Seeing Black

by Sidney Halston

  “Wonderful.” Rocco had a smile on his face. “I can arrange for you to stay here. It is much more comfortable than that small apartment you live in.”

  “No. No. You’re moving too fast. How about lunch on Wednesday? I have an early class. We can meet afterwards. I’m not ready for those tests just yet, though. Just lunch for now.”

  “Okay. Splendid. I’ll have a car pick you up at your apartment at—”

  “Noon. I’ll be ready at noon.” She walked around the table and stood closer to her father. “May I ask you something?” Rocco nodded and Jill continued. “Why do you care why we’re psychic?”

  “Imagine the possibilities of recreating the gene. What a wonderful world it would be if wars were fought in rooms with psychics instead of with guns and soldiers. The possibilities are infinite. It is such a powerful thing.”

  Interesting. She’d never thought about it like that, never got beyond it being an annoyance. His reason, however, scared her. It wasn’t just for curiosity; he wanted to create the gene? “I have to go, Rocco. Thank you for breakfast. I’ll see you Wednesday.” There was an awkward moment, but Rocco reached towards Jill and hugged her before walking her out. “Oh, one more thing, is Josef a doctor?” Rocco nodded. “Tell him to stop getting into my head and threatening my friends. I’m coming here of my own free will. I don’t need threats. If he does it again, the deal’s off.” Rocco nodded.

  Chapter 4

  Death solves all problems—no man, no problem.

  -Joseph Stalin

  Jill returned home with a sense of relief. Her life was moving along so nicely all of a sudden. She had a man who adored her, friends who loved her, and her father was now in her life. Hell, she even had an uncle! Something that had felt so foreign and unwelcome, her clairvoyance, was now something she looked forward to embracing and learning more about. She still had a million questions, but they would all be answered in due time. She didn’t like lying, but those little tests that Rocco wanted to conduct on her had to remain a secret. Alexander—and Oliver and Heather for that matter—would flip out if he knew. They just didn’t understand how miserable her life had been for so many years, how isolated she had been. Controlling her clairvoyance was the first step in getting her freedom.

  Alexander, Oliver, and Heather were all spread on the couch, looking awful. The house was still a mess; although, it did seem as if someone had made a lame attempt at picking up.

  “You guys look terrible.” A cacophony of “ughs” and “blahs” made Jill laugh. “Why are you all so hung over? I was at the same party.”

  “Come here, baby.” With heavy lidded eyes, Alexander opened his arms from the couch, and Jill walked towards him. He grabbed her arm and pulled her down so that she sat cradled in his lap. “Don’t talk so much. My head hurts.”

  Jill playfully tapped his head. “You guys are a mess.” She kissed Alexander and pushed off him and began to pick up red cups.

  “I can help. Just give me a minute.” Alexander patted the seat. “Sit down and tell us about the visit with your father.”

  “I was wrong about him.” She didn’t sit; she spoke as she continued to pick up. “He’s not what we thought he was, or at the very least, he’s changed. His home is gorgeous, a mansion, and it’s only one of his many homes.” Jill stopped picking up and looked at the three train wrecks spread on the couch. “Are you guys even listening?” All three bobbed their heads, and she continued. “Anyway, I want to see him again. I want to know more about my mother, and he’s going to tell me. He was very much in love with her. He’s psychic also. Well, he was. He can’t do much anymore. It goes away. Did you know that? One day it will just go away or deteriorate like your hearing and vision,” she rambled. It was something she always did when she was nervous, and lying made her nervous. Well, a lie of omission. If they asked, “Hey, does your father and/or uncle want to use you as a guinea pig and perform medical tests on you?” she would say, “Yes, why, yes, he does.” But they hadn’t asked, so it wasn’t a lie, so she continued. “But he was able to learn how to channel it and control it. He’s going to teach me how to do that too.”

  “Why?” Oliver asked, startling her from her rant.

  “Why what?” She looked up.

  “Why is he going to teach you anything? He doesn’t even know you.”

  “He’s my father. Of course he knows me. I mean he doesn’t know me know me, but, you know, he knows me.” Even Jill knew she was making no sense. It was her nerves. She took a breath. “He just wants to get to know me better. He says he didn’t know I existed and that he has a lot of lost time to make up for. I like him, guys.” Jill bent over to grab a plate from the floor by Alexander, and he reached forward and her pulled her back down to his lap again. She dropped the garbage bag and plate she held and snuggled closer to him.

  “I don’t trust him.” Alexander said.

  “I know, Xander, but you have to trust me. I’m telling you he’s a good man and he’s my father. So I am going to get to know him.”

  “When are you seeing him again?”

  “Wednesday for lunch. Why don’t you come too?”

  “Okay, fine. I’ll make my own assumptions after meeting him.”

  “Fine.” She replied with a childish pout.

  Without giving her a chance to brace herself, he planted his lips on hers for a soft and slow exploration that left her speechless.

  A southern drawl reminded them that they had an audience. “I’m way too hung over, tired, and dreading the awful mess that awaits us to have to put up with all that sweetness coming from y’all.”

  Jill chuckled and snuggled closer to Alexander, who smirked. “You a little jealous, Heather? I know someone who would love to stick his tongue down your—”

  “Alexander!” Jill, Heather, and Oliver interrupted him in unison.

  “What? Oh, please, it’s so obvious.”

  Heather was crimson. She looked as if she were going to throw up, and it wasn’t from the hangover she was nursing; Oliver looked speechless.

  “Oh, sweetie, don’t listen to him. He’s an ass.” Jill said to Heather while smacking Alexander with a pillow.

  “I’m not an ass, just trying to pick up the pace a little. By the time these two hook up, I’ll be an old man.”

  “Alexander!” All three yelled again.

  “Stop ganging up on me. I’m just saying. Heather, y—”

  “Stop saying anything, Alexander.” Oliver hissed.

  “Whatever. You guys need to just make out and get it over with.”

  “That’s your solution to everything!” Jill replied.

  “Well, in our case, it worked,” Alexander said with a smile.

  “Yeah, but she had to make out with your brother first. That’s just weird!” Heather scrunched her face.

  “We didn’t make out,” Oliver replied. “It was just a kiss, and it meant nothing. It was awkward.” Oliver scrunched his nose towards Jill. Jill did the same.

  “Oh no. No, no, no. That drama was resolved. I don’t even want to talk about this. There was no spark between us, but just because it wasn’t there for you and me, doesn’t mean it won’t be there with someone else.” Jill glanced at Heather then back at Oliver.

  “Sorry, Heather. This is kind of embarrassing. They’re masters of subtlety,” said Oliver.

  “Yeah, I see that.” Heather pushed herself up. “I’m going to take a shower and pep myself up for the cleaning that awaits us and for the change of conversation.”

  “Wait,” Oliver jolted. All three of them looked his way. “Um . . .”

  “Spit it out, brother.”

  “Shut up, Xander! Um. You guys all want to go out next weekend? Just the four of us? Dinner, maybe?”

  “Yeah, sure. Sounds fun!” Jill replied quickly. This was Oliver’s way of asking Heather out. It was cute. So sweet.

  “How ’bout dinner and dancing? There’s a new club that opened up in downtown, and everyone’s been talking about it,” Heat
her answered.

  “Do we have to dress weird?” Alexander asked.

  “If by weird, you mean eighties, no. You can dress normal,” Heather laughed.

  “Okay, then I’m in too.” Alexander replied.

  After a half-assed cleaning job, a nap, some sandwiches, another nap, and a homemade vegetarian dinner prepared by Heather, the guys were ready to leave for the evening.

  “Come on. Come with me, babe.” Alexander asked for the umpteenth time.

  “I have to sleep. Like, really sleep. I’ll see you in class tomorrow.”

  “Fine.” He sulked, pulled Jill into him, and said goodbye in the form of a long inappropriate kiss.

  “Uh, guys,” Heather said.

  “Just wanted to remind her of what she’s missing.”

  “You’re so full of yourself.” Jill laughed. “Go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Alexander gave Heather a quick kiss on the cheek before he walked out. Oliver first gave Jill a hug and a kiss on the cheek then went to Heather and did the same, but it was awkward and sweet, and Jill smiled. When the door closed behind him, Jill went to say something to Heather, but Heather cut her off. “Don’t even say it. It’s just awkward.”

  “That’s ’cause he likes you.”

  “A week ago, that boy was sure he was madly in love with you. There’s no way he likes me. Alex made it awkward.”

  “No. Well, maybe he did. But it’s awkward because he likes you and doesn’t seem to know how to act around you.”

  “I don’t think so, sugar.” Heather began to walk to her bedroom. Jill followed.

  “Really? Then tell me why we just made plans to go to a club next week? Never once, in all the years I’ve known Oly, has he ever mentioned wanting to go dancing. Not once has he made plans a week in advance. I’m telling you he likes you, really likes you. You saw how angry he was on the island when that Brian guy used you. He wanted to kill him.”

  “That’s because that boy has a huge heart. We’re friends. He felt obligated, as friends, to protect me or whatever.”

  “Yeah, or whatever,” Jill smirked. “I’m telling you, he completely forgot I exist from the moment he met you.”

  “Then why all the drama and jealousy all those months?”

  “I think it was because he thought he loved me for so long. We were both confused. It’s you he wants.”

  “I don’t know. It’s weird. He’s weird around me. Uncomfortable. It almost seems as if he doesn’t like me.”

  Jill rolled her eyes. “Think about it. The signs are all there.” Jill squeezed Heather’s shoulder and walked to her room.

  ***

  Rocco didn’t seem to be caught off guard when Jillian entered the small Spanish bistro on the agreed upon Wednesday, hand in hand with Alexander. He stood and held out his hand. “You must be Mr. Jacobs?”

  “And you must be the infamous Rocco Taylor,” Alexander said as he shook Rocco’s outstretched hand.

  “Infamous implies something negative,” Rocco replied with a toothy smile.

  Left hand still tightly interlaced with Jill and without any sense of humor, Alexander responded, “Precisely.”

  Jill elbowed Alexander. “Behave,” she countered and then leaned over to greet Rocco.

  “My dear. You look lovely, as always.” He leaned in and gave her a hug and a peck on the cheek before gesturing towards the chair. Alexander pulled out her chair before he sat down himself. Rocco signaled the waitress, who rushed over.

  “What would you like to drink?” Rocco asked them; he was already sipping on what appeared to be Sangria. Jill asked the waitress for a diet soda, and Alexander requested a beer. There were a few moments of awkward silence as Alexander and Jill looked at the menu. Jill was so nervous that she paid no attention to the words on the menu. Noticing the obvious tension, Rocco reached over and placed his hand on hers and smiled. “You seem a little jittery, dear.”

  “Nope. I’m fine.” She knew her fake smile didn’t quite reach her eyes, but seeing Rocco’s reassuring grin set her at ease.

  Alexander looked at her questioningly but didn’t say anything. After the waitress came and took everyone’s order, Alexander broke the ice by speaking first. “I’ll just come right out and say it. I’m not comfortable with you and Jill meeting. What exactly do you want with her?”

  “Alexander!” Jill hissed.

  Rocco chuckled and took another sip of his red fruity drink. “You really care for her, don’t you?”

  “No. I don’t care for her. I’m in love with her, and I won’t allow her to put herself in danger. I don’t care if you're her father. She . . .” He looked at Jill as if what he was about to say would hurt but said it nonetheless. “Well, she tends to be too trusting.”

  “No, I don’t,” Jill whined.

  Alexander ignored her and continued. “She does, but that’s because she has a big heart and believes the best in people. But I’m not her. I’m not naïve, and I just don’t trust you. What exactly do you want with her?”

  Jill’s head was turned to her right, staring at Alexander, dumbfounded. Naïve? What the hell! She couldn’t believe Alexander had gone there guns blazing. He was not going to give Rocco a chance, and nothing Rocco could say or do would likely change Alexander’s opinion. Bringing him was a big mistake.

  Rocco put both hands on his lap and sat up straight and controlled. As usual, he spoke softly and calmly. “I don’t have much family. I only have a brother. My entire life has revolved around my work. After Jill’s mother died, nothing else seemed important. I think you can understand that?” Rocco looked at Alexander. “When the woman you love is gone, you can’t seem to do anything other than try to forget the pain, and in my instance, I focused all my attention on business. When I discovered Jill hadn’t died in the plane crash, I was so excited. The thought of finding her consumed me. All I desire is to get to know my daughter.” Rocco reached for his glass again and slowly took a sip. “And I think she wants to get to know me too.” Jill noted that Rocco had left out the other reason, the one who would send Alexander through the roof, the one involving blood and scans.

  “Yes. I do want to get to know him, but,” Jill scowled at Alexander who was about to say something but intelligently decided to keep quiet, “even though he has an abrasive way of verbalizing it, Alexander is right. As I told you at your home, I’m still apprehensive about trusting you.”

  Alexander interrupted. “You broke into her house and left her a mysterious note on her bedside table, for Christ’s sake.”

  “I wasn’t the one who left a note. It was one of my employees. I needed to know if she was psychic—”

  “You could have picked up the phone and asked.”

  “Well, I have my ways of doing things, but it wasn’t a threatening note. It was just a puzzle, a puzzle she solved perfectly. I apologize if it made you nervous.” Rocco said to both of them. “I know you don’t trust me, but if you give me the opportunity, you’ll see that I just want your affection. I can teach you so much, Jillian. You and I have a connection that no one,” he glanced over at Alexander, “else shares, and I’m not talking about you being my daughter.”

  Alexander took a swig of his beer and very matter-of-factly spat, “What? The psychic shit.” Both Jillian and Rocco’s head turned and locked on Alexander’s brash response.

  “Shit?” Both Jill and Rocco said incredulously.

  “Oh, relax. I didn’t mean it like that. I meant the psychic thing is what you are hanging your hat on? That’s the connection you’re using to get Jill to trust you. You know she doesn’t embrace it quite the way you do. Learning to control those unforeseen visions is something you know she wants, so you’re using that to gain her trust. The fact that you’re her father is beside the point. She has plenty of people who love her and consider her family. She doesn’t need a stranger to, what? Teach her how to drive, throw a ball, how to swim? Jesus, Jill, you’re not buying into this bullshit are you?”

  “Stop it,
Alexander.” She grabbed his forearm. “You’re wrong on so many levels. Sure, you’re in my life now, but that’s it. I have Oliver and Heather, and I just met Heather like what? A few months ago?” Alexander gave Jill a look that said, I have a lot more to say on the subject but we’ll discuss it more in private.

  After some awkward silence between the three, Rocco spoke. “Let’s just enjoy this lunch. I’m glad my daughter has someone who cares about her this much. All I ask is for some time with you, dear—a few lunches or dinners—that’s all. Just to get to know each other.” Jill looked up at Rocco between bites of food and gave just the tiniest nod. Alexander probably didn’t even notice. They finished their lunch with some light small talk and a lot of uncomfortable silence. Before they left, Rocco shook Alexander’s hand. “It was a pleasure to meet you. Even if you don’t care for me, I still want to thank you for taking care of my daughter so well.” Alexander’s face was impenetrable. He did not look happy at all. Rocco then turned to Jill and embraced her with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “I hope to see you later this week or weekend, my dear.”

  “I don’t want you seeing him anymore,” Alexander said outside the restaurant as he helped Jill with her helmet.

  “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me. No more.”

  “Have you lost your damn mind, Alexander? Whatever I decide to do, it is my decision to make, not yours. You can’t forbid me to see him.”

  “Like hell I can’t.”

  “You’re not listening to me. Do you know how difficult life is for me? Not knowing when I’m going to go blank and stare off into space for what could be thirty seconds or an hour. I shouldn’t even fucking drive. I’d be mortified if it happened in the middle of class or in a supermarket or anywhere strangers were around.” She sucked in a breath and continued, louder this time. “It. Can. Happen. Anywhere. Can you understand that? Forget the embarrassing part of it. It’s not safe. I lose most of my faculties. The thought of being able to eliminate the fear from my life is huge.” Huge! How could he not see that?

  “I get it. I do. But I don’t think being around him is worth whatever silly training he wants to give you. You asked me to meet him. I met him, and I don’t like him. The guy’s bad news.”