You Were Always Home (Homecoming #3)

by C. Lymari

  “Yeah…” I answered.

  “Pack a bag. You can come stay with me. We’ll deal with everything tomorrow.”

  “I can’t,” I replied right away.

  “You can’t, or you won’t?”

  “I won’t.”

  “Jesus, babe, look at this place…”

  Wrong thing to say.

  “Come on, girls, let’s go get that couch.” I barely heard Jana’s voice over the ringing in my ears.

  “I know my place may look like a dump, but it’s my home…”

  “Why are you living here, Juliet?”

  “That’s none of your business,” I seethed.

  “Your mouth on my cock makes it my business.”

  Oh no, he didn’t.

  “We are friends. No, we are fuck buddies. That’s all we are. You still think I’m a spoiled little bitch, but don’t pretend like we are fucking friends because we aren’t! I just lost everything, and I don’t need you here condescending me for thinking I’m better than this place when I am no better than anyone else. I won’t leave here, because if I leave, who’s going to look after Jess and Rosie?”

  “Babe.” Jake’s voice was much softer and gentle, but I didn’t care.

  “I want you to leave.” I pointed to the door, not breaking eye contact with him.

  One.

  Two.

  Three.

  He broke our standoff, nodded, and walked away. I stayed in my apartment alone watching all those months of preparation pay off to a whole lot of nothing. Not thinking about it, I went to my room and flipped the bed back and noticed that all my small jewelry was gone. My backup in case things went horribly wrong was gone. Nana’s jewelry was stolen. I loved my Nana with my whole heart, and the only thing I had of hers was now gone.

  I didn’t know how long I sat on my mattress just staring at the wall thinking what would have happened to me if I had stayed with Chad. It was weak of me to think, but my life had been cushy.

  “I am strong,” I whispered and looked down at my left hand. Although the cast was gone, I still felt the weakness it left behind.

  “Since you refuse to come to my place, I guess I’m staying here.” Jake’s voice scared me. He was leaning against the bedroom door.

  “You’re back.”

  “You’re here. Where else am I supposed to go?”

  I had nothing to say to that. Those were words I always wanted to hear from a man I loved, but my life was too complicated for love.

  “I thought you were upset with me.”

  “Frustrated,” he replied.

  “I’m okay. You don’t have to feel sorry for me.”

  Jake laughed as he made his way to me. He leaned against the wall so close to me; the space wasn’t big enough for his muscular frame.

  “I lied,” he said.

  My heart sank with those two words.

  “When I said I didn’t want anything, I lied,” he elaborated. “Truth is, I was hesitant. I like you, Juliet. I think a part of me always had, and these past few weeks, I like the parts of you I didn’t know existed. I love that even though you are probably scared to stay here, you’ll do it for those two girls. I love that you are more than I ever imagined you to be.”

  I wanted to cry again. It was bittersweet; I felt joy in all the things he said, but at the same time, I felt like I didn’t deserve it. I didn’t deserve someone like Jake, and I think I knew it since the beginning. It was why I agreed to our friends-with-benefits arrangement. Because that way I could have a taste of him without feeling guilty. Without feeling like a liar.

  “Jake… I… don’t think—”

  “Then don’t think,” he said before he pushed off from the wall and grabbed my mouth in a tender kiss.

  It was everything a kiss should be: sweet and raw, honest and passionate, but on my end, I could taste the deception. At that moment, I didn’t care and gave myself to it. I kissed him like I’d wanted to kiss him when I was sixteen years old and full of hopes and dreams. Full of want and need. At that moment, I didn’t care if I had more to lose. That was okay because, in this moment, I had it all. I was alive, I was healthy, and I was cared for.

  “Jake…” I tried to stop him, but his kiss became more urgent.

  He pushed me against the mattress, my body succumbing to his weight.

  “We’ll take it slow, babe.” His hand came to the apex of my thighs, and all my protests left when my belly quivered.

  “Give us a chance, Juliet.” He stopped kissing me so he could look at me.

  Jake Carson was over me, one of his hands wrapped around my waist and the other between my legs. And, like an idiot, I said yes. I wanted to be selfish, and who knew? Maybe he wouldn’t find out. Maybe Jake wouldn’t see how weak I really was. I wrapped my hands against his neck and kissed him, kissed him like he was mine.

  “I don’t miss that cast at all.”

  I heard the humor in his voice, and I didn’t have to tell him I didn’t miss it either.

  “I want you, Juliet. I have for a long time.” Jake snapped my top button open.

  My heart sped with anticipation and a little dread, but I closed my eyes tightly and promised myself that Chad no longer had a hold on me. Jake was waiting for my permission, his eyes boring into me, waiting for me to give him the yes we both so desperately wanted. His hesitation was enough to make me nod my head.

  “Here they—oh, my God!”

  Cynthia—yes, that Cynthia, as in the mother of Jake, who was my more-than-a-fuck-buddy-but-less-than-a-boyfriend—opened the door while her Jakey had his hand down my panties. As soon as she saw us in a compromising position, she closed the door.

  “I’m going to die,” I screeched.

  The mortification was getting to me. Jake was eerily silent, but when I looked up at him, he was laughing. Just like his brother, he didn’t make any noise once he got going.

  “How can you laugh at a moment like this?” I hissed. “Your mom just walked in on us!”

  “Babe, it’s not like I was fucking you.”

  “But she knew we were about to.”

  “I’m sure she did.”

  “We were about to have sex, Jake!” I exclaimed.

  “Do you guys want us to leave?” Blake called out.

  “No!”

  “Yes.”

  “You can’t say yes—then they’ll know we were going to have sex.”

  “Babe,” Jake started to say.

  I cut him off with a glare. “Don’t you dare say anything.”

  Fixing my shirt, I took a deep breath before opening the door. Jake’s hands wrapped around my waist, and his stubble rasped against my jaw, his breath tickling my ear.

  “You feeling better, babe?”

  “No.”

  “Liar.”

  “Whatever.”

  “You mind if I sleep over?”

  I shook my head because I didn’t. I didn’t mind at all. He was right; I was scared shitless, but I wasn’t going to go anywhere else. Jess and Rosie needed to know I was here for them.

  Jake’s parents, Jana, Russell, Dex, and Emma were all in my tiny apartment sitting on a yellow sectional. A television a couple of inches smaller than the one I had was now mounted on the wall. On the other end was a small wooden table with four chairs, and on top of it was a stack of mismatched plates and bowls. My lips wobbled. I had no words for what all these people had done for me, and I felt like a “thank you” wasn’t going to be enough, but it was all I had to give.

  “Thank you,” I managed to say once I got my shit together.

  My place looked like a hot mess, something the old me would have scoffed at, but knowing all of these people put it together so my home could feel like my home again made it that much more special.

  “Oh, sweetheart, we are so glad you’re okay!” Cynthia ran up to me, prying me out of Jake’s embrace.

  I was still mortified from earlier. My face was beet red.

  “It’s okay. I saw nothing,” she whis
pered in my ear.

  Kill. Me. Now.

  How great was Jake’s family? Up until that moment I hadn’t given much thought to my family, but even if they knew, I doubt they would have come. My father would have just said, “I told you so,” and my mother would have agreed.

  “Ma…” I don’t know how Jake knew, but he pulled his mom away from me before I could cry.

  “Is there anything I can do?” Emma said as she hugged me, then handed me a warm cup of coffee. Her coffee was bomb, and I wondered why she was here.

  Raising the cup, I told her, “This is more than enough. You are very talented.”

  And oh boy, was it enough. It was better than Starbucks. Better than any coffee I’d ever had.

  “I brought some food for you and the girls. I already dropped off some at Jess’s place.”

  “You are very lovely, but you didn’t have to do this for me…” I didn’t finish the statement. I knew I wasn’t the nicest to her back in high school.

  “And you need to stop thinking you don’t deserve kindness.” Emma smiled at me.

  I swore I saw an aura behind her golden curls, but it was probably the light from the kitchen. I felt so stupid for ever thinking that Emma was mousy. Granted, that was high school me; older me knew Emma was a gem. Maybe I did think I didn’t deserve kindness, but I was sure it was a habit that wasn’t going to break anytime soon. Even if I did deserve kindness, all of these people were too good for me.

  A few hours later, my place was as good as new. I even got curtains because Cynthia knew that pretty curtains could make or break a home. She gave me an old set that she didn’t use anymore; they were beige and kind of went along with my yellow couch, but at this point, I didn’t care about perfect aesthetics.

  Once everyone left, Jake went over to Jess’s to make sure she and Rosie were okay. I was curled on the sofa drinking Jake’s coffee, having finished my own. When the doorknob started to turn, I was alert, but took ease when Jake walked back in.

  “I’m going to get you a sliding lock so only you can open it from the inside.”

  “But Jess and Rosie won’t be able to get in.”

  Jake opened his mouth, but he didn’t argue with me. He knew how much those two meant to me.

  “Are the girls okay?” I asked.

  “I think it’s the first night in a long time they are… but, baby, I don’t want you to get your hopes up. If their mother doesn’t press charges—”

  “I know how the law works against domestic abuse, trust me.”

  The bitter words left a bad taste in my mouth. God, did I know how the law worked. Had Chad been Jake or someone else, I would have been rid of him. Hell, I might have gotten a restraining order. But Chad had power, and my last name didn’t cut it. In Jess’s mom’s case, her husband was a white male and she was a minority, and that right there afforded him a privilege that had been ingrained in the law a long time ago.

  “You care about those girls, don’t you?” he asked.

  “It’s hard not to. Rosie’s the sweetest little thing. I swear, it doesn’t matter if I have a shitty day. She’ll say or do something and I can’t help but smile. And Jess, she’s so moody and reserved, but if you hang around long enough for her to drop the act, she’s caring, loyal, and funny.”

  There was a smile on my face as I talked about the girls. When I looked up, Jake was staring at me, his eyes blazing.

  “You love them.”

  “I think I do,” I whispered.

  Jake sat next to me, his body facing me as his hands reached out, pulling the strand of hair that was obstructing his view of my face. My body shivered when I felt his cold fingertips graze my skin.

  “You don’t know?”

  “I… I don’t think my family loves me.” I needed a second to formulate the words without breaking down. “I see the way your parents are with you, how Dex and Russell are hesitant toward me because of Freya, the way Jess would do anything for Rosie… My family has never done anything like that for me. All of them are too wrapped up in their own drama to even care about mine.”

  I knew it was stupid. I knew it was selfish and entirely unfair, but had either of my brothers paid more attention, they could have given me the hand I so desperately tried to reach for. But every time I reached out, all I found was empty space.

  32

  Juliet

  Jake’s fingers grabbed my chin, his thumb moving leisurely side to side. Slowly, he angled my face to face him. His blue eyes were so dark they sparked with anger.

  “Fuck, Juliet, you say things like this and all I want to do is make sure you’re safe.”

  “I don’t need you to save me, Jake.” I licked my lips.

  His gaze followed the movement, and I saw the vein in his neck speed up.

  “Then what do you need, Juliet?” he growled as he grabbed me by the nape.

  Talking about my family fueled me with anger, but also determination. If I wanted to get better and move on, I had to start now. Jake wasn’t Chad, and a part of me had always known that. I moved closer, putting the cup on the coffee table.

  “You.”

  The words barely left my lips when Jake pulled me into his lap. My hands went to his broad shoulders, relishing the feel of him. My fantasy came to life. I’d felt both of our heartbeats furiously throbbing to the same beat for years. I worked my way to his face, using the pads of my fingers to memorize the contours of his face, the lines and ridges that told the story of his happiness and sorrows. When I ran my fingers through his hair, I added pressure to his scalp. When Jake moaned, I felt it at my core.

  “Fuck, baby, you turn me on like no other.”

  His husky tone made it hard to breathe. The way he pushed me down onto his hard erection made me whimper.

  “I want to be buried so deep in you tonight that we forget there was ever a time you didn’t know what the absence of my cock felt like. I want you screaming my name until your pussy soaks my dick with how much you want me. I want you fucking bad, Juliet.”

  My reply was to grind myself against him and moan. Jake let out a string of curse words while his hands came to my waist and slowly started to peel my blouse off.

  “Fuck,” he groaned when he saw my sheer black La Perla brassiere.

  You could see how hard my rosy nipples were. Jake’s hand came to my hips, lighting me up while his mouth came down and bit gently on my oversensitive nipple.

  “Jake.” I ran my fingers through his hair, encouraging him to keep going.

  His face was buried in my chest, and all I could see was the top of his head, and it was erotic as hell. I felt the wetness of his tongue dampening my bra. The tips of his teeth scraped my nipples, and I felt the suction of his mouth, and all it did was intensify the sensation between my legs. I was aware I was grinding against his thigh, but I didn’t care. I was so freaking close.

  “Jake, please touch me,” I begged.

  I had never begged in my life before, not for a single thing.

  I felt Jake’s smile at the top of my breast. “But I am touching you.”

  I might have growled or groaned, but he was undoing my pants and putting his hand inside, teasing me over my panties.

  “You’re so fucking wet,” he croaked.

  Feeling so needy and wanton, I started to rub my pussy against his hand.

  “Fuck, Juliet, you look so hot.”

  The pad of his finger teased my clit, rubbing circles slowly, but every time he added more pressure, building me up to what was going to be an epic orgasm. I was right there. My face felt tight. I felt the explosion coming when Jake removed his hand, and it was painful.

  “Your bed. Now,” he commanded.

  With ease, he got up, my arms around his shoulders, my legs wrapped around him, my head thrown back every time he rubbed his cock against my oversensitive pussy. Jake didn’t lay me down gently on the bed; he threw me down and started to pull down my pants and panties.

  “Your clothes,” I panted, naked except for
my bra. “Take them off.”

  Our gazes locked. Jake took off his thermal. I’d been pressed against his muscles, felt them wrapped around me a time or two, but to see the ridges of his six-pack was another thing. I always thought sex was just a mutual release, two people getting naked, and if you were lucky and your partner knew what he was doing, it was going to be good. But with Jake, just having sex wasn’t enough. Touching him, kissing him, watching him take off his clothes for me was part of the experience. My clit was throbbing at this point, and I knew if I put my hand between my legs, I could probably come harder than I ever had in my life.

  When Jake took off his pants, his dick was hard. It almost looked angry. He kneeled on the bed.

  This is it, I thought. I’m finally going to feel Jake Carson’s dick inside me, fucking me.

  Instead, he brought his face to my exposed legs. I heard his inhale, the tip of his nose gliding down my pussy lips.

  “So smooth,” he murmured.

  His breath prickled my clit like little needles. It was pleasure and pain. I was smooth; Chad didn’t want hair there if he was expected to “eat” it, so he’d had me lasered. But now wasn’t the moment to think back on all the signs that were there. Not when I felt Jake’s tongue lick down my pussy.

  “Jake!” I screamed.

  My hands were wrapping around my duvet. Jake didn’t respond. Instead, he did it again, focusing on every part between my legs except that little nub that needed his attention. My eyes were closed tight, as if that was going to ease up the tension in my body.

  “Watch me, baby. Watch as I use my tongue to make you come.”

  Jake licked at my clit and lapped it, and when I lost all pretension and started to fuck his face, he sucked.

  “Oh, God.” My body thrashed and turned as much as Jake let me. His hands stayed on my hips, holding me down as he continued to feast on me.

  “You taste phenomenal,” I heard him say as he kissed his way up my body. He stopped to nibble on my breast and took my bra off my languid body.

  One of his hands came behind my head. His legs were between mine, and I felt the tip of his dick on my thigh. Our eyes met, and I saw the same want and need to devour each other in his eyes that I felt in my heart. His moist lips touched mine, and I opened for him, my arms wrapping around his back.