The Fat And The Thin Of It

by Julie Croft

on her bedside table. Jill was already munching on hers, still staring at the TV.

  “Has the world come to an end yet?” Jackie asked as she shuffled to the bed and flopped down.

  “Nope, but you’ll be one of the first to know when it does, love.” Jill answered through a mouthful of bread.

  Jackie grabbed her sandwich and water and downed them both quickly. She was absolutely ravenous as well as dying of thirst and she felt a lot better after putting something solid into her stomach.

  Jill sighed and rolled off her bed. “I’m going to get ready for bed,” She grabbed her suitcase and chucked it on the luggage stool. “If you want to go to sleep, turn the light off and I’ll manage in the dark.”

  Jackie was already half asleep and she raised a limp hand but couldn’t be bothered to answer. She was aware of something fluffy being thrown over her body, then she felt a light kiss on her forehead before dreamily hearing the click of the bathroom door being shut.

  Jill woke and looked at her watch. It was eight o’clock.

  “Right.” She whispered to herself, and after fumbling in her handbag in the semi-darkness for a bit, she found her mobile and took it into the bathroom.

  Jill glanced at Jackie and saw she was still sound asleep and snoring lightly. She closed the bathroom door quietly and tapped and swished on her phone until she found the number she was looking for.

  “Hello, you mangy scumbag, it’s Jill.” She said in a low voice. “Guess where I am and guess who I’m with.”

  There was a long silence on the other line, then a voice mumbled. “Oh, fuck.”

  Jill let Bob digest the news and waited for him to say something else. “What has Richard told you?” he finally asked.

  “Well, obviously where you are and who you’re with, but he’s been vague about exactly why you’re here – apart from a pregnant mistress – and where all the cash you gave Jackie came from. But, I have to warn you that your wife isn’t as stupid as you thought and she’s put two and two together, just as I have.”

  There was a whistle of breath down the line and into her ear. “So why are you here? She’s got the money so what else does she want?”

  It was Jill’s turn to digest what she’d heard, but it gave her a massive attack of heartburn. He really was the heartless and selfish bastard she’d had him fathomed for. “What she wants, shit face, is a bit more than six hundred grand of laundered cash!” oh, she was boiling. “Do you know what she’s been doing? She’s been trying to work out how to eke out that money for the rest of her life, while you’re here living in a bloody villa perched over the San Antonio harbour screwing Corleone’s daughter!”

  “I wasn’t going to just leave her with that, Jill! I’m going to make sure she gets more on a regular basis.” Bob protested.

  “Oh, how very generous of you!” Jill snarled, trying to keep her voice down. “And how were you going to get it to her? Hidden in the guts of a cargo of rabbits, perhaps?”

  No answer, so she pressed on. “Jackie wants to see you and I’m calling to tell you we’ll be at your villa by eleven o’clock…”

  “Impossible, I’ve got to…”

  “Make it possible or she’s planning on telling the police about you and the money.”

  “What?”

  “She wants to talk to you face to face about a lot of things, but most of all she wants to know what to tell your children. You do remember you have two children, don’t you? So,” she continued before he could confirm or deny that. “Jackie has to tell them something and she’d like to consult with you exactly what that will be. And, if you have any intention of ever seeing them again, which is quite logical isn’t it? But,” she ploughed on as she was on a roll. “She’s bitter, confused and feels completely lost and fragile, and unless you reassure her that you will make future provisions for her she will go to the police. She doesn’t care what might happen to her if she does, but she wants peace of mind and, of course, revenge. So, Robert Walker, be home at eleven o’clock and face her like a man!”

  She hung up and leaned against the shower door. She’d risked telling Bob that little white lie about the police because she wanted to put the shits up him, but it was also putting Jackie in a risky position. Both women agreed that Bob kept dodgy company, and both women saw white suits toting machine guns and nailing hapless folks’ knees to the floor, and both women worried that something nasty could happen to Jackie thanks to stink-bag Bob. Still, she’d said it now and she was going to be at Jackie’s side, come what may.

  Jill opened the door and peeped through the darkness at Jackie. She was still asleep, still lightly snoring, so she went to the phone and dialled room service for breakfast. While she was speaking on the phone, Jackie roused and rolled over. She looked a bit confused for a couple of seconds, as if she didn’t know where she was, then Jill saw realisation dawn on her face and she smiled, then frowned, then turned her head to look at her with wide eyes.

  “What time is it?” she asked.

  Jill checked her watch. “Eight twenty-five.”

  “Is it too early to call Bob?”

  Jill sighed. “I’ve already done that, love. We’re seeing him at eleven.”

  Jackie sat up brusquely. “Why did you do that? I wanted to call him!” she whined.

  “You’ll have all the time in the world to speak to him when you see him, but I wanted to make sure you didn’t fall to pieces or have an argument with him which might have put the brakes on a meet-up.” Jill soothed. “Now, you have a couple of hours to prepare what you want to say to him and what you want him to do for you.” Jackie was scowling at her, but she ignored it. “Plus, I’ve ordered two continental breakfasts with tea and orange juice because I know how much you like croissants and hot rolls. Actually I do, too, and I’m willing to risk doing a disappearing act for them.” she smiled cheekily.

  Jackie’s face softened a little and she sighed. “I’ve got to pee.”

  She sat on the loo and her stomach did a flip-flop. It wasn’t her bowels, just the thought of seeing Bob in a little over two hours. She didn’t have a clue what she’d say to him and what she’d want from him. She wanted him, period, and that’s what she wanted to say more than anything.

  When she went back into the room, Jill had swished back the curtains and was standing on the terrace. “The view’s not that good, but it’s surprisingly warm out here, considering it’s January.” She turned and looked at Jackie. “Shall we have breakfast out here?”

  “Yeah, whatever.” She wrapped the towelling robe round her and went out to Jill. “You’re right,” she said, scanning the scenery. “It’s not that great and it’s not that cold.”

  The hotel room didn’t have a view of the sea. It looked over the northern part of the town and Jackie spotted hills right in front of them. “Do you think that’s where Bob lives with Triple F?” she pointed to the hills.

  “Oh, so he isn’t overlooking the harbour.” Jill muttered.

  She turned to Jackie. “Do you know what you’re going to say to him?” Jackie shook her head. “Shall we talk about it over breakfast?” she nodded.

  There was a knock at the door, and before one of them could answer it, a waiter swished in with a trolley. “Buenos dias!” he chirped. “Han dormido bien, señoras?”

  The two women stared at him as he wheeled the trolley onto the terrace. “Iu no espik Espaniss?” he smiled, and they shook their heads. “Okay, ay bring iu bregfast,” he rolled the trolley out to the terrace, which held a large basket filled with croissants, rolls and triangles of toast, a huge pot of tea and two fluted glasses of orange juice. There were little pats of butter and tiny tins of jam, too. “Iu ghaf all iu want, yes?” he swept his hand towards the trolley, introducing them to their breakfast. They nodded with smiles. “Okay, I leef you ladies to enjoy. Adios!”

  Jackie sat at the small, round iron table and pulled the trolley towards her. “Shall I be Mummy?” she asked as she lifted the teapot.

  “Please, Mummy.
” Jill replied. “It’s my turn to pee now.”

  Jackie poured two cups of tea and added milk, then sat staring at the trolley with her hands in her lap. It was a rare moment, because she wasn’t hungry. Usually, anxiety made her want to stuff anything edible in the litter bin some people called ‘mouth’ and keep her jaws in perpetual motion, but she was looking at the croissants, she could smell them, even, but it wasn’t doing it for her. What she really fancied was a stiff Scotch, another rare moment as she wasn’t big on drink. Perhaps the trauma of Bob leaving her had changed her metabolism round and she’d now starve her sadness out, like Jill? Perhaps she should buy a peddling thingy like hers as well?

  “Christ, woman; another penny for them.” Said Jill as she walked onto the terrace. “You carry on like that and you won’t need alimony from Bob.”

  Jackie looked up, puzzled. “Alimony? Why alimony?”

  Jill sat down and took a sip of tea. “Alimony is the money allotted to the wife and kids when a couple gets divorced.”

  “Divorce?” Jackie’s eyes widened. “Who said anything about a divorce?”

  Jill put her cup down with a huff and looked at Jackie. “Love, didn’t you come here to sort out things for you and Mark?”

  “Yes! But I never said anything about asking for a divorce! I wanted to talk him into leaving Triple F and coming back to us!” she thought that had been obvious; hadn’t it?

  Jill frowned and bit