7
THE BEEF IS ON! The cost of fame is too expensive for my taste. The next day after the discussion with Slim, I felt like we had both cleared the air. My decision was made because I was finished working with Slim and Paul. They treated me like I was a slave and as if I had nothing else better to do. I basically called my job and told them that I was going to be coming back at the end of the year. I interviewed for a promotion within the union at GM because that was the best thing for me. I had seen the disturbing side of the industry, not just with Slim but in the entire industry. In the music business, people acted as if they owned you, and nobody owned me. It was their fault that they didn’t have a contract with me, and if we had a contract none of these problems would have occurred. We both would have been legally bound to our expectations and our duties. But that’s their loss and nothing but gain for me. It gave me time to spend with my wife and kids and try to get myself together because I gained everything I could from working with Paul and Slim, and I felt as though there were nothing else for me to gain.
Paul and Slim weren’t going to offer my group a deal on their label, and it wasn’t because my group wasn’t any good, but that their pride wouldn’t allow them to ask me for anything. So I did my interview, and everything went very well, and I’ll be getting the position. Ironically, on the way home from my interview I noticed a package on my front porch. It was the platinum plaque awarded to me for my contribution to the success of the Slim Shady Tour. I wasn’t sure whether to throw it away, sell it, or what, but I knew I wasn’t putting it on display at my house. I wasn’t going to put it up until I saw something positive come from the situation. Meanwhile, I was trying to adjust to the so-called flexible month of December. I was supposed to get time off to spend with my family, but it was difficult to plan because every time something came up on the tour, like when Slim was supposed to record a song or something, it was canceled. I had to cancel plans that I already made because I was told that I was going to have the whole month of December off. My backup help, Rock and Noel, had the same problem with the planning and canceling that occurred in the month of December, and they missed out on a lot of money because of this. This is where they began to see what I was going through working security for Paul and Slim, and how Paul had no regard for other people’s time or money. Paul and Slim always acted like everyone’s bank account was on their level, but unfortunately that’s not the case. I always told Paul that he needed to understand that playing with people’s money and time was dangerous. It got to the point where Rock and Noel would come to me and say,“Naz, what is Paul going to do?” I told them that I was supposed to be the one running security, but Paul kept intervening because he wanted to be a control freak. Any questions they had regarding the pay, reservations, and commitment should be directed to Paul. All I could do is tell them when we were supposed to be leaving, but they keep canceling everything. Then, Paul came to me and told me that we were going to be doing New Year’s Eve in New York.
I really didn’t like this idea because so many plans had been made and then canceled that month, I really had no quality time to spend with my family. I couldn’t take any vacations with my family or visit family members in other states because my plans kept being rearranged. It was just a big mess. The closer and closer it got to January, the more antsy I got because I was ready to go back to work. Working with Slim and Paul, I was being totally disrespected as a businessman. They had an “either you do as I say or you’re out” attitude. In January, I went back to work and got the rest of my retainer money. If they would have gone anywhere, of course, I would have had to go as well, but I was just trying to get through the month of December. Some other things were going on as well. My wife had come down with pneumonia and was supposed to check in to the hospital, and I had no plans to leave her in that condition. They wanted to keep her when she went in, but she didn’t want to be in the hospital for the holidays so she didn’t stay, but she was pretty sick. That helped me to make my decision as well. I told Paul the day after Christmas on his answering machine that we needed to talk, and it couldn’t wait.
Ladies love lip-locking! Now that’s a tongue twister. He called me while he was in a meeting with Slim and D-12, and I told him that I needed more money because my CCW permits came in, and I was more qualified, and that I needed more control over security or I wasn’t getting on the plane the next day. He told me that he had no intentions of paying me any more money than I was already getting. I told him that it was nice working with him and Slim, and that since all my requests and proposals weren’t respected, the relationship had to be cut. I told him that I was a businessman and that I wasn’t being respected as such. I wished them much success and said I would continue to buy their records but that I could no longer work for the minimal wages that they were paying. I gave them until midnight that night to change my mind because I could go back to work and make the same amount of money that they were paying me. Paul responded, “Well, how are you going to wait until the last minute when we are supposed to fly out to California at noon tomorrow to shoot the ‘Still Dre’ video?” I gave him a taste of his own medicine. I said, “Well Paul, everything in this business is last minute, so get used to it. Again, you have until midnight tonight to change my mind because I can’t do this under these conditions. ”
That was a big step for me, and I felt good about it. I didn’t have any regrets. I went upstairs, and I gave my wife the news that Paul didn’t care to meet the total amount of money I wanted, which was $300 a day. Comparatively, this wasn’t a lot of money, because some guys get $700 or more a day, up to a thousand, and there I was getting $185. I was glad I had made my decision. I went downstairs and got on the Internet, and lo and behold one of the villains from the past e-mailed me—DT. He was basically on a positive note, just asking how are you doing hope everything is going well; I remember a lot of good things about you. Now, how unexpected was that? I just resigned from Paul and Slim, and DT happens to send me e-mail. He was one of my biggest nemeses on the tour when it first started, and now he was trying to be my friend. It was an eerie feeling because it almost seemed like DT knew what was going on. I e-mailed him back, letting him know that everything was cool and that I was just getting ready for the New Year. We corresponded over the next few days, but I didn’t tell him the news.
The first person I told was Gus, who commended me and reassured me that I had done the right thing.They screwed Gus over financially, too. I called Rowe and told him, and, of course, I told Rock and Noel. I sent the rest of the people I had met and worked with an e-mail, letting them know that it was nice to work with them and that I hoped to talk to them in the future. That was basically how I closed out my resignation because I didn’t want people to hear anything except for the truth first. I had resigned, not been fired, and it felt good. About an hour after I resigned, I got a call from Proof. He told me that I fucked Paul and Slim up with that news. He said it was right, because they were acting like big shots at the meeting. I told Proof that was how they always acted. Proof said the first thing out of Paul’s mouth was, “Damn, I didn’t get a chance to fire him. ” I knew that is what Paul wanted to do. He wanted to fire me and drag my name through the mud. He wanted to have something negative on me so bad he could taste it. I thought that I ended it on a good note, but I found out otherwise later.
December 27th Slim and Paul flew out to California, and I made preparations to go back to work. I didn’t feel any regrets, much to my surprise. I was happy to be back with my family and friends. I was thankful that I wasn’t a materialistic person because I didn’t get so caught up in the hype that it hurt me to leave it. I owed it all to my upbringing, to my mom for instilling a good sense of morals and to my father for always being straight up with me about life. That’s the one thing I had over Paul and Slim. They had no father figures. Slim never knew his father, and Paul’s father left his mother when he was young. I know things happen, but I was a different type of man. I was a better man than
both of them put together. The two of them didn’t equal half of me, and it showed, and they knew it. And they say that black fathers aren’t any good! I am here to tell you that I have the best dad in the world, and the most loving mom, and because of that I am a good dad and a great man, all blessed by God. That is something that Paul and Slim didn’t understand and could never take from me. But they did manage to affect me financially.
December 30th I had no idea that this day was going to be what it was. This day made my whole entire year the worst I ever had. I almost lost everything. I almost lost my wife, my kids, my freedom, and my religion. What went down was a shock, a harsh reality. It was like being thrown in a pot of hot water while you are asleep. You wonder how the hell you got there. I got a call from the bank where my wife works. Her boss called her and told her that the checks we cashed had a stop put on them. The three grand Christmas bonus had been cashed eight days ago. We had already spent that and invested it. Also, my retainer check had been canceled. I immediately went through the roof when my wife told me this. Her boss asked her what we were going to do about the money. We had to put some money in our account to keep it out of negative status, which greatly inconvenienced us. All of this because stupid-ass Paul and Slim couldn’t handle the fact that I didn’t want to work for them anymore. They did this out of spite. Automatically, right off the bat, I snapped. I went off. I honestly wasn’t thinking about my wife and my kids. All I could think about was all of the work that I did for these guys, that I left my family to work for them, that I stood in front of Death Row and other dangerous situations and put my life on the line. I thought about my Christmas bonus, which was short as it was because it was supposed to have been five grand, but it was only three grand. They canceled the check eight days after the check was cashed out of spite just because I didn’t want to work for them.
The first thing I did was go down to my basement, and I loaded up my clip. I put on my bulletproof vest. I loaded my second clip and put it on my belt. I grabbed my tear gas and my baton because at this point somebody was about to get their ass beat. Someone was about to get dealt with. I totally got beyond myself. I allowed the devil to step in and take over my whole mind-set. I was gone; I snapped just that quickly without even thinking. I stopped and thought and said, “Well, let me call Paul, ” because I was about to go out on a manhunt. The part that hurt me the most was that I had been loyal to them throughout the entire duration. I thought about all of the physical and mental sacrifices I made dealing with these fools, and this was the thanks I got! I deserved both of those checks—plus some. I felt disrespected and punked out and like they were trying to play games with my life. All I could see was red.
Then I realized that that’s what these guys were all about—paper gangsters, straight bitches. They knew they couldn’t beat me mentally or physically, so they played the only game they could: big bank take little bank. And I must say, they got me that time. They pushed a button that no one ever pushed before because these boys had me ready to lay some people down. I called Paul, and of course he didn’t answer. Unthinkingly, I left him a voice mail. I left a verbal threat to do some damage. Not a very wise choice! Ironically, I had turned into a person I didn’t like. I was doing something that I said I wasn’t going to do and that was give in to the devil by chasing the money. They used the money as an object for me to chase after. For me, it wasn’t just the money; it was the loyalty I had given and the lack of respect that I received. It was a ton of things, and everything I had put up with over the months, all the positions I passed up at my job, missing out on my newborn son’s first year, and a lot more.
These are all the things I could see, and all I could think about was hurting these guys in a way that their mothers would feel. Paul didn’t answer the phone, so I left a message saying that they knew exactly what they had done and had taken money from me that was rightfully mine, and, “Just because I am a family man, don’t think that I won’t do something to your ass because I will.The best way to correct this is to give me my fuckin’ money back. It’s very ironic that y’all hired me to be y’all’s bodyguard, but now you have to hire somebody to protect y’all from me. I am not bullshitting, man. I want my money. You will never be able to go anywhere treating people like this, and you won’t have to worry about Death Row because the wrath that I’m going to put on your ass, you will never forget.You and Slim.That’s not a threat, that’s a promise. Now, give me my fuckin’ money back, and I mean that shit. ”
Lap dance, table top, get it! Get it! Don’t stop! Right after I left Paul this message on his cell phone, I called Slim, and I was still madder than a mutha fucka. His wife, Kim, answered his cell phone and handed it to Slim, who came on the line sounding coy and acting like he didn’t know what was going on, just like he always does. He knew damn well what was going on. I questioned him about pulling my money, and he said I didn’t do shit the whole month of December, and it was my fault. I told him that I called him daily to let him know that I was available. Paul got into Slim’s head once again, making him betray the people who supported him the most. I told him I resigned, and it was strictly a business decision, but they made it personal. He said, “Fuck you, Naz, ” and I said, “Oh, it’s like that? Well fuck you, too. ” He was like, “Well, what are you going to do? I got a gun. ” And I was like, “What the fuck do you mean what am I going to do? Have you forgotten whom you are talking to? I got guns! You hired me to protect you because you couldn’t do it yourself. Man, please get the fuck out of here with that shit. I’m trying to get my money back. ” He kept testing me and challenging me to do something or make a move, and I kept telling him all I wanted was my money back and that I was making the phone call to avoid coming over there. He was ranting and raving on the phone trying to be hard, and I told him I was on my way there. He was like, “Whatever!” and hung up the phone. Little did I know that Paul and Slim were plotting. At this point I was really mad as hell. I wasn’t sure where Paul was, but I knew that Slim was home.
Since I had been his bodyguard, I knew his every move before he even made it. I knew where he hung at, ate at, recorded at, lived at, and partied. At any given moment, I could find him. I was thinking, Man, this guy don’t know who he is fucking with. He must think he is dealing with some type of punk or something. I was outside pacing and mad, just fuming, and my wife was trying to get me to come back into the house because I have a family, but I wasn’t trying to hear that shit. All I was thinking of was hurting Paul and Slim the way I was hurting. It wasn’t a hurt from the money; it was a hurt from betrayal. I was the realest person Slim has ever had around him. I didn’t ask him for shit or want for nothing. I watched his back and cared about him. He fucked me, and he helped Paul fuck me. Paul, being the big bitch that he is, knew that the only way he could deal with me was through Slim. He never could deal with me one on one.That’s why he wouldn’t accept my calls and wouldn’t talk to me. I intimidated him.
I had all these voices going through my head. I was hearing my father telling me not to mess up my name—”You’ve got kids! You’ve got a wife. ” I was feeling totally belittled and discouraged and feeling a lot of anguish. I wasn’t trying to hear what God had to say or what my wife had to say. I wanted to handle it my way. I wasn’t trying to hear what my father had to say. In fact, I was deaf to anything that was going to help me better this situation. I had become a monster. I had become the person that I was working for, and that’s sad. The industry had gotten the best of me.
Little did I know that voicemail on Paul’s cell phone would alter my life. I decided to just get in my truck and drive. I still maintained my thoughts of hurting Paul and Slim, but rather than act on those thoughts, I went shopping to occupy some time and to ease my mind. The way I was feeling, I would have gone over to Slim’s house and literally killed that boy. I listened to some gospel music to help me to rebuke the devil, because I had become so evil and enraged at that point that I wasn’t trying to hear anything. I felt like I had turne
d my back on God and my family. I wanted it to be my revenge.
I asked God why he let them treat me this way, and I realized that it wasn’t God’s fault. It was my fault. Because once they turned me down the first time I gave them a proposal, I should have resigned then. But you live and you learn, and one thing I learned from that situation is that if people don’t take you seriously, then you have to show them just how serious you are.
After I finished shopping and calmed myself down, I had come to my senses. I said to myself that the conversation Slim and I had on the phone was real fucked up and that he and I had some history now. We should be able to sit down and resolve this like men. I had come to a conclusion that I didn’t want to take this into the New Year; I wanted to start Y2K off right. I reluctantly headed over to his house hearing two voices: one telling me to stop over at Slim’s house and the other telling me not to. I realized that I probably should not have gone over there, but the problem had to be confronted. I went over there, and I was still wearing my bulletproof vest and carrying my . 40 cal with two fully loaded clips, my baton, and my tear gas. I went to his house ready to talk with a sensible mind, but I knew not to underestimate Slim because he could be high or drunk, as usual. He can be very stupid when he’s impaired.
When I got out of my truck at his house, his truck wasn’t there. I went up to his door and knocked softly, with my other hand in my pocket on my . 40 caliber, just in case! After I knocked, I heard everyone in his mother-in-law’s house scrambling, panicking, screaming, and hollering. It was obvious that they knew that Slim and I were beefing from our phone conversation. I heard Kim saying, “Oh, my God, he’s here! He’s going to do something to us! Call Slim!” Slim was hiding out at a friend’s house around the corner to avoid seeing me. I told him I was coming to see him on some street shit, but since I had calmed down, I was only there to talk to him. But if he wanted to get into some gangster shit we could have gone that route, too. Unlike Slim, I own CCW permits. All my shit was legal, and I had a right to defend myself. When Kim finally decided to open the door, she was the nicest she’s ever been to me. She was crying. “Naz, what do you want? Slim said you were going to kill us–you were going to kill Hailey and me and we don’t want any problems. You guys need to quit this!” I said, “Look, Kim, I came over here to talk because the conversation Slim and I had on the phone was real fucked up. Since we have history, we should be able to talk this out. ”
Shady Bizzness: Life as Eminem's Bodyguard in an Industry of Paper Gangsters Page 15