Louise

by Diana Nixon

  “I…”

  “She’s with me,” I heard Will say behind me. I couldn’t believe my ears. I was just about to turn around, when his hands landed on my shoulders, making me stay still.

  “Good evening, Mr. Blair,” Mike said, nodding to Will.

  “Christopher will follow you out,” Will said to me.

  “But…”

  “Go to the damn car, Louise,” he hissed into my ear, as if he was about to spank me for not following his order.

  I swallowed, trembling from head to toe. “What about the girls?” I asked, watching Mike leave. I was surprised he didn’t ask any more questions.

  “My people will take care of them,” Will said.

  The next second, I saw Christopher walking over to us. He took me by the hand, as if I were five, and pulled me to the exit.

  “What the hell is going on? And how did you know I was here?” I asked, stopping at the car. I couldn’t help but admit that it felt amazing to be out again.

  “Get in the car, Miss,” Christopher said, ignoring my question. He looked like he was pissed, and I couldn’t understand why.

  “Where’s Will?”

  “He’ll be waiting for you back at his house.”

  “What? We are not going back to Le Papillon?”

  “Not now, Miss.”

  I made a helpless gesture. “Great. Take me wherever you want.”

  Only now, did I realize that Will was not supposed to be back until the next day. So how did he know I was here? And then there was Mike and his weird reaction to Will’s words. He didn’t even try to stop me or to argue with Will. Mr. Blair, he called him. So he knew Will’s last name, and he was obviously not surprised to see me in his company. So what the hell was it all supposed to mean?

  To my disappointment, Christopher didn’t lower the black window separating him from the passenger compartment of the limo. Wasn’t he allowed to talk to me tonight? Or was not I allowed to talk to him?

  When the car stopped at the porch of the house, he got out and went to open the door for me.

  “Is he angry at me?” I asked, trying to predict what was about to happen inside the house.

  “Rather at himself,” Christopher said, forcing a smile. I didn’t know what he meant by that, and I didn’t have time to ask any more questions, because the next moment, he closed the car door behind me, and went back to the driver’s seat, leaving me alone.

  I took a deep breath and mentally wished myself luck. Whatever was waiting for me inside didn’t promise anything good.

  “Will?” I called, entering the house.

  “In the office,” he replied; the sound of his voice echoed in the emptiness of the enormous hall.

  Slowly, I went to the open door from where I heard the voice coming, and there he was, standing with his back to me, facing the huge doors opening to the terrace. The wind was playing with the curtains, making his silhouette look a little mystical and maybe even a little scary. He was not wearing a suit tonight, but a pair of jeans with a white shirt; its sleeves were rolled up to his elbows.

  “I thought I would lose my mind when I found out you went to The Dragon’s Kiss,” he said, almost whispering.

  “A friend of mine was in trouble, I couldn’t leave her alone.”

  “Do you even know what kind of a place it is?”

  “I have my guesses.”

  “Well, they are wrong!” He said a little louder than usual. He ran both hands through his hair and shook his head, as if trying to calm himself.

  I took a few steps closer, not sure what to say next. I knew Will was not wearing a mask now, and neither was I. And I was too tired of playing his secrecy games again, so I said, “Don’t you think it’s time to sit and talk?”

  He smirked and then laughed, turning slowly around. “Well, okay. Let’s sit and talk.”

  I don’t think I had ever been more surprised in my entire life. Will was looking right into my eyes, and I couldn’t stop starring, because I knew the man standing in front of me now.

  “You?” I asked, barely able to make myself speak. It was like traveling back eight years in time to the day I met the stranger at one of the train stations, only now he looked older and even more beautiful.

  My heart was beating so fast, and I couldn’t decide if it was real, or if it was just another dream that I didn’t know how to break through.

  “Hello, Louise,” Will said, coming closer.

  I flinched. “Don’t!”

  “You remember me, don’t you?”

  This time it was my turn to laugh. “Well, of course I do! How could I not remember you? I have been dreaming about you for years! And though my memory couldn’t do justice to your appearance, deep down in my heart I knew you were real.” A lump formed in my throat. “What the hell is going on? Why am I here? Why are you here?”

  “Why don’t you take a seat?” He tried to touch my hand, but it only made me step back again. “You are not afraid of me, are you?”

  “I don’t know what to think. I don’t know who you really are.”

  “I can assure you, there’s nothing to be afraid of. No one will hurt you in this house, ever.”

  “It should be comforting, but it’s not.”

  “I understand, it’s hard to believe that after so many years you would see me again. But there are things that I need to explain to you… Before you start asking more questions.”

  “Yes, please. That would be so kind of you, Mr. Blair.”

  He leaned back, against the edge of his desk and crossed his arms, making the pain in my chest grow. I didn’t know what upset me more — the fact that he had been hiding himself from me for so long, or the fact that I actually trusted a man who I knew nothing about.

  “Please, take a seat,” he repeated again. “This is going to be a long conversation.”

  I hesitated, realizing that there were only two chairs in the room, both right next to where he was standing.

  “Okay,” I finally said, taking one of them. “I’m all ears.”

  He had been watching me for an entire minute, no less, before he spoke again, “First of all, you need to know that no one will be looking for you tonight.”

  “Is that supposed to make me relax?”

  “Yes, because Drew knows you are with me.”

  “Okay, though I don’t know why you think it will stop him from coming for me.”

  “I’ll explain that later.”

  I crossed my arms, waiting for more. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him even for a moment. Maybe I was simply afraid I might miss something very important again, or maybe I simply couldn’t get enough of looking at him. God, he was so beautiful. How could I not recognize my stranger in him?

  “The story that I’m going to tell you started many years ago, even before you were born. Back then, I didn’t exist either. But my father did. And he was one of the children locked in Paradise in that time.”

  “What?”

  “The thing is that Paradise has always been a special place. And only special children were raised there.”

  “What do you mean by ‘special’?”

  “I mean children whose parents are too famous to have illegitimate offspring. Yes, almost all of you were sent to Paradise to avoid scandals that could ruin the families whose reputation could be destroyed by the news of your birth.”

  “Did you say almost all of us?”

  “There are children whose parents just didn’t want them, but they don’t have anything to do with children like you. My father was one of them. His parents weren’t famous, they were just homeless alcoholics who could not afford another mouth to feed. When my father turned eighteen, he was allowed to leave. He found a job in one of the factories. He was supposed to clean floors and toilets, but he always wanted more out of life than that of a janitor. Poverty only made his desire for a better life grow even more. I’m not going to tell you his entire life story, but when I was old enough to know about it, he told me everything about his lif
e in Paradise. Its children, whether they were special or not, had always been forced to wear those tracking devices on their legs. That is how I knew about your life the day I first saw you at the train station. I saw the red light flashing around your ankle, and I couldn’t just pass by. I stopped and started talking to you, already knowing almost everything about you. I made a promise to myself that I would take you out of Paradise. I don’t know why, but I suddenly wanted to do something good for you. There was something about you, about the look you gave me; it wouldn’t let me go. I knew there was only one place in New York where you could be living, and later that day, I went there and I found you. Well, not exactly. I only knew you were there, but I was not allowed to see you.”

  I swallowed back the tears that were beginning to fill my eyes. It was just too much to sit there and listen to what Will was trying to tell me. I rose to my feet and went to the terrace door to breathe some fresh air.

  “Would they have let you see me if I were not special?” I asked without turning around. I knew Will didn’t follow me, and right now it was a relief. I didn’t want him to come any closer to me.

  “Yes. But Marlena told me I had no right to see or talk to you, at least not until the day you were free to leave Paradise. Though she did let me do something for you. She said I could send you letters and small presents, if I wanted to. I came back home and told my father about you. He said we couldn’t do anything to help you. I was so pissed. For the first time in my life I felt completely helpless. I hated the world they forced you to live in, because the stories my father had told me about it were far from good.”

  “Did you try sending me anything?”

  “Yes, I did. And this is what surprises me most, because as far as I can tell, you didn’t receive any of my letters or presents.”

  I frowned, turning around unintentionally. “How was I supposed to receive them?”

  “Through your mailbox, I guess. The only information they would give me when I asked was your name and the number of your mailbox.”

  Why the hell didn’t I ever receive anything from Will? I tried to remember where my mailbox was and then I realized that I didn’t even know that.

  “I never used my mailbox,” I said.

  “Maybe you didn’t, but someone else did. Because whenever I called Marlena to make sure you received my letters and presents, she said you did, because your mailbox was empty.”

  “Oh, my God… You are right. I never used it, but someone else did.”

  Tess…

  “Do you know who it was?”

  “Yes, I do.” More tears pulled into my eyes, I turned back to the terrace, inhaling deeply. I remembered the day I met Will so clearly. I didn’t know how Tess knew about Will’s intentions to send me things, but she came to me and asked if she could use my mailbox to receive presents from her friends, and of course, I said yes, because I didn’t think I knew anyone who would want to send me letters or gifts.

  “What did you write in those letters?” I asked, remembering something else I had thought was just a trick of my imagination — the dreams where I found letters in Will’s house.

  “I was telling you about myself, my life, my work. I was telling you how much I wanted to see you again. The letters were not romantic or anything, considering the age difference we had. But I still wanted to keep in touch with you, especially after the promise I made to my father.”

  “Did he die around the time we first met?”

  “Yes. It happened about two weeks after that day.”

  “I’m sorry for your loss. I know it was awful for you.”

  “How do you know that?” Will asked, a little surprised.

  “You are not the only one here who has ways to get information. What did you promise him?”

  “I promised him I would take care of you. I could have never imagined it would turn into something much deeper than friendship...”

  “Have you ever tried to see me again? I mean before the day you came to watch me dance.”

  “I haven’t. I knew I was not allowed to see you, and I didn’t want you to get into any trouble because of me. But I always knew where you were or what you were doing outside Paradise.”

  “Did you ask someone to follow me or what?”

  “Yes, I asked Christopher to look after you when I was not here to do it myself.”

  Oh, I see… At least now I knew why the man always seemed like he knew everything there was to know about me.

  “I spent a lot of time abroad, in Paris in particular. And then, one day, I received an e-mail from Christopher with the pictures of you. You looked so grown up and surprisingly happy. You were smiling in those pictures, and I couldn’t stop staring at you. Christopher said you were just about to leave Paradise and that they were going to send you to work in one of New York’s dance clubs. But he didn’t know which club they were going to send you to. This is how I found out about The Dragon’s Kiss. I asked Christopher to make a list of all the clubs in the city. I came back from Paris and he and I searched all of them, one by one. Until we found you in Le Papillon. It was the night of your show and I couldn’t help myself, I had to stay and watch you dance. You were so caught up in your dance. I was fascinated, as if I were spellbound by your every move. I knew I shouldn’t have been feeling the way I did about you. You looked so young, so fragile, and so out of place there. I wanted nothing more than to scoop you up, take you out of there, and never look back. But once again, I was not allowed to. I went to talk to Drew and he said you were bound by the contract. So I didn’t have a choice but to pay for your private dance. I wanted to talk to you, I wanted to know more about you, even though it felt like I already knew everything there was to know about you. But I couldn’t make myself believe that you were just another dancer working for Drew, with no dreams of a better life, with no goal to fight for.”

  “Is that why you tried to get into my shorts that night?”

  He smirked. “It was one of the reasons.”

  I looked at Will again, and for the first time in hours, I wanted to get closer and ask him to hold me in his arms. I was so close to another breakdown, I didn’t know how much more I would be able to take without breaking into tears or running away. It was just too much for one night…

  “Can I ask you to leave me for a moment?”

  He nodded wordlessly and headed for the door. Only when he was gone, I let the damn tears roll down my cheeks. All the pain that I had ever felt, all the bad memories of my past, all the things I felt for Will — all mixed in one. I didn’t know what to think, I didn’t know where my pain started or ended. In fact, I was sure there was no end to it. There were still too many questions I wanted to ask, but right now, I felt like I didn’t want to know anything at all, I just wanted to be alone.

  So Will said my parents, or at least one of them, was famous. Was it my father or my mother? Did they know where I was now? Did they know anything about my life? Now that I knew the real reason for their abandonment, I hated them even more. How could they be so heartless? How could they give away their own child, their flesh and blood? Did they have more children — children who wouldn’t ruin their lives and careers? So many questions… But did I really want to know the answers? Hell, yes, I did… Now more than ever I wanted to know all about the people who made sure my life was a living hell. And I didn’t care if knowing more would break my heart. It wasn’t my fault they didn’t want me, but it was their fault that I spent most of my life suffering, and I had no intentions of forgiving them, not in this lifetime…

  Chapter 21

  I opened my eyes and saw the first rays of morning sun slipping into the room. Only when my vision got used to the brightness of the light around me, did I realize that something was wrong. I sat up in my bed, that turned out to be not my bed at all, but Will’s. I was in his bedroom now, and I didn’t even remember going there, let alone falling asleep.

  “Did you sleep well?”

  I turned toward the door and saw Will enteri
ng the room with a tray of food in his hands. He put it on a table near the window and came to sit on the edge of the bed.

  “Yeah, I think so.” I ran one hand through my hair, and looked at him carefully. He was still wearing the shirt and jeans that I saw him wearing last night. He looked like he hadn’t slept for days.

  “Did you bring me here?” I asked.

  “Yes. You fell asleep in my office, and I thought it was probably not the best place to spend the rest of the night.” Even with five o’clock shadow covering his cheeks, he still looked like the man from my dreams. All of a sudden, I caught myself thinking about kissing him. He was so close, and as always, so far away from me at the same time…

  “Where did you sleep?” I asked, looking at the pillow next to mine. It looked untouched.

  “In a chair, over there,” he said, pointing to a chair on the opposite side of the room.

  “You didn’t have to stay here all night.”

  “I have spent too much time without you, Louise. I can’t stand even one more second away from you, especially when you are staying in my house.”

  Oh, God, his eyes… Until now, I didn’t have a chance to study them up close. Today they looked even more mesmerizing, looking right through me and seeing the depths of my soul that I wished I knew how to hide, but nothing seemed capable of hiding from their intense, gray gaze. Some invisible force was still pulling me to Will, and I didn’t seem to mind it, especially considering the hellish night I had had last night. I doubted I had enough strength to resist anything at the moment.

  “Do you have coffee over there?” I asked, nodding to the tray of food.

  “Yes, want some?”

  “Yes, please.”

  He went to the table, took the tray, and put it on the bed, in front of me.

  “There’s only one cup here,” I said.

  “I… Actually, I didn’t think about bringing a second cup. I’ll ask Christopher to make some more coffee later.”

  “Here,” I said, giving him my cup. “I don’t mind sharing.”

  His features softened a little. Carefully, he put his hands over mine and took a sip. “Thanks.” His eyes met mine again, he asked, “Are you still angry with me?”