Park and Violet

by Marian Tee

  Park rehearsed what he would say to Violet in his mind, but all his plans instantly crumbled when he saw Violet and Jun-Yee standing at one corner of the store. They looked at him almost simultaneously, Jun-Yee appearing disapproving and embarrassed while Violet looked…blank.

  Shit.

  This look was even worse than seeing Violet breaking down because of Schwartz, and it became even a hundred times more agonizing knowing he had been the one to make Violet look that way.

  “Violet.” Park struggled to sound calm as he swiftly strolled to her side.

  “Excuse me,” Violet said very politely before moving away.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Tonight was the third day that Park and Violet hadn’t gone to work together, the third night they hadn’t gone home together, and just about the third day straight they hadn’t exchanged one word.

  Was this it?

  If so, Violet was bloody smart because it was the best way to torture Park.

  At first, he had been more than wary, waiting for what Violet would do. He had expected for her to ignore him, yes, but Park was waiting for the ultimate revenge act. He imagined her making him insanely jealous, which would be agonizing, but he’d bear it. He imagined Violet publicly humiliating him, which was also bad but again, he was prepared to bear it.

  Whatever it was, he wanted it to happen and get it over with as quickly as possible just so he could finally apologize and things would return to normal.

  But nothing happened.

  And when the fourth day had passed, Park realized that nothing would really happen. For Violet, he was good as dead.

  * * * *

  “Violet.” It was pure chance that he had finally gotten a hold of her, and Park made his move, blocking her way so she would not have any choice but to look at him. He devoured her with his gaze. It felt like centuries since he had last seen her. It could be his imagination, but Violet seemed even more beautiful than he remembered.

  She was dressed in another one of her Tokyo doll outfits—her words, not his—the kind that was skimpy and lacy and guaranteed to have men’s eyeballs popping out at how stunning she looked.

  Park. It was Park catching hold of her wrist. For one fraction of a second, fury and hurt rushed up simultaneously to her heart, making Violet unable to breathe.

  But when she turned to him, her eyes were just questioning. “Yes?” She deserved a freaking Oscar just for managing to say that without breaking down. He was so gorgeous, with the kind of presence that had every girl sit up and take notice the moment he passed by. Gazing at him, Violet still couldn’t believe that someone who looked so perfect could hide such a cruel side.

  She was only a fucking lay to him.

  Even Andrew hadn’t just wanted her for sex.

  The still-blank look on Violet’s face made him tired and stupid, embarrassingly so, all of a sudden. “I’m sorry,” he said raggedly.

  “You should be.”

  But there was no accusation in her voice, that frustrated him, scared him. “I didn’t mean a word I said.” He raked a hand through his hair. “I just wanted to hurt you somehow.” When she still didn’t say anything, he gritted out, “Did you hear what I just said? I said I was fucking sorry?”

  And that was supposed to make things go back to normal between them?

  Even as she pretended to blink in confusion, Violet couldn’t prevent bitterness from clogging her voice as she asked, “Why are you shouting at me?”

  The words made him mentally stumble. He hadn’t even realized he had been shouting. Tightening his grip while doing his best not to hurt her, Park repeated flatly, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  But you did, and there’s no taking it back.

  The old Violet would have said that to his face, but not this new bitterly cautious version of her. She would have forgiven others for a lot more than what he said or did but not Park–not when she had trusted him so much.

  The true reason I’m letting you in my life is because I can fuck you whenever I want.

  Remembering his words helped Violet speak. In a gentle but emotionless voice, she murmured, “There’s nothing to be sorry about. In a way, it had to be said. I had to realize that what we had wasn’t good.”

  All Park could do was gaze at Violet, unable to believe what he had just heard her say. “It wasn’t!”

  Violet flinched, not expecting he would agree so quickly. When Park cursed, she flinched again.

  “Fuck! I didn’t mean it like that. I meant…” He inhaled sharply, struggling to stay focused on making Violet see reason even when he felt his entire world was crashing on him. Vanessa leaving him had made him waver between depression and rage. But this–it felt like Violet saying goodbye to Park, and just the thought of it made him feel panicky and unable to breathe.

  “I didn’t mean it like that,” he tried explaining again, his voice tense. “What I wanted to say was that it was good between us.” When Violet still didn’t say anything, Park couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to shake her. “It was good, dammit!”

  Yes, it had been good.

  Fucking good.

  Violet closed her eyes. “Even if it was, it’s just not going to work anymore.” She said slowly, “But I’m not mad at you. What you said hurt but it was true. It opened my eyes, and…you changed my life, and I’ll always be thankful for that.”

  Park whitened at Violet’s words. He had a feeling that she was getting to something—something he couldn’t quite see just yet but he knew, all he could be sure of was that it would hurt, maybe even hurt more than how Violet felt when he said those fucking stupid words.

  Violet reached out to touch his cheek, and he flinched. “Only you, Park,” she whispered. “Only you made me believe in love again so now I’m free to fall in love once more, thanks to you.”

  And then she was walking away, leaving Park stranded in the cold and empty trap he had laid for himself.

  * * * *

  Another week of silence passed between Park and Violet.

  He was still in shock, and over and over her last words played in his mind.

  She was thankful to him. He had freed her to fall in love again.

  With another guy of course.

  Park wanted to slit his throat at the thought. He wanted to lie down on a bloody highway and wait for trucks to drive over his body and shatter his bones to pieces. Maybe then the gnawing hurting emptiness inside him would stop.

  He hadn’t thought he would fucking miss her this much. How the hell had she managed to get under his skin so deeply it felt like having her out of his life was having a piece of him torn away?

  Ever since she had said those words, Park was unable to keep himself from watching Violet, practically stalking from afar. The little changes he noticed were no comfort. If anything, they made him feel more desperate…more afraid.

  Violet wasn’t flirting with any guy outright–not in school, not in work, not anywhere. It would have been better if she had. At least that would mean she still cared enough to make Park jealous.

  But Violet wasn’t flirting, which meant she didn’t care for him anymore, and that was what was killing him.

  She was so much more subtle these days, as if she wanted to make sure that nothing she did would even tempt him to think she was trying to get his attention. Those small changes stood out in his vision like blood red spots that reminded him of what he had stupidly thrown away. Violet’s smiles appeared more often now, and she let other men closer, too.

  Sometimes, she would let one guy hold her hand, just a little longer than it should be. Other times, she would actually reach out to brush her fingers against another man’s arms, so quickly Park could have told himself he had just imagined it.

  And today was no different.

  Park had taken a different route to home, and he almost did a double take when he realized that he was staring at Violet across the street, her movements furtive as if she was hiding from someone.


  When Lee, that fucking green-eyed ass who was everything Park wasn’t: nice, gentlemanly, and with a goddamn smile always on his lips, took her hand before they started walking together, Park realized sickly that Violet was hiding from him.

  She was laughing. Her face was so carefree. Lee was probably halfway to falling in love with Violet already. Park followed them without thought, unable to take his gaze away from Violet. She was so beautiful he ached for her, kept dreaming of her.

  He frowned when they stopped outside a karaoke bar, just standing there as if waiting. Park scanned the surroundings and cursed when he realized what was taking place inside the bar. A fucking goukon—a group date solely organized to hook couples up.

  Violet really was looking for a boyfriend.

  And here he was, standing here, allowing what was once his to belong to someone else.

  * * * *

  Violet didn’t have to fake a startled shriek when someone suddenly snatched her hand from Lee’s from behind. She turned around, tensing when she saw the furious tic in Park’s jaw, his eyes blazing as he looked at Lee.

  She had known–she had always known that Park had been following her all this time. Had he really thought she wouldn’t? She was Violet York, and in spite of what happened with Andrew, she didn’t forget the one or two things she had learned about boys thanks to her extensive dating history.

  But what she hadn’t counted on was Park making a move this fast, this sudden.

  “Gomen.” It meant ‘sorry’ in Japanese, but his normally beautiful accent was all screwed up, sounding like a mixture of German and Korean this time.

  “I’m going to take her away now.” Park said the words as if it were a statement and a threat both, his large hard body vibrating with suppressed rage and tension. He looked like he was just waiting for Lee to give him a reason to snap.

  Lee didn’t appear bothered at all. He glanced down at Violet. “What do you want Violet?”

  “I don’t want—”

  Park’s fist connected with Lee’s face in a solid blow, causing the other man to fall to the ground.

  Violet screamed.

  This was not part of the plan at all. She had only been about to say that she didn’t want trouble, but Park must have misconstrued it.

  “Park, no!” Violet rushed to hold him back when he started for Lee again, who had just picked himself off the ground. “Don’t hurt him!”

  The words had the opposite effect on Park, who threw a look of absolute contempt at Lee before he started prying her hands away from his arm.

  Violet panicked. “Stop, please! Leave Lee alone and I’ll go with you. We’ll talk!”

  Park slowly looked at her. Rage still burned in his eyes, the jealousy and possessiveness mingled with it making Violet hope for things she dared not. Did he understand now? Did he fucking understand now how much she meant to him?

  “We’ll talk now,” Park said in a steely voice, his gaze challenging hers to refuse.

  She could afford to be meek now that she had what she wanted. “Yes,” she said shakily. She turned to Lee. “I’m sorry—”

  It was all Violet was able to say before Park had dragged her away. He only came to a stop when they had reached a nearby park and he pulled her down to sit on an empty bench next to him. This part of the park was quiet and without the usual noisy crowds. Only the chirps of birds and the occasional rustle of leaves on the ground punctured the silence between them.

  “I’m sorry.” Park’s voice was hollow when he spoke. “I didn’t mean anything I said back then. I only said because I wanted to make things feel less…” He expelled a frustrated breath. “Saying them made me feel like I was in control and that what we had would be less important than what it really meant to me.”

  She held her breath. “Why? Why would you want to undermine what we have?”

  Park straightened and looked at her with eyes filled with anger and frustration. “Because it was safer!”

  Her heart soared, but she still tried to keep her voice steady as she asked, “If you didn’t mean what you said, what did you really want to say back then? What was the truth that was so difficult for you to accept?”

  Park shook his head furiously. “Can’t it be enough that you have on my knees? I’ll shout I’m sorry to the entire uni if that’s what it takes—”

  “I want to know the truth!”

  “I was jealous!” Park exploded, the words hissing out from his mouth. “Are you satisfied? I’ve been feeling jealous for such a long time and when you kept talking in Spanish, it made me stupidly think that you might be telling me you like someone else and I just wanted to hit back.”

  Violet was reeling at what Park had just revealed. “Why were you jealous? Because you think I’m yours?”

  “That and something more–something I can’t explain! God knows I’m not in love with you, and when I do fall in love, I know it’s not with a girl like you—”

  “Is this supposed to make me feel good?” Violet drawled.

  But Park ignored her, continuing, “But I don’t know why, I’m actually jealous. You don’t flirt. But I still get jealous even if you glance at another guy. I feel humbled that I’m the only guy who knows your body in and out but I can’t understand why you let me be your first.”

  He suddenly cupped her face. “And worst of all, I’m fucking terrified that somehow, all of this–all that’s happened between us is just a game to you and that all along you’ve been playing with me.”

  She didn’t say a thing, just continued gazing at him with teary eyes.

  Park felt his world closing around him, and the only way to save himself was to have Violet help him out. He had said it. He had finally admitted his worst fears to Violet, and now Park had to know if those fears were justified or not.

  “Are you, Violet?” he asked flatly.

  She was still too dazed at the amount of information he had given her to answer, leaving her unable to make immediate sense of what he was asking. “What?” she whispered.

  He forced the words out. “Are you fooling around with me?”

  Violet knew, oh, she knew, she knew how hard it was for Park to ask that. “I am.”

  Park’s heart splintered.

  She was about to take it back, unable to bear the pallor in Park’s face, when he suddenly said tonelessly, “It’s okay. I can play the game as well if it’s what you want. Will you come back to me now, Violet?”

  And that was when she realized the truth.

  Park really was in love with her, too. He was just too stupid and blind to realize it yet.

  Violet’s eyes filled with tears. Take it slow and easy, she told herself. If you let him know that you think he’s in love with you, he’s going to deny it to death and we’ll be back to square one.

  Swallowing her own words of love back, she slowly raised her hands and made a peace symbol with her fingers. “I didn’t mean it. I’m not playing with you and I’m just joking? I… oooooooouuuuuuuuuch!” Violet hurriedly pulled away, ears ringing in pain. “That hurt!”

  “You were joking?” he roared.

  Violet took that as her cue to run away from Park before he could make her pay. “I’m sorry!” she shrieked over her shoulder even as she ran as fast as her shaking legs could carry her.

  “Joking! You were fucking joking?” Violet was a fast runner, but she was no match for Park’s strong long-legged strides and he caught her up in his arms just before she reached their workplace.

  When she saw the scowl on Park’s face, the terrifying sight had Violet babbling. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, so please don’t be mad anymore?” Violet held her breath.

  And then he did another unexpected thing. Park, Mr. Cool, Mr. Indifferent–Mr. I’m-Better-Off-Without-Girls—kissed her in front of everyone, one hand gripping her hair to turn her face up as his lips slammed down on hers. She let out a gasp of shock against his lips, but still he didn’t let go.

  I love this guy, Violet thought just before giving her
self completely up to his kiss.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “I’m so excited,” Violet confided to Gladys and Midori. It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon, and they were all heading to the university to celebrate Culture Day. Park and the boys were walking right behind them, laughing over something Crayon was talking about. Just thinking about him made Violet steal a look at Park behind her, like an addiction she couldn’t help succumbing to every few seconds.

  Their eyes met, and a tiny smirk appeared on Park’s lips.

  She whipped her head back, flushing at getting caught staring at him.

  “Is this your first time to experience the Culture Festival, too?” Midori was asking.

  “Umm…yes.” She struggled to sound normal even though she could feel Park’s gaze on her. Shit! Surely it wasn’t her imagination that he was---

  Violet glanced back.

  Park was talking, but his intense gaze was focused entirely on her, eyes smoldering as he caressed her body from afar.

  “Violet?”

  She quickly turned away. “Err, yes?” The girls laughed, making her blink in confusion. “What did I miss?”

  “It’s more of a ‘who’ question, actually,” Gladys answered slyly. “Who are you missing right now?” She inclined her head to the back meaningfully, and the other girls laughed again.

  “I so don’t know what you’re talking about,” Violet said haughtily and quickly changed the subject. “Wearing a kimono feels so amazing.” She let her fingers drift over the silky texture of the traditional Japanese robe dress she was wearing, still more than a little awed at the fact that she had on something so beautiful.

  “I can’t believe you got the guys to wear them, too,” Midori confessed.

  “Well, of course they have to wear a kimono, too,” Violet exclaimed. “It’s a freaking culture festival – how can you not wear one for this kind of occasion?”