by Lisa Hobman
Once she had picked up some milk from the shop she wandered back along the road towards her house. Much to her chagrin, Greg was sitting at one of the tables outside the pub. She couldn’t avoid passing him and although she wanted to run her legs chose that moment to forget how to work.
Come on Mallory, you can do this, just smile and walk by, don’t let him upset you, not again.
‘Mallory!’ Greg called to her. She looked over to where he sat. ‘Can you talk?’
Now her subconscious screamed a hundred sarcastic retorts, but she couldn’t bring herself to say any of them out loud.
‘What are you doing here? I thought you were out walking,’ she said dryly.
‘Aye, I was but I wanted to talk to you… alone… so I asked Alice to head on without me. I’ll meet her back at the house.’ He looked at his shoes.
So, she’s staying with him too. How cosy.
She sighed. ‘What did you want to talk about?’ she asked coldly.
‘Will you sit for a while?’ He gestured to the other side of the table.
Reluctantly, she sat down, placing the milk and her purse side by side.
‘I haven’t seen you for a while, how are you?’
‘I’m fine thanks. Is that it because I have people coming.’
‘To view the house?’ He picked at a splinter of wood protruding from the table.
‘Yes. Not that it’s anything to do with you.’
‘Why do you have to be so hostile, Mallory? Nothing has changed for me. I wish you’d realise that.’
‘It’s of no consequence to me how you feel. How is your wife liking it here?’ The acerbity of her tone did not taste good, even though she couldn’t help but say what she was thinking.
Greg bit his top lip and shook his head. He was angry and she didn’t blame him really. ‘Okay, we’re being like that, are we? She’s just here to finalise things. That’s all. And I really thought you and I had something a little more mature, Mallory. I thought there were feelings on both sides of this. Clearly I was wrong.’ He looked directly at her, making her fidget uncomfortably.
His words stung and she winced. ‘Greg, you’re married. You kept that fact from me just as I was about to give myself to you. Whilst I was still grieving for the real love of my life. Excuse me if I’m a little indignant.’
‘Can we at least be civil? Or maybe even friends? We got along so well, Mallory. Don’t you miss that? I know I do.’
‘It’s irrelevant. I can’t trust you. How can we possibly be friends?’ She pushed her glasses up her nose.
‘Okay, well, it was worth a try.’ He sniffed and looked down at the table. ‘Will you do me one thing? Will you tell me if you do sell the house? I would at least like a chance to say goodbye.’
‘Greg, we said goodbye that day in August,’ she said regretfully and left him sitting there.
She walked away from him for the second time that day and again a little piece of her heart broke. She walked fast in case he had decided to follow. He hadn’t.
When she got back to the cottage, she closed her front door behind her and burst into tears – a regular occurrence of late.
*
The young couple who viewed the cottage that afternoon had apparently fallen in love with it and made an offer—albeit a low one—an hour after they left. Mallory noted the anxiety that knotted her insides when the estate agent called with the details but was determined to dismiss the unease. After pushing the niggling worry down she gave an indication to the agent that the offer would need to be increased significantly if she were to consider it and he said he would discuss the matter with the couple and come back to her with any further news.
Her shift started at seven that night. When she arrived outside she was greeted with a sight she would rather not have encountered. The chalkboard she had made for Greg was propped up outside the door and it was evident that her former friend was playing. Great. She was tempted to turn and retreat back to the cosy womb of her newly decorated house. But instead she walked through the door, putting a fraudulent smile on her face. She would be busy so it would all be fine. Wouldn’t it?
She got herself set behind the bar and noticed Greg was sitting in his usual pre-gig spot with her. They were chatting and laughing together. Every so often she would touch his arm or toss her hair. From what Greg had told her of Alice it seemed that old habits, did indeed, die hard. Once again Mallory was reminded of the fickleness of the man who had claimed to love her. If that was the case why had he brought Alice and paraded her around like his love for Mallory had never existed.
Dammit! Alice looked over and realised that Mallory was glaring in their direction. She muttered something to Greg who turned towards the bar. Mallory quickly dropped her gaze and wiped the glass she was holding so hard that it slipped from her grasp and shards of glass flew everywhere as the vessel shattered.
Greg rushed over. ‘Hey are you okay?’ he enquired, concerned.
‘It’s just broken glass. I’m fine.’
‘Let me help you.’ He grabbed the dustpan and brush from its place on top of the dishwasher, but she snatched it from his hands.
‘Greg, just go. You’re supposed to be singing, aren’t you? So, go do it,’ she snapped viciously.
‘Look I’ve said sorry about everything. What else am I meant to do?’ he pleaded.
‘Nothing. There is nothing you can do. Just go!’
Ten minutes later Greg sat in his usual place ready to perform. The bar had filled up and there was a hum of chatter and anticipation. Greg had become somewhat of a local star and his gigs were very well attended. Mallory did her best to stay focused and busy, serving the many thirsty customers.
‘Evening all.’ Greg’s voice boomed out of the PA system. ‘I’m not going to talk much tonight. I’m sure yous don’t want to hear me rambling on about stuff all night, eh?’ He cleared his throat. ‘I know you all are gradually discovering how eclectic my taste in music is. Well just to prove the point even further I’m going to kick off with a little bit of Chicago. The band not the musical.’ He chuckled and the audience chuckled with him. ‘This is a beautiful song called “Hard to Say I’m Sorry”.’ The audience clapped and cheered before falling silent and listening intently as raw emotion poured from Greg’s lips.
Mallory tried her damnedest to swallow the lump that had become lodged in her throat as she listened to the words she knew were indubitably for her benefit. She avoided making eye contact with him at all costs and she had to remind herself why this chasm had opened between them lest she run over and fling her arms around him.
She stuck it as long as she could but when her emotions got the better of her Mallory had to leave the room. She went to the ladies restroom and splashed water on her face. When she stood up and looked in the mirror at her red, puffy eyes, a presence startled her.
‘Hello Mallory,’ the beautiful blonde woman addressed her reflection.
‘Alice.’ She dabbed her face with some paper towels and threw them in the waste bin.
Alice folded her arms across her chest and leaned on the sink. ‘You’ve broken his heart you know.’
Mallory scrunched her brow, affronted at the accusation and annoyed at being cornered in the bathroom. ‘I think you got there before me, don’t you?’
‘What you’re doing is much worse,’ Alice snorted.
‘How the hell do you figure that one out?’ Mallory couldn’t quite believe her ears.
‘You could just walk away. You could crawl back to your little hole in Yorkshire and let him move on. But instead you’re here taunting him with the presence of what he thinks he wants but can’t have. It’s cruel.’ Her eyes flashed angrily.
Bile rose in Mallory’s throat. ‘How dare you? You told him you were pregnant! There was no baby! That is the epitome of cruelty. Then you slept with his best friend! And my “hole”, as you referred to it, is more desirable than spending another second in your fucking company.’ Mallory was shaking with rage as she
stepped forwards to leave. She didn’t swear lightly and the words falling from her mouth sounded completely alien.
Alice stepped to block her way. ‘You should know, before you walk away, that he and I are going to give things another go. He still loves me. It won’t take him long to get over you.’ And with that she turned and walked out.
Mallory leaned against the sink feeling as if she had been winded.
She gathered herself and went back out to the bar. She glanced over to Greg who was having a drink before his next song. Mallory wondered if Alice was right. Was her presence hurting him more? She didn’t intend to make things worse. But he had been the one to convince her to stay. God this was so damned confusing. Did he still love Alice? After everything she had put him through? And if so, how could she stand in the way of that? If he was willing to give his wife another chance then maybe Mallory being here was making things worse? She knew he had feelings for her. No one is that good a liar, surely? But Mallory wasn’t his wife. Alice was and that had to count for something.
Greg lifted his head and locked chocolate brown eyes filled with sadness on her but Alice arrived at his side, briefly drawing his attention away as she kissed the top of his head.
Stella, who had appeared from the back, saw the display of affection and looked over at Mallory with a sad smile.
‘Anyway, onto my next number… ahem… Now unrequited love is a bitch eh? I know, I’ve been there; anyone else?’ The audience murmured in agreement. ‘Aye well, some of you should relate well to this next one. It’s by one of my favourite bands, Fleetwood Mac, and it’s called “Go Your Own Way”. Oh, and don’t sing along, eh?’ He forced a laugh and winked at the audience who laughed along with him. But Mallory knew the smile hadn’t reached his eyes.
He began to sing yet another song aimed at Mallory. She felt her cheeks burn and saw Alice glaring at her as if to say I told you so.
Greg’s eye burned into Mallory whilst he sang. She wanted to leave but for some reason she was equally compelled to stay. She didn’t want to run and give Alice the satisfaction of knowing she had burrowed under her skin.
Greg was doing his usual thing of communicating with other people’s words and tonight he was once again on a mission.
‘Sorry folks, it’s all a bit melancholy tonight. I’m feeling that way out. Must be my hormones.’ He laughed. ‘Anyway, this next one is a sad, sad song by a wonderful song writer called John Waite. It’s about a guy who’s in love with a girl. She left him and moved away. He really doesn’t know why she’s gone and he misses her desperately but he’s trying to convince himself that he isn’t… he’s failing miserably. She’s all he can think about. She’s all he sees. He wants her to realise and come back to him… it’s called “Missing You”.’
He began to play and Mallory stopped what she was doing this time. If he has something to say then you should damn well listen!
She listened for a few moments, knowing the song of old. The lump in her throat returned and she was finding it difficult to see through the glassy film over her eyes. Was this one actually aimed at Alice? Was this his way of telling her he wished they had never parted? Unable to take any more she feigned a headache and Stella told her to go on home. She was certain that Stella knew exactly what the real reason for her swift departure was. Mallory slipped out of the back door and made her way back to the cottage.
As soon as she walked through the door she grabbed the phone, needing to hear Josie’s voice.
‘Hi, babe! How you doing?’ Josie answered within two rings.
Mallory sobbed down the line at her best friend. ‘I need to come and stay. Please, can me and Rubes come tomorrow?’
‘Of course you can, hun. What on earth has happened?’ Josie’s voice was filled with concern.
‘I just need to get away from here, from Greg; from memories.’
‘Come whenever you like, hun. I’ll make the spare room up.’
Before bed Mallory packed a small case with essentials and set it by the door ready for an early start in the morning. Ruby jumped on to the bed and snuggled up to her. Mallory sobbed once again into the fur of the little black dog.
After breakfast the next day Mallory scooped up Ruby and her case and put them in the car. It was nine o’clock and she was determined to set off soon. She pulled up outside Colin’s shop and went in to let him know she was going away for a few days. She had already called Stella who had been very understanding, as always.
She turned the car around and began to pull away when Greg appeared out of nowhere in front of the car; hands held up to stop her. She slammed on the breaks and he came around to the driver’s side. Reluctantly she rolled down the window.
His expression was pained and he was out of breath. ‘Mallory… are you leaving?’
‘What does it matter to you?’ Her frustration was evident in her terse tone.
‘The case in the back. Ruby… are you going for good?’
‘Why don’t you ask your wife, Greg,’ she bristled and hit the accelerator.
Chapter Fourteen
It felt good to be emancipated, even if was temporarily, from the stress of the chaos that had become her relationship with Greg. She was looking forward to seeing Josie too.
She flicked through her iPod and found her workout songs tracklist. An angry singalong was just what the doctor ordered and the growling, scathing lyrics of ‘You Oughta Know’ by Alanis Morissette seemed so fitting and rang through the car and out into the warm September morning via the rolled down windows. Then it was the turn of Pearl Jam and ‘Rearview Mirror’ followed by Avril Lavigne’s ‘My Happy Ending’. All good clear-your-head-get-it-outta-your-system songs. She could almost convince herself she felt better already.
Seven hours later after taking only one brief stop-off; and after singing along to as many angry, loud songs as she could lay her hands on, at the top of her voice – much to the amusement of other motorists – she arrived at Railway Terrace. It was just after six and she was starving.
Josie had seen her pull up and was waiting. Exiting the car and almost running up the driveway, Mallory flung her arms around her best friend.
‘It’s so good to see you,’ Josie said as she hugged her back hard. ‘Brad is just out pricing up a job but he’ll be home soon. I’m so glad you’re here.’
‘It’s good to be here, I’ve missed you,’ Mallory replied, fighting back the threatening tears.
Josie helped Mallory into the house with her things and then made a pot of fresh coffee. Ruby ran around in the familiar surroundings wagging her tail. Once Mallory had deposited her case upstairs she came and sat with Josie in her old lounge and told her about Alice and her antagonistic accusations.
Josie gasped in shock, her hands on her face. ‘So, do you think they’re getting back together for real? Or is that just her wishful thinking?’
She shook her head. ‘I don’t know. She kept touching him and kissing him, but he looked uncomfortable. All the songs he sang had messages which were clearly aimed at me. I don’t know what to think. But it’s irrelevant, Josie. I can’t trust him.’
Josie took a deep breath and paused. ‘Mallory, I get that he was economical with the truth, but you obviously have feelings for him or you wouldn’t have rushed down here. Don’t you think maybe you’ve overreacted a little?’
Mallory was annoyed by the direct approach, but that was Josie; she was nothing if not direct. Mallory shifted in her seat and her lips were pressed together.
Josie continued on her mission of truth, ‘You need to think long and hard, like I’ve said before. If he feels for you like he says he does, then Mrs Conceited-Pants will have no chance at getting into his life again. There are only so many times you’ll let someone break your heart, you know.’
Mallory relaxed a little and sighed as she remembered what Greg had told her about Alice. She was a nasty piece of work, out for her own gains. Greg was just the opposite.
Josie sighed deeply. ‘Mally, can I
be honest with you?’
Mallory huffed. ‘When have you ever been anything else?”
‘Okay, true. But… I think I know what you’re doing.’
Mallory scrunched her brow. ‘So do I. I’m escaping from people who are messing with my mind.’
‘No. I think what you’re doing is sabotaging things out of guilt.’
‘Pfft. How am I doing that?’
Josie took Mallory’s hand. ‘Because you feel guilty for having feelings for Greg. So, you’ve latched onto the first thing that’s cropped up as an obstacle. It’s given you the perfect excuse not to try and make things work with him. You feel guilty because Sam hasn’t been gone long and you’re scared of what people will think. But here’s the thing. People will think you fell in love. They’ll think how lucky you are for getting to have that twice in your life. They’ll think it’s wonderful that you found someone to love and be loved by. That’s all.’
Mallory’s lip trembled and she squeezed Josie’s hand. ‘I just need some time away. I need to be able to think clearly about everything. Not just Greg but what I want to do too. I was considering a second shop at Easdale, up near the house, but then all this happened and I’m now thinking of coming back here and getting a house with a workshop so I can just make things and be near you.’
Josie squeezed her hand. ‘Mallory, you have enough money to open a second shop. You should do it. The Leeds branch is doing so well and I love running it and don’t get me wrong it’s not that I don’t want you to be near me. Of course I do but… I honestly don’t think being back here is what you truly want.’
Regardless of what Josie had said Mallory wasn’t convinced that this was all a smoke screen. She had a lot of thinking to do.
The following day was a trip down memory lane. Mallory hadn’t been into the centre of Leeds since she had scattered Sam’s ashes and even though the journey was tinged with a little sadness it felt good to be back in the hustle and bustle of the busy shopping precinct with its huge department stores and vast array of designer shops.