Dreams

by Linda Chapman

  “So?” Luke laughed. “I’m not going to keep them. Who cares about a fifth and sixth rosette—winning’s what counts.” He patted Gabriel’s neck. “Next time…”

  At the indoor school the course was being rearranged for the Gamblers’ Stakes. When it was ready, Ellie walked around it on foot to work out the route she would take. The jumps looked very big compared to the ones she had jumped on Picasso in the working hunter pony class. She noticed a couple of easy fences, but jumping those wouldn’t win the competition. Her eyes were drawn to the fences that carried the most points. First, there was a big double with two wide spreads, then an imposing upright fence made of bright green and white planks, and finally a massive red wall that was worth twice as many points as anything else. Ellie walked up to it. She could barely see over the top. Could she really jump it?

  For a moment she wondered what Joe would say if he’d been there. She could almost hear him telling her not to even try it, that it would be stupid.

  She hesitated, then walked back to the collecting ring where Luke was holding Gabriel. “You ready for this?” he asked.

  She took a deep breath. “Oh, yes.” She couldn’t wait to get into the ring. The atmosphere of the show had taken her over. Stroking Gabriel’s warm neck, she watched as the first competitor was called in.

  When it was her turn Ellie rode into the ring, her heart in her mouth. Gabriel was excited to be in there again. The seated area was now full with people and she could hear Gabriel’s snorts echoing through the quiet air as she rode around, waiting for the bell to tell her to start.

  Just keep jumping, she thought, excitement gripping her.

  Be sensible, she heard Joe’s voice again in her head. She pushed it away.

  Luke was standing in the cafe. He grinned and gave her a thumbs-up and she grinned back. The next minute the bell was ringing out and she was off. Gabriel raced towards the first jump—a small spread, then over the gate, the parallel bars and then the big double. All thought of being sensible had vanished from her mind now. She turned Gabriel again and again, facing him at the fences, aware of the points racking up. The urge to win was beating through her, the desire to jump faster, bigger…

  Suddenly she found herself at the top of the ring with the choice between the wall and the small spread again. She didn’t hesitate. Gabriel thundered towards the wall. Ellie had never jumped anything so big in her life. It loomed in front of her, red, white and massive. She held her breath as Gabriel sank back on to his hocks and then he was soaring through the air, clearing it easily. It felt like a lifetime before they landed and she tensed, waiting for the fall of bricks, but there was nothing apart from the sweet sound of his hooves as he cantered on. She’d done it! Elation surged through her, and in the final seconds she turned towards the double and flew over both fences one more time, landing just as the bell rang to end her round.

  Gasping for breath, eyes shining, patting Gabriel over and over again, she rode out of the ring. Luke leaped over the fence to meet her. “God, no one else has even attempted the wall.” He looked amused and impressed. “That was awesome, Ellie!”

  Slithering off, she threw her arms around Gabriel. “He was brilliant!” She felt like she had fireworks going off inside her.

  “Told you—I knew you’d enjoy it.”

  Ellie enjoyed the moment when she went into the ring to collect the red first-place rosette even more. She led the lap of honor and cantered out, feeling as if every cell in her body was buzzing. She was so glad she’d listened to Luke and gone to the show, so glad she’d just gone ahead and done it. Whatever happened, whatever trouble she got in, she’d always have that night. It was the same as when she’d bought Spirit. She knew she shouldn’t have done it, but she hadn’t listened to that sensible bit of her brain and was so glad she hadn’t.

  “So, it makes up for not going out tonight?” Luke said as they led Gabriel back to the trailer.

  “Definitely! I loved it!”

  “Knew you would.” He tapped his nose. “See, I know everything.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” she teased, rolling her eyes. “You know everything.”

  “I do, babe.”

  “Babe?” She looked at him and then burst out laughing, on such a high she simply couldn’t be bothered to be angry with him. “You called me babe!”

  He had the good grace to look a bit ashamed. “OK, sorry, you are so not a babe.”

  “What am I then?” she said curiously.

  “A nut-job! You must be, you took Gabriel in the Gamblers’ Stakes and won.”

  Their eyes met and they grinned. Ellie walked Gabriel back to the horsebox, glowing inside.

  Chapter Nine

  THEY DROVE BACK TO High Peak Stables, the radio playing old rock songs. It wasn’t Ellie’s usual choice of music but it felt right somehow, driving back in the dark with the flickering lights around them, the trailer heater blasting warmth out. She glanced across at Luke whose eyes were fixed on the road. Some days he utterly infuriated her, and then at other times, like now, she really, really liked him. She thought how little she knew about him and his life before he came to live at the stables. The story he’d told her the other night about his pony dying had taken her completely by surprise.

  “Did you always have ponies when you were growing up?” she asked, curious to know more.

  He nodded. “Since I was five. My dad used to go hunting a bit and we had stables at our house. I show-jumped quite a lot whenever I was at home.”

  Ellie remembered what Joe had once told her—that Luke’s parents were wealthy and he had gone to boarding school from the age of eight.

  “Didn’t you miss your ponies when you went to boarding school?” She couldn’t imagine it.

  “Loads. I didn’t see them much at all really. I was at school in term time and then quite often I came here on the breaks because my parents were off traveling.”

  “So you didn’t see much of your parents either?”

  Luke shook his head.

  “What did they think about you leaving to come here?” Ellie asked, intrigued.

  Luke frowned. “What is this? Twenty questions?” But he answered anyway. “They didn’t have a choice, I guess.” He shrugged. “Once I’d spoken to Len and knew he’d have me, then there was no way I’d have stayed on at school. I told Dad I’d just run away. He knew I meant it so he let me come here. I think he was secretly glad—a problem ticked off his list.” Luke ticked the air with his hand. “Luke—dealt with. I’d always been in trouble at school—got myself expelled twice.” He gave a self-mocking smile. “‘A cry for attention,’ that’s what the experts said. I reckon it was just me being a bit of a bastard.”

  Ellie studied his face. Despite his flippant words, she could sense a lot of hurt, deep down. “Do you get on with your dad?” she asked curiously.

  “I don’t see him to get on with. Never really have. Even when I was at home on the breaks with him he was always working. He’d watch me riding if he was around and I’d go hunting with him if he wanted to do that, but doing anything else with me—well, that just didn’t happen.”

  “What about your mom?”

  “She runs around after him. Dad’s her life. She’s never been the sitting-with-you-when-you’re-sick, reading-stories-to-you type of mom anyway. More the going-to-the-tanning-salon, having-your-nails-done and going-to-dinner-parties mom. She’s not into horses at all.” Luke snorted. “Really great parents I have. Still, least they’re not short of cash and they’ve never been stingy about spending money on me.” He smiled at her. “It could have been worse.”

  Ellie found it hard to smile back but she felt a wave of sympathy for Luke. It must be awful to grow up like that, feeling unloved by your parents.

  Luke tapped his fingers on the steering wheel and gave her a quick glance. “I know you don’t like Len but he’s been more of a father to me than my own dad ever has. Least you know where you are with him and though he might shout and roar, it’s only because
he cares about what you’re doing.”

  Ellie snorted. “You mean, he cares that we’re riding the horses right! He doesn’t care about us!”

  Luke shrugged. “He’s been good to me.”

  Ellie frowned. “He’s a useless dad to Joe and he doesn’t care about us. You know he doesn’t.” She thought of the nights when she had first arrived at High Peak Stables, the times she had cried herself to sleep. He had never once—not once—asked her how she was. Not only that, but he was so unpredictable there was no knowing what he might do.

  “He took us in,” Luke reminded her.

  “Only because we could ride the ponies for him,” Ellie shot back. “There’s nothing good about him.”

  Luke looked at her for a moment and then to her surprise he laughed. “You argue too much, Ellie Carrington. OK, OK, you’re right. He’s a crap dad and a crap person. Happy now?”

  Ellie shot him a sideways look. “Yep. As long as you admit I’m right, I won’t argue.”

  Luke grinned at her. “You know, when you first arrived, I thought you were going to be just some silly girl.” He shook his head. “Wrong!”

  Ellie glanced at him curiously. “So what do you think of me now?”

  Luke’s forehead furrowed. He gave her an assessing look for a moment before turning back to the road. “You’re interesting.”

  Interesting. Ellie sat back against her seat. Well, she didn’t object to that. She smiled to herself and they drove the rest of the way home in an easy silence.

  When they got back, Ellie saw Len’s car in the car park. She and Luke unloaded the horses and led them on to the yard. As she came out of Gabriel’s box, she saw Joe coming out of the house. Happiness swept through her—she couldn’t wait to tell him all about it, to ease his guilt for going out with his dad that night and canceling their outing. “Hi!” she called, hurrying over to him.

  “Ellie! I’ve been worried about you. I didn’t realize you were at the show with Luke. When I got back and found you weren’t here I didn’t know where you’d gone. I’ve been calling and texting your cell phone. Why didn’t you answer?”

  “My phone’s out of charge so I had it switched off.” Her excitement burst out of her. “Joe, listen! It was brilliant! I took Gabriel in the Gamblers’ Stakes. We won!”

  He stared. “You what?”

  “We won!”

  “You took Gabriel in the Gamblers’ Stakes?” he echoed. “But that was mad. You’ve only ridden him once.”

  “Yeah, I know. But, Joe, we won.” She hugged the traveling wraps to her and relived the experience. “It was amazing. He went so fast and we jumped the wall—no one else did. It was…” Her words faded as she realized he was stony-faced.

  “I thought you said you didn’t want to go to the show. It didn’t take Luke long to persuade you otherwise, did it?”

  It was Ellie’s turn to stare. “Sorry?”

  Joe frowned. “You said it wasn’t your thing.”

  “Joe, you were the one who canceled tonight. I went to the show with Luke because you weren’t here. I thought you’d be pleased I’d had a good time. I wouldn’t have gone at all if you’d stayed.”

  “I had to go out.”

  “Luke said you didn’t.”

  Joe’s face tightened. “Oh, I see, Luke said…”

  Looking hurt, Joe turned and strode back into the house. Ellie was dumbfounded. Joe never rowed and walked off. And what was he mad about anyway? She’d wanted him—expected him—to share her happiness. Instead he’d just given her a hard time.

  She stomped into the tackroom where Luke was putting away Pericles’ traveling gear. “What’s up?” he said, seeing her face.

  “That’s what I’d like to know!” she snapped. She sighed as she saw his surprise. “Sorry, it’s not you. Just Joe being dumb.”

  Luke’s eyes narrowed shrewdly. “Let me guess…he didn’t like you coming to the show with me?”

  Ellie shrugged. She might be spitting mad with Joe but she wasn’t about to blurt out what they’d just been arguing about.

  But Luke didn’t need her confirmation. “He should have stayed here, taken you out. That’s the trouble with Joe—he always feels he has to do his duty but it doesn’t make him happy. He certainly shouldn’t take it out on you.” He looked at her shrewdly. “You know, he’s not right for you, Ellie.”

  Ellie blushed hotly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

  Luke raised his eyebrows and didn’t say anything.

  Ellie began to put Gabriel’s things away. She didn’t want to talk about this with Luke. It felt wrong. Her temper was fading now. “Gabriel’s sorted for the night. I’m going to see Spirit.” She reached the door. “Luke…” she hesitated. “Don’t say anything to Joe about all this.”

  “Me?” He raised his eyebrows. “Would I?”

  She didn’t answer. She knew by now that it was impossible to predict what Luke would do. Giving a little shake of her head, she walked out.

  Spirit was in his stable. He looked surprised to be visited at such a late hour, but as always his eyes glowed with love.

  Would Luke say anything to Joe? She hoped not. Now her anger had gone, she was beginning to see the situation through Joe’s eyes. He must have been worried about her. And even though he’d said they couldn’t be more than friends, she knew he did like her and he’d probably been jealous of her having a good time with Luke. Dumb thing, she thought, with a rush of sympathy. He knows I don’t like Luke in that way.

  Ellie stood with Spirit for a long time before she felt herself starting to fall asleep and reluctantly went inside.

  Joe and Luke were both in the kitchen. Luke was eating a slice of toast and reading a magazine. Joe was making coffee. As Ellie came in, Luke glanced between them. Ellie tensed, wondering if he’d said anything. His eyes flicked to hers and he gave the briefest shake of his head, then looked back down at his magazine. She felt a rush of relief. Joe was concentrating on pouring water from the kettle on to the coffee granules in his mug. He wasn’t saying anything but his back seemed to bristle. Ellie felt a weariness sink over her. She knew she should make up with him, but it had been a long day and she didn’t feel like dealing with this just now.

  “Night,” she sighed.

  She wasn’t sure if she heard one or two replies.

  Chapter Ten

  JOE AVOIDED ELLIE THE next morning. While she was helping with the feeds, he filled the water buckets, and when she helped with the haynets he went to start mucking out. As she pushed a wheelbarrow up to the muck heap she saw Luke riding Lucifer, with Len watching. Half keeping an eye on the horse in the menage, Ellie emptied the wheelbarrow. Luke was riding Lucifer in circles, halting by the gate. Ellie hadn’t seen the black gelding being ridden for a few days. She paused to watch as Luke rode Lucifer on around the school. Lucifer was going quite well, although he looked far more tense than the first time she’d seen him ridden. Luke cantered him around a few times and then began to circle by the gate again.

  “Push him on. Get him going forward!” Len’s voice barked out. The gelding was slowing down as he approached the gate. Luke used a stronger leg aid. Lucifer swished his tail and slowed down even more.

  “Trot on!” Luke muttered, kicking him.

  Lucifer continued past the gate, but as he circled around he started to slow once more as he drew nearer to the gate. Ellie watched closely. Why was he doing that?

  “He’s messing you around. Get him moving, Luke!” Len called.

  Ellie frowned. Lucifer wasn’t giving off stubborn, disobedient vibes. If anything, she got the impression he was confused and uncertain.

  Luke smacked Lucifer. The gelding’s ears flattened and he leaped forward, throwing his head down.

  “Let’s have none of this. He’s playing silly buggers!” Len came striding towards him. “Make him listen to you, Luke. Show him who’s boss. A horse like that will take every advantage he can. Give him a smack!”

  Ellie he
ard Stuart shouting her name on the yard. Hoping that Lucifer would settle down soon, she pushed the wheelbarrow back down the slope.

  When Luke came in from riding Lucifer, he looked hot and fed up.

  “Did Lucifer get any better?” Ellie asked, joining him in the tackroom.

  Luke shook his head. “He went past the gate in the end, but he was all over the place for the rest of the session. I asked him to go left and he’d go right; I’d want him to go back and he’d go forward. He ended by rearing up. I hope he’ll be better tomorrow when Jeff comes. And it’s the first show in a month. I don’t know what’s up with him. He was so good when he first arrived. He’s getting worse each day at the moment and Len’s instructions just don’t seem to be working.”

  Ellie had been thinking about what she’d seen in the menage and she’d had an idea. “You don’t think he was slowing down at the gate because you’d been practicing halts there with him, do you? Maybe he was trying to please you—thinking that’s what you wanted—and then he got confused when you hit him. He seemed really bewildered.”

  Luke frowned. “Len reckoned he was just throwing his weight around.”

  “But he didn’t look as if he was.” Ellie wanted to convince Luke. “Honestly, it didn’t seem like that. It really didn’t. I think he was trying to please.” She frowned. “I wonder if joining-up would help him? Maybe Joe could try.”

  Luke stared at her as if she was mad. “Ellie, if you value your life, don’t even begin to suggest such a thing to Len.”

  “But—”

  “No—don’t! He’s getting wound up enough about Lucifer as it is right now. If you suggest something like that he’ll explode. Sure, he lets Joe mess around with the youngsters in the morning, but Lucifer’s one of the most important horses on the yard. There’s no way he’d let Joe try something like join-up with him.”

  Just then, Joe came into the tackroom. Seeing them so deep in intense conversation, he stopped.

  “Hi,” said Luke.

  “Hi,” Joe muttered, then grabbed a pair of knee boots and left.