Trial By Fire (Rainbow Cove Book 1)

by Jet MacLeod

  “You going to answer it?” Reagan asked.

  “Not sure I want to. It is possibly bad news. I don’t want to deal with it at the moment,” Grace said.

  “Gracie, it might be Danica.”

  “I don’t care.”

  “You should answer it.”

  “I don’t want to.’

  “You should do it, anyway.”

  “I don’t want to leave you.”

  “Who said you were?”

  “If it is Danica, I’ll have to.”

  “Grace, answer the phone.”

  “Don’t make me, Reagan.”

  “Grace?”

  “I’m not ready for another case.”

  “You don’t know that is what it is,” Reagan said.

  “I’m not ready to go.”

  “Why?”

  “I need to tell you something, something important.”

  “So, answer the phone and then tell me whatever it is you have to.”

  “Reagan?”

  “Answer the phone,” Reagan commanded her.

  Grace pulled out her phone. She looked at the caller id before she answered it. She shook her head knowing she was about to leave.

  “Hello…yeah, Cap, I know…I will…You’re sure?...No…no…yes…I’ll see what she wants to do…I’ll ask her…Right…I know…I will…no, I will…Danica, I promise I will go see her…yes, sometime this week…I understand that…no, you don’t have to tell me twice. I got it the first time…you’re sure about the time off though…I understand that…I will but isn’t that a little misuse of time…Gotcha…I won’t argue…I understand…yes, it’s on, they both are…I promise I won’t turn them off…yes, Cap…Yes…no…no…I’ll report as soon as I’m called…Thank you…Yeah, goodbye, Cap, and thanks again.”

  “Well?” Reagan asked.

  “It was Danica,” Gracie said.

  “I got that. Do you have to leave? What’s going on?”

  “No, I don’t have to leave. She is giving me the next few days off with pay provided I go see the department shrink and spend some time with you. I am to remain on call until Friday.”

  “Spend time with me, why?”

  “She thinks that you might remember something that will help with the case. She also wants me to come with you to the composite drawing. She thinks that I will help you remember something, I guess. I don’t know how, but she does,” Gracie said.

  “Well, I guess that is good.”

  “Yeah, it is. It will give me time to think. I will probably go in tomorrow and get my notes on the case. I want to go over it with you, if you can, to see if anything jogs your memory. It will help me sort out things in my head, too, about the case.”

  “Okay, I’ll try,” Reagan said.

  “That is all I can ask of you,” Grace said.

  “Phantom of the Opera?” Reagan asked.

  “Yes, it is. I like the musical and the story. The movie wasn’t that bad, either.”

  “You’re stalling.”

  “Stalling? What do you mean? What am I stalling?” Grace asked.

  “You said you had to tell me something. Now, you’re changing the subject. Come on, out with it. Tell what you have to tell me.”

  Grace swallowed hard. She sat back down on the couch near Reagan. She looked at Reagan as earnestly as she could. Grace felt her heart start beating fast and she began to panic. She was trying to figure out how she could tell Reagan the truth about how she felt about her. The words wouldn’t come.

  “Gracie, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Don’t lie to me. You’re breathing fast and I know you. Spill it.”

  “I don’t know how to tell you.”

  “Tell me, what? Gracie, what is it? It’s okay.”

  “I am afraid,” Grace said.

  “Afraid of what?”

  “You!”

  “Me? Why? What did I do?” Reagan asked, taken aback.

  “Never mind, it’s not really important.”

  “Gracie!”

  “What?”

  “Just tell me. I can see that it is bothering you. It must be important to you, so just tell me,” Reagan said.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Why are you hiding? I am not going to judge you. How can I? I just want to help you get through this. I know it was hard on you finding out that I had been raped. It was hard on me as well. I think that we are close enough that we can discuss things rationally,” Reagan said.

  “I think you are right. I don’t know what to say. I have so much I want to say but I am not sure what to say,” Grace said.

  Reagan scooted closer to Gracie on the couch. She took Grace’s hand and held it. Grace stared at Reagan. She was unsure what Reagan wanted but she knew that she wanted to be with and get Reagan anything and everything that Reagan could ever want.

  “Talk to me, Gracie.”

  “About what?”

  “Anything. I don’t care.”

  “Anything?”

  “Anything.”

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Tell me what you feel. Explain why you took the SVU position. Tell me about you. Let me inside. Make me understand your thoughts and feelings behind your actions,” Reagan said.

  “I am not sure I can. I am not sure I know what to tell you. It isn’t because it is intensely personal. It is because I don’t know where to start with it,’ Gracie said.

  “Tell me why you came back to Columbia,” Reagan demanded.

  “I was tired of Atlanta. I wanted change. I’d broken up with my girlfriend. I’d buried my partner. I was lost, completely, and needed to come home to ground myself, to find myself, again.”

  “Is that why you ended up in my bar?” Reagan asked.

  “Sort of,” Gracie said, getting up and looking out the patio windows, “I decided that I wanted to lose myself in a bottle. I had heard of your place and decided to pay a visit to it. I didn’t mean to make such a scene, but I did. It was my wake up call. It was the reason I decided to move on with my life.”

  “How so?”

  “I cleaned up my act. I learned to deal with my parents and their unrealistic expectations for me. I decided not to live off my trust fund but a pay check, again. I went to work for the LSO. Danica offered me vice or narcotics. I told her I wanted a major change, so she gave me SVU. I think we were both surprised at my devotion to my job and the determination I used in the completion of my duties,” Grace said.

  “I see. So, you threw yourself into your job. Did it help?”

  “For a while. It made me fill whole again. It gave me a purpose to get up every morning. I was happy for a time locking up the evilness, but then I realized that I needed something more. I couldn’t just be happy with my job. I needed a life outside of work.”

  “So, what did you do about that?” Reagan asked

  “I looked up some old friends and started to hang out with them. I made more time for my parents. But, then something I wasn’t looking for fell into my lap, so I went with it.”

  “And, what was that?”

  “You,” Grace said.

  “Me?”

  “Yes, you.”

  “What do you mean by that?” Reagan asked.

  Grace turned to look upon Reagan. She swallowed hard, but smiled at Reagan. Reagan, sensing Grace’s uneasiness, stood up and went to Grace. She took Grace’s hands in her own and tried to ease Grace’s pain. Hazel eyes met blue and they both softened.

  “Gracie? What is it? Why are you so uneasy?”

  “I think that came out wrong.”

  “What?”

  “I wasn’t look for you but I found you, again.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I wasn’t ready for a relationship, especially with you. I was still angry with you for calling my parents that night. Now, I can see that you helped me live again. You were my wake up call.”

  “Oh,” Reagan said, in a defeated and almost disappointed way.<
br />
  “But, that’s not all,” Gracie said.

  “What else is there?”

  “When you came back in my life, you saved me. Then, I saved you from whatever that night. We were even and I no longer held a grudge against you. Everything made sense to me again. I wasn’t lost.”

  “Well, that’s good.”

  “Wait, will you let me finish?” Grace asked.

  “Please, continue,” Reagan said.

  “Thank you. What I was trying to say is that you came back to me. You weren’t that strange Gothic chick in high school; you were a woman who was searching for something as well. You’d made yourself better. You’d built your business by yourself. You are head strong and determined. You were everything I once was. I had to respect that. I let you into my life. I let you into my house. I began to care for you and I didn’t think I was ready for that. It scared me,” Gracie said.

  “So what happened?”

  “I realized that I was scared and I tried to hide it. When I found out about your case, it made me more frightened because it was then that I knew. I knew I loved you,” Gracie said.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Reagan stood there dumbfounded in front of Grace. Grace didn’t say anything else. Reagan blinked. She wasn’t sure what to do. She wasn’t sure what to say to Grace. So many thoughts ran through Reagan’s head.

  Reagan walked back to the couch and sat down. She was afraid that she would pass out. She was speechless.

  “Reagan?” Grace asked.

  “Yes?”

  “Are you okay? You aren’t saying anything. Is something wrong?”

  “I’m fine. I’m just…just…I don’t know,” Reagan said.

  “It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything. I understand,” Grace said.

  Reagan looked distressed. She began to think that Grace thought that she didn’t reciprocate Grace’s statement of love. Reagan realized that Grace had opened up to her and shared her feelings. Reagan knew that Grace believed that Reagan didn’t love her.

  “Oh, God, Grace, I don’t mean that I don’t—“

  “It’s okay, Reagan, really. Don’t worry about it. Everything will be okay. I’ll take care of the case and making sure that Catherine is protected. You don’t have to say anything. I understand,” Grace said.

  Reagan sat back, dejected. She had the woman of the dreams there in her house, telling her that she loved her, but Reagan felt lost. She felt like she was pushing Grace away even though all she wanted was to pull Grace closer.

  “Grace, wait, that isn’t it at all,” Reagan said.

  Grace didn’t say anything to reply. She was waiting on Reagan. She wanted Reagan to tell her whatever Reagan wanted to tell her.

  “I do appreciate everything that you have done and are doing for me, but it goes deeper than that. I want you to know that. I was just shocked when you told me that you loved me. I wasn’t really prepared for that. It threw me off. I was still so angry with you for leaving me at the station. I was trying to stay mad at you, but you made it hard for me,” Reagan said.

  “I’m sorry,” Grace said, sarcastically.

  “Don’t be. I don’t like being mad. It might have saved what little bit of a relationship we had.”

  “Small bit, eh?” Grace asked.

  “You know what I mean.”

  “Do I?”

  “Grace, that isn’t funny.”

  “Who says that I am trying to be funny?

  “Grace!”

  “I’m being serious, Reagan. We haven’t explored our relationship. I don’t know what we have become. I have fallen and hard for you but I don’t know how you feel about me. As of late, I’ve tried to do everything I can to show you this. You must understand how the way I found out about Catherine and your case upset me.”

  “I do. I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t know how.”

  “Anyway would have been fine. I just felt dirty sitting there in Danica’s office. We’d made love the night before. You have to understand my thoughts and feelings. I thought it was beautiful, but then when I found out about the evil that was done to you; it corrupted my thoughts of beautiful love into a gross ugliness. I felt like I had hurt you, caused you pain, rather than pleasure,” Grace said.

  “Wow.”

  “Wow?” Grace asked.

  “I was way off. I thought that you left because you thought I lied. I was wrong. You fled yourself. You couldn’t face yourself there with me and Danica, too. I am sorry. I didn’t realize how the truth could be so hurtful,” Reagan said.

  “I am sorry. I was just overwhelmed. I couldn’t handle it.”

  “I see it, now. I’m sorry. But, we need to move on. I don’t want to linger on this. I don’t want this day to ruin what we might have had together. I believe that I have waited long enough for some happiness. I deserve this happiness. I believe I have suffered long enough. I have punished myself, denied myself, and guarded myself long enough. I want to live, again. I want to love, again. I want to be loved and allow it to happen, again. I was happy. I felt loved and I was beginning to enjoy it.

  “I have to admit that I was opening up to you. It frightened me on some deeper level. I didn’t want to be hurt, again. But, my heart couldn’t stop itself when it came to you. It was drawn to you like a moth to a flame. I knew you wouldn’t purposefully hurt me. I could see and feel how much you wanted to protect me from everything bad. I couldn’t fight it and I was lost. I didn’t want to lose your strength. It was rebuilding my heart and my self-worth and esteem. I was afraid you would leave me and I would be alone, again,” Reagan said.

  “And now?”

  “I know you love me. I let you in so deep that I let you love me. I could feel it. I felt it. I received it in a most passionate way. I decided that after we made love I had to tell you. I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I had to tell you because if you left me, I wouldn’t be so far gone in love that I wouldn’t be able to survive. I had selfish reasons to tell you and to not tell you. I am actually sorry that I never got to tell you, properly,” Reagan said.

  “Don’t worry about me leaving. I am not going anywhere unless you tell me to go. This relationship is totally in your hands, my dear.”

  “Grace, I don’t want that.”

  “You don’t want me?”

  “No, I do want you.”

  “Then, what do you want?” Grace asked.

  “I want us both to have a say in our relationship. I don’t want it to be one-sided. I think we should be in this together.”

  “I understand and agree with you, Reagan.”

  “Good, I don’t want our relationship to end. I want it to continue and flourish. I don’t want to give you up.”

  “I am not going anywhere,” Gracie said.

  “I know that your job may make it hard for us, but then again, so could my past, Grace. We want this, then we can make it work. This is all we need to know,” Reagan said.

  “No, it’s not. We need to know about our love. Without it, we’ve got nothing.”

  “Grace, I love you,” Reagan finally said, knowing she meant it fully.

  “I love you, too, Reagan. I love you, too. Everything is going to be okay.”

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Danica sat in her office. She was reviewing the cases that her teams had been solving before sending everything to the Solicitor for review and possible conviction. She wasn’t happy with some, and knew that they would be able to put away some. It was unhappy balance but it was the justice system. She knew that she couldn’t change it without hurting civil rights.

  She looked out her office window and saw French pondering the huge squad room case board. She knew he was tired. They all were. They all wanted to destroy the bastard that was doing the rapes and murders on the lake. They had no new leads. They had Reagan’s daughter Catherine, but that was a stretch.

  French sat back down at his desk. He worried himself over the case file. He looked up and stared, just like Danica did
, when they both saw Grace come walking in with Reagan and Catherine. Danica looked at the calendar on the wall. It was Wednesday.

  She got up and came out of her office to greet them both.

  “Reagan, Grace, I wasn’t expecting to see either of you so soon.”

  “Me, either,” Grace said, “But, she insisted that we do this today.”

  Catherine hid behind Reagan. She was adorable. Danica was worried about her though. How would Reagan and Grace deal with Catherine’s questions about her father when she got older? Danica was also worried about how much Catherine looked like her mother, Reagan. She didn’t know how much that the computer could composite to make a sketch.

  “Danica, you okay?” Reagan asked.

  “Fine,” she lied.

  “Hey, Frenchy,” Grace called over to him.

  “Hello, you two, and good luck,” he replied.

  “So, I’ll take you down to the computer crime lab and we can begin,” Danica said.

  They walked down to the hall and into the computer crime lab for their precinct. Danica walked them to the back of the squad room. There was a low hum of computers running. Reagan looked like she would be right at home in this squad room to Grace. Grace knew her way around a computer but not like these tech detectives.

  “This is Captain Davis,” Danica said, introducing a short stocky man with glasses.

  “O’Shea, Wannamaker, welcome to Computer Crimes. Now, what are you two after in here?” he asked.

  Catherine came around Reagan to stare at Davis. He smiled down at the child, but his question went unanswered. Reagan kept a protective hand on her and Grace stepped up. Grace took Catherine’s other hand and Reagan started beaming at Grace.

  Reagan was happy that Grace was turning into a momma bear about Catherine. She was also happy that Catherine took to Grace so quickly. Reagan could only laugh at herself thinking that Grace would have been turned off by her daughter.

  “We need to do some photographic composites for a case we are working on,” Danica told him, “We need someone with photographic magic to help us with this. Do you know who we should use, Davis? I may need them for a while.”

  “I got just the person. She is great at this stuff. Photoshop is her experience. I’ll go get her. She’ll probably be happy to work for you, Danica,” Davis said, smirking.