He nodded once, confirming my suspicions.
Amy was so in love with Collin that she would’ve done anything to keep him. Moved to a new town, made nice with his family to gain support…but he broke her heart, and Collin held some mad-crazy guilt over doing and saying the things he did to her. Still, what about her parents? Her friends?
“Where are her parents?” I asked.
“New York. They come to visit on occasion, but it’s really sporadic. They’ve only seen Chloe a handful of times.”
He pulled me against his chest, squeezing me to him. With his chin on my head, he continued to speak even though every nerve ending in my body was rattled.
“How did Amy…” I held my breath, not wanting to ask but really wanting to know at the same time.
“How did Amy die?”
I nodded, hating my incessant need to know everything and anything.
“After Chloe was born, she moved in with my mom and dad for support. One night she told them she was running out to grab diapers, but she never came home. Died in a head-on collision.”
“God…” I wrapped my arms even tighter around his waist and squeezed my eyes shut.
“Two weeks later, I finally came home.”
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered in his ear.
He kissed the top of my head. “I blamed myself for a long time. Like, maybe if I hadn’t reenlisted, I could’ve been home and there for her. Maybe I could’ve looked into family housing and gotten transferred to be closer.”
I leaned forward. “Life’s what-ifs are always the things you can’t control. Don’t continually beat yourself up over them.”
“She might still be alive though. And Chloe could’ve been with her mother.”
More than anything, I would want that for Chloe too. But at the same time, something pinched inside me at the thought of never having met Collin or Chloe. I was selfish for even thinking those thoughts, but I was only human.
“I’m not going to say I’m sorry for your loss,” I whispered. “I know it won’t help if I do.” Heart breaking with every word I spoke, I continued to spill my guts because there really was no point in holding back anymore. “But I am going to say you are one lucky man because Amy left you with a memory you won’t ever be able to let go of. And it comes in the form of a beautiful little girl who loves you more than the Harry the Bunny and Cheerios.” I pulled back to look up at him, cupping his warm cheeks. “And in eleven-month-old terms, that’s pretty amazing.”
Even in the dark, I saw his eyes go wide, but I kept going, pretending not to care what he thought and only knowing I had to get my words out before I lost them.
“Right here”—I pressed one hand over my heart—“I know who you are. An amazing father, an amazing brother, and an amazing friend.” I blinked away the warmth in my eyes. “And I know I haven’t been through what you have, but—”
Lips cut me off. Soft, commanding, and everything I didn’t expect. Hands went around my waist, only to hold me up on my tiptoes. I had no idea what I’d done to deserve this kiss, but I wasn’t going to complain. Nor was I going to be the one to stop it. If Collin wanted to kiss me, then by God, I was going to kiss him back.
Chapter 33
Collin
Could’ve sworn I was dreaming, that the hand grazing my hip and trailing down beneath the sheets was my own. But it was too soft, too gentle.
Eyes blurred from sleep, I squinted at the clock. Three fifteen in the morning and I wasn’t alone in my bed. I grinned at the thought, pretending to be asleep as the sexy-as-hell woman of my dreams wrapped her hand around my cock from behind.
“Collin,” she whispered, stroking me slowly.
Took all my willpower to stay still, especially since I was more than ready to turn her over and fuck her for the third time since we’d gotten back to our hotel room. But I wanted Addie to set the pace for once, to be in control and take me the way she wanted to take me.
And damn, she didn’t disappoint.
The covers slid off my body, rubbing against my bare legs as she rolled me onto my back. Her breaths were already heavy, a sure sign she was as worked up as I was. Her tiny fingers trailed over my stomach and I shuddered, unable to stop myself from opening my eyes and meeting her gaze.
Before I could comment on the thoughts going through her mind, she straddled my thighs, pressed her perfect tits against them, and took the head of my cock into her mouth.
“Damn, baby. You’re gonna kill me.” But death was gonna feel so damn good.
Around my dick she moaned, lowering her mouth. Slow. So fucking slow. Taking her time, loving on my cock like it was all she needed to survive.
I gripped the sheets, watching her move. The torture was almost too much. “Addison,” I growled, leaning up on my elbows, chest tightening the longer I watched.
She met my gaze again, eyebrows bunched together in concentration.
“Addie girl, feels so fuckin’ good.”
She moved faster.
Fingers grazed the underside of my ass, and I hissed as one of them slipped between my cheeks. She squeezed and played and moaned, the vibration coursing through my dick like a sexual earthquake. Bright lights flashed behind my eyes when I shut them. In and out, I tried to breath, failing the harder she sucked. More than anything I wanted to come inside her mouth, to flip her around and on top of me so I could have her come against mine too. But damn, she was pretty with her hair all around her face and on my thighs with her lips suctioned around me, so asking her to stop wasn’t something my lips and tongue could comprehend doing.
And then, like she could read my mind, she turned her body around, bringing her pretty pussy to my head, giving me what I wanted without my even asking.
Loved how she took what she wanted.
On my back, I squeezed her hips and dipped my tongue against her. She gasped around my cock, stopping for a second only to suck me harder than before.
This was heaven—the Addison kind. And I was the luckiest son of a bitch alive.
The headboard began to rock as her legs and feet writhed by my head. The sound rhythmic, the perfect, sexy beat. I sucked on her clit; she sucked on my head. I moaned; she hissed.
And then suddenly, it wasn’t enough. I needed to see her face, not just hear her noises. I wanted to kiss her. Touch her breasts. Feel her eyes on me. And I wasn’t going to stop until I had it.
Impatient and damn near ready to explode, I flipped her onto her back, crawled up her body, and slid inside her, not thinking of anything else.
“Kiss me, sweetheart.”
Her lips met mine, as demanding as my words. Fingers pulled at the back of my hair, the pain so good I bit her lip in response. She gasped as I pulled back, her gaze meeting mine.
“Collin!” she cried out, reaching for me, needing me.
There was nothing I wanted more than this. Nothing I wanted to feel but her and me.
“Fucking love you.” I yanked her up so we were both sitting, urging her to ride me. “Fucking love you so much.” Those words. I’d only said them once, but I’d never really felt them. Never wanted to feel them as much as I wanted to with Addison.
“Oh my God.” She nuzzled her face into my neck, clawing at my back. “Collin, yes. I—”
I cupped her face, bringing her lips to mine. Didn’t want her to feel pressured to say it back. Just wanted her to know. Needed her to know.
Hands eager to touch her all over, I reached down between our bodies, allowing my fingers to graze over her clit. She moaned, still kissing me, and I took that as my cue to go faster.
“Holy shit,” she mumbled, pulling back.
I gripped her ass with my other hand, bringing her up higher, her breasts rubbed against my chest, spurring me faster.
“I can’t… I need to…” she groaned.
“I know,” I w
hispered, trailing kisses along her neck.
The sheets slid beneath my ass, granting me the ability to slow the pace while still concentrating on keeping her filled. My sudden need to possess this woman overrode my own needs as I rubbed her clit harder.
“Tell me I’m the only man who will ever fill you here”—I pressed my thumb harder against her—“again.”
She hissed, arching her back. “Yes.”
“Fuck, yes.” Faster, harder, with everything I had left, I poured my emotions into her with every thrust and every breath until she was screaming my name.
And with her contented sigh, I yanked my cock out, spilling my release all over her thigh, hating myself for not asking if I could take her without a condom, but thankful I had the common sense to pull out. She was on the pill, and both of us were clean and had been tested, but I didn’t want to take the chance ’cause nothing was foolproof.
“I love you,” I whispered again, taking her mouth in my own. And for the first time in years, I could feel the promise of a forever.
Chapter 34
Addison
Standing outside the front door of his house, Collin wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me against his chest. “Stay here tonight. Gonna get cold without you in my arms.”
The cold wind blew through my hair and I shivered, wanting nothing more than to stay. Still, I didn’t want to be too eager, in case he decided this thing between us wasn’t what he wanted after all.
Regardless of my thoughts, I couldn’t resist leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “You’re so convincing.” Grinning like mad, I pulled back and laid my chin on his shoulder.
He nuzzled his nose against my cheek. “I’m no poet. But you make me wanna write sonnets and quote Shakespeare just to keep you here. Better?”
I giggled. “Your bed is entirely too small.”
He pulled his head back, as did I. “Got a pullout couch. Gotta get a new bed.” He grinned. “A bigger one so we can roll around in it.”
I giggled. “Don’t get a new one on my account. It’s not as though I’m going to be living here with you.”
He frowned. “Why not? Told you I loved you. Told you I wanted you in my arms every night. What else do I have to do to convince you?”
I cleared my throat, head spinning from the sudden whirlwind of this all. We’d just made “us” official less than a month ago, and now he was talking about me moving in with him?
“Max wouldn’t like it if I moved in.”
“Don’t give a shit what Max likes.” He dropped his hand, reaching for something in his pockets. “You’re in our life now. He don’t like it, then—”
“Stop.” I pressed a finger to his lips, leaning forward to brush my nose against his neck. He inhaled hard, and I watched the tension seep from his shoulders. After kissing his throat, I pulled back. “He pays rent. You can’t just decide whether or not to move someone else in. It’s not right.”
He opened his mouth, ready to speak, but the door flew open behind him. Collin whirled around, standing in front of me with his arms spread to the sides. I rolled my eyes and shoved him to my right to stand next to him.
“Hello, young man.” A gentleman with a mustache and collared shirt lifted his chin in greeting. “Pleasure to see you again.”
Collin stiffened, his jaw dropping. “W-what are you doing here?” Forgetting me completely, he darted forward and pulled the guy into a hug, only to shove his way inside the house seconds later.
“Hi.” I waved awkwardly at the handsome gentleman. The man was tired-looking, with lines surrounding his eyes and lips. Out of every emotion in the world, sadness had robbed his features the most, I could tell.
“Good to meet you. My name is Alexander.” The man nodded my way, holding out a hand.
Shivering, I moved forward and gripped it. “I’m Addison Booker, Collin’s girlfriend.” I shook his hand, all the while thinking ridiculous, thirteen-year-old-girl thoughts.
Girlfriend.
Collin’s significant other.
The woman in Collin’s life.
Soon, I’d be writing his name with mine, adding doodled hearts and pink roses all around them.
I moved around Alexander, inhaling his cologne at the same time. In a way, he reminded me of my father…but with a much nicer demeanor.
When I walked into the living room, I found Collin on the couch, hugging a gorgeous older woman with white hair and bright-blue eyes. Eyes that mirrored Chloe’s.
“She’s so beautiful. And getting so big too,” the woman blubbered, a tissue clutched in her hand by her eyes.
I locked my gaze onto Lia. Her face was pale, and her eyes were almost paranoid as she glanced from me to Collin to Chloe, then back to me once more.
My need to comfort pushed me forward, and she latched her arms around my neck, hugging me tight. “Missed ya. Wanna go hang out? Go grab some coffee? Like, now?” She laughed nervously and pulled me toward the door.
“Um…” Biting my lip, I glanced from Collin’s happy smile over to the woman who had Chloe’s eyes.
“Seriously, Addie. Let’s go. He stole you away for an entire weekend and—”
“Lia.” I pulled back and squeezed her hand. “Just give me a second, okay?” Was it my imagination, or was she trying to get me out of here on purpose?
“God, she looks just like Amy.”
I stiffened, staring down at the man. Eyes soft, he crouched next to the woman.
Collin’s face lit up like a star on Christmas morning. In his gaze, I saw love and adoration only a father could ever feel.
“She’s definitely as gorgeous as her mother was.”
I swallowed hard at his words, staring at Chloe and then the woman who held her and then Chloe again.
Like a lightning bolt shot through my veins, the reality of this situation hit me. These weren’t just old friends of Collin’s.
These were Amy’s parents.
“How about we take you two out for dinner?” The woman jumped up from the couch, bringing Chloe with her. She glanced back at us, her eyes popping when she looked my way, then softening when they landed on Lia. “And Lia, dear, we’d love for you to join us too. You were our daughter’s confidant when Collin was overseas. It’d mean so much to us to spend time with you again.”
My stomach clenched when I glanced up at Collin. He was talking to Alexander, laughing like old friends, oblivious to the scene—and to me too.
For appearances’ sake, I approached the woman, smiling softly as I held out my hand in greeting. “Hello. It’s so nice to meet you. I’m Addison.”
Her dark eyebrows rose slightly. “Ah, yes. My granddaughter’s nanny. Lia mentioned that. So good to meet you. If you haven’t noticed”—she wiped her damp eyes with her tissue—“I’m a wee bit emotional right now. My husband and I…we haven’t seen Chloe in four very long months.”
Her smile was polite, genuine even, but the awkwardness of the situation was making my skin itch all the same. It was great that they were here for Chloe and all, but the fact that they had just shown up out of the blue was unnerving.
I glanced at Lia, looking for backup, but her head was down—no help there, apparently. So I looked toward Collin instead, but he and Alexander weren’t even in the room.
Lovely. A lone cat in a dog-eat-dog world. This wasn’t turning out to be a splendid evening.
“We’re moving here to Carinthia to be closer to our granddaughter. I am so excited to spend time with her. I plan on watching her as much as Collin will let me.”
Lia moved closer, reaching for my hand. Too numb to respond, I let her take it, ignoring her silent squeeze.
“Th-that’s great. She is a wonderful baby.” The words came out as a whisper, and the woman’s smile grew wider in turn.
“I worry about her is all.” She lea
ned in close to whisper to me and Lia, “All these men, no motherly figure around to soften her up.” She shuddered, completely ignoring the fact that I was in fact female. And so was Lia. “It’s probably for the best that Chloe grows up around family, especially without her mother around.”
Like there was a string yanking on my heart, I felt it drop inside me, the sensation so aching I could barely catch my breath. Not even Lia’s hand on mine could keep me from freaking out internally.
God…what was I going to do if I lost this job? Worse yet—what was I going to do if I lost Chloe? She’d become my world in six short weeks. Same for her uncles and aunt and…Collin.
Panic had me wanting to run, and I managed to drop Lia’s hand to take a step back.
“Addie,” she warned, looking like she was ready to chase after me. Tie me down if she had to.
With the biggest smile I could muster, I reached out for the lady’s hand. “It was so good to meet you.” Her head cocked to the side in confusion, but she smiled all the same, taking it up a notch to step closer to me.
“You too, dear.” Like we were the oldest of friends, she wrapped her arms around my shoulders and held me close. “It was so good to meet you.”
My throat burned with a sob as I swallowed, but somehow I managed to keep it locked inside. “You too.”
“Addie, don’t you—”
“Tell Collin I’ll talk to him later.” Chin high, I glanced at Lia, nodded once, then turned toward the door.
And without a second thought, I did what I’ve done best in life: I ran.
* * *
“Stupid, stupid, stupid.” How could I be such an idiot? Thinking I could live up to the standards of a ghost. A memory Collin would probably never be able to move past.
By the time I was halfway around the block, my hands were ice cold, even shoved inside the pockets of my coat. Sniffling, with my nose almost a frozen block of ice, I made it around the corner, only to hear his voice.
“Where are you going?”
Reckless Hearts Series, Book 1 Page 23