Seeing White

by Charlotte E Hart

  “No, I didn’t. But you have my word that you are my first,” he says, returning my stare, his eyes never blinking. “Can you say the same, Elizabeth?” Suddenly business Alex is in the room.

  “Yes, I can,” I respond immediately. Never once have I had sex without a condom, even in a relationship, which obviously increases my confusion as to why I am doing with him. I am only on the pill because of my bloody periods.

  He continues to stare at me, probably searching for a lie. Well he isn’t going to find it here.

  “Okay,” he eventually says as he smiles. “Then that’s settled.”

  He pulls me into a very passionate kiss and then picks me up and makes his way into the lounge, depositing me rather crudely on the sofa. He stands there gazing down at me with a smile that is both charming and infectious, his jeans hanging low on his finely toned abdomen and his hair all messed up and sexy looking, and yes, that inner slut is instantly ripping my shirt off, or his rather.

  “I don’t think I’ve smiled so much in a long time, Miss Scott. I think you might be quite good for me, challenging, but good nonetheless.”

  “Well I hope so, Mr. White. I’m sure you’ll be worth the effort.” I giggle. God I’m pathetic. I’m really going to have to gain some control over my ridiculous stupidity around him.

  He sits down next to me and we stare at the fire as he puts his hand on my thigh and lightly strokes his fingers back and forth. It suddenly feels so comfortable again, so right. Who am I kidding? He is perfect and I am absolutely falling for him. One night and a morning and I’m thinking about all sorts of absurd things. Even with his unusual preferences, which I know I haven’t seen the measure of yet, I will probably give him anything he wants because I am totally hooked and there isn’t a way out of it. As long as he wants me, I’ll be here. I just hope he won’t destroy me. After all, he is Alexander White, apparent God of the bloody universe and I am just... well, me. What on earth makes me think I’ve got a chance of keeping up with him is a mystery, but as I cuddle into him, I can’t stop the glimmer of hope that this is real and that maybe I’ve found that special someone to cherish for the rest of my life, that maybe I’ve found the one, or that he found me.

  “Elizabeth, why do you think you like being near strangled whilst you’re being fucked?”

  Okay, maybe I was a bit premature with that thinking.

  Chapter 13

  Elizabeth

  “I can’t believe you slept with him. You are such a hussy, young lady,” Belle taunts.

  She’s been on at me about it from the moment I stepped back into the apartment. She just couldn’t help herself and to be honest, I don’t blame her. I have always been the more reserved one of the three of us. I’ve never slept with anyone on a first date and I’m never as outrageously flirtatious as the others. I tried to explain that he weakened my defences, but she simply shrugged it off and continued with her assault of jibes and jokes. Teresa’s going to be even worse.

  “Mind you, I don’t blame you. I suppose he is quite a looker. Who’s this friend he’s bringing with him?”

  “I have no idea, only that he said he’s a good friend,” I reply.

  Obviously Belle has jumped at the chance of going to INK for the evening and we’ve spent the last two hours preparing and drinking wine while I wear the happiest face I’ve seen for ages. I keep noticing Belle smiling at me with a genuine look of love on her face. Much as I adore her, the sweetness of that smile is absolutely not her style and I much prefer the ever present mocking sneer that normally frames her lovely face.

  “He seems to have impressed you, little sister,” she teases. Impressed? Am I? I have no idea how I feel. The man gives me a whirlwind of emotions, but impressed is probably a good description.

  “He is... indescribable, Belle. I just can’t help but think he’s like a dream - one I’ll wake up from and suddenly find out that he’s actually a monster.” Her splutter of laughter causes my eyes to narrow considerably.

  “Oh, honey, didn’t you know? He is a monster. Well known for it apparently. However, while he’s being wonderful to you, grab it with both hands and enjoy him. He took the time to call me, so he obviously cares to some degree. Perhaps this is meant to be, and you know how I feel about that sort of shit.”

  “I’ll try, but he’s so disorientating. I feel like I’m ten feet behind him all the time.”

  “You almost certainly are, darling, but that’s only because you’re highly unlikely to hold your head up and face him.” She narrows her eyes at me as she taps the table.

  “Funny, that’s what he keeps telling me to do.”

  “Then I like him already, but you really must stand up to him, Beth. He won’t like it and definitely won’t understand it, but a man like that needs handling with extreme care and a firm hand every now and then. Now what time is he picking us up again?” she says, clapping her hands for effect.

  “Quarter to eight.”

  “Right, well we better get you looking fabulous then.”

  “Belle, it’s a Sunday evening and you know INK is far more casual on a Sunday. I am not going over the top in something too short.” I glare and give her my best not happening eyes. I’m not sure why I bother though. She always gets her way in the end.

  “No, darling, I was thinking skinny jeans, my blue heels and that fantastic strapless red and white number you’ve got. I’ve got that blue crop jacket you could borrow.” She smiles, quite sweetly for her really.

  “Oh, okay. I can do that. Hair up or down?”

  “I say up and soft. I’ll get my curlers. Go do your make up and I’ll get more wine.”

  ~

  An hour or so later and we’re finally ready to go, both of us waiting in the lobby. It’s a little early but we’ve had some bookings to discuss so we’ve passed the time well enough. A car pulls past the foyer of our building that I don’t recognise so I ignore it and continue chatting about the up and coming Jenkins party that’s on for Thursday evening.

  “Oh, how beautiful is that car?” Belle casually says as she looks at the matt grey sporty thing that has now returned in front of us. “He’s going to be stunning whoever he is. Only the gorgeous ones drive Aston Martins. Who’s in this building dating someone with a car like that?” I shrug. No idea.

  It’s then that I see the door open and a messy, very sexy head of black hair get out and stylishly walk around the front of the car towards us. My legs almost buckle. He’s on the phone, which gives me a minute to admire him. If it’s at all possible, he looks even better tonight. Oh god. I grab onto Belle’s arm for support. He’s wearing black jeans that fit snugly to those impressive thighs, a brown shirt and a short black wax jacket. Of course he’s finished it perfectly with roughed up boots that are screaming bad boy at me. Could he be any more devastating? My stomach flips over. How can he possibly manage that when in the morning he will be wearing a ridiculously expensive corporate suit and probably be flying off to Singapore or somewhere? Christ, he’s just beyond words.

  “Well of course, it would be him, wouldn’t it?” Belle sniggers beside me. I take a long breath and hold my head up, before he tells me off again.

  He strides towards me, eating up the ground between us with precision and balance, never removing his eyes from mine as a soft, sexy grin breaks across his face. He pockets his phone and turns to Belle.

  “Excuse us a minute, please.” He throws his keys at her and nods towards the car.

  “Well, lovely to see you too, Alexander. I’ll drive, shall I?” she says, running toward the car, giggling. It’s quite worrying and probably not a great idea.

  He sweeps me up to him and smiles. He’s holding on so tight, I think I might explode and it’s all I can do to return his smile and gaze at him as my heart leaps out of my chest.

  “You look ravishing. I am sure I’ve broken every speed limit getting here.” He presses his lips to mine softly and dips me backwards into an exaggerated bow. I hang on and kiss him back with a passi
on I can’t control, sexual torment assaulting my senses, and seriously consider dragging him up to the apartment and not going out at all. Oh, get a grip, Beth.

  “Alex.” I groan into his mouth, pushing him off me a little. “Much as I’m enjoying your affection, I’m not sure I trust my sister in your car much longer,” I say breathlessly. “She’ll probably leave us here and steal it.”

  “God, you feel so fucking good. I’ve missed you,” he says, sighing, his hand grinding into my backside, not looking at his car in the slightest.

  “Really? We’ve only been apart a few hours,” I say in surprise.

  “I know. Strange but true. I’m quite shocked myself.” He laughs. “Did you miss me?”

  Really, Mr, White, the tornado of so many hearts, asking me if I missed him?

  “Yes, Alex, I did. Very much.” I look to the floor timidly and he growls. My head shoots back up and I gaze at him again. This head thing is definitely an issue for him.

  “Perfect, just perfect,” he says, a soft smile gracing his face as he strokes mine. And here we stand, still having nothing to do with going anywhere and both of us thinking of anything but going out. He frowns suddenly.

  “Is she really going to drive my car?” he says, looking slightly troubled. “She does know how to drive, doesn’t she?” I look over his shoulder, turning him slightly and giggling.

  “Looks like it,” I say, pointing to a mad woman waving from the driver’s seat. He grabs my hand and starts us walking towards her.

  “Come the fuck on, you two. I have some drinking to do and a very fast car to drive,” Belle shouts, squealing with delight. Well this will be interesting.

  ~

  As we pull up outside INK, Alex chuckles through gritted teeth and unfurls his body from the car.

  “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself, Belle, because that is the very last time you will ever drive my car or preferably anyone else’s for that matter. You’re absolutely insane and I’m not sure how we got here alive.”

  “Please, I hardly went above fifty. Too many fucking cars around for my liking. Please don’t tell me you’re an old man who potters around all the time?” She lets out a whoop of laughter. I giggle as he raises that eyebrow at her as she gets out.

  “Elizabeth, I’ll send Andrews every time you need to go anywhere. There is no way I will allow you to be potentially killed by your maniac sister for a minute longer.” He grabs my hand, helping me out and gives me a stare that infers that he actually might mean what he’s just said.

  “Don’t worry, she’s not normally so dramatic in a car. If yours wasn’t quite so nice, I doubt she’d have put her foot down quite so much.” I snicker as I find the pavement and straighten my jacket.

  “You like it?” he asks. Who wouldn’t, for god’s sake?

  “Of course I do. It’s fantastic. Much better than I’m used to.” I grin. He gazes at me for a while; it’s an odd look, as if he’s remembering something.

  “Keys, Belle?” he says, glancing at her. She chuckles again and hands them over, swinging herself around to walk toward the entrance.

  His eyes return to mine and he yanks me forward for another kiss.

  “Christ, you make me horny. I’ve done nothing but think about you all afternoon and what I want to do to you. I might just have to fuck you while we’re here.” His fingers curl into my thigh firmly as his leg nudges between mine. “Does that make you wet for me? Are you ready for more of me yet?” he whispers in my ear. I can feel him smiling at me and waiting for my answer. God, yes. Just looking at him makes me wet. He doesn’t move, just stays by my ear, nibbling at my neck and holding me rigid. I can’t breathe and the thought of doing something like that in public makes me almost fall over. I clutch onto him with an iron grip and whimper at the completely erotic image of him keeping his hand over my mouth to quieten the screams. Bloody hell, what is he doing to me?

  I really need to find some form of grip.

  “Come on, let’s go in then, shall we? The night has just begun,” he says, letting me get my balance and taking my hand again. His face is calm and relaxed, as if what he’s just said has had no effect on him whatsoever. I, on the other hand, am a quivering pool of heat and tension. I have absolutely no clue how he manages that. It’s as if he has an impenetrable force field around him, some ability to morph from one character to another in seconds. Frustrating isn’t the word for it.

  We walk toward the entrance to find Belle has already disappeared into the depths of the darkness. I flex my fingers in his hand to try and bring some life back to them as he clutches onto me tightly. He looks down quizzically at our joined hands for a few seconds and then relaxes his grip slightly as we approach the security guy. Mr. Doorman stiffens a little as Alex throws his keys at him nonchalantly.

  “Take care of the car, Jaz,” he says with no emotion at all.

  “Sir,” Jaz replies as he nods and starts to talk into his earpiece.

  “I didn’t realise there was a parking service here,” I say as we walk through the door.

  “There isn’t. Jaz will have someone take it home and Andrews will pick us up later. I feel like having a drink or two,” he replies with a brilliant, boyish smile. It’s cute. I’ve never seen him look cute. I’m not even sure if the word’s the right description to be honest. Maybe adorable is better.

  “Oh, but how does he know where you live? And why would they do that for you? I mean, you must be a pretty loyal customer for them to go to so much trouble,” I question, flummoxed by such a grand gesture.

  “They do it because I pay their wages, Elizabeth,” he says, casually glancing at the reception area. Of course it would belong to him, wouldn’t it? Stupid Beth.

  His arm wraps around my waist as he guides me cautiously through the throngs of people milling around and toward the sliding doors.

  “Oh. You really are quite, what’s the word I’m looking for? Diverse, Mr. White.” Business tycoon and club owner. I don’t know why I’m surprised. I get the feeling this may happen quite a lot, because I dare say this man is full of little shocks.

  “Yes. I most definitely am.” He winks and we walk through to the bar.

  I am now feeling more than a little apprehensive. I’ve just learnt that not only is he the most glorious bachelor in the room, which frankly was making me nervous enough, but he also owns the building we’re in. That’s obviously the reason he was behind the bar with Conner that night. Most women in the room are now staring directly at him or trying to do the subtle approach from the side. Every single one of them is giving me the most disgusted look they can manage without potentially offending Alex, and I am feeling like a little frightened sheep in the midst of some very overbearing wolves. Shit. Where the hell is Belle when I need her?

  Alex squeezes my hand and looks down at me with something like concern in his eyes. I can’t look at him. If I do he’ll see the fear in my eyes and it’ll show him how pathetic I really am. He’ll see the dread and then realise I’m so not cut out for this world. For his world.

  “Elizabeth, look at me. I know you’re avoiding doing so,” he says sternly. I don’t. I just keep fidgeting. “Elizabeth, I’m not saying it again. If you want me to, I’ll take you to my office and spank you until you learn to look into my eyes when you’re told,” he says, more quietly this time. My eyes widen at the comment, but there’s so much authority in the threat I have little choice but to look up at him with nervous eyes. He frowns and reaches a hand to my cheek.

  “Why do you feel so uneasy with me?” he asks. Him? No. Good god, not him.

  “Alex, no, please. It’s not you. You’re wonderful. It’s just...” I can’t even finish my own sentence. I am so feeble that even I am disturbed by my idiotic behaviour.

  “It’s what?” he says softly, looking deep into me with those beautiful eyes.

  “It’s them,” I say, nodding my head in the direction of everybody else. He looks instantly shocked as if a particularly strange thing has occurred. It real
ly hasn’t. It’s just me being a moron as usual. Why didn’t I drink more alcohol before we left?

  “Has someone done something to offend you? I’ll have them removed. Show me who.” He swings around to follow my gaze. I swear I can see the hackles rising on the back of his neck.

  “No, Alex.” I sigh. “It’s no one in particular. It’s everyone. The wealth, the status of it all. I can’t help but feel…” I start to drop my head and before I know it, his hand is on the back of my neck, forcing me to look at him. “I know it’s ridiculous, but I…” His chest rumbles a throaty growl as he peers around at the other club goers, as if staking a claim on his territory, and moves his mouth towards mine.

  “Keep looking around while I do this and notice the reactions from them.”

  His kiss is tender, loving even, and I struggle to keep enough wits about me to see faces as I fall hopelessly into his arms, but when I do, there are looks of utter surprise or even astonishment. I close my eyes, melt into his mouth and let him take me far away from their watch.

  Eventually, he pulls back and smirks. It seems he’s found his show amusing. “I’ve never brought a woman through those doors with me before. You’re the only one. This place is my spirit, and I wouldn’t dishonour it or myself with anything that was fake or undeserving. You, Elizabeth, are the most fascinating and enchanting woman I have ever met and of all these people, you deserve to be here the most.” He frowns and looks down a bit. “Perhaps even more than me.” I look at him in complete shock as he puts his hands in his pockets and gazes at me. Lovely as his words are, they’re completely ludicrous.

  “You don’t even know me, Alex. You can’t make those judgements.”

  “Oh, I do know you, baby. You are everything a superior woman should be and more. You’re the reason why men like me hope and dream, knowing that we’ll never be good enough for a woman like you while wishing that we could be. I am the unworthy one here, not you.” He sighs and looks a little lost. “Look around you, Elizabeth. See the sharks for what they really are for once. I’m one of them most of the time.” He looks as frightened by something as I am and I feel a snap of connection between us that impacts my heart with such ferocity it almost knocks me off my feet. I turn to look at the other people and notice most of them still staring with open mouths, all looking beautiful as they fling out indirect threats. “Sycophants and wolves, hungry for the next meal of money.” I suddenly and quite unexpectedly realise that they are the ones in the wrong. He’s right, and I can see it in every one of them so clearly with him beside me. They’re all fraudulent in some way and I have no idea why I have been so uncomfortable in their presence before now. I turn back to Alex to find him gazing adoringly at my face with a small smile. Has he done this to me somehow? Already? I have no idea.