by Patti Doss
He took a black box out of his pocket and got down on one knee.
If he didn’t have my attention before, he definitely had it now, along with all the other patrons in our section of the restaurant.
He started his speech, seemed like he had rehearsed it over and over, “I know we are not where we were the first time I did this, but I know we can get back to that place. We could be happy together again, Tammie. I know we can. Baby, I love you with all of my heart and soul. I’m nothing without you, and the thought of losing you hurts more than any pain I ever felt. I love you Tammie…Will you marry me, again?”
I was speechless.
Part of me wanted to curse him out and tell him to go to hell. The other part of me wanted to cry, grab his face and kiss all of our pain away.
I didn’t do either. I was numb as thoughts of him and Rachel, sonograms of unborn babies and flashbacks of all the many days and nights I cried about his betrayal ran across my mind.
“Tammie…”
Mike’s nervous voice snapped me back into reality. His eyes were the first thing that I saw, under me, as he still knelt on one knee. He looked so eager, like he wanted nothing more but for me to say yes.
People were starting to stare. I didn’t want to embarrass him, so I just leaned down, kissed him on the jaw and whispered in his ear that we would talk about that later. Mike got up and several of the patrons in the restaurants starting clapping and screaming congratulations.
After all the excitement had died down, I told Mike, “You shouldn’t have done that. I don’t have an answer for you. We are in no position to even entertain the idea of getting married again. Michael, I will always love you. I have loved you since I was thirteen years old. I have always pictured us spending our lives together. Now… well, I just don’t know anymore. We have a lot of things to discuss, and you have a lot going on right now. I’m sorry if I messed up your plans, but you shouldn’t have put me on the spot like that.”
Mike didn’t say anything. He just got up and paid the bill. As we were leaving, his cell phone rung. From the look on his face, I knew who it was. I didn’t say a word. I just walked past him and walked on to the car, leaving him behind to answer his baby momma’s call. I stood at the car until he got off the phone.
As he approached the car, he looked like he had swallowed his own shit. “Rachel is in labor. Do you want me to take you home or are you coming to the hospital with me?”
I wanted to die right there. I was dying a slow death with every second that he waited for an answer. As much as I wanted to scream and curse and hit him, I knew I couldn’t. I knew this day was coming. Now it was here, and I had to deal with it.
“I don’t even want you to go….” I sighed heavily. I felt so defeated. “…but I know how important it is for you to be there. You were there for MJ, Makayla and Mackenzie’s birth, and it would be unfair for you to miss Mikye and Mikele’s. I’ll go with you. If I feel that I can’t handle the situation, I’ll leave.”
When Mike hugged me, I didn’t return his embrace. “I love you so much,” he said as he held me. “I am going to find a way to fix my mess.”
On the way to the hospital, I texted Persia and told her what was happening. I told her we would be at the hospital if she needed to reach us. She asked if I was alright and I said ok, but even through text I knew that she knew that I was lying. I even texted Jamal and told him that the babies were coming, though we reached the hospital before he replied. Rachel was in full labor and about to deliver the babies. I stayed in the waiting room while Mike stayed in with Rachel.
After so long, I grew anxious just sitting there. I got up and walked by the nurse’s station that led to the labor and delivery rooms.
I heard a baby cry out.
Then I heard it again.
My heart skipped a beat. I walked back to the waiting area and sat down as tears filled my eyes. I knew that those babies were coming. Yet, hearing their cries made this all so real. My best friend had really had babies by my husband – my husband. My reality was smacking me in the face. I couldn’t believe where I was, where I was sitting and what was happening.
After a while, Mike came out. His eyes were red as if he had been crying. He looked at me and saw the tears in my eyes, tears that I refused to let fall.
Mike grabbed my hand and pulled me up. He hugged and kissed me. As he did that, the tears that I held back came flooding down my face.
Mike wiped my eyes and face and told me, “I know this is hard for you, but thank you so much for being here with me. It means a lot.”
I wiped my eyes and said, “You’re welcome.”
Mike wanted me to see the boys, so we walked to the nursery.
It wasn’t hard to spot his babies because they looked just like my son MJ when he was born. As much as I didn’t want to accept those babies, there they were, and there was nothing I could do about that. Seeing Mikye and Mikele, I knew two things: that I could never hate them and that I could not stay in this marriage.
The flood from my eyes wouldn’t stop.
Mike put his arm around me to comfort me.
“Michael, I thought I could do this but I can’t. I love you. I will always love you, but I can’t handle this. I don’t want to handle this. I want a divorce.”
I didn’t even wait on his response. I just left. He kept calling my name as I jogged towards the elevators. I had to get the hell out of there. I looked back at him as I reached the elevator. He wanted to come after me. I saw it in his eyes. Yet, it was apparent that he should just leave me alone.
As I stood at the elevators, tears streaming down my face, I saw a picture of Eleanor Roosevelt with a quote that read, “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror, I can take the next thing that comes along.’”
The elevator finally came. Once I got inside, the tears wouldn’t stop falling. I called the only person I could think of ... Jamal.
He didn’t answer.
The phone rung and rung and then it went to voicemail, I wanted to leave a message, but the words wouldn’t come out, so I just hung up.
I exited the hospital.
I didn’t know where I was going, but I had to get out of there. So, I just stood there and looked up at the sky, praying to God to take away the pain. It seemed like every star that God ever made was in the sky that night. As I finished a silent prayer, I saw a falling star. Maybe that was God’s answer to my prayer. My momma always said that signs are all around us. You just have to pay attention. Maybe this was my sign for a new beginning. I wiped my face and reached in my purse for the extra set of keys to my husband’s car. As I started walking towards my husband’s car, I noticed a man leaning against it. I wondered who in the hell it was until the man’s eye’s met mine.
I couldn’t move. I never believed in fairy tales or those romantic movie endings that seemed to always be in slow motion, but I swear seeing Jamal at that car was one of those moments. I wanted to run to him, but my legs wouldn’t move.
The next thing I knew he was headed towards me. When he reached me and saw my tears, he grabbed my face in his hands and kissed me with so much passion and depth that by the time he let go, I saw the tears in his eyes and felt the ones running down my face.
We never spoke a word. We just walked hand in hand towards his car. I looked up at the sky, and the North Star just seemed to be winking at me.
I exhaled.
For the first time in seven months, despite everything that was going on in my life, I was truly happy. I was ready for a new beginning, even a new beginning with Jamal.
THE END
Contact Patti Doss:
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Check out other romance novels from Jessica Watkins Presents:
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Good Girls Ain’t No Fun finale by Jessica Watkins
Beautiful Prey by Phoenix Daniels
Beautiful Prey 2 by Phoenix Daniels
If Your Girl Only Knew by Kenya Moss
The Game of Love by K. Alex Walker
The Right Kind of Wrong by Chauntria Taylor
Dreams Do Come True by Jada Pearl
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