Without

by E. E. Borton

  “I’m sorry, buddy,” I said, leaning down and putting my hand on his shoulder. “They were going to kill us for sure…Earl?”

  Rolling him over, I saw the hole in his white shirt. I didn’t see the larger hole in the back of his dark club jacket. His eyes were open, unblinking. I checked his neck for a pulse, hoping for that miracle. He didn’t get one either.

  With his finger near the trigger guard, I didn’t think John would find it and squeeze before I killed him. It never came off his lap. I don’t remember hearing the shot. I can only guess it happened when I was firing mine.

  I dragged the three cowards down to the lake for the fish. I carried Earl to Fourteen. I had the time and the energy to bury him.

  With Sam standing beside me, holding my hand, I said a few words for my friend. I buried Earl on the fairway near his favorite sand trap. I don’t think he would’ve had a problem with that.

  It was time for me to start taking from the dead. I wouldn’t take anything from Earl, but I took Billy’s hunting rifle. The time for concealing weapons was coming to an end. The time for warning others I was well armed had started. Having a high-powered rifle with a long-range scope was a valuable item to carry.

  Sitting on the deck, watching the green waves crash overhead, I waited until the fire died before heading into the clubhouse. After a terrifying morning, a long walk, and a burial, I was exhausted.

  I found two pieces of lumber and some nails. I pulled a couple massage table pads onto the floor for my bedding. After securing the door, locking the windows, and curling up with my sawed-off teddy bear, sleep came slow.

  As I closed my eyes – feet against the door – images since 8:13 were flying through my head as if they were being powered by the tornado that tried to end me. How many more Todds would I face on my journey to find hope? How many more Earls would I have to bury?

  Was this new world even worth trying to survive in?

  Chapter 11

  (Day 5)

  Silent Night

  I woke up tired.

  Finding everything I needed in the clubhouse, I stepped out onto the deck with a cup of coffee to greet the sun. I then proceeded to jinx myself and ask the sky for a good day, a quiet day of walking. That’s all I wanted. Just one day.

  In the brilliance of a flawless, blue ceiling above me, I looked down at the lake. Todd and the boys were still sleeping in the water. It would’ve been nice to chat with Earl over breakfast before I started out. Looking to my right as I sipped, I saw a line of tee boxes on the driving range.

  Like a kid in a candy store, I went into the pro shop to choose a set of clubs. I filled a bag with equipment I would’ve never been able to afford five days earlier. Slipping on my new golf shoes, stretching my fingers into a glove, I looked over at the shelves full of hats. I picked out the pink one with a visor of course.

  Staring at myself in the mirror, Sam walked up behind me with a wide smile. “Nice choice. It matches your shoes.”

  “Why, thank you, pretty lady,” I said. “Care to join me for a bucket of balls?”

  “I’d love to.”

  We walked out of the clubhouse, holding hands and smiling. Placing a few balls on the ground in a row, I pulled out the only club that didn’t match the others. It was Earl’s seven iron he had used to greet me in the hallway. “This one’s for you.”

  I sliced it. I sliced it bad. “Sorry, buddy. It’s been a while.”

  Laughing beside me, Sam lofted her ball straight and true. She had an amazing swing. I watched her hit a few more before returning to my tee. I love the sound of the club head whooshing through the air behind me right before the wood makes contact. If you hear that sweet sound, you don’t even need to raise your head to follow the ball. You know it’s fair and far. You know exactly where it’s going to land.

  Losing myself in the moment, I didn’t notice that Sam had left me. After my third bucket of balls, I took a deep breath while taking in the world around me. I had to remember to stop and enjoy these moments whenever I could. I had to remember that life was changing, not ending.

  Enjoying another moment before my long walk, I decided it was time for a bath. Being the resourceful man he was, Earl had plenty of water. I gathered enough to fill a tub in the locker room. Heating large pots on the gas grill, it didn’t take long before it was ready. I sank into the steam, leaning back on a pillow against the rim of the tub. I closed my eyes and cleared my head. As if somebody had pulled the plug on me, I relaxed, letting my tension escape into the water.

  I’m not sure how long I sat motionless – soaking – dreaming of better days. Wrinkled skin on my hands and feet let me know it was time to move along. Reluctantly, I gathered my gear and hit the road. It was along the way, so I stopped to say goodbye to Earl, placing his club across the fresh mound on Fourteen.

  It was day five since 8:13. At that point I knew things would be deteriorating at a faster rate. People, especially families, who were holed up in their homes waiting for help would begin running out of supplies. They’d be forced outside to scavenge for water and food. In the city, it would be mayhem by now; too many people, too little resources.

  I was far enough away from metro-Atlanta to not worry about large scale looting and rioting. But Todd helped solidify my belief that trouble could pop up anywhere at any time. The difference that worried me the most between cowards out here and cowards in the city was slung across my back.

  In the city they held small pistols sideways, hoping one of their many bullets would hit its mark. Out here, there were skilled hunters with scoped Remington 700 rifles – like mine – who could easily pick me off with one shot at five hundred yards. I’d never hear it coming.

  When I was making my bug out plan on the night of day one, I anticipated where I would be on day five. Even with manmade and natural setbacks, I was still on schedule. I knew I was approaching the last densely populated area I was somewhat comfortable entering. After the next town I’d take a sharp left and head into the Johns Mountain Wildlife Area. It would take me a day and a half to cross it, but it was worth the extra time in order to avoid people. People were gripped by fear and becoming more desperate as each hour passed. It would be my last day traveling along a highway out in the open.

  There wasn’t a cloud in the sky or soul on the road as I made my way closer to town. The sun was high when I walked up to the top of a rise and slid the rifle off my shoulder. I was using the scope to check out long stretches in front of me. As I peered through it I didn’t see any movement. But I did see her.

  Holy shit.

  It took everything I had not to run down the other side of the rise. (She wasn’t going anywhere.) I stopped again to confirm what I saw. She was even more beautiful the closer I got. I slung the rifle over my shoulder and quickened my pace. I stopped dead in my tracks when she was at arm’s length. I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was Eleanor.

  Plastic surgeons wouldn’t have been able to remove the smile on my face as I stared down at her. My mind raced back to see Sam poking fun at me the third time she caught me watching the movie Gone in 60 seconds. It didn’t take her long to figure out Eleanor was my dream car. It was poetic when I looked in the window to see my dream girl sitting in the passenger seat. I peered up into the sky.

  Thank you, God.

  “I can’t believe I’m actually jealous of a car,” said Sam as I gingerly opened the door and sat in the driver’s seat.

  “This isn’t a car, baby,” I said, gripping the polished wood steering wheel. “This is the car. This is a 1967 Shelby Mustang GT500. It’s even Eleanor’s color.”

  “Her color?”

  “Yes,” I said. “She’s perfect.”

  “I’m not sure which one of us you’re happier to see?”

  “Both, angel. I’m so happy to see you both. It’s been a rough couple of days, you know.”

  “I know,” said Sam, reaching over and squeezing my knee. “That’s why I brought you to her.”

  “I can
’t begin to thank you enough,” I said. “My dream girl sitting inside my dream car. I don’t think this moment could be any more perfect.”

  “You’ve earned it, sweet boy.”

  My eyes were glassing over. I closed them and inhaled her perfume, feeling her hand on my knee. My mind suspended reality, gifting me with a magnificent daydream. With the windows down, the dead engine roared to life with a throaty growl. Pushing in the clutch, every other car on the road vanished in thin air, giving me a clear straightaway for miles. Sliding the shifter into first, I popped it, leaving white smoke swirling behind us. As the wheels screamed, so did I.

  I could barely hear Sam yelling with me. Her gleaming smile was being swatted by her hair as I accelerated. She was holding onto the dash as the world flew by us at a hundred and twenty miles per hour. Sam’s smile was being forced through clenched teeth. I slowed down to give her a break from my excitement.

  “Wow, I had no idea this car was that fast,” said Sam, relaxing.

  “It can go faster,” I said, grinning.

  “No, no, that’s okay, honey. I believe you. This is a really good speed.”

  I was cruising with my girl. Moving my hand down to hers, she leaned over, putting her head on my shoulder. She tucked her unruly hair behind her ear as I turned the knob, finding us a tune that would carry us down the road. The truth is, I didn’t care about the car. I cared about the moment.

  Sam was dead and so was Eleanor. I knew that. But as the world was dying around us, we still managed to create a brilliant memory together that I’ll never forget. Maybe she wasn’t so dead. Maybe as long as I stayed alive, so would she.

  “It’s getting late, baby,” said Sam. “There’s a barn up the road. Let’s see if we can stay there.”

  “You’re staying with me tonight?”

  “I am.”

  Crackling as it cooled, the engine fell back to sleep. The cars pinning Eleanor reappeared as Sam disappeared. She knew I had work to do and didn’t want to distract me. I made my way across the highway to the big red barn. The farmhouse was fifty yards away.

  Looking through my scope, I didn’t see any movement through the windows. There were no vehicles and no signs of life. I was very much hoping they weren’t home. No people meant no trouble. I prayed that my earlier wish for a good day would extend into the evening. I wanted nothing more than a silent night.

  There was no need for my key since the back door was open. Shotgun leading the way, I moved inside. Clearing every room, I helped myself to a little food and water. I didn’t want to take any more than I needed in case they were on their own journey to get home. If they made it back, they’d be tired and hungry. I thanked a photo of the family for the meal and headed for the barn. Sam was waiting for me.

  “Come on, cowboy,” said Sam, beaming. “Let’s go roll in the hay.”

  Opening the barn door, I saw how hard the family worked to keep things in order. The stalls were empty but clean. I was expecting to get assaulted by the odor of large animals. The only smell was of the hay in the loft above Sam.

  Using blankets and pillows from the house, I made our bed in the loft. I was pleased to see the ladder wasn’t attached. Pulling it up to keep any trouble far below, I knew it was a safe place to be with my girl.

  Stowing the ladder, I turned to see Sam lying naked on our bed. She took my breath away. Her perfect body was bathed in the warm glow from the oil lamp. Opening a window, feeling the cool twilight breeze, I took off my clothes, lying down beside her.

  She draped her arm across my chest, nestling her head into my shoulder. I put my arm around her, pulling her in tight. Trouble was a million miles away.

  I melted into her.

  “You took a bath today,” said Sam, kissing my cheek.

  “I did,” I said. “Not sure when that’s going to happen again.”

  “You’re doing so good, sweetheart. I know you’ve had to do some things, but it’s okay. I know you didn’t mean for him to get hurt.”

  “Earl.”

  “Yes,” said Sam, leaning back, putting her head on the pillow. “I know you were just trying to protect him.”

  “He was a good man,” I said. “I only knew him for a few hours, but I could tell. He reminded me of someone special. Maybe I should’ve tried harder to separate him from the fight.”

  “No. You didn’t have time. He knows that.”

  “He knows?”

  “Yes, baby. He told me. He’s with me now.”

  I tried to be strong, but it overtook me. It was the second time I cried in front of her. My tears weren’t for Earl. They were for her.

  She wiped them away, smiling at me. Swallowing the rest of them back, I regained my composure. No sense dwelling on tough thoughts.

  “You are my sweet boy,” said Sam, touching my face. “I don’t ever want you to think that crying makes you weak. It shows me just how strong you are. It makes me love you even more.

  “But you need to get some rest now. We need to turn down the lamp. You know light brings trouble in the dark.”

  “Just a few more minutes, angel. I want to see that beautiful face for just a few more minutes. I know you have to leave soon.”

  “I’m not going anywhere. I’m always with you.”

  Draped in darkness, I felt Sam’s arm slide away. I turned to look out the window into the clear night sky.

  Thank you. Today was a good day.

  Chapter 12

  (Day 6)

  Double Up

  I was hoping for two good days in a row, but I didn’t ask for it. The skies were clear and Mother Nature hadn’t thrown a fit in forty-eight hours. I made the decision to add a few miles to my day, going around the large town. As I approached the edge of Johns Mountain WMA, day six was coming to a welcomed, uneventful close. I needed to find shelter.

  Cresting a hill, I spotted a large plantation-style home at the bottom of the rise. Four large pillars held up the roof on a wrap-around porch. Flowerbeds full of blooms along the walkway were flanked by two massive, manicured lawns. A large oak tree with swings on two sides watched over the house from the corner of the yard. From that angle I could see the roof a smaller house on the edge of the property in the backyard. It seemed like as good a place as any to bed down for the night.

  Keeping my eyes on the windows I walked towards the front door. I noticed it was wide open. When I made it to the porch, I saw a body lying in the foyer. Raising my shotgun – and my heart rate – I took a step back. As if she were a little ghost, a girl, maybe six years old, stepped around a corner behind the body. We both froze.

  I resumed my backpedaling as soon as I heard the screams coming from the backyard. It sounded like two, maybe three, women. I heard raucous laughter a few seconds later. It sounded like two, maybe three, men.

  Several gunshots followed.

  Too much going on here. You can’t see anything. You don’t know what’s happening. Too much going on here. Get the hell out.

  Switching to the rifle, I walked backwards the hundred yards to the end of the driveway. As soon as the trees concealed me from the house, I turned, moving with purpose down the road. I didn’t bother looking back. Whoever they were, they weren’t leaving that house anytime soon. Shaking the image of that six-year-old out of my head, I kept repeating my mantra.

  You can’t fight them all. You can’t save them all.

  “You can save them,” said Sam, coming up behind me. She was pissed.

  “No, I can’t,” I said, walking faster. “Don’t do this to me.”

  “To you,” cried Sam. “Nothing is happening to you. It’s happening to them!”

  “What is?” I yelled, turning to see that beautiful face in tears. “What is? You don’t know! I don’t know!”

  I stopped walking away from her, taking the next step toward her. “There could be ten of them with guns. You told me to stay alive. This is how I stay alive. We don’t know what’s happening, Sam.”

  “This is happening,” sa
id Sam, falling backwards across a buffet table.

  I bit through my lip, clenching my teeth. Sam brought me the image I had been trying desperately to erase for years. She was bloody, crying as the monster thrust himself into her while two others watched, laughing. Each time he entered her, he was stabbing her with a screwdriver. I lunged for him but only caught air. I was lying face down in the road.

  “Get up,” whispered Sam. “Help them.”

  Preserving my life didn’t matter anymore. If I were going to die, I’d take as many of those cowards as I could with me. I’d take all of them with me.

  She was sitting on the front steps when I returned. I couldn’t see what was happening, but she knew.

  “What’s your name?” I whispered, keeping my eye on the foyer.

  “Tyler,” she answered.

  “How many of them?”

  “Four,” said Tyler without expression.

  “Where are they?”

  “One took my mom upstairs. Three are out back in our pool with my sister and her friend.”

  “Do they have guns?”

  She nodded.

  “Did they hurt you, Tyler?”

  “No. They hurt my daddy,” she said, turning and pointing to the man lying in the hall. “And they’re hurting them now.”

  “I want you to go swing by that oak tree,” I said. “Whatever you see or hear, you stay right there, baby girl. I’m going to make them stop.”

  “Okay.”

  As I watched Tyler walk towards Sam, swinging under the tree, I dropped my pack on the front porch. I laid down the rifle and the shotgun, choosing to use the more maneuverable twin pistols inside the house.

  Moving up the stairs, I heard moans. Hers were from pain. His were from power.

  I turned the corner, entering the bedroom with a gun drawn. Her arms and legs were tied to each of the four posts. He was on top of her, sweating and yelling into her face. When she saw me, her eyes grew wide. I held up a finger to my lips. She nodded slightly

  I placed the gun at the base of his neck. He stopped.