True Shifter

by Rains, Christine

  Saskia dashed forward again, zigzagging and kicking up snow. Not for a second did she believe Az was distracted by the presence of the others around him, but he’d be very aware of them.

  Lucky cocked back a fist and launched it when Saskia was but five feet away from Azarius. Az twisted to the side to knock away the attack and yet the stance would still be on the defensive with Saskia. Let him stay planted. It made him a better target.

  She traded her bunny ears for antlers. Shifting into a reindeer, she aimed to skewer the fucker. She dipped her head and tossed it up…

  Finding nobody there to hit.

  Saskia snorted her surprise as a small monkey swung from her antlers with a screech. He jumped off, landed on Ametta, and slashed at her chest with his knife. Blood dotted Ametta’s pale skin as she screamed.

  It all happened in the same second.

  Lucky cried Ametta’s name as he lunged for the monkey. Kinley dove and caught Ametta as she fell back. Saskia reverted back to her human form and managed to grab Azarius’ tail. She yanked him back just as his blade grazed the tip of Lucky’s nose.

  Azarius flipped and shifted midair, landing on his human feet. “It seems I cannot cut off the tokens. And with Bear dead, it leaves me with only one option to retrieve them.”

  Lucky charged, leading with his shoulder.

  Saskia wanted to yell at him to stop, but it was too late. She’d use it to her advantage. Crouching down, she flicked out her leg with the intent of tripping Azarius if he tried to dodge Lucky.

  Instead, Azarius leapt up and over Lucky, rolled over Lucky’s back, and stabbed him in the side from behind. No action movie star could make it look any easier.

  Lucky collapsed on the ground next to her sisters with a prolonged groan.

  “Bastard!” Ametta shrieked, trying to push out of Kinley’s hold to stand. And when she couldn’t, she reached to wrap her arms around Lucky as she whimpered his name.

  “He’s not dead. Yet.” Azarius wiped his blade clean again and crooked a finger at Saskia. “Is that all you have in you, Saskia? Animals from your northern home? You’ve always had a lack of imagination. If you have a power like my own, you can turn into any creature.”

  Saskia didn’t move, didn’t answer. What could she say? She didn’t know what else to turn into that would kill him.

  She glanced at her sisters. Waiting to see what she would do next, they stared at her. If she had time, she could train. Kinley would be able to give her ideas of interesting and deadly animals. But all she could do was fight him with the skills he had taught her.

  “Come on. I have drawn blood on your sisters. I have killed your mate.” Azarius gestured to Bear’s body with his knife. “I killed your father. And your mother, who knew too much with her psychic abilities, I would have killed her too, but conveniently, the cancer did it for me. Maybe I should have encouraged the cancer in you, told you that modern medicine would be no help. You would have listened to me.”

  Saskia jerked and folded her arms across her body as if she’d just been socked in the gut. Because what he said was true. She would have listened to him. She would have done anything for him.

  “Saskia?” Kinley’s voice sounded so young. “You had cancer?”

  Shaking her head, Saskia waved a hand. “Years ago. It’s gone. I’m fine now.”

  “You had cancer and didn’t tell us?” Ametta cried and chucked a handful of snow at Saskia. “You could have died like Mom. You could have died!”

  “It doesn’t matter!” Saskia shouted back at them. “Can’t you see what he’s doing? He’s trying to break us down. He’s toying with us. The past, the cancer… It doesn’t matter.”

  Just as she said it, she knew it to be false.

  It did matter. It shaped who she had been. She’d lived for years holding tight to the secret. Only Az had known, but he wasn’t the most sympathetic companion. It had kept her from having a life with Sedge, with anyone.

  It mattered. Because it wasn’t only Az who made her into who she was. Even though she pushed away, her family had always been there for her.

  Her salmon token squirmed on her chest as if it were twisting in a shallow pool.

  It mattered, and those memories along with her family could help her defeat him.

  The first of the few spells Azarius had taught Saskia years ago was to create light. She’d struggled with it, and when he couldn’t get her to conjure shining images in her head to project through the spell, he coaxed her to use a memory. While she sucked in the imagination department, some memories were so brilliant in her mind they worked to do what she needed.

  The astral may not have been a total void, but it was that uncut hunk of wood, which could be shaped. Azarius could do it, and even Kinley had started to master it.

  “Kin, Mett, do you remember when we were kids, and Mom would take us out back to the field where there were like a million fireflies?” Saskia glanced at her sisters over her shoulder and then dipped her head and closed her eyes. The clearing they were in, it wasn’t snowy. It was summer. Warm and lush. The grass almost to her knees and wildflowers so colorful even at twilight.

  “What are you talking about?” Ametta sniffled.

  “I remember.” Kinley’s tone softened.

  Saskia recalled the rich organic scent of those nights. A smell full of life. The ground was soft under her feet. She’d always gone without shoes if she could. “We would all spin around, like dancing among the stars.”

  She began to spin. Those thousands of little insects glowing so brightly. Their lights would blur the faster she twirled. Like comets zooming through the cosmos. “Remember with me.”

  “What are you doing?” Azarius asked, an odd stiffness in his voice.

  He wasn’t there. Not in her memory.

  “I liked to pretend I was an astronaut exploring space.” Kinley said.

  Beside Saskia, she could feel a slight swoosh of air again and again. Her sister spinning beside her.

  “Oh my God. It’s one of the few things I remember.” Ametta breathed out with a sniff. “I would race through the field, making a path for myself through the stars. Then Mom would catch me and pick me up, twirling me around.”

  “You’d laugh and scream at the same time,” Kinley added.

  Saskia could hear the grass rustling as more feet joined the dance. Ametta did have an immense screeching laugh when she was a toddler. When she laughed, so did the rest of them, especially their Mom.

  While Kinley was the explorer and Ametta the path maker, Saskia wanted to be the stars. To be bright and fiery, forever happy up in the sky.

  The shining field of stars greeted her when Saskia opened her eyes. It was just like she remembered. Her sisters—both as they were now and the child versions including her own preteen self—spun around and raced through the long grass. She ignored Bear’s body to her left and Lucky to her right.

  Azarius remained still, frowning at the show before him.

  Now Saskia could be the stars. She closed her eyes again and exploded. Well, she hoped it looked that way. She shifted into a firefly in a great firework of others. Then she zipped low and through the grass near her spinning child self.

  The small Kinley and Ametta laughed and frolicked as if nothing were wrong with the world. Even Saskia’s younger self wore a serene smile. When was the last time she’d ever smiled like that?

  Her first instinct was to fly behind Azarius and shift, taking the knife from him and stabbing him. And no matter how badly she wanted to do it, he’d expect it. His tense stance told her he was ready for an attack.

  “I can still sense where you are, Saskia.” Azarius stalked across the field toward her. “Your totem calls to mine.”

  Saskia fluttered deeper into the grass. Could he really sense which little insect she was among all the others? He couldn’t. She put all of herself into this memory, into every firefly. Would the thing she was trying to protect from him be the thing that gave her away?

  He
didn’t hesitate. He sped up his pace and slashed at the young Saskia.

  As his weapon went right through her, Saskia flew off to the opposite end of the field.

  “Let’s not play these games.” Azarius’ voice rose. “Come face me, or I will kill your sisters.”

  As he strode over to adult Kinley, Saskia’s body quivered. First with rage that he would hurt her sisters, but then with the realization he didn’t sense exactly where she was. And while it had worked, it wouldn’t for long. Not when he went for Kinley.

  Saskia needed his knife. She needed to… The second blade. The one still in Bear’s belly.

  She flew with all the clumsy speed she could muster toward the fallen polar bear. Azarius called her name again, but she couldn’t stop. If she did, she’d lose her chance.

  Landing on the bloody side out of view from the others, Saskia shifted and lay low on the ground. She gripped the knife with one hand and put the other on his gut. Still warm. Tears burned her eyes.

  She wanted to lie against him, whisper to him how much she loved him. Was there even enough of a soul left to hear her?

  No. No time for grieving.

  She peeked up over the hump of his torso. Azarius stood beside the still twirling Kinley. He raised his arm, waiting, and when Saskia didn’t reveal herself, he brought his blade down.

  Saskia’s stomach rolled and tightened. She opened her mouth to scream.

  The knife went through Kinley. The image of her sister still spun.

  It wasn’t really Kin.

  Saskia pressed her head against Bear’s thick fur. So clever of Kinley, making her adult self just an illusion. But was she masquerading as her child self? The children were in constant motion all over the field and keeping their distance from Azarius.

  He’d figure it out. He probably already did. Saskia needed to get up to him, surprise him, stab him right under the chin.

  She couldn’t do it as a firefly. Way too small to carry the knife.

  Azarius dashed after a skipping young Ametta.

  No time to think through this. He told her to expand out of her northern home. Low and fast.

  Saskia shifted. Four legs, buggy eyes, scales, and a tail. She had no idea what this type of lizard was called, but a friend of hers kept them. And the critters were quick. Picking up the knife in her toothless mouth, she ran in a winding pattern to disturb as little of the grass as she could.

  A little girl’s scream. Faster. How big was this fucking field?

  The scream turned into laughter. Just toddler Ametta squealing.

  Great hulking mass ahead. Azarius. So close.

  “Saskia!” Rage made his shout turn into a snarl.

  She froze, pressing to the ground. Fireflies. A swarm of bugs around him. Swirling, dancing, bright. So bright.

  Saskia shifted into her human form, snatched the knife from her mouth, and drove it into his calf, raking it upward. She kept the momentum going. From his thigh to hip and under his right arm. He’d tried to get out of the way, so it wasn’t a solid line, but flesh and muscle gaped. Blood pooled around him as he fell to his knees.

  She stood over him. Her mentor, her best friend, her enemy.

  The three blond girls still danced in the field. The adult images gone. From behind a tree near Lucky, the real Ametta and Kinley crept out holding hands. Kinley’s eyes were glazed while there was a fire in Ametta’s.

  Out of the corner of her eyes, she caught the glimpse of a cat’s eyes from the grass, and standing five feet behind them…

  “Dad?”

  Azarius pushed up with his good leg and drove his blade into Saskia’s abdomen. He then shifted into a raven and attempted to fly off. But with his wounds, he couldn’t get more than a few feet off the ground before tumbling down again.

  Saskia didn’t cry out. She dropped her knife as she pressed her hands to her gut. Don’t move. Don’t take the blade out. Those were the things she was taught not to do.

  She’d been so close. And if she was going to die, she was going to take the bastard with her.

  Saskia turned just as the lynx leapt out and pinned Azarius to the ground. Ransom opened his jaws, but her father called out.

  Her dad.

  Was he a part of this memory?

  “Don’t. We need his soul intact. But we can make sure he stays in one place.” Her father jogged over and picked up the knife Azarius dropped. He then slammed it through the uninjured wing close to the raven’s body and staked him to the ground. “There.”

  Ransom bared his teeth once more at Azarius before racing over to Kinley’s side and nuzzling her bloody hands.

  “How come…?” Saskia winced as she tried to talk and gestured to Ransom with her head. Why was he in his animal form here and the rest of them weren’t? Was he more lynx than human?

  “Don’t talk or move.” Her dad placed a hand on her shoulder. “You’ll be fine. I’ll make sure of it.”

  Saskia shook her head, just a bit. She’d be fine? She had a knife in her belly. How she was still standing, she didn’t know. Any second she’d fall over.

  “Dad, is that really you?” Tears tumbled from Ametta’s eyes as she hovered over Lucky and stroked his hair. A soft moan came from his still prone body.

  Her father nodded. “Ransom found me in the land of the dead and led me here. Well, to the cave and then we stepped into the astral. Bear has a task for me.”

  Saskia opened her mouth to tell him, but Ametta spoke for her. “Bear’s dead.” She pointed to the unmoving bear body. “Azarius killed him.”

  A tear trickled down Saskia’s cheek. If she fell over now, pushing the blade the rest of the way through, would she see Sedge in the land of the dead?

  “He’s not dead.” Her father’s statement seemed to shatter the memory. No more field of fireflies and laughing little girls. Just snow and blood. He squeezed Saskia’s shoulder. “Do you see a man’s body there? He’s hurt, unable to return to the astral plane, and waiting back in the cave for you all.”

  Bear was still alive? Saskia’s legs shook and gave way.

  Her dad caught her and eased her down to the ground near Azarius who no longer struggled, but followed them with cold black eyes.

  Her father sat her against a rock. “Take it easy. I’ll send you back to—”

  “Wait!” Saskia coughed and groaned. She gripped his forearm. She didn’t want to leave him yet. But Bear, maybe Sedge himself, was waiting.

  “Dad.” Kinley came over and wrapped her arms around him. “I miss you so much.”

  “It’s okay, hon.” He kissed the top of Kinley’s head and gave her a squeeze. “Go take Mett and Lucky back. The old bird missed Lucky’s kidney, thankfully. The cave, don’t forget, it quickens your healing.” He nuzzled her hair. “I know you’ll take care of everyone, but take care of yourself too.”

  “I love you.” Kinley wiped the tears from her cheeks as she hurried over to where Lucky was lying.

  Ametta dashed over and threw her arms around their father. “I’m so sorry!”

  Her dad stroked Ametta’s head. “Shush now. It wasn’t your fault. The bastard is tricky. Don’t you dare carry around that weight.” He tugged her back to look her in the eyes. “It’s not your fault.”

  Ametta’s chin trembled. “I love you, Dad.”

  “I love you too. All you girls. Now go on and get your man back to his body. The sooner he’s back in it, the better.”

  Kissing his cheek, Ametta dashed to Lucky’s side, and the three of them vanished. Her sisters… It was good they had a chance to say goodbye to their dad. Maybe the weight she’d seen them carrying from it would ease.

  Ransom padded closer to Azarius and glanced down at the raven and back to her dad.

  “Go on, cat. I’m in control here. See that my daughter is taken care of.” Her father made a shooing gesture. “And thank you.”

  The lynx bobbed his head once and turned, but Saskia called to him and coughed on his name. She cleared her throat and tried again.
“Ransom, thank you so much.”

  If cats could smile, that’s what he did. Ransom winked and disappeared.

  Saskia turned her gaze to her father. So much she wanted to say, but she couldn’t talk, or shouldn’t. “We shouldn’t have involved you. We—”

  “Don’t you dare think such things. That hunt was my right as much as yours. I died protecting my daughter. I’m a hero with rights to choose my next incarnation.” He puffed out his chest and then softened his expression. “Bear sent for me to keep Azarius tied up here in the astral while he did the ritual to reunite the totems. He thought maybe just outright killing the bird might make the raven totem fly off, so as long as Azarius is living through the ritual, he can do it. Then I can deal out justice here, so you don’t have to do it.”

  “But I want—”

  “You’re not a killer, Saskia. No matter how hard he tried to make you one.” Her dad shot Azarius a hateful look. “And he may have killed you. I don’t know how deep it goes. Bear was in his animal form when he was stabbed in the gut. So… all those layers of fat and fur. He went back to his body before the second blow. And using a little of that trickster’s cleverness, he left the image of his body to make Azarius overconfident. Bear knew that only you and your sisters could bring Azarius down. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.”

  Saskia shook her head. If she died, she died, but she wouldn’t have him thinking he could have protected her. It was her own fault. She’d allowed herself to get distracted.

  “Hey, a father is allowed to say those things. No matter how much trouble you caused me, and holy hell, you caused a lot of trouble, you are still my daughter. And I’m damned proud of you.” He kissed the top of her head. “I’m going to send you back. It’s likely going to be even more painful back in your physical body. Then you fight to live. You fight hard. But…” He swallowed hard. “But if you pass on, your mom and I will be waiting for you.”

  There was nothing Saskia could say to that even if she wanted. Hot tears stole her vision. Her mom and dad. How wonderful that sounded, but there was the chance Sedge was waiting for her. She had to see.