True Shifter

by Rains, Christine

  TRUE SHIFTER

  TOTEM #9

  Christine Rains

  True Shifter (Totem #9)

  Christine Rains | Copyright 2017

  Kindle Edition

  All rights reserved. This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Amazon.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  This book is a work of fiction, and any resemblance to any person, living or dead, any place, events, or occurrences is purely coincidental. The characters and story lines are created from the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

  Tagline: Three sisters, seven totems, one chance to save the world.

  Summary: Saskia Dorn can’t bear to lose anyone else. But when the only man she’s ever loved turns his back on her, she runs off to sacrifice herself to the totem quest.

  With a disgusting kiss, a dying house spirit grants her the power to shift into any creature. Yet she has neither the time to train nor the imagination to utilize the gift to its fullest. How will she manage to defeat a villain who has mastered the ability and made her the person she is? Saskia only has a few freakin’ hours to figure it out. After all, the fate of every shifter in the world depends on her victory.

  Cover design: Christine Rains

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  For Cherie,

  without whom none of this would be possible.

  TABLE OF CONTENTS

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Epilogue

  Totem Series

  Where to Find Christine Rains Online

  Other Works by Christine Rains

  Untethered Realms

  Acknowledgments

  About Christine Rains

  Saskia lay beside a man she thought she knew. Though Sedge wasn’t a man at the moment. Both of them in their polar bear forms were stuffed into a den too small for two full grown bears. Never mind he was twice as big as any regular bear since he was Bear, the latest reincarnation of the old Inuit god.

  She stared at the faint light coming from the entrance. Today would be the day she demanded they return to her family and finish the totem quest. They’d been gone too long. Three weeks since Christmas Eve, the night when her sister Kinley battled Sedge and won the bear token.

  Her nerdy sister fought Sedge and held her own. Never in a million years would Saskia have thought that could happen.

  Neither did Sedge. His defeat… No, he wasn’t beaten. It merely ended when that bastard traitor Azarius swooped in and tried to steal the token from the bear cub. Again, Kinley, wielding a magical sword, stopped him. What fucking universe were they living in?

  Any which way, Sedge’s loss drove him into the wilds of Kodiak Island. He was not someone used to losing. And he’d been certain the bear token had been meant for him. Saskia, her sisters, and their boyfriends had been sure of that too. When Sedge had started to fight the mother bear, Saskia didn’t like it, but she believed it was the test, the way he had to prove himself.

  Then Kinley jumped in to face off against Sedge, and Saskia’s heart was torn in two. Her sister versus the man she loved. She put her faith in Sedge; he was Bear, after all. She’d even fought Ransom, Ametta, and Lucky to hold them back from interfering. Her gut twisted at the memory.

  Kinley had been right. Saskia’s instincts had told her that right off, but she ignored them. Would she have let Sedge kill her sister? No, Sedge wouldn’t… At least, she hoped he wouldn’t have.

  Saskia growled at herself. She couldn’t doubt him. Every shifter in the world needed him to reunite the totems or else they could all die or, worse, lose their ability to shift.

  She needed him. This was why she waited with him. Not just for the quest, but because she wanted him by her side. They were stronger together.

  Sedge stirred beside her and grunted as he repositioned himself. No way was she going to let him sleep another day away.

  Urgency filled her chest. Not just from her salmon totem that yearned to reunite with its brothers and sisters, but one to see her sisters again, to protect them, and to maybe apologize for being an ass. Damn, she hated that thought, and the fact that Ametta would make it difficult with her righteousness, whereas Kinley would not. It made the guilt drive further into her soul.

  Saskia nudged the massive bear beside her, and he huffed but didn’t raise his head. When she pushed him with her head, he ignored her.

  Damn him. Shifting into her human form, Saskia clothed herself with a little Black Shaman magic and stood with her hands on her hips. “Get up. We’re going back today.”

  No reaction.

  That was it. She’d been so patient, giving him time and being there for him. And he just wanted to wallow in self-pity. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Get your furry ass up, and let’s go. We have a job to finish.” When he didn’t do anything again, she shoved his side with her foot. “What are you going to do? Hide out and forget everything that’s happening because of one stupid fight? I will go back myself.”

  She waited for him to turn, to do something, anything, and when he didn’t, she let out a little shout of frustration and turned to leave.

  Sedge snagged her arm with his human hand. Finally he had shifted. Dressed all in white, his pale blond hair brushed against the den’s ceiling. His voice was dry and gravelly when he spoke. “Don’t go.”

  Those were the first words he’d said since Christmas Eve.

  “Come with me.” Saskia offered her other hand to him.

  He gritted his teeth, and his jaw twitched under his beard. He didn’t take her hand, but he didn’t let her go. “You don’t understand…”

  Saskia tipped her head back and groaned. “I don’t understand what? That you’re feeling sorry for yourself and you’re burying your head in the snow to the fact the world is still going on without you? You are the only one who can put the totem pole back together. Every damn shifter in the world is counting on you. And if you don’t do something, someone else might get the totems and fuck us all over.”

  She didn’t say Azarius’ name. The asshole who was once her most trusted friend, her mentor, and now the murderer of her father. He had three of the tokens, and he could change into any shape. Lies. Her years with him had been full of lies.

  “I know—”

  “Then let’s go.” Hell. She gestured to the cave’s entrance and attempted to tug him with her as she stepped toward it.

  “I don’t know what I’m doing.” His harsh whisper stilled her.

  No. She couldn’t have heard that right. Turning fully to face him, she squinted as if he might not be really Sedge. “What?”

  He released her and shook his head. “I don’t know how to fix the totem pole.”

  “No, no.” She held up her hands and closed them into fists. “You said you’re the only one who can reunite the totems. You’re Bear. You made the pole.”

  “I’m only a reincarnation of Bear.” He tur
ned his face from her. He worked his shoulders as he paced the length of the den. “I don’t know everything Bear once did. I know barely a fraction. I thought if I got the bear token, more of Bear would be awakened in me, but it chose… your sister.”

  Saskia didn’t want to believe it. He was Sedge, leader of the Black Shamans and a god. Okay, so maybe he didn’t know what to do, but he was still the most powerful of them all. “We’ll figure it out then. Just because you don’t know—”

  “No, not just because I don’t know. Because everyone will know I will fail them.” He exhaled with a hiss through his teeth.

  She thinned her lips. “You’re not going to tell me this all was because of your ego. No way. You don’t want anyone to think you know only as little as the rest of us?” She threw up her arms. “So what? We’re all in the dark about it. We’ll figure it out somehow. We have to.”

  “You’re not getting it.” Sedge growled. “The others already don’t trust me. Why would they believe me when I say I don’t know what to do? They’ll think I’m lying, trying to move ahead with my own agenda.”

  “Which is the same agenda as theirs, to save all shifters by reuniting the totems and safeguarding the pole.”

  His jaw clenched as his lips thinned. “They are poisoned against me.”

  “Then show them you aren’t the bad guy.” Her demand echoed in the den.

  Sedge marched up to her and pounded a fist against his chest. “I attacked your sister. In that moment, I believed I had to kill the mother bear to get the token. Kinley stood in the way of that, and I would have made certain she could not stop me. An apology won’t make up for that.”

  Saskia stared at him. Did he just admit he would have killed her sister? Her love for him battled with the fierce protectiveness she had for her family. She wanted to punch something, anything.

  “And how do you think I feel? I held back Mett, Lucky, and Kinley’s rabid boyfriend while you fought her.” She poked him on the chest. “I’m going back. I’ll say I’m sorry, and they’ll give me shit and I’ll eat it, and then we can heal. You need to come with me. We’re a tribe, and we’ll work it out together and be stronger in the end.”

  “I’m the outsider, the one who—”

  “The one who I love.” Saskia couldn’t take any more of his excuses. She loved the overconfident, arrogant man who followed when she ran from him and waited patiently until she worked out her own feelings. A man who was so certain she loved him and would be there for him that he left her stuck in the realm of the Salmon People while he handed himself over to a sea hag.

  She grabbed his coat and pulled him toward her. “You aren’t an outsider. You’re mine.”

  Sedge bent his head, his mouth less than an inch from hers. They breathed in the same air, and their exhalations misted together.

  Her abdomen quivered. One kiss might distract him, lure him to follow her back. On the other hand, one kiss might distract her and have her staying in the cave for another night with him.

  “Don’t go.” The tip of his nose touched hers. His half-hooded dark brown eyes so sexy.

  “I have to.” She corrected that. It was difficult to think so close to him. “We have to.”

  His hands covered hers and detached them from his coat. So slow. His thumbs skimmed over the top of her knuckles. He set her hands by her sides and turned away from her.

  Not one word uttered, but his answer was clear.

  Her mouth worked with a silent release. Grief, anger, hurt.

  Saskia twisted away from him and stormed out of the cave.

  Saskia shifted and ran south. The deep cold of January bit at her even with all her fur. The mountains on Kodiak Island were not kind, but she didn’t let anything slow her. The faster she got away from the den the better.

  Stopping on the edge of Lucky’s land, she stared at the grand house from a distance. She returned to her human form and bundled up by summoning a thick parka.

  The pull of the other totems in the house threatened to drag her there if she decided to turn back. She’d made the right choice. It was the thousandth time she told herself that. She couldn’t turn her back on her family, on all the shifters of the world. Sedge was an adult. If he wanted to sulk like a child, then it was his stupid-ass decision.

  But he was hurt. He was alone. Dammit, she hated leaving him. But she’d hate herself even more if she stayed.

  So here she was. Watching the house like some creepy stalker, yet unable to move her feet forward.

  Saskia dug her hands into her pockets. All she had to do was go up to the door, knock, apologize, and face her punishment. They weren’t going to tell her to go away, even though they had every right to do so.

  Being wrong sucked.

  Taking a deep breath, Saskia huffed it out and removed her hands from within the coat. She walked toward the house from the back and hopped over the fence. Her pace slowed the closer she got. Until thirty feet away, she stopped. Why did this have to be so hard?

  The back door opened. Kinley stepped out. The wind whipped at her long hair as Ametta ducked under it to come outside as well.

  Saskia swallowed hard. She’d practiced her apology a hundred times in her head, but her mouth refused to open.

  Weird how much she’d missed her sisters. Even weirder how much older they looked. She’d always seen them as so young. Kinley was seven years younger than Saskia and Ametta even younger at ten years’ difference. That age gap assured they never seemed more than teenagers to her.

  It was in their eyes. They’d seen and lived through so much these past months.

  It hadn’t been years since Saskia had left, right? It had only been three weeks. Damn, how things could change in such a short period of time.

  Behind her sisters, Lucky and Ransom watched from the door. Both men wore wary looks. Saskia didn’t blame them. But she wasn’t a danger to anyone there. It was her job as much as theirs to protect her sisters. Her mom had her promise all those years ago.

  Kinley surged forward and caught Saskia in a tight hug. “I’m so glad you’re back.”

  This was one of the things Saskia feared. Absolute forgiveness from Kinley. She hadn’t even made complete atonement with herself.

  Saskia patted her sister’s back as Ametta walked forward. No running for her. Rather it was like a march to war.

  Once Kinley let Saskia go, Ametta stared hard at Saskia and then embraced her. “Don’t ever do that again.”

  Hugging her much shorter sister, Saskia nodded. Energy tingling from their tokens in connection to hers made a buzz in her ears. Coming back was the right thing.

  “I’m sorry.” There. Saskia more blurted it than offered it up with humble respect, but it was out.

  “You’d better be.” Ametta led the way back into the house. Yup, she was so going to make Saskia eat crap for her bad judgment. Maybe with a ranting lecture or probably just holding it over her head every time they disagreed about something.

  “We were so worried. Things have been…” Kinley shook her head and glanced behind them. “Where’s Sedge?”

  Saskia’s hands curled into fists. Would her sisters really forgive him too? Likely. Damn, she wished she could be as sympathetic. The anger and hate she carried curdled her ability to empathize. “He’s not here.”

  “Clearly.” Ametta stepped inside, wiped her wet boots on the mat, and looked pointedly at Saskia and Kinley with a silent command they do the same.

  “He’s coming, though, right?” Kinley obediently dried off her boots.

  “I don’t… No.” Saskia wasn’t good at pretending everything would be okay. It wasn’t going to be. Things had gone to shit, and now she had to lead the way to fixing it. She had no idea how, but she’d figure it out. Somehow.

  “Welcome back.” Lucky held out a hand and smiled. A smile a little warmer than Ametta’s, but not the full on Lucky smile. “We’re glad you’re all right.”

  “Thanks.” Saskia shook his hand and tried really hard to ignore Ran
som when he stepped forward and spread his arms. No, she shouldn’t do that, but she was not going to hug the annoying lynx shifter. She turned and held out her hand to him too.

  “Hey, no hug? That’s cool. Manly handshake time.” Ransom shrugged a little and clasped forearms with Saskia in a Black Shaman type of greeting. Or maybe from one of his geek shows. “We’re so glad you’re back, big sister salmon. There’s been some shit going on.”

  Saskia tensed. Not at the surge of touching one token bearer to another, or the fact it was Ransom being Ransom, but at his news. She shouldn’t have run off with Sedge. Sure, her sisters and Lucky could turn into bears, but they weren’t trained fighters. Their enemy had a great advantage over them.

  Kinley shut and locked the door behind them. It punctuated Ransom’s words ominously.

  “Tell me.” Saskia needed to dive right back into it, but her youngest sister intervened.

  “No. Not yet. Where were you all this time? What happened? And where’s Sedge?” Ametta walked in behind the kitchen island and pointed to the coffee maker.

  Saskia wanted to scream yes for a cup, but instead more calmly nodded as she walked around everyone to stand against the far side of the island. She peeked up to see the pots hanging reflect the dark circles around her eyes and her thin pale face. More than coffee was needed, but she’d take that first.

  “We were just out in the mountains, in a den. There’s nothing to tell.” Saskia hated seeing all the looks of pity. Why couldn’t they just hit her a few times? That would be easier to take.

  Ametta snorted and shook her head as she poured water in the machine to brew the coffee. “There’re tons to tell, and you’re just being stubborn. We will talk about it. But for now, we need to catch you up on things.”

  Saskia placed her hands flat on the counter and leaned forward as Ametta motioned to the others.

  “Azarius has given up trying to be subtle. He’s no longer trying to convince us to hand over our tokens to him. He’s trying to take them.” Kinley’s mouth tightened as she laid a hand on her chest. The tattoo wasn’t visible as she had on a blue hoodie, but the bear token was underneath. Saskia still found it hard to believe it chose her sister over Sedge who was Bear himself. But maybe after how Sedge had been acting…