A Seaside Escape: A feel-good romance to warm your heart this winter

by Lisa Hobman

  At home, late that night and for the next few days, Mallory looked through old photos of her adventures with Sam and planned the places she would scatter the ashes. It was a difficult plan to make and looking at the photos brought the raw emotions to the surface once again. The two of them smiling, kissing and laughing from the glossy pages as if all was perfect. It had been.

  *

  Saturday was bright and fresh. Ron had a key to collect Ruby for a day of treats and walks and Greg picked her up at seven for their early start. They had a lot of distance to cover. What they were going to do in a day had taken Sam and Mallory a week the previous year. She had her map with little red stickers marking the main places and Greg had brought a flask of coffee. He had also made a CD for the journey with songs that were special to Mallory and Sam. When he told her of this she burst into tears at the thoughtful gesture. He held her whilst she cried. Today was going to be emotionally fraught. There was no doubt about that.

  After around an hour of chatting, listening to music and the odd lengthy pensive silence, they arrived at Kentallen on the edge of Loch Linnhe, the first destination on the list. Mallory and Sam had spent a night in a log cabin here on the shores of the stunning loch. They had eaten at the beautiful Art Deco hotel on the shore. Then they had gone walking and been bitten by midges. They spent the following day stopping to lather each other in lotions and potions to ease the itching. She smiled to herself at the memory.

  Greg stayed by the car and gave her some space to deal with the raw emotions that bubbled to the surface She walked to the water’s edge, opened the urn and grabbed a handful of the dust in the bottom. Lifting her hand, she opened her palm and let the dust be carried away on the breeze. Tears trickled down her cheeks as she watched it dissipate.

  When she was ready to leave, they got back in the car to head for the second stop, Glencoe. The journey was a shorter one and took them through the most stunning mountain scenery. The colours were so vivid. Hues of brown covered the rocky ground like a lumpy carpet. The azure blue sky stretched like a blanket overhead. The Peak of the Buckle, the base of which was where Greg met Mairi, was visible in the distance. Greg stayed silent as if he was making sure that this was about Mallory, not himself. She appreciated the unspoken act of kindness.

  They arrived at Glencoe and Greg stayed in the car again as Mallory wandered off for a while in solitude to scatter the next handful of dust. It almost sparkled as it dissipated in the warming air. It was at the gift shop here at Glencoe Visitors Centre where Mallory and Sam had bought a tree for the garden at Railway Terrace and a CD of music by the Peatbog Faeries which became the soundtrack of their holiday. She remembered the way the Highland cows had all wandered towards them as they had stood looking up at the view. One of the cows had sounded asthmatic and it had made Sam laugh hysterically whilst Mallory had talked to the cow trying to reassure it. Thinking back to that time made her smile.

  She returned to find Greg leaning, arms folded, eyes closed and head back, against the Landy.

  She suddenly felt ravenous.

  ‘C’mon, breakfast is on me. The cafe should be open by now,’ she called to Greg.

  He jogged over to where she stood and they tramped up the wooden walkway side by side.

  Once their order of coffee and bacon sandwiches was placed they sat at a table which gave them a wonderful view outside.

  Greg had been quiet for a few moments. With a frown on his face, he announced, ‘You know, I’m kind of jealous of the relationship you had with Sam. I mean because of how intensely you loved each other.’

  She bit her lip before answering. ‘Your love for Mairi was intense.’

  He exhaled loudly. ‘The thing with Mairi was… she was adventurous. She was always looking for that next natural high. I supported her, of course I did, but since I lost her I’ve often wondered how long it would have taken for her to move on anyway.’

  Mallory felt concern for her friend’s unhelpful train of thought. She shook her head. ‘Greg, you can’t think that way. I’m sure she loved you just the same.’

  ‘Na. The more I’ve looked back, since meeting you and witnessing how strong things were for you guys, I got to analysing my relationship. You see, Mairi was a good deal younger than me. If I’m honest I think maybe things were one-sided.’ Greg paused as their food arrived. He thanked the waitress and looked back to Mallory. ‘I think that all along I feared that she’d leave. I was always happy in the Highlands. It’s where I belong; where I feel safe and at home. Mairi was always looking to the horizon. I reckon it wouldn’t have been too long before she found someone else on one of her trips. You know… someone who was a bit more adventurous, like her.’ A sad expression came over his face and his soliloquy had shocked Mallory into a bewildered silence. ‘Sorry. This day isn’t about me. I’m waffling on.’

  Mallory looked down, feeling sorry for him, but sure that he didn’t want her sympathy. ‘No… no it’s fine. I-I’m just shocked that you feel that way.’ She wasn’t really sure what to say.

  ‘I’m just being realistic. What you and Sam had… I want that. It was real and genuine… It was true love.’ He looked at his food but didn’t eat. ‘All that said, I still loved Mairi with all my heart. Don’t get me wrong, I would’ve married her after the first date. And all the emotions I felt… feel… are still real. Nothing can change that.’ He smiled. Mallory watched as Greg wrestled with his thoughts. His words preyed on her mind and she wished she was able to prove him wrong – or to just ease his mind in some way. But instead she remained silent, knowing that the mood of the day had taken a subtle shift.

  They finished their breakfast and headed back for the car. They set off on the next leg of their journey and a little while later they arrived at the Corran Ferry Terminal and boarded the ferry once it arrived fifteen minutes later. Their journey across the water on the two-car vessel was a smooth one and they were quickly delivered to the other side of the water.

  The next part of their journey was just over two hours. They headed for Glenfinnan on the longer, scenic route which took them through the Ardnamurchan peninsula. The virtually unspoilt scenery was timeless and vast. The rocky landscape made up of dormant volcanoes was the stuff of sci-fi movies. They passed through the lush green village of Acharacle with its little school and holidaymakers. The remains of Castle Tioram were just visible from the road.

  From the car park at Glenfinnan they could see the statuesque monument, which commemorated the Jacobite rising, standing proudly looking over Loch Shiel. The majestic loch behind glistened in the early afternoon sunshine. They walked towards the monument and Mallory thought back to when she was here with Sam. It had been virtually deserted. Sam had climbed the internal staircase right to the top of the monument and Mallory had taken a zoomed photo looking up at him from ground level.

  Mallory asked Greg if she could have a few moments alone at the water’s edge. The huge piece of twisted tree trunk, where an old man had taken a photo of Sam and Mallory, was still there. The photo was one of her favourites. They looked so happy and windswept with the sparkling loch and the mountains creating a v-shaped valley for their backdrop. Mallory let another handful of dust fly freely towards the heavens.

  She allowed herself a few tears at this point. It had been such a special place for them. They had never got bored of just sitting cuddled up on the twisted tree trunk looking out over the water.

  As they strolled back to the car, Greg put his arm around Mallory’s shoulder and squeezed her to him.

  He kissed her head. ‘How are you holding up, matey?’ he asked quietly.

  ‘I’m good. It’s just hard. But it has to be done.’ After a pause she continued, ‘Greg, I’m glad you’re with me.’

  ‘Me too, hen, me too.’

  They climbed back into the car and Greg started the engine. ‘Where are we off to next then?’ he enquired and Mallory looked at her itinerary.

  ‘Fort Augustus,’ she replied. ‘Sam and I visited there a cou
ple of times. I remember standing on the little bridge over the locks watching the water pouring in to lift a boat up. It was fascinating. We had ice cream sundaes in a little cafe just by the Caledonian Canal. Sam thought they were the best sundaes he had ever eaten. I say “they”, as he ended up eating most of mine too, greedy sod.’ She chuckled at the memory.

  They decided to stop for an impromptu lunch at a pretty little pub they saw on the way to their next destination.

  As they walked through the doors Greg announced, ‘I don’t know about you but I’m starving!’

  Mallory nudged him. ‘No wonder, you hardly ate any of your breakfast.’

  Mallory excused herself to go wash up and check her red eyes and puffy face in the mirror. She splashed cold water on her cheeks and applied a little lip balm. She was glad she had decided against wearing her contacts today. Her eyes would’ve been too sore.

  Greg was hungrily perusing the menu when she arrived back at their table. He had ordered her a large glass of wine.

  ‘What are you having then?’ she asked.

  ‘I think I may have to go with the steak pie and chips’ He rubbed his hands together looking greedy and excited. ‘Although, I doubt it will be as good as Stella’s eh?’

  Mallory wasn’t that hungry. She still felt full from her bacon sandwich so she chose a salad and Greg went to order.

  Their food arrived and Greg wolfed down his meal like a vacuum cleaner. Mallory was aghast at the sheer lightning speed of it. She munched through her salad but didn’t finish it all.

  They set off again for Fort Augustus and parked in a little car park next to an old fuel station and convenience store. They walked around to the little bridge over the lock, the breeze had dropped slightly and so Mallory was able to release a handful of dust on to the water where it was free to float out towards the loch.

  They didn’t stay long at Fort Augustus. The ice cream parlour was now a normal cafe which saddened Mallory a little. She stood gazing into the window for a few moments until she realised a little girl sitting at the window table was pulling faces at her. She giggled and walked back over to the bridge where Greg waited.

  The final leg of their journey to Eilean Donan Castle would take them just over an hour. Mallory had taken some stunning photos of Sam on the footbridge. The imposing castle on its little island was another favourite of theirs. Sam loved the history of the island fort and had researched it before they went for the first time. He had impressed Mallory with knowledge of the meaning behind its name and the Celtic saint it was named after. He went on to explain to her that the castle she could see standing there was not the original as that had been almost totally destroyed after Spanish soldiers moved in and the British forces opened fire on them in the eighteenth century. How he loved his history.

  When they arrived, Greg began taking photos of the imposing structure whilst Mallory went up onto the footbridge to release another handful of dust. She looked out over Loch Duich and remembered Sam also taking photos. He took what felt like hundreds all from different angles. Her particular favourite was a shot that showed the most glorious cornflower blue sky with the castle standing proud in the forefront. It had been framed by Mallory as a gift to Sam. The sky looked like an applied effect but it had genuinely been just as vivid in reality.

  She had two more places to go, but she would do those alone in her own time. This part of her ordeal was over. She headed back towards Greg.

  ‘Hey, are you all right?’ Greg asked with concern. He could probably tell that she had been crying again. She felt her swollen eyes were probably a giveaway.

  ‘I’m okay. I found that bit so hard.’ She stifled a sob.

  Greg rushed to her, enfolding her in his arms. ‘Hey, shhhh, it’s okay. You’ve done so well. You’ve been so brave. I’m proud of you,’ Greg soothed, speaking softly as he kissed her head and stroked her hair.

  The journey home was going to take around three and a half hours and it was already just past five o’clock, so they climbed back into the car and set off. They sat in contemplative silence for a while looking at the stunning views through the dirty car windows. Mallory leaned her head against the doorpost as she gazed off into the distance.

  Greg broke the silence first. ‘So, it’s been a nice day, weather-wise, eh?’ He kept his eyes on the road. Here he was again with his terrible attempts at small talk.

  Mallory smiled to herself. ‘I really appreciate you bringing me, Greg. I think I would’ve hated to make the journey alone,’ she said without changing the direction of her stare.

  ‘Aye, well, Josie would’ve come surely?’

  In her periphery she noticed him glancing over at her but she wasn’t in the mood for eye contact.

  ‘Yes, Josie offered. I just thought that… well you know how I feel about it all. You’ve lost someone you were in love with.’ She wiped away a tear that had sneaked out.

  He sighed. ‘Aye, that’s true.’

  She turned to face him. ‘And, Greg, all that stuff you said before about being unsure of her feelings for you… there’s no point torturing yourself over that. You loved her. Maybe you’ll never know the true depth of her feelings. So, you just go with how you feel about her. What’s the point in dwelling on whether she did or didn’t love you the same?’ Mallory hoped that her tone was neither condescending nor harsh. But she turned away, not wanting to see his reaction.

  They sat in silence again and eventually Mallory dozed off and slept for the remainder of the journey. A while later she awoke when the car stopped. She opened her eyes to see the familiar sight of Sealladh-mara Cottage. It was heading towards nine in the evening and the moon was bright in a crystal-clear sky, dotted with millions of tiny spots of light.

  Mallory climbed out of the car. ‘I won’t invite you in, if you don’t mind. I hope that’s not unfair of me. I have a job to do before I go in. Then I just want to go to bed and cry myself to sleep.’ She smiled as she spoke, not feeling the expression go any deeper than her face.

  ‘Hey, no bother. You take care and give me a call if you need me okay?’ Greg replied through the open door of the car.

  She nodded. ‘Thanks again, Greg. I can’t express how much today has meant to me.’

  ‘You’re very welcome. I’m glad I was able to help.’ He smiled. ‘Goodnight sweet Mallory Westerman. Sleep well, eh?’

  She slammed the door and waited for him to pull away. Once he was out of sight she took the urn and walked slowly over to the midpoint of the Atlantic Bridge and there she stood, with tears falling freely once again.

  ‘Oh, Sam. I’m so glad we didn’t know the future on that first day we stood here. It breaks my heart to think that this is how things ended up. But you loved it here so very much. And now a part of you will forever be part of this beautiful landscape.’ She reached into the urn and took half of the remaining ashes. Holding them aloft, she released her hold of them over the bridge and let them fly towards the ocean that had brought Sam to her in the first place.

  One more location to go and that would mean a trip to Yorkshire.

  *

  Mallory arranged to visit Brad and Josie the following weekend. The urn was packed away in her bag and Ruby sat in the footwell of the passenger side fast asleep as they drove the long journey back to Yorkshire. It was strange to be back at Railway Terrace as a guest but she was happy to see that not much had changed since Josie and Brad bought the place. She dropped her bag in the guest room, freshened up and then Josie drove them into the centre of Leeds. It was nearing ten at night and the place was buzzing with city revellers taking advantage of the Leeds nightlife.

  They walked up the precinct to the place where she had first fallen into Sam’s arms and Josie hung back a little. That particular part of the precinct was without nightclubs and so Mallory had a little peace for what she needed to do.

  ‘Who would have thought that after such a chance meeting we’d fall in love?’ she said as the warm memory of Sam wrapped its arms around her
as she stood. This place had been the start of such an important time in her life. A time that had moulded her into the much more confident person she was right then. She removed a handful of ashes from the pot and let them drift away in the light breeze that wafted around the sheltered precinct.

  Finally, she walked up to the coffee shop which was closed for the evening. She looked through the window where she could just about make out the table she had shared with Sam. Her palms pressed against the window, as did her forehead, almost searching for some connection to the past. She remembered how he looked at her and listened intently as she waffled on about rubbish. He had made her feel worth listening to. He made her feel sexy and attractive; wanted and needed.

  ‘I owe you so much Sam. I’ll never forget you.’ With tears glistening in her eyes and trailing their mark of sadness down her face she released the last of the ashes and said her final goodbye.

  Chapter Eleven

  August 2015

  After an emotional few days Mallory returned to Scotland and walked in through the front door of her home. The silence was almost deafening and she couldn’t wait to get back to the pub later for her shift.

  After showering and changing, she gave Ruby a bone to chew on and left her with the promise of being back very soon. Obviously Ruby was far more interested in the juicy treat and didn’t raise her head as Mallory left. She inhaled the warm summer air as she walked the few hundred yards to the pub and pushed the door open. Greg was nowhere to be seen and Stella had no clue where he was either. There had been no phone call or text to say he wouldn’t be in, which was strange.

  By ten that night Mallory was beginning to worry. They had been spending so much time together lately that she felt sure he would have mentioned if he was going to be elsewhere.

  Admittedly, he had been rather quiet throughout the day, unlike normal when he would just turn up and take her for lunch or call and ask if she fancied a trip out on the boat.

  When there was a lull in customers she decided to give him a call. His answering machine kicked in again. Glancing at her watch, she spotted the date and frowned. It can’t be the twentieth. Oh shit. It is the twentieth! Suddenly she was filled with horror. She’d been so preoccupied today that she had somehow got her days mixed up. And now Greg was somewhere, alone, on the anniversary of Mairi’s death.