliberately ignored the question regarding her whereabouts, as she wasn’t quite ready to be found yet.

  “Better. I went to Dr. Johansson today.”

  She wasn’t sure anything he could have said would have shocked her more. “You what?”

  “You heard me. Elisa, we need to talk.”

  It felt like the entire US women’s gymnastics team was doing floor work in her stomach. “We talked yesterday.” God had it only been yesterday?

  “Elisa Marie Davenport.” The use of her full name, combined with the strict tone, sent a shiver down her spine. “We are going to talk, in person. I’m going to rent a cabin and text you the information. You have twenty-four hours to get your pretty little bottom to said cabin. Do not make me come looking for you. Understood?”

  This was the Paul she remembered. The man she’d fallen head over heels in love with. Hope fluttered in her chest, and she found herself grinning like an idiot. “Yes, sir.”

  “Good. I’ll see you soon, then. I love you, little bird.”

  “I love you too, old man.”

  He laughed, and hope soared as she ran to check out of her hotel.

  She drove straight through, and wouldn’t have stopped if her car hadn’t needed gas. She stopped for the night at a little hotel just outside Gatlinburg, where Paul had rented the cabin. She was anxious to see her husband, but she wanted to be rested and clear minded for their big talk.

  The next morning, she drove to the cabin with her heart hammering in her chest. “Paul?” she called, walking in the front door.

  He walked out of the bedroom, and it was like her soul lit up inside of her. Dropping her bags by the door, she raced to him, wrapping her arms and legs around him. “I’m sorry. I love you. I’m sorry.”

  “Me too, baby. I missed you so much.”

  “Are we okay?” she asked, too frightened to look him in the eyes.

  “I think we will be. But we need to talk. And then, depending on how our talk goes, we may need to have a very long discussion.”

  “You know, suddenly I’m totally on board with you not spanking me.”

  “Well, we can talk about that,” Paul said, setting her on her feet in front of him. “Are you hungry?”

  She shook her head. “Too nervous to eat. Can we just talk, please?”

  “Okay.” Taking her hand, he led her out onto the back deck, and they stretched out on the Adirondack chairs. The silence between them stretched, and Elisa was ready to snap before Paul spoke again. “How do you feel about me punishing you? And I want an honest, serious answer, little bird.”

  He’d never asked her that before, and Elisa realized it was something she’d never really considered. “I don’t know,” she answered honestly. “Why?”

  “I need to know so we can decide how to move forward. If it’s just something you tolerate because I never gave you a choice, we can stop. But if it’s something you honestly feel like you benefit from, we can continue.”

  She thought about it for a moment. “It’s a bit of both, really. You never asked me what I wanted, but I could have walked away. I wasn’t trapped or held hostage. I willingly submitted to you. Melissa asked me to think about why, and I have been. A lot.”

  “Did you find your answer?”

  “I did.” She threaded her fingers through his, and smiled up at him. “It’s because I trust you. I always have, from the moment we said Go on this little adventure of ours. I love you, and I trust you to do the right thing. For me, for yourself, for our relationship. So I was willing to follow your lead, because I knew I could count on you. And there was this incredible safety in knowing that if I screwed it up, it was okay, because you knew how to handle it.”

  “Whoa.” Paul blew out a breath. “I don’t know what to say.”

  Needing the contact, she climbed into his lap and rested her head on his shoulder. “Just say you still love me. And then teach me a lesson I’ll never forget.”

  “Are you sure, Elisa? If we go back to the way things were, there’s no going back. And the punishment you have coming isn’t going to be easy.”

  “I’ve never been so sure of anything in my entire life.”

  “Okay then. I love you. There’s nothing you could ever do to change that. Now go find an empty corner in the bedroom and wait for me.”

  Chapter 31

  The weight she’d been carrying around her heart lifted, and she practically ran to the bedroom. Stripping from the waist down, she moved a plant out of a corner and stood facing the wall with her hands behind her back. For once, she didn’t have to think about why she was there, or get in the right headspace for a punishment. She knew exactly why she was being punished, and she was almost looking forward to it. At the very least, she was fully prepared to accept whatever he wanted to dish out.

  His presence filled the room as soon as he walked in. Every fiber of her being called out to him, and she had to fight the urge to run to his arms.

  “Come here, Elisa.”

  Words she’d heard a hundred times before, and yet they still had her stomach twisting into knots. Turning away from the wall, she walked over to where he was seated on the bed. Standing in front of him, half naked and waiting to get her butt busted, she couldn’t seem to stop the giggle that escaped.

  “Care to share with the class, young lady?”

  The slight amusement in hi
s tone did nothing to soften the steel underneath. Elisa immediately sobered and shook her head. “No, sir.”

  “I didn’t think so. Why are you about to get a spanking?”

  “Because I disobeyed you. And I tried to bait you into punishing me, for my own selfish reasons. Would it help if I said I’m sorry?”

  “It helps. But it doesn’t change the fact that you’re going to have a very sore bottom by the time I’m through with you.” He parted his legs and patted his left knee. “Over.”

  Taking a deep breath, she lowered herself over his knee, bracing her hands on the floor while he locked his right leg over hers. “I love you, Elisa. I’ve loved you for so long, I don’t even remember what it was like not to love you.” With that, his hand cracked against her bottom, and she jerked over his knee at the sharp, sudden sting.

  She made it through the first dozen or so swats without a sound. But when his hand slammed into the sensitive crease where her bottom met her thighs, she began to break. “Ow! Not so hard!”

  His response was to spank harder, and faster. She wanted to lay still and accept her spanking, so that maybe he wouldn’t feel so bad, but the burn was more than she could stand. She began to buck over his knee, seeking relief from the sting of his hand on her bare skin.

  “Paul, please! It hurts!”

  “Does it? Good.” He focused on one spot until it felt like he was holding a lighter to her skin, then switched to the same spot on the opposite cheek. When it was over, she let out a sigh of relief.

  “Back to the corner, little bird. Ten more minutes.”

  “What? No!”

  “That’s two with the cane. Every time you argue with me, I’ll double it. Corner. Now.”

  Pushing herself off his lap, she hurried to the corner. He’d only used the cane a handful of times and she was not looking forward to experiencing it again.