Damned

by Lynda O'Rourke

  Taking a deep breath, and truly feeling bad, I said, “Of course I haven’t! Don’t you think I would have told you?”

  “Not if the Devil’s inside your head you won’t,” mumbled Raven. She turned her back on me and headed over to the kitchen window.

  Nothing more would have pleased me than to have a go back at Raven but instead, I tried to stay calm. I forced a smile at Jude and Max and held out my hands, palms up as if to say, see – nothing’s wrong with me! I didn’t want to be locked up.

  Jude nodded his head at me. The expression across his face told me he was relieved, that he believed me.

  “Okay,” said Jude, “I trust you, Kassidy.” He turned to look at Max and Raven. “Come on, it’s time we went to see Langstone.”

  I wanted to say, that’s nice – but I don’t trust you. But I didn’t. In fact, now as we were all together in the kitchen, I was finding it increasingly hard to trust any of them. I didn’t like that. It didn’t feel good to be amongst people who you were no longer sure of. But what could I do? I was stuck here and I was stuck with them.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Ben

  I was unsure of how long I had been outside Doctor Langstone’s property, but it seemed that a night had passed and half a day had gone already. I stood just before the fog, cold and drenched. It moved slowly about, twisting and turning, yet the rain didn’t fall in it. The night was quiet and the fog seemed peaceful. But the silence was broken by Quint.

  “You going for it then, Ben?” said Quint. “You gonna go and fuck that little bitch?”

  Determined not to let Quint get to me and ruin my feelings of hope, I ignored him and took a step into the fog. Almost immediately, the fog seemed to swarm about me and the quiet demeanour it played was no more. I could hear muffled cries and screams and it turned my stomach. I knew what the Cleaners did. I had seen it all too often, and somehow their victims’ cries lingered within this foggy mass, haunting the very air I breathed.

  “Sorry, Ben,” said Quint. “But I can’t let you go any further. Not on your own, anyway.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked, peering through the thick mist.

  “Your body is too precious to me to let the Cleaners tear you up. If you want to get through, then you’re gonna need my help,” answered Quint.

  But before I could say anything, a figure appeared in the fog. It had come from the same direction that I had.

  “Doctor Fletcher,” nodded Inspector Cropper. “It seems we are on the same trail as each other. I take it you’re here for the volunteers?”

  I stepped out from the fog, well, not me exactly, Quint had me do it. I stared at Inspector Cropper with his large bulbous eyes. I hated this man. There was no other police officer as bent and evil as Cropper. He thrived on Doctor Middleton’s fuck-ups, well, as long as he could cover them up without people asking questions. He stood in front of me rubbing his hands together. He knew too well that he would be rewarded greatly if he could take the volunteers back to Middleton unharmed. But he also knew that if he failed to, he was still set to gain a nice payoff for his silence, so either way he was a winner. If his authority was in danger of being uncovered, he wouldn’t think twice about killing Kassidy, Sylvia, and the others. Cropper was ruthless. He was so bent, I wondered sometimes if he didn’t have a demon inside of him. I sensed within Quint that he felt the same for Cropper as I did. I could feel the lust from Quint to just kill him but I knew that he held back the urge to end this abysmal man’s life, as it wasn’t what Doctor Middleton would want. Cropper was good for Middleton – good for sorting out his mess outside the walls of Cruor Pharma – and I guessed he was a reluctant need for Quint in some way. But I loathed him. And although I had seen far too much death in my time and didn’t have the stomach for any more, there was a part of me that wanted Quint to finish this towering thug off once and for all.

  Forcing a smile at Cropper, I said, “Yes, I’m here for the volunteers. I’m going to take them back to Doctor Middleton.” I looked back into the fog and wondered if the Cleaners were listening. Wondered if they were hoping that Cropper would step inside their shrouded trap. Because that’s what it was. They moved in the fog, undercover, waiting for unsuspecting people to stroll through. And I knew that Cropper would be unsuspecting as he had no idea what lurked inside that fog. He had no clue as to what lurked inside of me, and he certainly didn’t know what Middleton truly was. I looked down at his heavy boots as he shifted about on his feet. His left foot was just inside the fog, the thick tendrils of mist seemed to clasp at his boot, snatching for his life, but the rest of him was standing with me in the rain.

  “There’s really no need for you to be here,” grinned Cropper. “I’ve got it all under control. I have some backup on the way, and as soon as they have arrived, we’ll head in and get those murdering freaks.” He rubbed his hands together as if just the thought of claiming his prize was like the greatest thing anyone could ever achieve. But of course to him, it was. It meant a lot more money was coming his way.

  I felt myself take another step away from the fog. Quint obviously didn’t want me standing in it, but as I moved away, so did Cropper, his foot no longer inside the thick bank of fog. It wasn’t just me who Quint didn’t want in the fog but Cropper also. Was he protecting the Inspector?

  “All the same,” I glared, “I’ve come a long way and I intend to see it through, right to the end. I’m sure Doctor Middleton wouldn’t want me to just turn around and leave you to sort out all this mess.” I placed my hands into the pockets of my trousers and continued to glare at Cropper. There was no way I was gonna let him get his hands on Kassidy or any of the others, and although Quint had fallen silent, I felt sure he didn’t want this evil bastard getting his hands on the volunteers either.

  “Doctor Middleton, you say?” said Cropper, his eyes wide. “He’s been wondering where you’ve got to. Told me that if I saw you, I was to be sending you back to Strangers Hill.”

  Cropper took a step toward me, his bulbous eyes almost popping out of their sockets. I stood my ground, though. There was nothing this dumb idiot could do to me that worried me in the slightest, not with Quint lurking inside of me. But I could tell by the tone of his voice that he and Middleton had been talking about me, and I could only guess now that Quint was in trouble with Middleton for disappearing.

  As I stood firmly rooted to the spot, I could feel my head begin to cloud over a little. Quint was coming to the forefront and before I knew it, my voice spoke from him not me.

  “I have no intention of leaving here until I’m ready… so back off, Inspector Cropper… there’ll be no sending me anywhere,” answered Quint. “You do your job and I’ll do mine.”

  “Well now,” glared Cropper, “If you get in the way of the law, I’ll have no choice but to have you arrested and…”

  I could hear myself laugh. Only it wasn’t me, it was Quint. “The law?! What fucking law? You haven’t stuck to the law ever since you were paid to keep quiet about Middleton’s drug tests… and you want to arrest me? You know and I know that if one of us goes down, the other will be going too. Now why would you want to risk that? Don’t threaten me – ever again.”

  “Okay, Doctor Fletcher,” spat Cropper. “But I’m telling you now – I’ll be the one taking those volunteers to Middleton – not you, and…”

  I could feel the heat rise up within me as Quint stepped forward and snapped, “And I’m telling you… if you hurt any one of those volunteers… it won’t just be me you’ll have to answer to… I’ll rise up and take you back down where scum like you should be kept.” I could feel every part of Quint fighting to stay in control – not to lose it and show Cropper what was really inside the body of me – Ben Fletcher. I could feel his strength, writhe and swarm deep within me. But he kept it all down – just. Why he didn’t just finish Cropper off, I didn’t know, but Quint must have heard my thoughts – my questions, as I heard him speak. Not out loud but in my head.

  “I can’t
kill him. Not yet. If he dies then we’ll have every police officer swarming around out here and we’ll never get Kassidy and the others out. And what’s been a very ugly mess for so long, will seem like a picnic if it all goes horribly wrong now. We have to be patient – we have to wait.”

  With his face like thunder and unaware of what Quint had just said to me, Inspector Cropper replied, “I’ve had my doubts about you for a long time, Fletcher. And I think Doctor Middleton is beginning to feel the same. If I was you, I’d head back to Strangers Hill before it’s too late… I can manage here perfectly well.”

  Quint flared up again, overriding what I was going to say and growled, “If you want to get inside the grounds, you’ll need me. Doctor Langstone won’t let you in… not unless you have me with you. You don’t stand a chance of getting your bonus from Middleton without me. So shut up and keep your distance!”

  With that, Quint moved me away from Cropper and began to pace back and forth along the border of fog. I could feel Quint’s rage – his energy seeping into me. It made me feel angry – it made me want to kill. I shook my head and tried to stave off Quint’s influence. I needed to get myself back. I needed that strength and control I’d felt before Cropper had shown up. I stared into the fog. I could see the dark shapes of the Cleaners. They stayed back covered by the mist but seemed to be gathering toward me – toward Quint. I tried to calm my breathing and the rage that festered deep within me and as I did, I could feel Quint retreat. I stopped pacing and looked back at where Cropper had been standing. He had moved a little way up the hill and was now talking on his radio.

  “Well, Quint,” I muttered, shielding my eyes from the rain. “Are we going in?” I looked back at the fog.

  “We wait,” replied Quint. “Don’t worry, Ben, you’ll soon be seeing Kassidy.”

  And with that, he fell silent once more, his voice drifting off into the wind.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Ben

  Left to my own thoughts, I stood beneath the branches of a large oak tree and watched Inspector Cropper pace up and down. Every so often, he would speak into his police radio and holler some abuse. I was surprised he hadn’t tried entering the fog, but maybe even he felt the unease that it seemed to spread within its dark veil. I smirked. Even that thug, with his huge hands and towering frame, was too scared to enter without the rest of his corrupt gang from Holly Tree.

  My thoughts returned to my own life and how it used to be before I’d had my life snatched from me by Quint. It had been such a very long time ago, and the years of wear and tear that Quint had inflicted upon me had left my memory quite vacant. I was unsure of how my life had once been. I couldn’t even remember my own parents and whether I’d had any brothers or sisters. I had no idea as to how I’d got the job at Cruor Pharma and where I would have studied to become a doctor. That part of my life had been wiped away – eroded from my memory. No matter how much I tried to remember, the light had gone out and I struggled to even recall how this downward spiral had even started. Where had I gone? Was this Quint’s doing or had my brain slowly disintegrated over time – worn with age? Could I even be sure of what little memories I did have were those of my own and not from Quint’s life? I suddenly felt overwhelmed with sadness. Like a grief. I shook my head and wiped a tear away, tutting at myself for being stupid – weak.

  “Stop it, Ben,” I cursed myself and stood up. This was no good for me – no good for anyone. Still, the sadness lingered like a disease weighing down my heart. Who the hell was I? What was I like all those years ago? Had I had a fiancé… had I been married? Where had I lived? I curled my fist into a tight ball and brought my arm back ready to punch out at the tree trunk through frustration, but instead of hitting the tree, my arm was forced back down by Quint.

  Speaking over the roar of the wind as it rushed down into the valley, he said, “Sorry, Ben, I need you in good shape. I can’t have that body of yours getting injured now. Stop thinking of your past and look into the future – that’s the way you need to go. No point on thinking about the past. Draw a line. You can’t turn back time.”

  “Future!” I sneered. “Is there a future for me? Are you going to let me have a future – a life?”

  “Well, Ben, that’s not all up to me… is it? But we can try… can’t we? But you should know something… our time could be coming close to the end. If we don’t get to the volunteers before everyone else who’s after them then our lights go out for good,” said Quint.

  “Then why aren’t we in there? What are we doing still standing out here?” I asked, looking over at Cropper. “How do we even know that Kassidy is still alive in there? Langstone could have killed her and the others.”

  “No. That hasn’t happened,” said Quint. “The Cleaners are still here. They would have left… gone back to Doctor Middleton by now. They sense the volunteers are all here and they won’t leave until they have what they came for.”

  “So let’s get in there then,” I said, stepping out from under the tree.

  “We can’t,” said Quint.

  I stopped dead in my tracks, and feeling annoyed, I asked, “Why? You’re a fucking demon, aren’t you? There isn’t anything you can’t do!”

  “Ben, demons against the living is easy. I can do all sorts of things against them… but demons against demons is different and Langstone has grown strong since leaving Strangers Hill. There’s a block all around the perimeter of this place preventing me from entering. You can’t see it or feel it, but I can,” replied Quint.

  Turning on my heels and staring up into the rain, the frustration I felt was overwhelming. I had to get in. I needed to see Kassidy. I wanted to get her out of there. I had to be first. I looked over again at Cropper. I couldn’t let him get to Kassidy before me. And then I stared into the fog, panic slowly rising through me. What about the Cleaners? I couldn’t let them get in first, either. And what the fuck was going on behind those gates, behind the fencing? What was Langstone up to in there? Had he got his filthy claws into Kassidy? I suddenly felt so useless – desperate. All these feelings and thoughts rushed through me and I suddenly realised that it wasn’t just me who felt this way – they were Quint’s feelings, too. He let the mask that he kept over my eyes suddenly slip – a moment of weakness on his part – and I saw snippets flash through my mind. The blonde lady I had earlier seen from one of Quint’s memories filled my head. She was screaming out Quint’s name as she was dragged away from someone’s arms by a group of people covered in long robes, their faces concealed. The sound of her cries were muffled away by chanting. I could hear Quint shouting out – a desperate tone to his voice as I watched through what I believed to be Quint’s eyes. I was seeing this as he had so very long ago. There were other cries, too, as the view seemed to swivel to the right. I was now faced with a row of numbered coffins laid out on a lawn. There were seven, four already closed, and I suddenly felt my heart jump as more robed figures appeared, dragging a man by his hair. He was screaming and shouting abuse but not at the shrouded people. He was screaming at Quint.

  “I swear I will destroy you, Quint. Even in death, and when I rise again… I will kill you! This is your doing… this is your fault!” the man cried.

  Over the chanting, a male’s voice could be heard. He stood at the head of the coffin and spoke quite clearly, his face covered. “I hereby sentence you to death for aiding and concealing the fusing between light and dark… you will be laid under the earth alive where you will slowly die, Doshia.”

  “No… no… noooo! I had nothing to do with it!” screamed Doshia as he was held down in the coffin.

  I watched through Quint’s eyes as the coffin lid was closed and sealed. My stomach churned as the cries of Doshia could be heard. The banging of fists and the scraping of nails pierced my ears as I witnessed what would be a slow and horrible death. The blonde lady was pushed forward to the next coffin numbered seven. She seemed to stare right at me. But it wasn’t me she was looking at. It was Quint.

 
Through her tear-filled eyes, she called to Quint. “Help me… save me, Quint… I beg you… don’t let them bury me alive… I love you… I…”

  The memory vanished – gone in a blink of an eye. I felt sick, broken, in pain. These were Quint’s emotions and they played on me like they were my own. I closed my eyes and tried to block out what I had just seen. And although these images had been distressing to watch, I now had a clearer picture of how Quint and the other demons had come to be inside those coffins. Exactly what had gone on so many years ago, I wasn’t sure. And how their very souls had survived inside those coffins was a mystery to me, but I now realised that these demons being released had been an accident waiting to happen. For now my eyes felt wide open. I could remember at last being inside that room in Cruor Pharma as the coffins were opened. It was the moment I had lost myself and where my life had taken that downward spiral. I remembered.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Ben

  Had Quint had a moment of weakness, or were his memories a deliberate attempt to show me his past? Who was the blonde lady and was Quint’s attraction to Kassidy some kind of infatuation confused with the two? Did he think Kassidy looked like the woman? Was that why he had allowed Kassidy to escape the grip of Cruor Pharma and why he now pursued her? I wasn’t sure. But I believed at some point, I would find out. Things were starting to become clearer. Not everything – there was still so much left covered over – but I was grateful to have some of the puzzle pieces revealed to me.

  Quint spoke up and said, “Not everything is good to remember… some things are too painful…”