A Hunger So Wild: A Renegade Angels Novel

by Sylvia Day

  “What else is troubling you, Lindsay?” he asked softly. “Will you tell me?”

  There was a long hesitation before she said, “I lost my father recently. The day before I met you. It’s hard, you know…feeling this way about someone else. Even though I know they’re Shadoe’s feelings—knowing doesn’t change how it affects me.”

  Syre nodded grimly. “Yes, it feels somewhat disloyal, doesn’t it? I’m warring with the same thing. I don’t want a replacement for my daughter; I want her. But I can’t help the sense of affinity I feel for you. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in all my years on earth, it’s that certain events change our lives for a reason and that certain paths cross because they’re meant to. We don’t have to be enemies, Lindsay. Or even allies. Perhaps you and I can just…be ourselves. Perhaps we can just accept that we have a bond and not fight it or try to analyze it. Perhaps we can even come to nurture it, if we decide we want to.”

  A knock came to the door a second before it opened and Vash stepped in. “Syre, I— Oh. Sorry.”

  Lindsay’s mouth twisted ruefully.

  “It’s all right, Vashti,” he said. “What do you need?”

  “I’d like a word. Elijah wants to see you, Lindsay.”

  “Okay.” Pushing to her feet, she moved to pass Syre and paused abreast of him.

  He glanced up at her and was startled when she bent down and pressed a quick kiss to his forehead. She left without another word.

  Syre was glad Vashti had enough to say on her own. It was many moments later before his throat loosened enough for him to speak again.

  CHAPTER 11

  It was on a rooftop under the light of the moon that the phone call was made.

  “Someone fucked up,” he said without preamble. “Adrian arrived almost two hours earlier than I was told to expect him.”

  There was a short pause. “Has he discovered that you’re still alive?”

  “No. I had the interior of the house taken care of. There’s nothing of me to be found in there.”

  “Then there’s nothing to worry about.”

  “The hell there isn’t!” Agitation forced his wings to unfurl and stretch, casting a massive shadow on the lawn below. “If he’s got any of his brain left, he’ll figure out someone’s been staying there.”

  “I’m not prepared to say that’s a problem.”

  “Because you want the shit to hit the fan. It’s what you’ve been working for all these centuries.” He heard the familiar creaking of Syre’s desk chair and his fists clenched. While the cat’s away, the rat will play…

  “It’s not time yet, and Syre and Adrian are both focusing more on the virus than I expected them to. I assumed they’d concentrate on each other and the lycans. Anything that distracts them is a good thing right now.”

  “Easy for you to say, you’re not out here hanging in the wind. I told you staying in Helena’s home was a bad idea.”

  “Any other option would have left a trail in money, paper, or blood.”

  The hardness of the voice on the other end of the line fired his temper further. He was a Sentinel. The vampire on the other end of the line would do well to remember that. “You didn’t seem concerned about those things when you talked about infecting entire neighborhoods with the pathogen.”

  “Did you have a reason for calling me? Or did you just want to bitch?”

  Gritting his teeth, he asked, “Any suggestions on where to hole up now?”

  “The cabal in Anaheim has been eradicated. No one expects Torque to deal with it while both Syre and Vashti are in the field. You can have the entire compound to yourself. That’ll put you close to Adrian, but you know how to stay out of sight. Your only concern now is to live the mortal life you’ve been coveting. Go get laid or kill something for the hell of it. I’ll be in touch when it’s time for you to rise from the ashes.”

  The line went dead. He crushed the burner phone to dust in his fist, his gaze trained on the lights blazing from Helena’s home across the street. Perhaps it was time to build his own army.

  As he lifted into the air and flew away, the thought twisted through his mind…and found fertile ground in which to take root.

  The sky was an ebony blanket of stars as Elijah drove Lindsay back to Adrian. As crappy as he’d felt just hours ago, he felt like a million dollars now. Life was good at the moment. The cool desert night air was whipping through the lowered windows and beside him sat one of his dearest friends, a woman to whom he owed his life…yet again. Her Sentinel-laced blood was amazingly powerful, its regenerative properties astonishing.

  “Hey, you okay?” he asked, noting her staring pensively out at the desert. “You’re not mad about the blindfold, are you? I went along with it only because it was safer for you. I trust you, you know. Always have.”

  He’d only made her wear the damn thing until they were out of sight of the warehouse. Then he’d tugged it off her himself and thrown it out the window.

  “I wanted to wear it. I thought the same thing—the less of a threat I am, the better.” She sighed. “I was thinking about my dad.”

  Remembering her heartbroken sobbing when she’d heard the news of her father’s death, his chest ached with sympathy…and guilt. He’d handpicked the team of lycans tasked with watching over Eddie Gibson and keeping him safe. “Wanna talk about it?”

  She twisted in her seat to look at him. “I want to talk to the lycans who were picked to guard him. I would’ve asked you back there, but I want to question them away from the vampires.”

  “I’ve got questions, too, but they haven’t checked in since then.”

  Lindsay stiffened. “They disappeared?”

  “I wouldn’t put it like that. My guess? They’re working their way to the West Coast on foot, trying to stay under the radar. What do you want to know?”

  “That they’re one hundred percent certain, without a shadow of a doubt, that his death was an accident.”

  “And you’ll believe them?”

  “If you do, I will.”

  Nodding, he asked, “Why do you doubt it?”

  “Cars were his life, El. He was pure poetry behind the wheel. Honestly, I’d be more likely to buy a random drive-by shooting than I am a single-car accident. I’ve been with him when creatures have wandered into the road. He avoided a buck, for chrissakes, on a two-lane highway with oncoming traffic and didn’t get a scratch on his car. It’s damned hard for me to believe he overcorrected for an unknown obstruction on an isolated rural lane.”

  Hearing the pain and grief in Lindsay’s voice, he set his mind to doing whatever it took to help her put the past behind her. She’d lost both parents before their time and he knew she was haunted by their deaths. “I’ll find Trent and Lucas and bring them to you.”

  “Thank you.” She leaned her head back into the headrest. “You and Vashti…Correct me if I’m wrong, but there’s something there, right?”

  A dry laugh escaped him. “Don’t ask me to explain.”

  “She went to a lot of trouble to save you. I take it she doesn’t know you intend to avenge Micah?”

  “She knows.” He stared straight ahead, his gaze looking beyond the swathe of the headlights into the darkness beyond.

  “But she saved your ass anyway?”

  “She needs my help.”

  “Oh, El.” Lindsay shook her head. “I’m sorry.”

  He glanced at her. “For what?”

  “For the position you’re in. I saw the way you look at her. For a guy who avoids trouble like the plague, you’re deep in it now. It’s not your style.”

  “Didn’t realize I had a style.”

  “Don’t be flippant about something that’s bothering you. You’ve got my undivided attention between here and Vegas—take advantage of it. If you keep everything bottled up, you’ll go nuts.”

  Elijah knew she was right. He couldn’t talk about Vash with anyone else. No lycan or vampire would want to listen to him hash out what he was feeling for Syre�
��s second. Shit, he didn’t want to listen to it himself—would prefer to ignore it altogether—but the path that had seemed so clear in the beginning was now dark and murky. He could use someone else’s input to help him find his way.

  “If I have a type,” he said finally, “she’s it. Physically. I was hot for her the first time I saw her. You were tossing knives at her and I was thinking about doing something else with her entirely.”

  Lindsay choked out a laugh. “Jesus, El.”

  “Yeah, well…when she came to ask for help researching this vampire disease—they’re calling it the Wraith Virus—I knew who she was and what she’d done to Micah. And she realized I was supposedly responsible for her friend Nikki’s death. We straightened that out right away, but her guilt over Micah was never in question. We laid out our terms—I help her with the wraiths and she keeps the Sentinels off our backs; I help her find the lycans responsible for the death of her mate and she sets up her demise in a way that keeps Syre off my back.”

  Pinching the bridge of her nose, Lindsay sighed. “What a fucking mess.”

  “There was no way in hell I could concentrate with the sexual tension between us, so I threw that into the mix, too. But when it went down…it was rough. And a lot more personal than we were counting on.”

  “Is she your mate?”

  “I told you before—it’s not like that with lycans. Yes, there’s an inherent level of instinct and physical chemistry that comes into play, but it doesn’t dictate how things go. I’ll choose my mate when the time comes, just like a mortal would.”

  “Mortals don’t choose who they fall in love with. I would never have chosen to fall in love with Adrian, knowing how dangerous it is for him to be with me.”

  “We’re not talking about love, Linds. This is physical.”

  She shot him a wry look. “You didn’t see Vash in action today, El. She went after Adrian. Adrian. I don’t believe she did it because of a pact with you or the need for a booty call. She was too desperate and worried. And if her big concern was info about her mate’s killers, she could’ve asked Adrian while she had me with a knife at my throat.”

  His grip tightened on the steering wheel. Vash had been suicidal in her efforts to save his hide. In too deep. Both of them.

  Pulling her left knee up onto the seat, Lindsay adjusted her position so that she angled toward him. “You’re awfully quiet after what I just said.”

  “Like you said, there’s something there. It’s…complicated.”

  “Are you friends?”

  “I wouldn’t have called us that.” Yet they’d put their necks on the line for each other. Supported each other…“But maybe. I guess.”

  “Can you let your anger about Micah go? If she cares about you, just knowing you’re hurting over what she did could be punishment enough.”

  “I’m gonna have to let it go or stop screwing her. But we’ve still got nowhere to take this.”

  “So you’ve thought about possibly continuing a relationship with her?”

  “Only just now. With you pushing me to think about it. I won’t again after I drop you off.” He didn’t have time to waste on impossibilities. “Ideally, I’ll hit up Adrian for the info she wants; he’ll have it; Vash and I will deal with it; and our association will end. Second best scenario is us wrapping this up quick even without Adrian’s help. If we could just put some distance between us—”

  “Didn’t help with me and Adrian,” she reminded. “Absence made the heart grow fonder.”

  “You’re not helping. You’re supposed to knock some sense into me. You hate her guts. Make me hate her guts, too.”

  “Next time. She saved your life today. I owe her for that.”

  “You saved my life, too. And not for the first time.” As the light pollution of Vegas appeared in the distance, he said, “I don’t want to lose touch with you, Linds. Promise me that won’t happen.”

  “I promise you that won’t happen.”

  He nodded, his mouth too dry to say anything in reply.

  “I won’t give up on you, El,” she said firmly. “Don’t you dare give up on me, or I’ll hunt you down and bite you with my fangs.”

  Elijah was still smiling when they reached the city limits.

  Vash crossed her arms and studied Syre’s face. His posture was different, his carriage lighter. His eyes were less shadowed than they’d been just that afternoon.

  “You look better,” she said.

  “I feel better.” From their position just outside of Syre’s warehouse office, they watched minions quietly make the necessary preparations for the sleeping lycans to head out at daybreak. They’d work in the field the same way—the lycans taking the day shift and the minions the night. “Are you certain it was a good idea to allow Elijah to escort Lindsay back?”

  She shifted on her feet, hating to hear her own concern voiced aloud. “I can’t allow or disallow Elijah anything. And if he’s going to have second thoughts about this alliance, better he has them now instead of later.”

  “Hmm…the Vash I know would kill a lycan she couldn’t trust rather than test him.”

  “Ha! If that was true, they’d all be dead. Besides, we don’t have that option. He’s the only Alpha around.”

  “You want him to choose you.”

  “Isn’t that why you sent me to him to begin with?”

  Syre turned so that he stood directly in front of her, forcing her to look at him. “I sent you to strengthen our position. Instead, you very nearly kicked off a war today.”

  She met his gaze, letting him see her disquiet. “The Sentinels aren’t in any position to attack us. There are too few of them.”

  “You believe they’d wage a battle instead of a war. You’re wrong. They won’t come at us in a swarm. They’ll pick away at us, hitting strategic targets and individuals, excising the most valuable players with surgical precision. What’s left of us will be chaotic and easily overwhelmed.”

  “You’re guessing,” she shot back. “Adrian isn’t at the top of his game now. He attacked me in full daylight on a public street! He’s reckless and emotional.”

  “Yet he risked his most valuable possession, putting his mission first yet again—something I’ve always relied on you doing…until today.”

  “Elijah is pivotal to our plans. You said it yourself.”

  “Your responses are making me wonder if the Alpha is more of a liability than an asset,” he said softly.

  Vash schooled her features to show no emotion, even though the elevated rhythm of her heartbeat gave her away. “It’s not the Alpha you’re worried about—it’s me. If you think I’m compromised, you should assign someone else to deal with him as I suggested in the beginning.”

  His arms crossed. “You misunderstand me, perhaps deliberately. I don’t want to separate you from anything that makes you happy, and frankly, the Alpha’s fascination for you works to my benefit. His hunger for you is a weakness. If we can control him with it, we’ll have an even stronger advantage. But I can’t allow anything or anyone to jeopardize the vampire nation, including you. Enjoy your lycan, Vashti, but don’t forget where your priorities lie. Like you said, the time to have second thoughts is now.”

  Pressing the heels of her palms against her eyes, she cursed under her breath. Everything was screwed up. She was screwed up. Her priorities had shifted at some point, from the past to her present. Now the thought of manipulating Elijah like a puppet made her sick.

  She dropped her arms and looked at him. “Pair him with Raze. It’ll be best for everyone.”

  “Thank you,” he said softly, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Perhaps a bit of distance will clear your perspective and you’ll be able to revisit. Do you want to tell him or should I?”

  That Syre made the offer told her how shaky the ground was that she walked on. For him to step up personally rather than delegate meant he gave the matter serious weight.

  “No, I’ll do it.”

  “He won’t take it we
ll.” It wasn’t a question.

  Remembering how Elijah had responded the last time she tried to gain a little space, she smiled ruefully. “I don’t know, but probably not.”

  “Use me if you need me.” He dug into his pocket and she heard the rattle of keys. “I’m heading to Shred with some of the others. You’re welcome to come.”

  “No, thanks. I’ll see to the final prep here. I want to get this entire crew out tomorrow, so we can get the next wave in and debriefed. Hopefully we’ll pick up some strays while we’re out in the field; we need more than one outpost’s worth of lycans.”

  “We’ll dig into that in the morning. See you then.”

  Remembering something she should never have forgotten, Vash called after him. “Commander. Adrian took my blood.”

  He turned slowly back to her. “Why?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “We need to know. Something with the Wraith Virus, perhaps?”

  “What else?”

  “Find out.” He left, his stride clipped with repressed violence.

  Vash got to work on the composition of the teams she’d be sending out into the field in the morning. She’d hoped to tap Elijah for assistance with that, but he was still gone and they were already a day behind schedule.

  Sitting at one of the computer workstations, she started creating groups based on physical characteristics, trying to create well-rounded teams of short and tall, big and small, heavy and slender.

  The moment El returned, she felt it. The air in the room became charged with his energy…and the stirring animosity of the vampires who smelled him approaching.

  He came back.

  A shiver of excitement coursed through her, along with a flood of relief that nearly made her dizzy. She watched him approach with eyes that devoured every breathtakingly sexy inch, eyeing his confident stride and the sleek fluidity of his movements. And she wasn’t the only one awed by the air of command that clung to him. His path across the open space between them was tracked by everyone, but his eyes were locked on her. Hot and fiercely determined. Filled with admiration, but nothing close to deference.