With These Wings

by Wendy Knight

  “Nyx, that’s not what I meant—”

  She started to turn away, but whirled back on him. “You want me to be human. Fine. But I’m not, and I don’t want to be. I don’t want to be helpless and weak. Like you. Go back to RayAnna. She needs you. I don’t.” She turned her back on him and ran, disappearing into the darkness.

  Like me.

  “She doesn’t want you. I tried to tell you, Cole.” RayAnna looked positively smug. Cole could only stare at her, completely confused.

  “I have no idea what just happened.”

  “You told her that you didn’t want her to be part alien.” RayAnna nodded, pushing herself to her feet and brushing away her tears. She took his hand. “Let’s go. I want to help with the garden.”

  He didn’t move, still staring at her. “I can’t, RayAnna.”

  It was slowly starting to dawn on him, the aching, tearing realization — something he remembered all too well. He’d lost Nyx once. And now he’d lost her again. But this time, it was his fault.

  RayAnna tugged on his hand. “Come on, Cole.”

  He pulled his hand away. “RayAnna, I love you. You know that. But I don’t love you like I should. I don’t think—I don’t think I ever did. You gave me something to take care of, and I was trying to make amends for losing Phoenyx.”

  “It doesn’t matter, Cole. You told me then that you couldn’t love me like that. I’m okay with it. I always have been. It’s like—my mom died when I was twelve. My dad started dating a few years later, just to take his mind off it. He found someone else, and he married her, even though he didn’t love her like he loved my mom. He loved her enough.” She shrugged and took his hand again.

  Cole shook his head slowly. “No one deserves that, RayAnna.”

  She whirled on him, crossing her arms over her chest, sticking out one hip. “She doesn’t want you, Cole! She’s a freaking super model now. She’s a goddess. She can have anyone! Let her go!”

  He blinked at her, waves of pain rolling over him.

  “You don’t want her, Cole. You want Phoenyx. She doesn’t even want to be Phoenyx again.”

  Cole felt like he’d been hit in the stomach with a wrecking ball. Her words were awful, and not true.

  Except.

  Except that was exactly what he’d said to her, wasn’t it?

  RayAnna shrugged. “You can’t have her. But you can still have me, Cole.” She leaned up on her toes, brushing a kiss softly across his lips. His eyes, against his will, fell closed as she slid closer, pressing her body against his.

  “No.”

  He jerked away, away from the safe and comfortable. “No, RayAnna. I’m sorry. It’s not fair to you.”

  She threw her hands up. “Do you think it was fair that I followed you around like a puppy for all these months, waiting for you to forget about her? Do you think it was fair that after all that, she shows up and immediately, you’re MIA? I hear everyone whisper. You’re so brave. You’re so fearless,” she sneered, “because you’ll chase after the alien girl.”

  “Guardian. We call her our guardian,” Justin said, coming around the corner, holding his electric lamp high. “No one calls her the alien girl anymore.”

  RayAnna huffed, glaring at them both. Cole waited for Justin to leave. When he didn’t, Cole backed away. “I’m sorry, RayAnna. You’re right. It wasn’t fair then. It’s not fair now. That’s why I’m doing this. Even if she—even if she never forgives me, it doesn’t change us.”

  She whirled around, grabbed Justin’s lantern out of his hands, and ran down the tunnel.

  With a startled grunt, Justin turned to go after his light.

  “Hey,” Cole said, “Take care of her for me?”

  Justin shrugged. “Sure. Why not?”

  “DO YOU KNOW HOW to take blood?” Nyx asked Blair, startling him nearly off his stool in the old restaurant on 25th. She inched around the sun shining through the windows to stand next to him.

  He raised his beer to her. “Thirsty?”

  “No. Beer is gross. And I don’t drink.”

  Blair raised an eyebrow, grinning. “Too young?”

  “Too alien. I feed on darkness. So? Can you?”

  “Well, that’s not morbid at all,” the guy sitting next to him said. But he didn’t look afraid, which was weird and a little disconcerting. She flashed him an apologetic smile before turning back to Blair.

  “I thought blood-drawing was Cole’s expertise.”

  “He’s unavailable. I need it done right now. It’s almost dark and I’m going hunting, but I want you to have a way to protect yourselves if you need to.”

  Blair shrugged. “I can probably figure it out. But it might hurt.”

  She smiled, but it was a sarcastic smile, despite her best efforts to hide it. “I think I’ll live.”

  Ten minutes later, Blair had found the vein and sunk the needle into her skin, and she watched the blue, fizzing and sparking blood escape through the tube and into the vials. “It looks like it could explode right out of that bottle,” Keven said, watching from the doorway.

  Blair didn’t look up from what he was doing. “Let’s hope not. It would probably kill us all.”

  Keven stepped outside the doorway, grinning. Nyx stuck her tongue out at him.

  “I don’t know how much is safe to take.” Blair said, looking at the vials on the table next to him. Two full, ten empty.

  “Fill them up. I’ll be fine. Just hurry, please.”

  Soon, Cole would come looking for her. Or Enika would, which was almost as bad. One of them would stop her, and she didn’t want to be stopped. She wanted to fly. She wanted freedom.

  She wanted to kill something.

  Unfortunately, she’d scared all the Garce away, so killing anything was going to take several days.

  “It’s not like you can go anywhere anyway, you giant bird. The sun’s still up.”

  Nyx shrugged. “It’s setting.”

  Finally, Keven gave an exaggerated sigh and came in. “Where ya goin’, Nyx?” he drawled. Blair looked up. The guy on his other side, who had been watching with interest, also stilled, waiting for her answer.

  “Away.”

  “Why?”

  “Because. There are aliens out there. No wait, can I change my answer?”

  Keven pursed his lips and frowned, so Nyx hurried on. “There might be humans out there. And I’m going to find them.”

  “Yeah. And any human won’t let you within a hundred yards of them, little bird. Plus our compound is maxed out. We can’t take any more people.”

  Nyx raised her chin and pushed black and blew hair out of her face. “Then I’ll start a new compound.”

  “You’re leaving us?” Other guy said.

  Nyx turned on him. “If we’re having this conversation, shouldn’t I at least know your name?” she snapped.

  He grinned. “Trigger.”

  “Nice to meet you, Trigger.” She held out her free hand. “I’m not leaving, leaving. I’m just… someone might need help.”

  “Then let one of The Nine do it,” Keven said through clenched teeth.

  “Who are The Nine?” Trigger asked. Out of the corner of her eye, Nyx saw Cole and Enika climbing out of the trap door. She groaned, dropping her head into her palm.

  “What’s going on?” Cole asked. Enika glared at her suspiciously.

  “Nyx was about to tell us about The Nine.” Trigger slid off his bar stool so Enika could sit down.

  “Why is Nyx draining her own blood as fast as she can?” she asked, taking the stool, still glaring.

  “She’s going hunting.”

  “What?” Cole growled. “Nyx, you can’t go flying off every time we have a fight—”

  “Is that what this is about?” Keven leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. “She’s not just threatening to ‘fly off’. She’s threatening to start her own compound.”

  “What?” Enika and Cole bellowed simultaneously. Nyx winced at the noise against her sensi
tive ears.

  Everyone stared at her. Blair hid a smile as he pulled out the needle and pushed a cotton swab against the puncture wound. “All done,” he mumbled.

  “So if you’re leaving us, what’s the blood for, Nyx?” Keven asked.

  “I still don’t know who The Nine are.” Trigger raised his hand.

  Enika’s scowl grew fiercer. “Don’t worry. You’re not the only one.”

  The sun sank behind the mountains in the distance, its rays slowly being smothered by the darkness. “The blood is for your own protection. I’ll be back when you need me.”

  Enika cried out, but Nyx was lightning fast. She dove through the window and into the sky before anyone even thought of going after her.

  She went straight up. Up, into the sky, around the clouds. She trailed her fingers through the rivers, felt the wind tug at her hair, at her wings. At the tears in her eyes. She was so stupid. So, so stupid.

  Because all she wanted to do was go back there and tell Cole that she loved him too.

  Which would all be well and good, except that Cole didn’t really love her. He loved Phoenyx. The human girl who had been taken from him. But that wasn’t her. Not anymore. Phoenyx was dead now.

  Angrily, she pumped her wings hard, going as high as she could without the dying rays of the sun hitting her, and then she tucked them in close and fell. Spreading her arms wide, she watched the ground come closer and closer, felt gravity gain control, and at the last possible second, she snapped her wings out, and nearly ripped them off when they jerked her to a stop.

  Her toes just brushed the ground.

  But she wasn’t made to walk anymore. She jumped into the air again and swirled in circles on the currents, wondering where she should go next. Maybe Keven was right. Maybe it was time to find The Nine.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  “SHE’S NOT COMING BACK, IS SHE?” Enika asked as Cole climbed out of the window onto the jail house ledge. She didn’t even look at him, just lowered her chin so it rested on her pulled up knees, eyes on the horizon, the way they’d been for the last two months, every night after sundown.

  Waiting for Nyx.

  “She’ll be back,” Cole said with a lot more confidence than he felt.

  Enika rolled her head sideways to look at him. “At least RayAnna forgave you, huh? It would really suck to be lonely in the middle of Armageddon.”

  Cole stiffened. “We aren’t together, Enika.”

  “Well, you’re sure not apart.”

  Judging by the fact that Enika had been avoiding him as much as possible and downright hostile when she was stuck in his presence, he was fairly confident that she blamed him for Nyx’s departure.

  Which was okay because he blamed him too.

  “Hey.” He nudged her and she scowled at him. Sighing, he lay back against the roof, staring at the skies, watching for the same thing Enika watched for. She glared at him for several seconds before she finally gave up and leaned back next to him.

  “I understand her being mad at you. You didn’t even wait to see if she was alive or dead—”

  “It was a year later, Enika! No one else on the planet escaped. How was I supposed to know she did?”

  Enika continued like he hadn’t spoken. “But me? I was loyal. I didn’t find a new best friend. I didn’t stop believing. And she left me too.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Why’d she leave me?”

  Cole scrubbed a hand over his face. “Because I drove her away.”

  She must have realized how badly those words hurt him, because her anger melted. “Well, way to go.” Enika kicked him lightly with her foot, a sad, teasing smile lighting her face, hiding the sadness.

  “Sorry.”

  “She might still come back. Keven said she was going after The Nine.”

  “Do we know what that is yet?” Cole asked.

  “Not a clue. Keven’s a stubborn one.”

  They sat in silence for several minutes, both watching the sky, praying like crazy.

  Please come back. Please come back. Please come back.

  “Keven said we’re running low on medical supplies. We need to make a hospital run soon.”

  That wasn’t all Keven had said. In a meeting they’d had a week ago, Keven had said the Garce were moving back in. Nyx had been gone for two months and Enika watched for her every night. The Garce were still out of her view, but Cole could feel the terror that came with them. And if the Garce came…

  So would the Pys.

  She flopped backward and leaned her head on his shoulder. “You won’t ever leave me, will you? Because everyone leaves—”

  “No, Enika. Nothing those damn aliens do will take me away from you. Ever.” He kissed the top of her head and they lay in silence, waiting for sunrise.

  “WE’RE RUNNING SHORT ON food.” Keven paced the small space underground that he’d claimed for his quarters, where they’d retreated to now that the Garce were coming back. “We just used our last dose of antibiotics, and strep is running rampant through the compound. Our garden is dead because no one dares work on it.” He grit his teeth and rubbed the back of his neck. “Without Nyx, we can’t be content to just hide out in the tunnels. We’re going to need a recon team.”

  “I’ll go,” Enika raised her hand immediately, trusty ax leaning against her chair.

  Keven smirked. “Why does that not surprise me?”

  “She’s coming back though, right?” Justin asked. “I mean, we were just getting used to her.”

  Blair nodded. “She wasn’t so scary. Sorta like a giant butterfly.”

  “That shot blood balls from her hands,” Justin reminded him and snickered.

  “Oh yeah. There was that.”

  Cole waited for them to blame him. Maybe they would throw him out in hopes that Nyx would come back. But the blame didn’t come, not from in here. Some of the others had talked about it though. Ironically, it was the same others who had tried to kill her before he and Enika had shown up.

  “I’ll go too.” Cole raised his hand. He wasn’t much use here. Blair was an electrician, and they needed him to keep the solar panels running. He also ran the colony when Keven wasn’t around, now that Nyx wasn’t there to keep everyone in line. Blair couldn’t go, even if he did want to.

  “I’ll go,” Justin said.

  Keven nodded. “Anybody else?”

  That left Trigger and the other guy, Damon, who was new and thought he was a badass. Keven raised an eyebrow, waiting.

  “Yeah. I’m in.” Trigger slapped his hands on the table and stood up. Grudgingly, Damon did too, although far less enthusiastic about it.

  “We leave an hour before dawn.”

  “Where we goin’?” Cole asked as he stood up.

  Keven chuckled, looking away.

  Never a good sign.

  “We’re going to hit Costco first. See if there’s anything left. If so, we’ll load up and make a trip back. Then we’ll use the tunnel system you and I found to get to Riverdale Road. From there, we’ll go east, to the smaller hospital that way.”

  Enika dragged her ax up the cement path to the door. “We need a bigger team.”

  Keven glanced at her, pushing open the door. “Why do you say that?”

  “Because, Keven. Garce.”

  Good point.

  “Cole’s big. And fast. You’re small and fast. We’ll be fine,” Keven said after everyone else left and it was just the three of them.

  “No, she’s right.” Cole nodded. “We won’t be fine. If the Garce come, we’ll lose our team. You’ve been living with Nyx so long, I think you’ve forgotten what life is like without a guardian.”

  “Who do you think built this place, exactly? Nyx didn’t come along for several months after the invasion. I didn’t forget—”

  “That’s not what he meant,” Enika interrupted, shoving Keven out the door. “He meant that we’ve been living on the run for a long time. We might be more familiar with the Garce’s new methods than you are.”


  “She’s placating me, isn’t she?” Keven asked Cole over his shoulder. Cole chuckled. “Fine. I’ll enlist more people. Rest up and be ready for tonight.” He turned down one hallway and Cole and Enika went down another.

  “You’re going out tonight?” RayAnna asked, pushing away from the wall. “I thought we were safe here.”

  Cole walked past her. “Yes.”

  “Why? Why you? Haven’t you fought enough?” She ran to catch up with him, tugging on his arm. “Let someone else go.”

  “Without Nyx, we have no way to bring in more food or medical supplies. We have nothing to chase the Garce off with, which means it’s not safe to go topside and take care of the garden.”

  “But—but I’ve—I’ve been sneaking. The garden is still alive.”

  Cole blinked at her in confusion. This wasn’t the RayAnna he’d been with for a year before they found the compound. She never did anything to put herself in danger. She was very good at staying out of danger, actually. “Why would you do that?”

  She shrugged, playing with one of the short strands of her spiky hair. “We don’t need a half-breed alien to take care of us.”

  Behind him, Enika huffed, swung her ax up, and in the ten seconds between when she lifted it and when she rested it on her shoulder, he wondered if she was going to chop RayAnna into tiny little pieces. Instead, Enika walked away, her boots crunching on the cement floor. She still slept in Nyx’s room.

  Cole did not.

  Mostly, because if she came home and found Cole there, she’d probably take off again.

  Home.

  This was home now. He lived underground. Like a mole. Or an ant. Humans had been top of the food chain, and now they weren’t doing much better than insects. And there was nothing they could do about it. They could barely survive, let alone fight back.

  He hung his head in defeat, and then realized RayAnna was still talking.

  “—we just need more seeds, and then—”

  “RayAnna, your garden is amazing. Fresh fruits and vegetables will do so much to keep this colony alive and healthy. But they won’t do everything. There are over 300 people here. And it’s already fall. Winter could show up any day.”