Up in Flames

by Abbi Glines

  That was his advice? Peachy. “Got it. Where do I go now?”

  “Mexico,” Captain replied, then pulled over just outside the Rosemary Beach town limits. “Good luck.”

  Frowning, I looked at him. “You kicking me out?”

  He nodded. “Yup. Told you I don’t do this world anymore.”

  “How the fuck do I get to Mexico?”

  He shrugged. “Not my problem. I’m sure they’ll show up to get you, eventually. For now, start walking.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Completely” was his only response.

  Nan

  Going to the grocery store wasn’t something I usually did. I had people who did that for me. So when I walked into the Whole Foods, I was a little lost. I wanted more yogurt, but I also wanted to walk around and pick out things for myself for a change. Being cooped up inside my house all the time was driving me crazy. I needed to break free from the four walls I’d been hiding behind. My thoughts stayed locked on Gannon whenever I was alone.

  In order to preoccupy myself, I’d decided that grocery shopping was something I needed to do. I had never actually done it before, and honestly, all the choices were overwhelming. My mind wasn’t going to have time to think about jumping on a plane to Vegas. It was too busy taking this all in.

  The choices of organic vegetables had my head spinning, as did the fruit. I chose a few I knew I liked and a couple I wanted to try out. I thought about taking up cooking. That would be a great way to distract myself. Especially if I burned the house down, which was a possibility.

  I skipped the nuts, because although they were delicious and healthy, they had more fat than I was willing to put into my body. Even if it was good fat. No one could argue with me about it. It was just a no-no for me.

  The Greek yogurt options were more than I could have hoped for. I spent more time there than anywhere else. My calcium was going to be fine. I bought enough to keep the town in yogurt if they came for a visit. Which wouldn’t happen, because I’d probably kick them out.

  I had turned to head down the cereal aisle when I spotted a man at the end of the aisle, just as he was turning the corner. I recognized him. The familiar color of his hair pulled into a man bun. The beard. His jeans were fitted just like I remembered, and he moved like Gannon. It made no sense that he would be here in Rosemary Beach at the Whole Foods store, but I had seen him. Hadn’t I?

  I left my cart right there in front of the cereal and took off running to the aisle five rows down to catch him. No man could be that similar to him. He was unique. My long legs ate up the ground fast, and I was aware that people were staring at me, but I didn’t care.

  When I reached the aisle, it was empty except for a yoga mom with a baby crying in her cart. No man. No Gannon. I’d imagined it. That would make more sense. But I wasn’t ready to give up yet, so I ran down the aisle and then proceeded to check all the other aisles.

  “Excuse me, miss, can I help you?” One of the guys stocking shelves stopped my frantic search, and I realized I’d been at it for a while now. Gannon was not in the Whole Foods, and I was losing my mind.

  I shook my head no and went back to find the cart I’d deserted. The cereal aisle no longer appealed to me. I was ready to leave. I took all my yogurt and a few fruits and veggies and checked out. The cashier kept glancing up at me like I was about to make a mad dash out the door. I guessed she’d seen me searching the place like a madwoman.

  I paid for my food and left. So much for distracting myself. I wasn’t going to go to Vegas and find him, so I was apparently going to stay in Rosemary Beach and hallucinate. But I’d been so sure I had seen him. How could you make that up in your head? He wasn’t even wearing a shirt I had seen before. This one had been long-sleeved and gray. Was it normal for your head to create stuff like this?

  The entire drive back to the house, I replayed what I had seen and tried to tell myself I wasn’t crazy. There had to have been a man who resembled him in that aisle. I didn’t just make that up.

  The yogurt filled up more of my fridge than anticipated, and I left out a mango one and grabbed a spoon. It was time I watched some Gossip Girl. Just something to get my mind off of Gannon. He was ruining me. I needed closure, but how would I get that if I never saw him again?

  The idea of never seeing him again made my chest ache. I didn’t want to think about it. But it was true. He’d be a memory before too long, and I would have to find a way to move on. There had to be someone out there who could help me let him go. A few days with a man, and he had become harder to get over than any guy I’d ever been in an actual relationship with. God, I wished I’d never met him.

  That was a lie. Even though I might be losing my mind because of him, I was glad he had found me. Because until him, I’d never felt the lightning. Now I knew what it was and that it was real.

  The light from the TV still cast a glow over the dark room. When his body moved over mine, I stiffened for a moment, thinking I was awake and this was him. Until I realized that it couldn’t be. I was sleeping, and he was here. Even in the living room. The TV was silent, and I knew I had fallen asleep with the volume on. My mind was just correcting the things that could mess up my fantasy.

  I should thank it for that. Seeing as today it had made me think I might be crazy with a glimpse of him. I moaned as his hand slid up my shirt, and I stretched my body, anxious for more.

  “I didn’t tell you that you could move,” he said. His voice had a teasing lilt to it that I wasn’t used to hearing. “But it pleases me to watch you. Even though my hand itches to slap your ass for wearing those running shorts. Showing off every seductive inch of your shape.”

  Oh. OK. I didn’t open my eyes yet. I enjoyed the closeness of him. When he was with me like this, it was as if we were one being instead of two. He made me feel safe and wanted in a way I had never been before.

  “You like my hands on you whether in pleasure or pain, don’t you?” he asked, although he knew the answer.

  I moved again and bit my lip, just before his hand slapped my stomach. He made a small sound of pleasure, then jerked my shirt off and slapped at my bare breasts before his mouth covered one nipple and began to suck on it. The sting soothed by his heated mouth sent electricity coursing through me. I was so close to an orgasm already that it teased me and licked at me just barely.

  He shoved his hand between my legs roughly, and he didn’t ease into me as his fingers entered with force. His aggressive attack only made me quiver in excitement for more. This made me as twisted as he was. I knew that, but I didn’t care.

  “Suck my dick . . . bitch,” he said, the last as if to test me. As if he knew I’d been called a bitch earlier today in my home and had not liked it at all. This was my dream, so I wanted that from him.

  Being commanded like that did something for me that I’d never expected. Gannon, or the fantasy of Gannon, was showing me just what was in my psyche that I didn’t know was buried there.

  He grabbed a handful of my hair, then pulled me off the sofa and onto my knees in front of his tall, massive, muscular frame. My eyes were open now, and the halo of light around him from the TV made him look like some ancient god here to own and then destroy me.

  Even with that thought, I wanted to please him. I wanted him to handle me roughly. Taking him in my hands, I slowly slid my mouth over the thick head of his erection. I would never get it all into my mouth, but I’d gag myself trying.

  On the first gag, he groaned and grabbed my head, pressing deeper until I couldn’t breathe and thought I might actually throw up. Then he released me, and I pulled back, gasping for air as my saliva ran between him and my mouth in strands. My eyes watered, and I looked up at him, wondering if this was what he wanted to see.

  He cupped my face with his hand. “God, you’re so fucking beautiful.”

  Those words were enough. I began to suck him deeper, and he didn’t touch my head again except to run his fingers through my hair and praise me. I grew so deter
mined and excited with each word from him that I didn’t even realize it when his cock began to grow and the vein on the underside began to pulse, warning me that he was about to come.

  Suddenly, I was jerked back and tossed onto the sofa. “Get the panties off,” he ordered, and I shoved them down while he covered himself with a condom.

  “Good girl. Now, get on your knees and turn around,” he said, moving toward me.

  I turned around and leaned against the back of the sofa on my knees. I stuck my bottom up toward him, knowing that was what he wanted, and I expected the slap that came after it.

  “Shake that ass at me again, and I’ll fuck it,” he growled. Then, in one thrust, he was buried deep inside me. His hot breath was on my neck. “Tightest pussy I’ve ever had.” He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ears. “Sweet ass likes to tease me,” he said, as he began fucking me.

  He grabbed my shoulders and squeezed almost to the point of pain and moved into me again and again. Harder each time. I wanted to cry for him to stop, but instead, I began begging for more.

  “If it hurts, cry for me.” His dark voice made the whole scene more erotic, and I cried out from the oncoming orgasm his force was producing.

  “I’m going to come.” I panted, knowing the only tears he would see were ones that came from pure ecstasy.

  “Then do it. Now!”

  And I did.

  My body shook, and his hands wrapped around my neck as he squeezed until my head was light and my pleasure had gone to new heights. I wasn’t sure I’d live through this. It was more than humans could bear. I was positive of it. The bad news was that this was a dream, and I’d wake up having not experienced it at all.

  Tears came then, just before his body pulled me to him. He whispered words that were sweet, but I was too tired to understand them.

  Vegas was always the same. Every time I came.

  Yes, I was in Vegas. Don’t judge me.

  I hadn’t told Rush the truth, either. When I left town, I always told him where I was going. This time, I didn’t want to explain that I was going to find a guy who was haunting my dreams and I’d left him in Vegas with his pregnant showgirl girlfriend but whatever. Yeah . . . I wasn’t telling Rush that.

  I didn’t need to be told that this was a bad idea. I knew it was a bad idea, but I was looking for closure. This morning, I had woken up to a bruise on my left shoulder and a very tender vagina. That couldn’t happen from a dream, so I was losing my mind. That was the only other explanation. This man was making me lose it.

  I had to find him. Get over him and move the hell on. End these insane dreams where I was apparently beating the shit out of myself while sleeping.

  So my big brother thought I was headed to Barcelona with friends for a couple of weeks. That was believable. I loved Spain. He hadn’t even questioned it. Just told me to keep in touch so he’d know I was safe.

  My goal was to find Gannon, get my closure, and get the hell out of Vegas. The longer I stayed here, the harder this would be. Everything reminded me of him. It wasn’t bad memories, either. They were good memories. Things I wanted more of.

  Things I couldn’t have. Well, maybe I could, but the fact that he had a woman pregnant kind of put a damper on things. But then, he didn’t love her, obviously, and people make mistakes.

  Shaking my head to stop my thoughts from going in that direction, I finished unpacking my clothes and went to the minibar to get a bottle of water. Flying always dehydrated me. I would drink sixteen ounces while relaxing on the L-shaped sofa and plotting my next move. Because now that I was here, I wasn’t sure how to find him.

  Staying at the Bellagio was my only plan so far. It wasn’t like Gannon lived at the Bellagio. He could very likely be back in whatever state he lived in, and I might not find him at all. My first idea was to go to every show with showgirls at the Bellagio and at Caesars until I found the girl. That sounded insane, but how else would I find her? And she was my only way to find him. I knew she lived here and worked here. Which gave me hope that Gannon must be here a lot, to have knocked up a showgirl. His construction company did build casinos, after all. That made sense for him being here full-time or for long stints.

  This was crazy. I was crazy. But then, that’s why I had come to Vegas.

  I considered going to the Hyde. That was where I’d met him, after all. But he’d said he didn’t much like clubs, and he’d just gone in there that night. He wouldn’t be there again. Finding the woman was the best idea. What I would ask her once I found her, I hadn’t worked through just yet.

  The black minidress I was wearing brought attention to my legs, and I always liked the way my pale skin and red hair looked against the midnight color. I was confident and ready to do this. There was a show at seven tonight here at the Bellagio that I was going to see. I had a front-row seat so I could see the faces clearly, and I was as nervous as I was ready. I had come this far; I had to finish this.

  My planning and strategizing were all for nothing, however. When I stepped out of the elevator, there he stood looking at me. Almost as if he had expected to find me. The shock that I knew was clearly on my face wasn’t on his. It was as if he’d been waiting for me.

  “Nan,” he said, with a small smile turning up the corners of his lips. He was pleased, but there was a sense of danger in that look that I knew from my dreams.

  My heart picked up its pace. “Gannon,” I replied, almost unsure if I was imagining this and my crazy had just found a new level.

  “I’m glad you came back.” His pleased smile was almost smug now. Damn him.

  “It wasn’t for you,” I snapped, in the haughtiest tone I could manage at the moment.

  This made him chuckle. A deep, rich sound that sent vibrations throughout my body. “I’m still glad you’re back.”

  Oh. Well. Oh. I didn’t know what to say to that. I was ready for a fight of words. The problem with him being right here, so easy to find, was that I hadn’t prepared what I would say to him. I hadn’t expected to find him like this. “You have a pregnant girlfriend” was what my mouth decided to blurt out next. Couldn’t trust my mouth. It always said exactly what it was thinking. It had no filter, and it hadn’t served me well in my life. I had made many enemies by saying exactly what I was thinking at the moment. It wasn’t fair, really, that people found it hard to forgive me for saying things without thinking. At least they never had to wonder what I thought. The rest of the world just lied a lot. They didn’t share their feelings and sucked up things that eventually made them bitter.

  He looked almost remorseful. “I don’t. She was a one-night stand. Never a girlfriend. We got to know each other through mutual acquaintances and then one night, over too many drinks, slept together. She wasn’t on birth control, and the condom broke. Last week, she miscarried the baby.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that.

  “Can I take you to dinner? Or did you already have other plans?” he asked, not waiting for me to respond.

  I was letting the fact that he didn’t have a girlfriend or a baby on the way sink in. I nodded. “I’d like that.”

  He smiled again. “So you were all dressed up for nothing?”

  I glanced down at myself, remembering that I was, in fact, going to a show in hopes of finding his baby momma. I wasn’t admitting that, though. “Uh, yes, I guess I was.”

  He held out his arm, and I slid my hand into the crook of his elbow. “Good. I’d hate to make you cancel your plans. But I would.”

  The finality and power in his tone should have pissed me off. He was so bossy and sure of himself. But instead, it excited me. I was insane.

  The back corner booth was shaped like a U and tucked away from the rest of the busy restaurant. When we had walked in, the hostess hadn’t even asked Gannon how many or where he’d like to be seated. She had looked up at him as if she knew him and smiled, then grabbed two menus and led us back to the table. He must live in Las Vegas part of the time. Those were questions I had never as
ked him before. Things I wanted to know.

  “You come here often?” I asked, when the hostess had walked away, assuring us that our server, Greg, would be right with us.

  He shrugged. “Occasionally.” He wasn’t much of a sharer. I wanted to know more about the man who came to me in my dreams and messed up my head for all other men.

  “Do you live in Las Vegas? Or near here?” I asked, needing more.

  “No” was all he said.

  I felt like growling in frustration. Normal people would follow that up with where they did live. This was like pulling teeth. “So where do you live?” I asked, this time more pointedly, since that was what this was going to require.

  “Different places. Depending on my job at the time.”

  Was he kidding me? Was this a test to get me to pitch a damn fit? Sighing in defeat, I leaned back and crossed my arms over my chest. “Fine. You don’t want to tell me about yourself. I’ll just sit here quietly and leave you alone.”

  His large, strong hand was on my thigh instantly, holding it in a firm, almost painful grip.

  I held my breath, unsure what button I had pushed but waiting to see if it was a sexual one or a truly angry one, where he would beat the hell out of me and then toss me into a ditch on the side of the road. With this man, I couldn’t be sure. Hell, I didn’t even know where he lived.

  “Don’t sass me with that gorgeous fucking mouth.” His voice was laced with a warning and temptation all at once.

  I should have come back at him with more sass than he could handle, but I wasn’t sure if it was safe to do that. And in an odd way, I wanted to please him. So I nodded and replied. “Yes, sir.”

  Before I could be disgusted with myself over my submissive response, he began caressing the thigh he’d probably bruised. “That’s better,” he whispered, then leaned in to claim my mouth in a kiss. Right there in front of the whole damn place. Well, we were kind of hidden, but Greg the server could walk up at any time to witness our make-out session.