Close Encounters of the Nerd Kind

by Kim Harrington

  “Well, in any case, I have to find them all—including the psychopath—and figure out a way to send them back home.”

  We stopped at the bottom of Grandpa Tepper’s driveway. Marcus put his hand on my arm, and it made me feel all weird and lightheaded.

  “Don’t worry,” he said. “I’ll help you.”

  I was scared that if I opened my mouth at that moment, any possible combination of words could tumble out, like: I’VE HAD A CRUSH ON YOU FOREVER! Or YOUR HAZEL EYES ARE SO DREAMY I COULD STARE AT THEM ALL DAY. So I just pointed at the garage door and grunted. Super cute behavior.

  I typed in the code Charlie had given me, and the door whirred to life and began to rise.

  “They’re nice, right?” Marcus asked nervously.

  “The ones that are in there, yeah.” I pointed to the bag he held in his hand. “Don’t worry. They’ll love you.”

  Before we left the cafeteria, we’d scooped up whatever fruit was left and put it in a plastic bag. I had the idea to let Marcus hand it out, to earn the trust of Vera and the little Vegans.

  The door reached the top and Marcus gasped at the sight before him. Vera sat on a blanket reading a math textbook. The two little Vegans circled her, bouncing up and down and singing some song in their high-pitched dolphin language.

  “Whoops,” I said. I’d forgotten to open the game. I clicked on it now.

  “This is my friend Marcus,” I said. “And he brought you some fruit!”

  The little Vegans squealed and ran over, quickly grabbing as much as they could from the bag and then running back to their blankets.

  Vera rose and started toward us. “What happened to your shirt?” she asked, her nose hole opening and closing like she was sniffing the air.

  “We found two more Vegans in the school cafeteria. One of them threw up on me.”

  Vera let out a little snort. “I know which one that was. He always eats too much too fast.”

  Marcus held out a hand. “Nice to meet you, Vera.”

  Vera glanced at me, almost for approval, and I nodded. Then she reached out a hand … and slapped his. Hand shaking must not have been a thing in their world.

  “Nice to meet you, Marcus,” the robotic translation said.

  “You didn’t tell me the Vegans were super strong,” I said. “They yanked a locker door off!”

  Vera tilted her square head to the side. “I did not realize you could not also do that. Strength is relative to what you know.” She gazed down at the ground. “Bob is even stronger than we are.”

  “Well, that’s a frightening little factoid,” Marcus said.

  The Vegans had devoured a couple oranges and tossed the apples, which were apparently the less preferred fruit, to the corner near the shelving. Now they inched closer to Marcus and his bag of wonders.

  Marcus crouched down so he could be eye to eye with them. Or eye to neck. Whatever.

  “Nice to meet you. I’m Marcus.”

  “Marcus! Marcus!” they yelled, bouncing up and down. They seemed to have unlimited energy. Must have been all that natural sugar. They grabbed the bag from Marcus’s outstretched hand and emptied it out, sending fruit tumbling everywhere.

  The garage door opened again behind us. We watched as Willa and Charlie came in together.

  “Sorry I’m late,” Willa said, unfurling her long hair from its bun. “I had dance.”

  Charlie glanced at Marcus. “What are you doing here?”

  “He’s a part of this now,” I said. “I need more help.” I added silently, since you’re too busy with your team all the time.

  As the little Vegans busied themselves throwing fruit in the air, I filled Vera, Charlie, and Willa in on our adventure in the cafeteria.

  After I finished, I sank down to the floor, exhausted, and pulled my knees up to my chest. “We left a window unlocked so we can sneak back in tonight after dinner. The school will be empty. But even with the translator app, they won’t trust us.”

  Charlie sat down beside me. “And we can’t risk bringing Vera all through town to get her to the school.”

  Willa gracefully slid down into a split and then swung one leg over the other. “We need a new idea.”

  Marcus was in the far corner of the circle, near the pile of Grandpa Tepper’s winter stuff. As he moved to sit, he slipped on an apple and went flying backward. He landed on a shovel, which sprang up in the air and knocked over a bag of driveway salt. The salt spilled across the floor of the garage, right to where Vera was seated, all three of her legs crossed daintily.

  Vera’s neck eyes took on a glazed look, fluttered a moment, and closed. She slumped to the side, then fell to her blanket.

  I crawled over to her, panic leaching into my voice. “Vera? Vera!”

  “What happened?” Marcus asked, rubbing his head as he got up from the mess.

  “You killed Vera, that’s what happened,” Willa said.

  My eyes went to Vera’s chest, which rose up and down slightly. “She’s not dead. She’s breathing.”

  “But she’s clearly sick.” Willa pointed at Vera’s still body. “Something is happening.”

  “Slugs,” Charlie muttered.

  “What?” Marcus asked.

  Charlie brought his hands to his face. “Salt kills slugs.”

  “She’s not a slug!” I shrieked.

  “But that doesn’t mean she can’t be harmed by salt,” Charlie said. “We really don’t know much about her species.”

  “Only a little bit touched her,” Marcus said, his voice trembling.

  I held Vera’s head in my lap and rubbed her freaky translucent skin. “Come on, Vera. Come back to us.”

  Vera’s neck eyes fluttered and opened.

  “She’s awake!” Willa cried.

  Vera slowly sat up and looked around. “I’m sorry, I seem to have slipped into a stupor. It happens to our species when we are exposed to sodium chloride.”

  “Sodium chloride,” Charlie said. “Salt. So your species is allergic to it?”

  “No, allergic is not the correct translation. We love it. It’s a calming mineral. We use it to help us get to sleep. In fact, I opened the top of that bag and scooped some out for the little Vegans’ naptime earlier.”

  I let out an enormously relieved breath. “So you’re okay?”

  “Of course!” Her mouth widened as she yawned. “I could have used a little more, actually.”

  Marcus stood, wiping some dirt off his jeans. “Hey, you guys. I think I figured out how we can capture the other Vegans.”

  I met Charlie outside after dinner and we speed-walked to school. Willa and Marcus were going to meet us there. I’d told my parents we were going to the common to play Alien Invasion. It wasn’t too far from the truth.

  It was getting to that time of year when darkness came early. The sun had already begun to set behind the big middle school building. I wasn’t afraid to catch the Vegans in the dark. They might kick my shins, but nothing more. Bob, however, could be lurking anywhere, and he was capable of anything.

  Charlie pushed open the window I’d left unlocked and climbed in. Then he went to the front door and unlocked it for the rest of us. I slid inside, keeping an eye out for the others.

  “So why did you bring Marcus into this?” Charlie asked out of nowhere.

  I counted off on my fingers. “He’s super smart. He’s a great gamer. We can trust him. He helped us with the monster problem.”

  Charlie snorted. “Sure.”

  “Why are you giving me a hard time?”

  “Because I want you to admit the real reason. Your crush on him,” he said teasingly.

  “Shh!” I warned. “They could get here any second.”

  “Why don’t you want him to know? Maybe he likes you, too.”

  “Just stop, please,” I interrupted. “I feel awkward enough when he’s around. If he knew … ” I shuddered at the thought.

  Charlie rolled his eyes. “Fine. As always, your secret is safe with me.”
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br />   “Hey, guys!” Willa called, pushing the empty double stroller.

  Marcus came around the corner behind her. He’d been too far away to have heard, but that was still too close for me. I enjoyed hanging out with Marcus, and I needed his help. If he knew I liked him, he might get all weirded out and avoid me.

  “All set to go alien-hunting?” I asked.

  Marcus lifted the bag of salt he’d carried with him. “Armed and ready!”

  “We should split up into two teams,” Charlie suggested. “To cover the area of the school more quickly. Whoever finds them first, text the other team.”

  “That’s a great idea,” Marcus said. He aimed a thumb at me. “I’ll go with—”

  “I’ve got Bex!” Willa yelled. Then she grabbed my arm and pulled me down the hall.

  I glanced over my shoulder and watched Marcus and Charlie head the other way. I had no clue why Willa was so enthusiastic to be my partner; but whatever. I just wanted to get this done.

  “Let’s check the cafeteria first,” I suggested.

  We pulled out our phones. I opened the Alien Invasion game in case we stumbled upon the Vegans and I needed to quickly translate. Willa used the flashlight app on hers to light the way down the dark hall.

  A locker that wasn’t all the way closed snagged on my sweater. I had to stop and take a moment to free myself, cursing whoever left their locker open. I mean, yeah, no one left anything valuable in there overnight, but was it too much to ask to swing the dial and make sure it locked? I moved away from the wall toward the middle of the hallway to avoid any other open lockers.

  I noticed Willa staring at me. “What?”

  “Do you like Charlie?” she asked.

  “Of course,” I said, in a duh tone of voice. “He’s my best friend.”

  “No, I mean like him, like him.” She wagged her eyebrows.

  “Oh!” I said. “No. Not like that.”

  “And he doesn’t like you either?”

  I suppressed a groan. Why were people always so curious about this? “No. We don’t think of each other that way.”

  Willa wasn’t the first person to ask about it, and she wouldn’t be the last. People apparently found the idea of boy-and-girl best friends weird. But to Charlie and me, it was all we’d ever known. I couldn’t imagine my life without him. But I also couldn’t imagine kissing him. Gross. It’d be like kissing my brother if I had one.

  I threw my body against the cafeteria door, and it pushed inward. Willa shined her light across the empty tables.

  Raising my phone high into the air, I spoke loudly. “We’re here to bring you somewhere safe. Your teacher wants you to come with us.”

  Nothing but silence.

  “We have oranges!” Willa added.

  I gave her a look, and she shrugged. “It was worth a try.”

  I glanced into the fridge and up at the ceiling vent they’d escaped through earlier. They definitely weren’t in here now. I hoped they were still somewhere in the school, and we weren’t completely wasting our time.

  My phone buzzed with an incoming text.

  Charlie: Any luck?

  I typed back: The caf is clear. You?

  Charlie: Locker room empty. Going to start checking classrooms.

  Ugh. It was a school night. We couldn’t stay out too late; our parents would be expecting us home.

  I showed the texts to Willa. “I guess we should start checking classrooms, too.”

  She followed me back to the hall, and I quickly scanned the darkness for anything weirdly shaped. A scuttling sound came from farther down the corridor.

  I motioned with my head. “That way.”

  Willa walked close by my side, like she was scared. Which was strange because Willa was so confident, I thought she’d never be afraid of anything.

  “So what will it take?” she whispered.

  I squinted at the air in front of us as we crept forward. “Huh?”

  “For you to forgive me. What will it take?”

  I glanced at her and forward again. “Really? We’re doing this now?” The mystery of why Willa had wanted to partner with me was solved. She wanted to ask me uncomfortable questions when I couldn’t run away.

  “I helped you with the monsters. I’m helping you with the aliens now. I apologized this summer. But when Vera asked if I was your friend, you said no. Are we enemies?”

  “No,” I said honestly.

  “Then what are we?”

  I chewed on my lower lip. “A work in progress.”

  Willa threw her hands up and the light from her phone bounced all around, temporarily blinding me.

  “Keep it steady,” I hissed. “I need to see what’s in front of us.”

  “Why won’t you just say we’re friends again?”

  “Because I don’t trust you!” I blurted. “We were great friends. I was almost as close to you as I am to Charlie, but you dumped me to hang out with the popular crowd. And then you teased and bullied me any chance you could, to make sure I got the point that I wasn’t good enough for you anymore. So it’s kind of hard to believe that you’re my old friend again. Or that you won’t hurt me again. I need time. My emotions don’t go back and forth that fast. I’m a human, not a game of ping-pong.”

  My phone buzzed.

  Charlie: We found them! Mr. Durr’s classroom!

  “We have to go back the other way,” I said. “The boys found them.”

  We whirled around, ready to dash toward the classroom, but stopped short as a shadow loomed in the darkness ahead. Someone must have crept up behind us as we argued. Willa aimed her phone and the light revealed our stalker—Bob. He stood still as stone in the dim light, three legs spread wide, weird hair looking even messier than usual on top of his blue head.

  I let out a shriek.

  Willa jumped back, startled. Then she narrowed her eyes. “Is that alien wearing a toupee?”

  Bob growled, baring his teeth like an animal. I realized I had the game open, and he’d just heard Willa’s insult translated.

  “Um, we mean you no harm,” I said while stepping backward. Maybe he could be reasoned with. “We’re trying to help you get home, actually. Is that what you want? Do you want to go back home?”

  “No,” he seethed. It was strange. The translator was the same robotic voice, but it seemed more ominous coming from him.

  “What do you want?” Willa asked, gripping my arm so tightly, I thought her fingernails would cut me.

  Bob extended one long, crooked finger and aimed it at me. “I want that.”

  Me? Did he mean me?

  “Turn the app off,” Willa said.

  I slid my finger over the screen of my phone. “Why?”

  “So he can’t understand this.” She covered her mouth with her hand and whispered. “The gym is to our right. We run in there and then leave through the other doors, which lead to the B Wing.”

  That was a good plan. That would empty us out right near Mr. Durr’s classroom.

  Bob inched toward me, clicking his teeth.

  “Now!” I yelled.

  We darted into the gym and locked the door behind us. Bob’s body slammed into the wood. Vera had said he was super strong, so we didn’t hesitate. We kept running full force through the back door and into the B Wing. As I started to get tired, I pushed forward with every ounce of strength I had, which wasn’t much to begin with.

  Willa got to Mr. Durr’s classroom before I did, and after I crossed the threshold, she closed the door and locked it. I bent over, heaving for breath.

  Charlie and Marcus turned to stare at us.

  “What the—” Charlie said.

  “Bob’s chasing us,” Willa explained. I was still too out of breath to talk. “We asked him what he wanted, and he pointed at Bex.”

  “We’ve got to get this done quickly then,” Charlie said. “Get down from there, right now!”

  He pointed up at the fluorescent lights on the ceiling and the two little aliens who were hanging up
side down like they were playing on monkey bars in a playground.

  “What about the salt?” I asked.

  Marcus looked unsure. “I could throw it up into the air and maybe have some of it reach them. But what if it takes effect immediately, and they fall to the ground? They could get hurt.”

  I glanced at the little window in the classroom door. No sign of Bob yet, but he’d find us soon. We had no time to mess around.

  I reopened the game on my phone and used my best person-in-charge voice. “Listen, you two. Your teacher wants us to bring you to safety. The bad alien with all the hair is here.” I used my hands to mime a big pile of hair on the top of my head.

  The Vegans’ neck eyes widened, and they stopped playing.

  It was working! I kept going. “We have sodium chloride to help you take a nap. When you wake up, you will be with your teacher in a safe place.”

  Willa coughed into her hand, and I got the hint.

  “We have lots of oranges there,” I added.

  That was enough to push them over the edge. They came swinging down and landed on the black science tables. Marcus quickly doused them in salt, and they slid down into their sweet slumber.

  “I’ll carry one,” I said, scooping it into my arms. It weighed about the same as William Shakespaw.

  Charlie grabbed the other.

  “I’ll get the doors,” Willa offered.

  We’d left the stroller at the main entrance. We had to make it there, buckle the aliens in, and run across town to Grandpa Tepper’s garage. All without Bob catching us. It seemed impossible.

  “What should we do about Bob?” I asked.

  “Leave that to me,” Marcus said, looking angry. I’d never seen Marcus anything other than cool and chill.

  Willa opened the door and checked both directions. “Seems clear.”

  It wouldn’t be clear for long, I knew. Our heavy footsteps marched and squeaked down the hall. It was hard to be quiet on waxed floors when you were carrying unconscious aliens.

  “This way,” Marcus said, leading our pack.

  Willa jogged beside him, lighting the way with her flashlight app. We went to the end of the B Wing and turned left into the main hall. The alien was getting heavier in my arms and I had to shift its weight. But we could see the main door. We had a clear line to it. Was it really going to be this easy?