Casting About

by Terri DuLong

  Adam walked over and pulled me into his arms. “I am so, so sorry. I know how much you were looking forward to this, and so was I.” He kissed the top of my head. “Maybe after we get Clarissa situated, we could leave on Saturday morning instead.”

  I pulled away to look up at him. “Absolutely not. Like I said, we need to be here. What if something happened? Carrie Sue’s about as responsible as a four-year-old.”

  Adam laughed. “You’ve got that right. Oh, Monica, I still feel so bad about all of this.”

  “Don’t,” I told him. “It’s okay. Really. We’ll reschedule and go in March during spring break. How’s that sound? My mom said Augusta is spectacular in March with all of the dogwoods and azaleas in bloom.”

  He pulled me back into a tight embrace. “Do you know how much I love you? You are one incredible woman and everything to me.”

  “I do know how much, Adam, because I love you back in the same exact way.”

  Wednesday afternoon I was sitting in Grace’s coffee shop nursing a latte waiting for her to finish up with a few customers. The last one walked out the door and she joined me.

  “So, wanna talk about it?” she asked, pulling up a chair across from me.

  “There isn’t much more to say. I’ve told you everything. Carrie Sue showing up on our doorstep, Trent confirming she does have visitation rights and she’s living at Fennimore Mills.”

  Grace shook her head. “What a pisser, huh? And you’ve definitely canceled your Augusta trip? No wonder you’re feeling down in the dumps.”

  “I’d feel much worse if we went, knowing that poor kid was stuck with Carrie Sue for the weekend and we were a seven-hour car trip away if something happened.”

  Grace reached across the table and gave my hand a squeeze. “Well, it’s still nice of you to cancel, but I do agree. She’s such a loser. God only knows what could happen. Does that woman have no brains?”

  I smiled. “After seeing her in action the other day, I’d say she’s probably a quart low.”

  “How’s Clarissa dealing with all of this?”

  “So-so. She doesn’t want to have to spend those weekends with Carrie Sue and she shouldn’t have to be going through something like this at her age. Cripe, now I think she’s developed an imaginary friend.”

  “Why’s that?”

  I told Grace about eavesdropping on Clarissa’s conversation.

  “Did you ask her about it?”

  “No, because I’m really not sure what the heck is going on. Do you remember when she first came here and told us she wanted to go out to Atsena Otie on the boat? And then, out of the blue she decides to name her dog Billie? It’s just weird. All of it.”

  “What’re you saying? Are you beginning to think it might be your grandmother’s spirit after all?”

  I took a sip of coffee. “I’m not sure what to think, Gracie. I know you believe in those things. I just never have. But it sure seems odd—after Clarissa came out of her bedroom, she didn’t seem as upset. Certainly not happy to learn she had to go to Carrie Sue’s this weekend, but it was almost like she’d resigned herself. I heard her say to whoever she was talking to that they’d go with her, and she made whoever that was promise.”

  “Maybe it is Sybile, Monica. Maybe ol’ Sybile is hanging around because she still has some things to do and she needs to make sure you’re in a good place before she can continue on her journey. And don’t forget, children have amazing psychic abilities. Unfortunately, most of us lose these as we get older, but children are very open to these types of experiences.”

  For the first time I didn’t argue or tell Grace she was foolish. Not so much because I believed her, but because I honestly didn’t know what was going on. And for the first time, I also began to wonder if my best friend had a psychic ability she’d chosen not to share with me, in addition to other things about herself.

  “Oh, geez,” she said. “So now you won’t have the privacy to talk to Adam this weekend like you’d planned.”

  “Well, we will have the privacy, because Clarissa will be gone till Sunday. But I don’t think now is a good time to bring this subject up.”

  “Changed your mind?” Grace prodded.

  “No, I don’t think so. I just don’t think the timing is good right now. I’ll know when it is.”

  “Well, hey, look on the bright side—you won’t be in Augusta, but you’ll have your house to yourselves for the entire weekend. Champagne in the Jacuzzi, walking around naked, all that good stuff.”

  I threw my head back laughing. “Gracie, you’re too much. You really do need a man in your life.”

  “Hmm, speaking of which, Mr. High and Mighty called me last night.”

  “No! No, please don’t tell me you’re considering seeing him again.”

  “Do you really think I’m that desperate for a man? Please! He did try, though. Gave me a bunch of crap, saying he was sorry, it really was never about trying to get my property, yadda, yadda, yadda.”

  “Do you believe him?”

  “Not for a second. Just as I was ready to hang up he said I was a very foolish woman to turn down the amount of money he was still willing to pay me for this property. My parting words were ‘go to hell and don’t ever call me back,’ then I slammed the phone.”

  I raised my hand to give Grace a high five. “Good for you.”

  “Some men think women are just so stupid. I’ll never understand it.”

  “Well, he had no idea he was dealing with the likes of you. He saw those auburn curls and thought you’d be an easy pushover.” I glanced out the window to Dock Street. “Oh, my God! There she is!”

  Grace turned around to peer outside. “Oh, yeah, that has got to be the ex—maybe better known as Miss High and Mighty.”

  I tried to position myself in back of Grace just in case Carrie Sue peeked in the window. “Christ, do you think she’ll come in here for coffee?”

  Grace laughed. “The way she’s dressed like a New York City fashion plate? I seriously doubt it. I don’t think Coffee, Tea and Thee would be on her social register. Boy, she’s a piece of work, isn’t she?”

  I leaned to my right and saw Carrie Sue was standing across the street at the railing to the Big Dock, looking out toward the water. Wearing a calf-length tan knit dress, a beige shawl wrapped around her shoulders, and tan heels, she looked completely out of place. “She looks a bit foolish in those clothes.”

  Grace shook her head. “You think?” she said, giggling like a teenager.

  I found myself giggling right along with her, and a few moments later, Carrie Sue glanced toward the coffee shop and I swear she wrinkled up her nose before proceeding down the street.

  36

  Friday afternoon I was sitting on the deck working on Grace’s scarf waiting for Adam and Clarissa to arrive home from school. We were having one of those glorious winter days on the island where the temperature hovered close to seventy. I couldn’t seem to stop thinking about the fact that we had to take Clarissa to Carrie Sue’s that afternoon. It just seemed so wrong. But to Clarissa’s credit, she had been good about it even though it was obvious she didn’t want to go. I glanced up to see my husband and stepdaughter walking into the yard.

  “Hey,” I yelled, putting my knitting down.

  I watched Adam come up the stairs and noticed how tired he was looking. This situation with Carrie Sue was taking its toll on him.

  “Good day at school?” I asked Clarissa as Adam leaned in to place a kiss on my lips.

  She nodded. “We practiced for the Christmas play again. I knew all of my lines for Mary.”

  I smiled. “Of course you did.” Adam and I were quite proud that she’d been chosen to play such an important part.

  “And you won’t forget it’s Tuesday night?” she asked.

  “Are you kidding?” Adam exclaimed. “I think we’ve marked it on every calendar in the house.”

  “And Grandma’s still coming?”

  “Absolutely,” I told her. “And
Aunt Dora, Saren, and Gracie will be there. They wouldn’t miss it for anything.”

  She started to head to her room and stopped to turn around. “Do we have to invite Mama?” she asked Adam.

  “Clarissa, that wouldn’t be very nice not to include her.”

  “She probably won’t come anyway,” she mumbled under her breath before walking off.

  Adam had been grading school papers, while I sat on the sofa knitting. Glancing up at the mantel clock, I saw it was already four.

  “Oh, gosh, I’d better make sure Clarissa’s all set to go to Carrie Sue’s,” I said, jumping up and heading to her bedroom.

  She was sitting on the bed, Billie curled up beside her, reading a book. I looked around the room. “Where’s your backpack?” I asked.

  “Oh,” she said, without enthusiasm. “I have to pack.”

  “Clarissa, you still haven’t packed? I put all of your things on your bureau. There they are,” I said, walking over to the neatly folded piles of clothes. “I’ll put them in your backpack and you get your toothbrush and the stuff in the bathroom that you’ll need.”

  Ever so slowly she slid from the bed. She returned a few minutes later with brush, comb, and her other essentials.

  “Okay, put them in here. We have to get a move on. Carrie Sue is expecting you at four-thirty.”

  “Are you sure you’ll pay attention to Billie while I’m gone? She’s going to miss me.”

  She was right. “Of course, I will, Clarissa. We’re going to your grandmother’s for dinner this evening, and Billie’s coming with us. We’ll walk over with her so she’ll get her exercise.”

  This brought a smile to Clarissa’s face. “Thank you, and tell Grandma thank you for letting Billie come.”

  I zipped up her bag. “Okay, I think we’re all set,” I said, heading out of the room.

  “Wait a sec,” she hollered, holding up her knitting bag. “Can I take this?”

  “Of course you can.”

  “But what’ll I do if I have a problem? My mother doesn’t know how to knit.”

  Hmm, good question. “You’re knitting so well now I have a feeling you won’t be making any mistakes.”

  I wasn’t sure if I should accompany Adam and Clarissa to Carrie Sue’s house, but Adam had insisted. “You have every right to be there,” he told me.

  We climbed the stairs to the condo with Clarissa between us. Finding the correct number, Adam knocked on the door. We waited a minute or two and when nobody answered, Adam knocked again, harder this time.

  “Oh, for goodness sake, give a girl time to get outta the bathroom,” we heard Carrie Sue holler from inside and a moment later she swung open the door.

  Her eyes went directly to me. “Oh, I didn’t know y’all were comin’ too.”

  Without hesitating, I said, “Well, since this is where my stepdaughter’s spending the weekend, I wanted to be sure the accommodations were adequate.”

  Tossing her head, Carrie Sue moved aside to let us enter. “Does this meet with your approval?”

  We stepped into a small living room furnished with Key West furniture and décor. Shades of mauve and mint green covered the wicker sofa and chair cushions. Prints of pelicans and egrets hung from the walls. Stacks of newspapers were ready to topple off the coffee table where some dirty cups and dishes still sat, never making it to the dishwasher. A jacket and sweater had been tossed over the back of a chair and the distinct odor of cigarette smoke filled the room. My eyes went to the overflowing ashtray on the end table. Meet with my approval? No, not at all. But I remained silent.

  “Carrie Sue, I thought we discussed that I didn’t want Clarissa subjected to your cigarette smoke,” Adam told her.

  “Oh, for goodness sake. I’ve got a can of Lysol right here,” she said, going into the kitchen. She returned and began spraying the room. “And yes, okay. While she’s here, I’ll only be smoking out there on the balcony.” She pointed to a small covered area, accessed through sliding glass doors from the living room, where a small patio table and chairs were arranged.

  “Well, come on, sugar, let Mama show you your bedroom,” she told Clarissa and we followed her to a hallway that led to the room.

  Nice enough, although not nearly as nice as the one she had at our house. Twin bed, bureau, end table, also in the Key West touristy décor.

  “Isn’t this nice?” Carrie Sue asked.

  Well, it was certainly neater than the living room.

  “Yup,” was all Clarissa said.

  “Okay,” Adam told her, walking toward the front door. “We’ll pick Clarissa up Sunday afternoon around three. She has school on Monday. What are your plans for tomorrow?”

  “Plans?” Carrie Sue asked, like she’d never heard the word before. “Oh…well…um…I thought maybe we’d take a ride to Chiefland. To Super Walmart and do some Christmas shopping.”

  Super Walmart for the woman who was probably Neiman Marcus’s best customer? And drive? I wondered how responsible she was on the road.

  “Okay,” Adam said, pulling Clarissa into a tight embrace and kissing her. “You be a good girl, and we’ll see you on Sunday.”

  She nodded and immediately headed toward me. Surprised, I opened my arms to accept her embrace and realized she’d made no attempt to hug her mother. Yet here she was displaying affection toward me. I kissed her cheek and held her back to look down into her face.

  “You have a good time, and don’t worry about Billie. We’ll take very good care of her.”

  She nodded and we walked out of the condo. By the time we reached the bottom step, I felt moisture in my eyes. Dear God, I felt like I’d just dropped my puppy off at a pound—with no guarantee of the care it would receive.

  “Well, I don’t care about laws and judges,” Opal stated, swinging her fork in the air as she spoke. “All I know is that Carrie Sue is the poorest excuse for a mother that I’ve ever seen.”

  For once, I had to totally agree with my mother-in-law.

  “It’s not right. It’s just not right that that poor child should have to endure the likes of her. And all I can say is nothing better happen to my granddaughter when she’s in the care of that lowlife.”

  Adam shook his head. “Mom, please. Enough. We all feel the same way, and there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it. And I’m going to tell you again, do not say any of this in front of Clarissa.”

  Opal took a sip of her wine. “Oh, for goodness sake, Adam, give me more credit than that. I just hate the thought of that child being with Carrie Sue. And what’s she going to do with her all weekend?”

  Adam pushed roast pork around on his plate. “She said maybe they’d take a ride to Super Walmart tomorrow.”

  Opal sniffed. “Oh, she’s going slummin’?”

  I smiled. My thought exactly.

  Poor Adam was feeling bad enough, and although Opal meant well, she didn’t need to be badgering him, making him feel worse.

  “Opal,” I said, “this roast is delicious. I don’t know how you always get it so perfect.”

  “Southern cookin’ passed down for generations,” she told me. “And we have my key lime pie for dessert, so eat up.”

  The rest of the dinner conversation centered on Clarissa’s play and Christmas.

  After we loaded the dishwasher, the three of us sat down to enjoy coffee and Opal’s famous pie.

  “Ya know,” she said, shooting a glance across the table to Adam. “I have one more thing to say on the subject of Clarissa staying with Carrie Sue and then I’ll hold my peace.” When Adam remained silent, she went on, “I’d feel a whole lot better if that child at least had a cell phone with her. There’s no telephone at Carrie Sue’s house, is there?”

  Opal was right. Since Carrie Sue had a cell, she didn’t bother to turn on phone service.

  Adam looked up at his mother. “Geez, you’re probably right. I never gave that a thought. She should have a way to contact us if she needs us. I’ll look into that right away on Monday. That’s a
good idea. Thanks, Mom.”

  I saw the self-satisfied grin that spread across Opal’s face and smiled myself. Opal could be a pain, but she had a good heart and she was proving to be a very involved and concerned grandmother. Couldn’t ask for more than that.

  37

  Somehow Adam and I managed to get through the weekend, but I won’t lie, the house was terribly empty without Clarissa around. Poor Billie just moped and whined despite all the extra attention I lavished on her.

  We even took Grace’s suggestion, and Saturday evening we relaxed in the hot tub with a bottle of excellent champagne, which of course led to some excellent lovemaking. Knowing we had the house to ourselves, like before Clarissa had come to live with us, seemed to bring out a more frisky and passionate side to our sex.

  But when I awoke Sunday morning and wandered into the kitchen to make coffee, Clarissa’s absence was once again noticeable. While the coffee brewed, I put on my robe and walked outside to get the paper.

  “Monica?” I heard my name being called and turned around to see Miss Tilly walking toward me.

  “Good morning, Miss Tilly. How’re you today?”

  “Well, a bit upset if truth be told. Where’s that lovely stepdaughter of yours?”

  “Clarissa? Oh…well…her mother has moved to Cedar Key and will be taking Clarissa every other weekend. This was their weekend together.”

  “Is that so? Well, somebody needs to be keeping a closer check on that woman.”

  What on earth was she talking about? “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “Well, I’m not one to carry tales, but…when it involves a child and especially one as sweet as that Clarissa, well, I don’t think I should hold my tongue.”

  Irritation came over me. Just spit it out, I wanted to yell at her. “What exactly are you talking about?”

  “I happened to be at Walmart yesterday afternoon.” She adjusted her eyeglasses to stare directly at me. “There I was, in the cat section looking for some Christmas toys for my Fluffy, when all of a sudden it came over the loudspeaker that a little girl was at the courtesy desk at the front of the store. Clarissa Brooks was her name, they said, and could her mother please come and get her.”