Reckless Hearts Series, Book 1

by Heather Van Fleet

“Well, I…” Lia’s cheeks uncharacteristically turned red as Max held her face between his hands.

  “And this is why you are gonna be the death of me.” He kissed her on the forehead, like Collin kissed me. It seemed to mean nothing to Max as he leaned back in the seat, but Lia sat there stone-still on his lap, eyes wide as she stared at the floor.

  I narrowed my eyes, catching her gaze as she stood to head to the bathroom a minute or so later. Her gaze said, Don’t ask, but the questions in my mind were scrambling like mad.

  A half hour later, Chloe was tucked into her crib, asleep, and Collin and I were on the road.

  Collin tapped his thumbs against the wheel to the beat of the music on the radio, Christmas music already jingling away. A light dusting of snow fell from the sky, hitting the window like tiny crystals.

  As much as I appreciated the fact that he’d agreed to this farce of a trip, I couldn’t help but wonder if it was a mistake. It was seven thirty on Thanksgiving night, so the chances of either of my parents being there were slim to none. Likely it would be one of the people they’d hired since I left, or possibly my dad’s cousin, who occasionally filled in when need be. Still, just going into their territory felt like I was stepping onto a battlefield.

  Is this what Collin felt like when he was still enlisted? Or stuck in the bunkers of Iraq, waiting for the next IED to explode?

  “Your hands are shaking.”

  I gave my head a fast jerk and beamed over at him, the fakeness of the smile hurting my cheeks. “Thinking maybe I had too much caffeine today or something.”

  “You sure?” He arched a brow. The fact he could already read me so well should’ve been scary. But it wasn’t. Instead, it was comforting to have someone in my life like this.

  “Yes, sirree.” And what was I, twelve?

  Hands moving over the top of the wheel, Collin stayed quiet as he pulled his truck into the lot a little while later. By then, my knees were bouncing in place and I had the window partially rolled down, face held close to it like a dog.

  “Addison.”

  “Hmm?” I searched the parking lot for my parents’ car even though, after seven years, they probably had a new one.

  “Talk to me.”

  “I just really want that dessert, and—”

  “No. That’s not it.” He pulled my face toward his and frowned. “If you wanted this dessert, you would have made it already, especially if it’s some sort of a tradition for you.”

  “Not true. But would you believe me if I told you I don’t remember how to make it and they have the recipe at this store?” I bit my lip, my excuses lamer than lame.

  He sighed. “Knew you weren’t telling me the truth the second you asked. But I didn’t wanna upset you when we’ve had such a good day.” He cupped my cheek, leaning forward. “You being at my place with my daughter, my sister, my best friends”—half of his mouth curled up into an alluring grin—“made this day damn near extraordinary.”

  “Yeah?” My stomach dipped in the best possible way.

  “Yeah, sweetheart.” He rubbed his thumb along my cheek. “Plus, there is no way this hole-in-the-wall convenience store will have duck eggs.”

  “Hole-in-the-wall?” What did he mean by…? I turned my head to face the store and gasped.

  One glass window was boarded up, and the white frame hugging the door hung loose on the right side. Over the top of the door, the B was burned out in the dilapidated Booker’s Meat Market sign, and the trash barrel out front overflowed with God only knew what.

  “Oh hell.” My throat grew dry, my chest aching. Blindly, I reached for the door handle, scrambling to get it open, panic as thick as chewing gum stuck in my throat. I stepped out of the truck and didn’t glance back as I darted across the parking lot toward the store.

  This…this wasn’t right. This…this…

  “Addie?” A hand pressed against my shoulder, another around my waist. I wondered if fate had finally gone and ruined me after all.

  “This is my parents’ store.” The words were a whisper, my lungs stinging as I tried to breathe.

  Memories bombarded me.

  Mom kicking me outside to color with chalk on the sidewalk when I was ten.

  Dad firing up his grill in the parking lot, selling Mom’s egg rolls for the lunch crowd.

  Selling soda cans and lemonade for a quarter on the side to make money so I could buy gum balls at the candy store down the street.

  “Let’s go inside. Do what you came here to do, okay?”

  “I’m not sure if I can.”

  Collin moved to stand in front of me, crouching down a bit so his face met mine. “Not sure what’s brought this on, or what this place even means to you, but something tells me if you don’t go in now, you might not go in again.”

  My lips quivered. This beautiful, stubborn, cocky, know-it-all man understood exactly what to say and when to say it.

  “W-will you go with me?”

  He used his index finger to wipe the tears away from my cheeks. “Wouldn’t let you go in there without me.”

  Chest tight, I grabbed one of his hands and interlocked our fingers. Moving to my side, he motioned for me to go first. Knowing it was time, I reached for the old door, ignoring the foghorn-type warning going off inside my brain.

  Seven years. Seven long, lonely years. That’s how long it’d been since I last set foot inside this store. Turning back wasn’t an option, but neither was stepping through that door, not when my heavy feet felt like they were glued to the sidewalk. But then something magical happened. Collin squeezed my fingers and pulled me along behind him. And that’s all it took for me to take those final steps.

  A bell clanked against the door, and I jumped. Collin laughed softly and urged me on with his chin. In and out I attempted to breathe as I stepped inside…and ran straight into an unfamiliar man.

  “We close in five minutes.”

  “We just need one thing,” Collin interjected, the sound a warning.

  The man with a unibrow and an accent straight out of Germany glared back and forth between us but made no move to stop us. When had my parents hired this guy? And close at eight? Since when? One of the last pieces of advice I’d given my parents was to run a normal seven-to-seven shift. Most of the nearby small stores did. But Mom was money hungry and thought the night crowd would bring in the most cash with their booze buying and whatnot.

  “Get what you need, and let’s get home,” Collin grumbled, letting go of my hand to press against the small of my back. “I’m thinking we’re not wanted here.”

  My lips parted. More than anything, I wanted to tell him this was a safe store, a safe neighborhood too. I used to sleep on the cot in the back room some nights when I was younger and my parents had to do the night shift. But he was right. Something was off. Something wasn’t what it used to be.

  “I just… I need to see the back of the store for a second.”

  “The back?”

  I nodded. “Yeah…th-that’s where they keep the duck eggs.”

  Down one aisle, then a right, then another left and we’d be there, at the cooler filled with the eggs, next to the meat counter with my dad’s handwritten signs, all telling the prices per pound.

  Only what I found instead was one giant wall of floor-to-ceiling coolers, all filled with beer. Wine. Wine coolers.

  “Addison?”

  I turned to my right, thinking I’d missed something but finding another cooler.

  “Hey, let’s—”

  “Where is it?” I growled and turned to my left. Another cooler, this one filled with milk and juice and pop and…not meat. Not cheese. Not duck eggs. There was nothing reminding me of Booker’s. Nothing reminding me of my parents.

  “Addie. Talk to me.”

  “I…” Not wasting another second, I pushed past Collin and took off t
oward the front of the store. At the view, I stumbled back. The once-open cashier space was blocked by bulletproof glass and bars. How had I not noticed this when we walked in?

  “Who are you?” I asked the man.

  “Who are you?” he asked, his white eyebrows pushed together.

  “Where are Rose and Robert Booker?”

  “Who?” The man looked from me to Collin, who had moved to stand next to me.

  “Addison, come on. Let’s go.” Collin’s voice was soft, placating even. I jerked out of his hold.

  “No. I need to know.” I approached the man, pressing my hands on the counter. “Where are the Bookers? The old owners of this…” What was this place now? A liquor store? Convenience store? A hole-in-the-wall just like Collin had called it?

  “I do not know. This is my brother’s business. His name is So.”

  I laughed, the sound sarcastic, edgy, impatient. “You’re telling me the owner, the guy who now runs this place, is named So?”

  “That is what I am telling you. Now leave. I am closing the store so I can go home and be with my family.”

  “No,” I whispered. “They sold it.” Ugly tears ran down my face, yet I couldn’t find the energy to wipe them away. “They sold it…” I gripped the back of my hair and turned toward Collin, willing him to understand, only to see pity and confusion in his eyes instead.

  I hated pity.

  “Addison.” Collin moved closer, reaching for my hand. At the last minute, I pulled it away and ran for the door. In the parking lot, he called my name, but I shook my head and said, “I can’t be here.”

  My vision blurred as I charged toward his truck, stopping when I realized he’d locked the doors and I couldn’t get in.

  I settled my head against the cold window and squeezed my eyes shut to curb my angry tears. In a way, I’d known this would happen, but I still couldn’t help but curse myself for thinking that they would have cared enough to tell me they’d sold the store. My father was a selfish man, and when he didn’t get his way, he made sure to hurt the person who wouldn’t let that happen. Like a child, that’s what he was—a spoiled, pretentious child. To him, I was nothing but the extra baggage who came along with his mail-order bride. Add that I didn’t bow down to his whims like my mother did or follow the career path he wanted me to, and I was all but dead to him.

  “Will you talk to me now?” There wasn’t a lick of hesitation in Collin’s voice as he spun me around and hugged me to his chest. “Don’t do well without words, Addie. I’m not a mind reader, never have been.”

  My shoulders shook as I sobbed. Every second longer he spoke, my body broke down, his arms the only thing holding me up.

  “I know you’ve got secrets. Hell, we all do, baby. Nobody wants to share them. It’s human nature to lock all the bad inside.”

  My heart skipped at his words, the feeling of shame washing over me.

  “What I do know is that it’s better if you talk about the bad shit, especially to someone who’s willing to do absolutely anything to make your pain go away.”

  My chest grew tight. The intensity, the fear, the purpose, the willingness…those things were all I could see, taste, want, desire. And they were all there on Collin’s face when I finally pulled back to look him in the eyes.

  No, I wasn’t ready to talk about my family—not sure if I ever would be—but I was ready for more. With Collin.

  With no thoughts of my family, their betrayal, and my loss, I let the rightness of Collin take over and pressed my lips to his.

  Collin was my more.

  Chapter 28

  Collin

  I’d been kissed before, more times than I could count. But with this much desperation? This much need? Hell no. Not ever.

  “Let’s get in the truck,” she whispered against my neck, biting down on the tip of my ear with enough force to send my cock into my zipper.

  Somehow, in the dingy parking lot of this run-down convenience store, I’d wound up with this gorgeous woman pressed against the hood of my truck, hands beneath her shirt, cupping her breasts, and asking for things I wasn’t sure she was ready to give—even if I knew I was ready to give them to her.

  I pulled back, hating the distance. Knowing at the same time I had to be the one to put it there. “Tell me what you want. Meant it when I said I couldn’t read people real well.”

  Chest moving fast, she lowered her hand and cupped my dick.

  “Fuck, baby.” I shuddered as she ran her palm over the zipper. Unlike the last time, her hands weren’t shaking. There was no confusion in her eyes either. Just heat and need and the same desire I’d felt for her since the night we’d first met.

  With a sort of strength only a priest could maintain, I pulled away and let her go.

  “Come on.” I took a step back, unable to look into her eyes.

  At her side of the truck, I opened the door and shooed her in. She lowered her chin, probably thinking the worst of me when really all I wanted to do was strip her down right here in the cab.

  Tipping her chin up, I whispered, “Not gonna make our first time happen in a parking lot. It’s not right.”

  “Collin, I don’t care where—”

  “Said no, Addison. Now get in the truck before I lose my mind.”

  My throat burned like a fire poker was shoved down inside it, especially when she batted those big, soulful eyes at me. No way did I want to be an asshole, but this beautiful woman was emotional, obviously broken over something, and definitely not thinking straight. Sex right here was the last thing she needed. And because I respected her—who she was and her feelings—I did what she couldn’t and said no. She’d change her mind anyway once we left this lot and whatever memories were eating her up.

  What I wanted to do first was hear about those memories and see if she could at least give me a little insight on what caused her emotional meltdown.

  After I drove out of the lot, I kept my eyes on the road ahead. “You ready to talk to me?”

  “I don’t want—”

  “Wrong answer.”

  She sighed and sank lower in her seat, giving me nothing more than her stoic profile and an occasional sniffle along the way back to Carinthia. Hated her quiet more than anything. Hated losing her smile, her laugh, and even her goofy-ass jokes. Part of me thought maybe being in the truck like this would give her the chance to think and talk to me, but when I pulled up to the rugby field no more than twenty minutes later, she still hadn’t said squat.

  Other than a couple of streetlights off on the side road, the place was pitch-black. Thick cornfields lined the left side, while on the right sat a playground. Knowing I needed to let Max in on what was happening, I pulled out my phone and sent him a quick text, making sure Chloe was covered.

  A few seconds later, I was out of the truck, after grabbing the blanket in the cab. Lips parted in a tiny O, Addie stared up at me as I leaned against the frame of her opened door a second later. Instead of coming right out and asking what was really wrong, this time I studied her pretty face, waiting to see if she went first. Of course she didn’t even move, so I rolled my eyes and wrapped my arm around her waist, carrying her fireman’s style toward midfield.

  After a couple of slaps along my shoulder blades, I couldn’t help but smile in success as I set her on her feet.

  “Why did you bring me here?” She straightened her sweater out and then folded her arms across her chest.

  All the earlier heat and need I’d seen in her eyes were gone, replaced with a familiar brokenness I still saw in my own reflection some days.

  “Brought you here to show you this.” I lifted my hand up toward the sky, letting the stars speak for themselves.

  “It’s beautiful.” Loved that sound—the breathiness in her words. So open and raw and real.

  “Something about being out here at night makes all the bad
shit in life go extinct, even if it’s only temporary, ya know? Figured I’d share it with you.” I cleared my throat and tossed the blanket onto the ground, face going hot at my sentimental bullshit.

  When I was done, I looked at her again, meeting her gaze and finding her eyes softer than before, her shoulders relaxed. The snow had stopped, and a soft layer surrounded us on the grass. But the blanket was thick, so she’d be safe from getting wet. Plus, I’d do everything possible to keep her warm.

  “Sit.” I pointed at the blanket.

  “Here?”

  I nodded.

  “But—”

  Groaning, I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her down sideways onto my lap. She squealed, all crazy-like, until I settled her against my chest and draped my right arm across her back.

  With a big sigh, she relaxed against me. Her hair tickled my chin, while the scent of her shampoo put me into a state of oblivion with only Addie on my mind.

  “The airport landing strip’s about two miles to our west.” I pointed at the lights flashing on the small runway in the distance.

  “I didn’t think something so simple would be so beautiful.”

  Nothing was more beautiful than the woman in my arms. But spouting that line would be like chopping my dick in half, so I’d have to settle for keeping my thoughts inside for now.

  “You ready to talk yet?”

  She shook her head again, a slow movement against my chest.

  “Someday then.”

  “Someday soon, I promise. I just… This is too perfect to ruin.” The promise of her sticking around long enough to tell me the truth was enough for me.

  “Wanna know another reason I brought you out here?” I sat up a little straighter, and she followed suit. With my finger, I tipped her head toward mine and brushed my nose up and down over her cold cheek. Her breath grew heavier, fogging up the air around her lips.

  “Why?”

  Slowly, I tucked my hand up under her shirt and spread it across her spine. “So I could kiss you without sharing it with the world.”

  She groaned, leaving me unsure whether it was because my hand was moving higher, trailing a line under her bra strap, or because I’d irritated her. Either way, I was fine with it because it meant her mind was already clearing.