by Lisa Hobman
Greg ran an oily hand through his wet hair. ‘Ah, we…’ He looked at the floor.
Mallory held her hands up in apology. ‘Sorry, it’s none of my business, rude of me to ask.’
‘Na. It’s okay. We just weren’t compatible, let’s say.’
Mallory raised her eyebrows. ‘Oh. Right.’
Greg huffed, ‘Truth be told, she was ready for moving in permanently and getting engaged. I mean, for fuck’s sake, I’d only known her a few days.’ He laughed, his eyes sparkling. ‘Anyway, let me go clean myself up. I’ll be back in a minute.’ He ran up the stairs two by two.
Moments later he came back down in dry jeans with a T-shirt flung over his shoulder and a towel in his hand which he was rubbing through his hair. His chest glistened from the raindrops that had seeped through his other top.
‘So, good time?’ he asked, pulling the dry T-shirt over his fuzzy towel-dried hair.
‘Brilliant,’ she replied.
‘Make any new friends out there?’ He combed through his hair, scraping it back off his face.
‘Yes quite a few actually. I was even given a guy’s number.’ She smiled, and her cheeks heated as she remembered Carl who she had kissed.
Greg smirked and shook his head. ‘Why do you sound surprised?’
‘Oh, I don’t know. It was nice. I’d forgotten what it’s like to have someone give you their number.’
‘So, did you call him?’ Greg was frowning.
‘No, he wasn’t my type.’ She followed Greg to the kitchen where he put the kettle on.
‘Oh right. Do you have a type then?’ he asked inquisitively.
‘I didn’t think so. But anyway, he wasn’t it, that’s for sure. Too… oh I don’t know. I just didn’t fancy him.’
Greg chuckled and shook his head. ‘I’ve something to ask you, anyways.’ He handed her a cup of coffee. It was fresh and smelled delicious.
‘Oh yeah? What’s that then?’ She took a sip, but winced as she burned her lip.
‘Too eager! I made it with hot water and everything, you know,’ he teased.
She scrunched her face at him. ‘Ha ha.’
‘Anyway. It’s my birthday next weekend and I thought we could maybe have that beach barbie we’d talked about for your birthday.’ He looked hopeful. ‘I know that was just a ruse to get you to cheer up whilst I was planning your actual birthday, but I do quite fancy it.’
‘Oooh, thirty-eight then, eh? BBQ sounds good. Who shall we invite to come along?’ Mallory also liked the idea of a beach party.
‘Oh, leave that with me, I’ll sort it out,’ he insisted. ‘You just get ready for around seven and I’ll pick you up.’
‘What’s up with the Landy? Looked serious out there.’
‘Oh, it’s nothing. Just a wee oil leak. I think I sorted it. Not bad for a twenty-year-old car.’ He took a sip of his coffee. ‘So, what did you get up to whilst you were away?’ he asked.
‘We shopped, we looked around all the touristy things, went to the beach, watched home movies. It was so lovely and relaxed.’ She smiled, recalling the things she had done.
‘Well, you look… I don’t know… refreshed?’
‘Thanks, I feel it. We had a kind of memorial service at Sam’s mom’s place.’ She clasped her hands around her mug. ‘It was very touching. All his friends were there and they said some amazing things about him. We all wore bright colours and released lanterns. It was really beautiful.’
Greg nodded and looked thoughtful. ‘Sounds great. Did it help you? You know, to be around his friends and family?’
‘Definitely. I felt like I said a proper goodbye. Not like at the cremation where I was so numb I couldn’t even cry.’ She looked at her mug and felt awash with sadness and regret.
‘Must’ve been lovely.’ He looked wistful.
Mallory had an idea, but was hesitant about mentioning it. ‘Hey, how would you feel about doing something similar for Mairi?’ she asked bravely, hoping it didn’t upset him.
Greg’s eyes narrowed. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, we could get a few friends together and say a few words and maybe release balloons or lanterns for her?’
Greg shook his head. ‘I don’t know… her parents and I weren’t close. I only met them once and it didn’t go down too well. And her friends already did a climb in her memory. There would be no one to invite.’ He looked so forlorn and Mallory wanted to hug him, but didn’t dare.
‘Well, okay, you and I could do it,’ she said, determined to help him, considering Sam’s memorial had helped her so much.
‘You’d do that… for me?’ He seemed surprised.
Mallory smiled. ‘I would… of course.’
‘When could we do it? And where?’ He seemed to perk up at the idea.
‘Whenever and wherever you feel ready,’ she replied.
‘How about on my birthday?’ he asked, looking a little more positive now, a smile playing on his lips.
‘That’s fine by me.’ She could see his mood improving as the plans began to come together.
Greg’s smile turned into a handsome, beaming grin. ‘Great. I’ll write a few words and we’ll get some lanterns to release. Leave it with me. You can speak too if you like.’
Mallory pursed her lips. ‘Hang on though. Wouldn’t you prefer to have your family and your friends at your birthday? Maybe the memorial should wait until after you’ve celebrated?’
He placed a hand on her shoulder. ‘Mallory, you are my friends. The only friend who understands and the only friend I’m that bothered about spending my birthday with anyway. And as for my family… well we don’t really see each other much. My brothers are busy with their own lives and my parents are long gone. But it’s fine. And it would mean the world to me to do this on my birthday. The anniversary of her death is bound to be too difficult.’
That settled things. Mallory finished her coffee and took Ruby home. She started planning what they could do for the memorial/birthday. It felt so good to be helping Greg. It was what she had hoped for all along, since she realised they had this terrible grief in common.
Chapter Ten
Monday night Mallory’s shifts in the pub started again. It was good to see Ron. He said he had missed her smiling face behind the bar and his beer hadn’t tasted quite as good with her not pouring it for him. Colin and Christine called in for dinner and she sat chatting with them for a while. Mallory learned that Christine made the most beautiful jewellery. She was wearing a gorgeous amethyst necklace and earrings that she had crafted using real gemstones. It was stunning. They were such a lovely couple.
Tuesday meant Greg would perform at the pub again. As usual he was on top form. He wore a new shirt – this one was white with folded back sleeves and a tiny pale blue paisley pattern on. It made him look tanned. He was so happy when he was performing and it was an infectious happiness that brought the pub to life. Mallory was bobbing up and down and singing along when she knew the words, but she did so quietly so as not to get in trouble with the artiste.
By the time Saturday had come around she was all ready for the beach barbie with Greg. She had made him a gift and wrapped it in her own hand-printed paper. It looked quite effective and she gave herself a little pat on the back, proud of her achievement.
She dressed in black linen trousers and a teal long-sleeved T-shirt that she had bought in Canada. She slipped on a black denim jacket, another treat from her travels. Her black sparkly flip-flops finished the look nicely. She went for contacts and left her glasses on the mantle next to the urn.
As promised Greg arrived at seven. He wore khaki cropped combats, flip-flops and a cream granddad-collar linen shirt. He had sunglasses on the top of his head, pushing his hair straight back. He looked nice, Mallory thought. Handsome even.
The weather was warm and dry and the sun was on the verge of beginning its descent. Greg had brought a kettle barbeque, coals, burgers, steaks and sausages. Mallory provided bread, salad and a picnic set. Greg
had found some candle lanterns on stalks that stuck into the sand. Mallory had brought the paper lanterns and they had both written and kept their own tags.
They loaded up the Landy and drove a little way along the road to a small secluded beach. There was no one else around so Mallory set out their blanket and stuck the candles in the ground while Greg lit the barbeque straight away. Whilst the coals were heating to the right temperature for cooking, Mallory pulled out the package and handed it to him.
‘Oh Mallory, what’s this? You didn’t have to get me a gift,’ he protested, but from his smile she knew that secretly he was glad she did. Greg opened it eagerly and took out the hand-made plaque, reading aloud. ‘True friends are hard to find, thank goodness I found you.’ He smiled and she saw water well in his eyes.
He didn’t speak but clambered over to her and hugged her tightly. He looked down at her and it seemed as though ten different emotions fought for the surface all at once.
‘I couldn’t have dreamt of anything better, Mallory, it’s beautiful… thank you.’ He paused, gazing into her eyes.
A strange feeling washed over her. Her stomach lurched and her heart began to pound. She knew that he felt it too. She was terrified that he was about to kiss her and had no clue what she would do if he did.
He didn’t do it.
He pulled away from her and stood to attend to the coals. ‘I… think the temperature should be about right now. Better get the food on, eh?’
She felt a mixture of relief, sadness and other things that she chose to ignore. They went back to chatting normally.
‘Something has been bugging me, Greg.’ Mallory’s curiosity had been lying in wait for the right opportunity. ‘How come you didn’t want to invite anyone else here today?’
He shrugged. ‘All I can say is that the friends I’ve had in the past have had a habit of letting me down in big ways. I just feel it’s better to keep myself to myself.’
‘But what about me?’ Mallory wondered aloud, immediately regretting that the words had fallen out of her mouth.
He pulled his lips in and then huffing out said, ‘You’re different. Don’t ask me why, but I trust you. I don’t think you’d ever betray me. I get the feeling I’d only ever lose your friendship if I was the one who did the wrong thing.’ He looked directly into her eyes.
‘Hmm, better be on your best behaviour then,’ she laughed, trying to lighten the suddenly sombre mood.
Their meal was delicious and they drank a little wine but Greg switched to soda after one glass. Once they were stuffed and had eaten their fill of steak and hotdogs, they carried the lanterns and tags to the water’s edge. The temperature had dropped and Mallory was now chilly. Greg had said that she could speak first and so she began.
‘Mairi, you were a bright light in Greg’s life. You were a brave and adventurous woman, you made my friend very happy and I’m sure, had I met you, we would have been the best of friends too. Now you’ve left this world you’re a bright star in the night sky, you’re missed and will always be loved.’ She let her lantern go and they watched it float away.
Greg turned to her, squeezed her hand and spoke, almost in a whisper, ‘That was beautiful. Thank you.’ He turned to face out to sea; tears welling in his eyes. He looked to Mallory again and she nodded in encouragement.
He took a deep breath and let the words go. ‘Mairi, my heart and my love, you were a vivacious, stunningly beautiful woman, both inside and out, I was so proud of you for all you achieved at such a young age. Your courage knew no bounds. When you walked into a room, all heads turned and you made everyone smile; especially me. Since you left, my world has got a little darker. I’ve spent the last year feeling a type of pain that no one else could understand. Mallory came along and changed that. She helped me to come to terms with losing you. She helped me to come here today to say goodbye in a way I wasn’t able to do before. I miss you so much that sometimes I still feel physical pain, but I know that you can’t return and I have to try and let you go.’ A sob escaped his trembling lips and Mallory put a hand on his shoulder. ‘Please know that wherever you are I will always, always love you.’
He let his lantern go. The two friends stood side by side and watched as their lanterns disappeared into the distance.
Greg rubbed the dampness from his face and turned to Mallory. ‘There’s one more thing I need to do… to let go of… You see my necklace?’ He held out the little stone on the black leather cord he always wore around his neck and she nodded. ‘It’s a pebble from this very beach. Mairi carved the Celtic symbol into it. It represents two opposites working together. She gave it to me when we’d been together a while.’ His voice croaked. ‘She said that’s what we were; opposites that somehow needed each other. Like… dark and light… Night and day… You can’t have one without the other. She was the adventurous spirit and I was the grounded one, she said.’ He unfastened the necklace and gripped the stone in his hand. ‘I need to let it go now. Let it become part of the beach again. Let the cycle complete.’ He kissed the stone and launched it into the sea so far that they couldn’t see when it hit the water.’ He stood silently looking out at the water for a while until he eventually turned to Mallory again. ‘Thank you for suggesting this. It’s been really cathartic.’ He smiled and touched her cheek. ‘You need to know that I would never have let go of all this if it wasn’t for… your help.’ His hand dropped to his side.
Mallory was shivering now and Greg put his arm around her, making her feel a little warmer. They wandered back up the beach to where their blanket and candles still remained. Greg grabbed a fleece from the Landy and threw a blanket to Mallory.
After sitting, looking at the stars for a while, and drinking hot chocolate from a flask that Greg had produced from the car, they decided it was too cold to stay longer so they packed their things away in silence.
Greg drove them back to Mallory’s house. He put on the handbrake and they sat for a few moments. There was a palpable tension in the air between them. They had been through a lot this evening and Mallory suspected it was the weight of all the emotions they had shared and experienced.
‘Do you want to come in for a coffee?’ she asked eventually, immediately wondering if the suggestion was a bad idea.
Evidently Greg felt the same as he shook his head. ‘Ah, thanks, but I should get back to Angus really. I’ve had a great birthday. Thanks for making it so special.’ His eyes sparkled in the moonlight.
‘You’re more than welcome. I had fun too. And you were right, you cook a mean steak.’ She punched his arm playfully.
‘Why thank you, Miss Westerman, how kind you are.’
‘I speak only that which is true, Mr McBradden,’ she giggled in a posh voice.
‘Enough of this nonsense, now bugger off so I can get home to my dog and my bed.’ He waved his hands towards the house.
She obeyed and climbed out of the car still giggling and she waved from the door as he drove away.
*
Monday morning was rainy and cold for July. Since returning from Canada Mallory had thought long and hard about Sam’s ashes. She was beginning to feel that it was time to set them free. She rang Josie to see if she agreed.
‘Mallory, it has to be done when you’re ready. But I think maybe you are. The service in Canada was a big step for you and it sounds like it really helped. Maybe it’s time.’
Mallory sighed. ‘Maybe. I have thought about driving around the places we went to when we were in Scotland for that camping road trip. Maybe releasing them bit by bit. Is that weird?’
‘Not at all. People do that kind of thing all the time. Remember that scene in the film Elizabethtown where Orlando Bloom’s character takes his father’s ashes on a road trip? I thought that was really sweet. You could do the same kind of thing.’
Mallory smiled. ‘Oh, I love that film. Never fails to make me cry.’
Josie chuckled down the line. ‘That’s ’cause you’re a sap. Hey, do you want me to come up to go
with you?’
‘No, don’t worry. I know you’re busy in the shop right now and you’ve been up and down a lot. I think maybe Greg will go if I ask him. He knows his way around better than I do and I think he would drive me.’
‘Good idea. You guys seem to be getting on really well since you came home.’
‘Yes, he’s great. He’s fun to be around.’
Josie laughed. ‘I don’t believe a word of that,’ she teased.
‘He is! We laugh a lot.’
‘Well they say laughter is the best medicine. Let me know how you get on.’
‘I will. And Josie?’
‘Yes hun?’
‘Thanks ever so much for all the hard work you’re doing in the shop.’
‘Ahem, you don’t have to thank me for doing something I love.’
Mallory was relieved to hear that Josie was still enjoying running the place. ‘Well, I appreciate it. Right I’m off. Speak soon. Love you.’
‘Love you too, chick.’
The next day Mallory had a busy time in her workshop painting signs and packaging them up to post to Josie for the shop. She loved being covered in paint again and came up with some funky new designs. She had chatted briefly to Colin and Christine about her work and they had asked if she would like to sell some in their shop. She jumped at the chance and had produced some signs ready for display. She had chosen to hang them from a beautiful piece of gnarled and twisted, almost sculptural, driftwood she had found when she and Greg had been to the beach.
Later when she was working her evening shift with Greg at the pub she decided to ask him about her idea for Sam’s ashes. She told him what she was planning and then took a deep breath, hoping she didn’t sound cheeky.
‘I wondered if you would mind driving me?’ She cringed and awaited his answer.
He smiled. ‘Mallory, I’d be honoured to go with you. Thank you for asking me to be a part of it.’ He seemed genuinely touched.
They agreed that they would go on a mini trek that weekend. She just hoped she was strong enough to go through with the difficult task.