“Yeah. Dinner, then we talk.”
“About…?” I bit my lip.
“Us.”
Inside my stomach, tiny butterflies sprang to life, dancing and fluttering like they were caged and more than ready to be freed. And even though I wanted to smother my smile, hide the excitement, I couldn’t.
I sat up instead and faced him, pressing my nose to his as I whispered, “I’m okay with talking.”
He ran his thumbs across my lower back. “Kissing too?”
I nodded.
“Good.”
Just as my lips touched his, a loud smack sounded from behind us. The woman Oliver had approached screamed, “How dare you say that to me? I should have you arrested.”
Collin rubbed the tip of his nose across mine, and even though I didn’t get the kiss I wanted, his affectionate touches were almost as intoxicating.
“What’d you say to her?” Gavin laughed.
I glanced at Oliver. The cocky smile he’d worn all day was replaced by a frown and furrowed brows. He looked like he wanted to rip someone’s head off.
“Answer him, man.” William sighed, rubbing a hand over his mouth. Unlike Gavin, he didn’t look amused.
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?” Gavin laughed harder, shoving him in the shoulder. “A smack in the face was for nothing?”
“Jesus, just say it.” William leaned back against the wall, chin high.
“It’s never failed me,” Oliver growled. “Don’t understand.”
“Because you always do it when you’re full, that’s why,” William groaned.
I frowned, staring back and forth between the brothers. “Full?”
Oliver’s grin turned teasing, an obvious escape mechanism from getting burned. “Full is drunk. It’s what you Americans call it, no?”
“Brother, leave it.” William stood, a good inch taller than Oliver.
“No, I wanna hear it. Tell me what you said to that lady,” Gavin said, moving to stand between my line of sight and Oliver’s.
“Told her I wanted to…” Oliver leaned back against the wall next to his brother.
“—get lost in her outback.” William finished his brother’s words, smacking Oliver upside the head as he sat down next to him.
Just then Max walked into the waiting room, a massive bandage covering his head and, like always, a smile across his face.
“Fuckers!” His hands shot up over his head. Then he looked at me. “And miss.” He winked, and I rolled my eyes. “I am ready to get shit-faced.”
Gavin shook his head, while Oliver jumped up to chest-bump him. Collin settled his forehead against my back. I couldn’t stop grinning.
These men were ridiculous. And pretty damn awesome too.
* * *
“I didn’t take you to be a deep-dish kinda woman.”
Melted cheese dripped down Collin’s chin as he tried to take a bite of his pizza. His face was an adorable shade of pink from getting windburned all day.
“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” I took another bite myself.
He wiped his lips with his napkin, and his dimpled cheeks puckered inward. “Very true.”
The small talk was fine, but I couldn’t help but wonder when we were going to delve deeper into the good stuff. He’d made it very apparent we were going to have an “us” talk tonight, but he’d yet to bring it up.
Collin’s dark hair fell over his forehead as he leaned across the table to cover my wrist. My fingers twitched, wanting to brush the softness back with the tips. “Let’s play a game.”
“Another game?” My pulse spiked.
His lips tilted into a slow, sensual grin. “Yep. Five questions each, no holds barred, ask away. Only one pass.”
“Just one pass?” I took another drink of my soda and licked my lips to keep the wetness from spilling down my chin.
An Italian ballad played softly in the background, and my chest warmed with contentment. Regardless of the fact that my dress was entirely too short, I slouched a little lower in my seat and extended my legs out in front of me. Our feet brushed, and I couldn’t help but smile.
A candle flame danced between us, and the way the light reflected off his sparkling eyes enthralled my soul.
“Yes. One pass. But I go first.”
“That’s not fair.” I chuckled, mind scrambling as I thought about what I wanted to know. There were so many things to ask and so few questions to ask them in.
“Perfectly fair, I’d say. I came up with the idea, so I ask the first set.”
I leaned forward on the table, moving so our hands interlocked. Part of me did it so I could hide the sudden trembling of my fingers. He was giving me a chance to know him, so it was only fair that I was ready for him to know me too. The idea of sharing my past didn’t come easy to me, but still, if we were going to be together, I wanted full disclosure, no holding back.
“Then ask away.” I stared down at the silverware, too scared to see the judgment in his eyes when I told him the truth about my family.
“Favorite color.”
I blinked, looking up. On his face was a soft smile. One that said We’re in this together.
“Yellow.”
“Yeah?” His eyes widened in surprise.
“Yep. It’s…a happy color, ya know? Like the sunshine and sunflowers, bananas and lemons.”
One side of his mouth curled up. “Lemons and bananas, huh?”
I refused to let myself grow embarrassed. I was who I was and wouldn’t change for anyone. “And sunshine too. Don’t forget that. It’s the sign of summer.”
As if he finally understood, he nodded and brought my knuckles to his lips. “I’m good with yellow and sunshine.”
“So”—my pulse slowed—“what is your favorite holiday?”
“Easy. Fourth of July. Means freedom. Gives me serving as a marine more of a purpose.”
“I get it.” And I did. A marine was a breed of human who deserved so much more than just a nod, pat on the back, or “good job.” They fought for me, for America. But Collin was an exemplary man for so many more reasons.
“Tell me about your mom.”
My throat went dry. “Um…” I frowned, taken aback by the sudden change in direction of our little game. I knew it was coming, but getting no warning sucked.
“You gotta tell me, Addie. I need to know what breaks you so I don’t let it happen again.”
A small smile crept over my lips at his sweet words. “You can’t take my bad away, but thank you for wanting to try.”
“I can take it away if I want to. Replace it with all good things instead. That’s my plan, but first I gotta know the truth.”
Letting go of his hand, I leaned back in my chair and toyed with the paper napkin sitting next to my plate.
Fine. If he wanted to hear what broke me, I’d tell him. I just hoped he didn’t decide I was too much work.
Chapter 32
Collin
“My mom was from the Philippines. She moved over here when I was two and married my stepfather, a Caucasian man, who later adopted me.” Addie’s lips pursed as she shredded her paper napkin. Not once did she meet my eyes.
“You don’t know who your birth father is, then?”
She glared at the candle burning on the table. “Nope. Don’t really care, either. You can’t love or miss someone you never knew.”
I stared down at the same candle, wondering if this would be Chloe talking about her mother in twenty or so years…maybe even sooner. Right then and there, I decided I’d do everything I could to make her not feel that way. “What happened between you and your parents exactly?”
Addie sighed. “We were close, my mom and I, but not, like, best friends close. My father was more of a…figure who brought home money, drank beer, and occasionally
told me thank you for giving him another beer when he asked.” She scoffed. “For as long as I can remember, Mom let him walk all over her and tell her what to do. I mean, he wasn’t an abusive man. If anything, he was more affectionate than my mother was, if you can believe it. But he was fifty when they got married and my mom was only twenty-nine, so his kids were having grandkids and I think he was just…done with having kids. I was just an addition to his wife.” She bit her lip and glanced up at me, her eyes warm but her voice cold. “My father had these standards though. He said we had to follow certain rules to fit in with other women in American culture.”
“Bullshit,” I growled. As a father myself, I wanted to wring the motherfucker’s neck.
“He had the fiftie’s mind-set that women needed to dress properly, clean the house constantly, and be at his beck and call whenever he needed. But he also expected my mom to help with every aspect of the family business at the same time.”
“Sounds shitty.” My jaw flexed. It was hard to stay cool and relaxed when all I wanted to do was drive the two hours back home to first hug my baby girl and sister, and then find Addie’s asshole father and make him pay.
“It was all I knew, so it doesn’t bother me a whole lot. But it still pissed me off that he tried to control everything I ever did.” She met my stare, finally, but her face was blank. Emotionless even. “He told me I’d never be smart enough to go to college. That I just needed to marry wealthy and pop out a couple of grandkids, maybe work at their store when need be. Even had a guy lined up for me to marry fresh out of high school. His forty-year-old insurance agent, if you can believe that.” She stared down at her lap. “The moment the guy showed up at my house during my graduation party with an extravagant and creepy number of roses, I knew I had to break ties with my parents.”
Scowling, I leaned across the table and grasped her hands. “But you went to college. Got yourself a degree too. Not trying to sound like a dick, but how’d you afford it?”
She clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth, leaning back in her seat. “Mom may have abided by Dad’s rules, but that didn’t mean she wanted me to be unhappy. She had money stored away that my father didn’t know about.” She rested her hand on her chin. “Under my mattress, buried away in old pots and pans she had stored in the garage. All her Pinoy memorabilia that my father insisted she hide away.”
“Jesus,” I groaned as the reality of this entire jacked-up situation sank in.
“Once I applied for school, was approved for student aid and grants, and used the money Mom gave me, I packed all my stuff and moved to Macomb. Got a part-time job on campus, another part-time job working at the on-campus preschool, and spent the rest of the time studying and getting my degree.”
I frowned. “And your parents? What happened?”
She pressed her lips together for a minute before she finally said, “Dad told me not to bother coming home. That after all he’d done for me, I was pretty much wasted space to him.”
“No.” I leaned forward, hands going tight around the edge of the table. “You’re an amazing woman who does amazing things. That man doesn’t even deserve the title of father.”
Tears filled her eyes, but Addie held her chin up, not letting them fall. “I wish, more than anything, that my mom would’ve walked away. But she likes the security of a steady income…and I think she feels like she owes my father a lifetime for bringing us to this country. I miss her like crazy. But I know, deep down, she’s at least proud of me, even though she never once said it.”
I scrubbed a hand up and down my face, fighting back the anger in my throat. “Your father was a damn fool.”
“It is what it is, you know?” Her mouth twisted to the side before she finished. “I dug my grave, and now I’ve gotta sleep in it.”
“How long has it been since you’ve talked to them?” I pushed the candle aside, along with the pizza, and pulled her hands close.
“The last person I spoke to was my mother, and that was a year ago when she dropped by my apartment with some Filipino cuisine and a plea to call my father and try to make amends.”
“And?”
She squeezed my hands. “I told her he wasn’t worth it. That I’d love to see her, even if it was in secret, but she refused.” Her jaw clenched, and anger replaced the wetness in her eyes. “Claimed she wouldn’t go against her husband’s wishes, so I told her to leave and never come back. And she listened.”
In a flash, I moved around the table to sit in the chair next to Addie. The second I held her face in my hands, she shut her eyes, relaxing into me. “If your mom and dad were any sort of parents, then they wouldn’t have cared what you did, as long as you were happy.”
A few tears slid down her cheeks and over my hand, but she managed to smile. “Thank you for saying so”—she reached up and held my wrists—“but my parents were never typical, so I expected them to do what they did. That night when I found their store gone was a weak moment for me. I don’t have many moments like that anymore. I’m better than I used to be. Stronger.”
My heart thudded in my chest. “I’ve had those weak moments. Needed them so I could get over a lot of bad shit I’ve seen and been through in my life.” I leaned forward and pressed my forehead to hers. “Don’t be afraid of them. Not when you’ve got me to—”
“Collin.” She pulled my face up, lips quivering, eyes still red and wet. “Can we go now?”
My shoulders fell. Apparently there were limits when it came to Addie, and I needed to abide by them. But I also needed her to know I had my fair share of skeletons too. “This isn’t the end of this conversation. You can’t just bat your pretty eyes and expect me to forget it. I’m not your parents, and I’m not planning on leaving you alone, even if you try to push me away. You got me?”
“I got you,” she whispered, pressing her lips against mine.
Even though I wanted to believe her, I knew I couldn’t. Not yet. But I was damn sure not going to let her push me away. I fought hard for what I wanted. And now that I knew it was Addie, I’d never let her go.
* * *
Addison
“The lake froze over last winter. So much that the remaining birds couldn’t find any good food sources. A lot of bird deaths and all.”
Collin’s gaze was pointed toward the dark water of Lake Michigan as we walked along the lakefront, yet his thoughts were a million miles away. Part of me feared I’d scared him away with the story of my imperfect family, but I knew him better than that, heard his words loud and clear inside the restaurant. Collin didn’t care one bit about my past. Instead, he wanted my future. And I’d known the second he held my face between his hands back in the restaurant that I wanted to be in that future with him.
Our hands were interlocked, but because it was so cold, he tucked our fingers into his pocket. “I lived here for a while. Did I tell you that? With Amy, before I enlisted, right after we graduated from college. It was only for a couple of months.”
Caught in the spell of his words and voice, I looked up at his profile. “You don’t have to talk about her any more than you want to.”
His brows furrowed as he stared down at the dark sidewalk. Still, he didn’t speak as we walked.
“I mean, I get it. You loved her, probably always will.”
In the middle of the walkway, he spun me around by my arm to face him. His fingers wrapped around my upper arms, and he pulled me against his chest. In his arms, I was safe. Protected. Terrified too because being there felt so right.
Unable to look away, I asked, “You okay?”
He loosened his hold on one of my arms and lifted his hand to trail his knuckles down my cheek. I shivered, unable to fight the goose bumps forming beneath my clothes.
“Had no idea she wanted anything beyond sex and friendship with me. We were roommates. Best friends. That’s all it was to me. We dated other people and hung out
to drink beer on Thursday nights after work.” He tucked his hands into the pockets of his jeans, but took a step closer to me, until our chests pressed together. “Then it all changed the day before I left for boot camp.” He lowered his chin against his chest. “And because I couldn’t stand leaving anything behind me unfinished in case I didn’t come home, I told her I felt the same way, thinking at the time maybe I did, or that when I was done with my tours, that having her to come home to was going to be what I wanted.” He shrugged.
I had no idea what to say. So…I didn’t speak, only gave him my ears. He needed to talk. I needed to listen.
“After I got stationed, I only came back to the States once. My uncle’s funeral. And that night was the only time the two of us had unprotected sex.”
“She waited for you.” I bit my lip.
He nodded. “Then the next morning, I told her I didn’t want her to wait for me anymore because I’d been thinking about re-upping. I told her she deserved better and to find someone committed to her. Then she smacked me, told me she hated me, and left.”
“That was the night she got pregnant, wasn’t it?” I whispered.
“Yes.” Unwavering, he met my gaze.
“Did you love her, Collin?”
“I did.”
I expected those words…but why did it hurt so much to hear them out loud?
“What happened then? How did you find out about the pregnancy? About Chloe?”
“She sold her Chicago condo, saying she couldn’t afford it, then moved to Carinthia.” He cringed. “Mom saw her at the grocery store one day—that’s how I found out she was living in town. She asked Amy to come over for dinner, being polite. Then Amy broke down at their dinner table and told my parents and Lia about being pregnant.”
“They knew before you did?” I reached up to toy with the collar of his shirt, needing to keep touching him to get through the story.
“Yep. Eventually Amy sent me an email telling me the truth, so it didn’t really matter.” His voice shook. So did his hands as he lowered them to my waist.
“And she wanted to be closer to your parents because of Chloe, didn’t she?” I asked, the pieces finally coming together.
Reckless Hearts Series, Book 1 Page 22