by Lovett, Jo
Against all the odds, she really enjoyed their afternoon getting massages and pedicures together. She did stick glue-like to Sasha, and through a lot of gossip none of the others mentioned Dan more than about five times each. Evie ignored them every time and Millie continued to look as though her cheeks were going to burst.
Evie had a lot more messages on her phone when she checked it again as they left the spa. One of them was from Dan saying maybe they should have a quick chat about getting an annulment or a divorce. And happy birthday again. Evie was so physically relaxed after her last massage that she just kind of thought, Yep, when she read his message.
* * *
Evie was the last down to meet the others in the hotel foyer in the evening because she’d been on the phone to her mum for a long time – it had taken ages to move the conversation on from the OMG you did WHAT exclamations about the Vegas marriage thing – plus she had to re-do her make-up because she was seeing Dan this evening. And it was actually always better to arrive last to a tricky group situation, so that you could choose who to stand with.
She stepped out of the lift and immediately saw Dan on the other side of the foyer, waiting with all the others. Either he was much more noticeable than every other person around, or she had some serious Dan-radar going. She also had serious butterflies going, the ones she always got when she saw him for the first time after a while, except now massively magnified by the memory of last night.
She smoothed her jumper down and, pretending to have her attention drawn by the extravagantly decorated Christmas tree next to the reception desk, started to walk towards the others. The tree’s baubles were genuinely very striking, if not tasteful, in various neon shades. It wasn’t that hard to find it interesting.
Aaargh. Her heel caught in something and she went flying.
Dan, Rav and Anita all dived forwards at once to catch her, so they ended up in an awkward four-way hug. And, weirdly, it was like she knew, without looking, that Dan was the person holding her arm and waist.
‘Thank you,’ she said, moving towards Anita and away from Dan. ‘Don’t know what happened there.’
‘I think you were stunned by the tree,’ Anita said.
‘Yeah, or still ridiculously hungover,’ Sasha said. ‘Come on. I think our taxis are here and the light show starts in half an hour. Happy birthday again, lovely Evie.’ She put her arm round Evie’s waist and gave her a squeeze.
Evie managed to manoeuvre herself into a taxi with Sasha, Angus and Millie, definitely helped by some similar manoeuvring in the opposite direction from Dan, and they were on Fremont Street about ten minutes later.
The light show was amazing, actually, and Evie would have been completely absorbed by it if she hadn’t spent the whole time being far too aware of Dan, standing on the opposite edge of their little group.
They took taxis back in the same two groups as before, and got back to the hotel just before eight thirty, in time for the table they had booked in the hotel’s restaurant.
‘Your birthday dinner,’ said Sasha as they got out of the cab. ‘We have to have something sparkly.’
Evie’s stomach rolled. There was no way she was drinking this evening. Hair of the dog never worked for her.
The others’ cab pulled up next to them and Tola, Anita, Rav and Dan spilled out. And Evie’s stomach rolled some more, but this time because her entire mind and all her senses seemed suddenly to be filled with Dan again.
Right. Enough was enough. It was her birthday. She didn’t need this torture. What she needed was a little break from Dan and the others this evening and a lot of sleep, so that she could pull herself together and get over last night. She was going to pull a social sickie.
‘Last night was my real birthday dinner, and I’m feeling rough,’ she told the others. ‘Turns out thirty’s too old for getting really plastered. I think I need to go and crawl into bed and watch TV with a room service sandwich, and then sleep for a very long time. As a little birthday present to myself.’
‘You can’t do that on your birthday,’ several of the others said at once.
‘I really can.’ Now she’d thought of it, Evie really wanted to do it. She held her arms out to hug her friends goodnight. ‘I’ll see you in the morning for Christmas Day and Secret Santa. Don’t eat and drink too much tonight. Make sure you save space for your Christmas lunch tomorrow.’ She gave Tola and Millie, the two nearest to her, a final squeeze, and started a purposeful walk towards the lift, watching where her feet went this time.
Up the escalator and inside her room, with the Do Not Disturb sign on and the door double-locked for the second time that day, she sank into her armchair and put her head in her hands.
Her phone rang about ten seconds later. It was Dan. She stared at the screen for a second and then swiped. She was going to have to talk to him at some point.
‘Hi,’ he said. ‘I’ve left the others to it as well. Do you have time for a quick chat about next steps now? I totally understand if not, obviously.’
Evie looked longingly at her bed and the TV and thought about the awkwardness of talking to Dan. It would probably be better to get the chat out of the way, though, to get things back to normal.
‘Yep, great,’ she said. ‘Want to come to my room? Number one-thirty.’ They didn’t need to have this talk in the bar and risk the others joining them.
‘Cool, thanks. There in a couple of minutes.’
Evie sprinted into her en suite, re-did her hair and finished applying more lipstick just as there was a knock on her door.
‘Evening again,’ she said as she opened it. Dan’s eyes went straight to her lips. So stupid of her to have put more lipstick on for him. He’d clearly noticed. Maybe she should mention it. No, she’d sound ridiculous. ‘Drink?’ she said. ‘From the minibar?’ Drink? She’d actually just suggested that they drink alcohol again. In a room just the two of them. When she’d clearly just reapplied her lipstick. And he was looking jump-me-now gorgeous and all she could think of was how much she’d like to jump him now. ‘Or tea or coffee?’
‘A coffee would be great, thanks.’
‘White, three sugars?’
‘Nope. I’ve gone on a health drive recently. Only two sugars.’
‘Ha.’ Evie filled the kettle and switched it on.
‘That’s a really loud kettle,’ Dan said.
‘Yeah.’ They stood in silence for a moment and then Evie said, ‘Why don’t you sit on the chair? I’ll take the bed.’
When she’d made Dan’s coffee and a tea for herself, she sat down on the edge of the bed and said, ‘So I was going to google how to get divorced this evening. Really not how I imagined spending my thirtieth.’
‘No. We were supposed to be on our honeymoon this evening after coming good on our fallback pact.’
‘Exactly.’ Evie loved how expressive Dan’s eyes were. And mild jokes were clearly the way forward here. ‘And then have our two point five kids,’ she said, and then gasped. ‘Oh my God.’ What if she’d got pregnant last night?
‘No, I think it’s okay. I mean, I’m sure it is. We were definitely careful.’
Evie thought back and hoped she wasn’t blushing. ‘Yup,’ she said. ‘Pity we couldn’t have been a bit more careful when it came to avoiding wedding chapels.’
‘Yeah.’ Dan nodded.
‘Bloody Susan,’ Evie said.
‘Yeah.’
And then they stared at each other for ages and then Evie sniggered and then Dan did and then they both properly laughed until Dan was leaning back in the armchair snorting and holding his sides and Evie was lying on her side on the bed gasping and honking.
Eventually they were both sitting up straight again, and Dan said, ‘If I’m honest, that’s not normally the effect I’m hoping for when I sleep with someone.’
Evie looked at him and smiled, but not a lot. That didn’t seem so funny, actually. Right now she didn’t want to think of Dan sleeping with other people, or the fact that it didn’t
seem like the two of them would sleep together ever again.
‘Yeah, too soon for jokes,’ Dan said. ‘Sorry.’
‘No, don’t say sorry.’ Evie picked her cup up from her bedside table. ‘My tea’s gone cold. I’m going to make more for both of us. Have you managed to do any divorce googling yet? I did a little bit this morning but nothing concrete because my head hurt.’
‘Yep, same. I’ve done a bit. What I’ve gleaned so far is that an annulment would be better than a divorce because then legally it would be like the marriage never happened, and that you can get an annulment based on being completely off your faces but you have to have evidence. And the sooner we do it the better. And I think we’ll need to pay an attorney because there are a lot of forms. But I think it’ll be okay. Although quite expensive.’
‘Yes, that’s what I thought too. So annoying,’ Evie said, stirring their milk in. ‘Why couldn’t we have just stolen a couple of road signs or something? Why did we have to get married?’
‘I know.’
She handed him his new coffee and sat back down on the bed. ‘So maybe we should both do a bit more googling and come up with a shortlist of attorneys and check them out and then approach the best one. I’m pretty sure it’ll be okay to do it once we’re both back in London and we won’t need to stay on longer here.’
‘Good plan.’ Dan took a sip of coffee and shook his head. ‘Not enough sugar. What kind of a wife are you?’ He looked up at her and said, ‘Still too soon for jokes?’
Evie rolled her eyes. ‘I’m a great wife. I’m trying to stop your teeth falling out. Want to spend ten minutes googling now so that we have a plan? And then we can try calling them on Monday?’
Ten minutes later they had a shortlist and their plan. Dan drank the last bit of his coffee and stood up.
‘So, good,’ he said, ‘I think it’ll be okay. Just a very expensive and admin-heavy experience. Maybe not one to repeat in a hurry.’ He moved over to the door. ‘Happy birthday again. Goodnight.’
‘Night.’ Evie waited for him to close the door behind him before doing an enormous sniff to try to get rid of the tears that had suddenly formed. She really shouldn’t feel sad now, or bereft that Dan had left.
This was going to be fine.
She was totally going to get over last night; she just needed a little bit of space to process it, that was all.
Six
Now – Christmas Day 2021
Dan
At lunchtime the next day – Christmas Day – Dan dodged a couple of waitresses in – surely very demeaning – skimpy elf outfits, rounded a pillar covered in mini Santas climbing tinsel, and scoured the hotel dining room for the others.
They were all, including Evie, who was looking stunning in a sparkly green jumper, already sitting at a circular table on the far side of the room. Evie was directly opposite the one remaining empty chair, which was ideal because the table was big so they wouldn’t be able to talk much. His night with her had felt like a much bigger deal than your average one-night stand, and he’d enjoyed her company yesterday evening way too much for comfort. He didn’t really want to spend too much time with her again until things felt back to normal.
‘Happy Christmas,’ everyone chorused as Dan sat down. He’d opted for a lie-in and a swim this morning so this was the first time he’d seen any of the others today.
‘We’re thinking lunch now, obviously,’ Sasha told him, ‘and then Secret Santas in the lounge with coffees, and then a slow walk to work off some of the food.’
‘Great plan,’ Dan said. And he was going home tomorrow, and then next time he saw Evie they’d be divorced and have almost forgotten about this and be completely back to normal with each other. And why did that thought cause him a little twinge of misery? It would be great to have forgotten about it. He’d moved on very easily from his last relationship, with a woman called Hannah who he’d gone out with for a few weeks in the autumn. A one-night thing was nothing. Not a relationship at all. Although it didn’t feel like nothing.
An hour and a half later, they’d all agreed that Vegas could definitely do a good Christmas turkey and that they were far too full to have pudding yet.
‘Crackers and joke-reading?’ said Angus.
‘We’re joke-reading?’ Dan said.
‘Yes, we’re joke-reading.’ Angus was looking at Dan like he’d grown two heads. ‘You have to treat Christmas crackers with respect or it isn’t a proper Christmas.’ Yeah, so Christmas lunch was probably a lot more relaxed and a lot less fraught in Angus’s family. The Marshalls had learned young that their father wasn’t that tolerant of weak jokes. ‘I hope you aren’t a cracker philistine, Sasha. I want us to do Christmas properly when we’re married.’ They all whipped their heads round to stare at Angus and he went bright red. ‘Sash, could I just have a word with you outside?’ Wow. It seemed like Angus had tripped himself into a surprise proposal right in the middle of Christmas lunch.
‘Oh-kay.’ Sasha mouthed OMG behind Angus’s back as she stood up.
All the rest of them turned to watch Sasha and Angus make their way across the room, and then they all turned back to each other, with varying degrees of wide eyes and slack jaws.
No-one spoke for a couple of beats and then Evie said to the whole table, ‘So what are everyone’s New Year plans?’
‘Well, maybe celebrating Sasha and Angus’s engagement,’ said Millie.
Evie shook her head. ‘I don’t think we should talk about that,’ she said. ‘Just in case one or both of them comes back in here upset.’
Dan suddenly worried that might have a broader meaning, so he picked up his cracker and inspected it.
‘If anyone would like to join us,’ Evie persisted, ‘Sasha and I will be in the pub in the village on New Year’s Eve.’
‘And Angus too, I’m guessing,’ Millie said.
‘I’m not sure about this year but I often work on New Year’s Eve,’ Dan said. ‘It’s a busy night for us.’ You could always turn a conversation with a few medical anecdotes, and Evie was right; they shouldn’t gossip about what Sasha and Angus might be doing. He really hoped that Angus was proposing and Sasha was accepting, because Angus was loyal and decent and they blatantly adored each other, and if anyone could make each other happy, it was those two.
He was busy fielding questions from Millie about cosmetic surgery and, specifically, boob jobs, and genuinely worried that she was about to lift her top and invite some very personal advice, when Sasha and Angus came back into the restaurant, holding hands.
‘We’re engaged,’ Sasha started squealing from about halfway across the room.
Through the, frankly, insane restaurant-wide congratulations and ring-viewing that followed, Dan focused all his attention on his sister and her new fiancé – again, wow, his younger sister was getting married, to a very nice man – and carefully avoided looking at Evie, in case she was finding the group chat about weddings anywhere near as awkward as Dan, ridiculously, was.
Angus was just finishing explaining how he’d been planning to propose during the trip, maybe later today, just not during Christmas-cracker-pulling or in front of an audience, so he’d handily had the ring in his pocket, when one of the waiters hurried over and pressed a card into Angus’s hand. ‘You get engaged in Vegas, you gotta get married in Vegas. This is the best wedding chapel in town. Run by my sister.’
‘Is that the one you two got married at?’ Millie raised her eyebrows and looked from Dan to Evie and back again.
Neither Dan nor Evie replied.
Why had Sasha and Evie been friends with Millie for so many years? She was really annoying.
‘Oh, wow. When did you two get married? Which chapel was it?’ the waiter said.
Dan took a sideways glance at Evie. She was rolling her eyes and shaking her head and laughing a little.
‘Um,’ he said.
‘They aren’t really married,’ Sasha said. ‘It was a joke. We, however, are getting married. In England, in
the Cotswolds. Anyway, everyone, we all need to look at my ring again.’
The congratulations and ring admiration were followed by the crackers.
‘As the new Mrs Angus-to-be,’ Sasha said, ‘I’m going to be really strict about joke-telling. We’re all going to take it in turns to read them, and we’re going to do guessing and everything.’
‘Steady on,’ said Angus, smiling at her besottedly.
Evie was third up. ‘I have a medical joke,’ she said, holding her piece of paper up. ‘Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor?’
‘Nope,’ she said a couple of minutes later. ‘You’re all wrong. Wait for it. It was because he had low elf esteem. Ba boom.’ Nice delivery. You could see how she’d make a good teacher. She was smiling at everyone and there was that dimple again that Dan had first noticed all those years ago.
An hour later, they were all in the hotel lounge drinking house champagne to toast Sasha and Angus before doing their secret Santas. Sasha had told them that they had to spend as close to £20 as possible and that they had to buy proper presents, and had drawn them all out of a hat to decide who gave to whom. Dan had got Rav, who he’d only met a couple of times. After an initial total lack of inspiration, he’d bought him a pair of 3 kg dumb-bells for £21.
Following the cracker jokes, Sasha was going big on everyone taking turns, and no-one was going to contradict her. She was fairly bossy at the best of times, but when she was on a high from getting engaged, you’d be mad to mess with her if you didn’t have to.
‘Thanks, mate. Genuinely a good present,’ Rav said when it was his turn.
‘No problem,’ Dan replied. ‘I was pretty pleased with my brainwave until I realised that it’d take me over my baggage allowance for the flight. Had to leave my heaviest pair of shoes at home. I can take them back in my bag if you have the same issue. Best to go light on presents when you’re travelling.’
‘My present for Evie is light,’ said Sasha, bringing out a fancily wrapped square, flat, soft present. Clearly clothing.