by Lovett, Jo
‘It’s gorgeous,’ said Evie, beaming, when she’d unwrapped it and pulled out a cream scarf. ‘Linen and silk. Hmm. Pretty sure you cheated on the price criterion.’ Good present, actually. Now Dan thought about it, Evie wore a lot of scarves in different colours.
‘Organiser’s prerogative,’ Sasha said. ‘And I’m engaged. I can do anything I like.’
‘You are so right,’ said Evie. ‘Engaged people can do literally anything. Thank you again, lovely Sasha.’
Dan was last on the present opening. His present was clearly going to be from Evie, because she was the only person left.
She stood up to hand it to him and then sat back down between Millie and Tola on their sofa.
‘I’m going to apologise in advance,’ she said. ‘I was completely out of good present ideas. And every other secret Santa I’ve ever been involved in was at least partly a joke. So, yeah, I’m kind of sorry. But also not.’
‘Can’t wait to find out what’s inside,’ Dan said, raising his eyebrows.
Evie covered her face with her hands while he unwrapped. The paper was nice – gold Santas on a green background – and she’d wrapped it very neatly.
She’d bought him the Home Alone film collection and a pair of Christmas novelty socks. Not that controversial, surely.
‘You said you’d never seen Home Alone that time you drove me from London to Melting,’ she said, ‘and DVDs of old films are very cheap nowadays, because no-one buys them, so I had money left over. So I bought the socks. They’re very cool. You see the folded bit, like the cuff at the top. Lift it up.’
Dan lifted one of them and choked. ‘Evie Green. That’s outrageous. And clever. That’s some serious Santa sock pornography.’
‘Did you say Santa sock or Santa sack, ooh-er?’ Rav asked while Anita play-smacked him and Evie covered her face again.
‘Thank you very much,’ Dan told Evie. ‘I’ll watch the film and marvel that I’ve never seen it before, and I’ll wear the socks with pride.’
Evie uncovered her face and smiled at him and Dan felt something inside him falter.
They all went for a stroll late afternoon, before their next eating fest, Dan careful to avoid walking next to Evie, because he didn’t want any more strange feelings. He did the same over their evening buffet meal in the hotel restaurant.
‘Christmas-engagement-last-night-of-your-stay cocktails in the bar,’ pleaded Sasha as they finished dinner, waving her ring in his face again, when he said he was going to get an early night before his flight the next day.
Dan looked around the group. Everyone except Evie was watching him. Yep, he couldn’t be a party pooper. Of course he couldn’t. His sister had got engaged today.
‘Sure,’ he said.
Seven
Now – Christmas Day 2021
Evie
At least Dan was going home tomorrow. Evie really didn’t fancy spending any more time with him in the near future, especially not surrounded by other people who knew about the wedding. She wanted some time to – what was the word – recover, probably.
What was wrong with the two of them? Most people could manage to drink a few too many cocktails without getting married and posting dozens of TMI photos of themselves on social media. Anyway, at least he seemed to be as keen to avoid her as she was to avoid him. And that should not feel unbearably sad, because it wasn’t like they were regular features of each other’s daily lives.
‘Great,’ she said, and trooped with the others into the bar. She couldn’t possibly not join drinks on the night Sasha had got engaged to lovely Angus.
‘Jugs again, I’m thinking,’ Sasha said. Angus whispered something in her ear and she giggled and said, ‘Yep, not too much to drink. Let’s get some water too.’
Evie did not enjoy the evening despite how happy she was for Sasha and Angus. She nursed one Screwdriver – not as nice as the cocktails they’d had the other night, especially the bright-green one – the entire time and tried not to watch Dan looking ruggedly handsome while he chatted to Millie and Tola at the opposite side of the table. She was pretty sure that Millie had a bit of a thing for him. She was making far too much – in Evie’s opinion – OTT eye contact with him while she chatted. Obviously, Evie and Dan weren’t together, but equally they were currently married and they’d had a very big night together and right now, if she was honest, she really wouldn’t appreciate it if anything happened between him and anyone else.
It was actually a struggle not to glare at Millie when she practically batted her eyelashes at Dan when he excused himself to go to the loo, and not to beam when he sat himself down next to Rav and Anita on the opposite side of the group from Millie when he got back.
‘Evie?’ Sasha said. Evie jumped slightly and looked at her. She had a big, expectant-looking smile on her face, of the type where you felt like you just had to say a big ‘Yes!’ even when you had no idea what the person was talking about. Best not, though, or she could be saying that she’d milk a cow or go on a six-week belly-dancing course, both of which she’d done with Sasha in the past and regretted.
‘I’m so sorry, I missed what you said.’ Because she’d been obsessing over Sasha’s brother.
‘Will you be my bridesmaid?’ Sasha said surprisingly quietly.
‘Oh, wow.’
‘Shhh.’ Sasha eye-swivelled at the others and shook her head slightly.
‘I’d be honoured,’ Evie whispered.
‘Thank you so much,’ Sasha whispered back. ‘I should have waited until we were alone but I really wanted to ask you immediately. We’re going to have a lot of work to do. I want to get married soon. We’re thinking a marquee in Mum’s garden because then we won’t have venue problems. Hopefully this summer at the latest. We need to start making plans as soon as we get home.’
‘Wow again,’ said Evie. ‘So exciting. I can’t wait to start the planning.’ She pushed away a miserable thought about how Sasha’s fairy tale ‘meet your Prince Charming, fall in love, go out for a few years and then get ecstatically engaged’ was light years from her own pathetic ‘make a fallback pact with your secret crush, have a lot of other rubbish relationships and then get stupidly drunk and marry and divorce the secret crush on your thirtieth’ history. This evening should be all about Sasha and Angus, not thoughts about Evie’s pathetic, non-existent love life.
Eating and drinking huge amounts pretty much non-stop all day had taken its toll, and by ten o’clock they were all leaning back in their chairs, yawning and not talking that much. Evie wasn’t sure who the first person to suggest bed was, but everyone leapt (slowly) at the idea.
They all heaved themselves to their feet, and wandered out of the bar, through the foyer and over to the lift lobby, where Dan did a lot of handshaking and air-kissing, saying that he might not see anyone before he left in the morning, because his flight was just after midday so he was going to be on his way early.
Dan got to Evie last. She was very aware of at least a couple of the others watching them with what felt like avid curiosity. And then she was only aware of Dan, standing quite close to her.
He gave her a small smile and said, ‘So goodbye then. We’ll speak soon about the…’
‘Documents. Yep.’ Evie was sure her voice didn’t normally sound like that, but she felt very self-conscious having this weird goodbye in front of a little audience. She cleared her throat. ‘Great. Yes.’
‘Goodnight.’ Dan leaned in very slightly in for an air-kiss with at least six inches between their cheeks.
‘Night then,’ Evie said.
The doors of one of the lifts pinged open at that point. Dan stood back and gestured for some of the others to go. Evie stepped in with Tola and Sasha and Angus. It felt like a much bigger effort than it should have done to maintain cheery small talk until she could leave them.
When she was finally inside her bedroom, she plonked herself face down on her bed and let the tears that she’d been holding in spill out. It shouldn’t feel this miserabl
e saying goodbye to Dan. Nothing that meaningful had actually happened between them. People had one-night stands all the time, and some of those people had them in Vegas and – if they were stupid – ended up briefly married.
Dan was Dan, though. He wasn’t just anyone.
* * *
Evie decided to skip Boxing Day breakfast. She was still full from all the Christmas Day food plus she didn’t fancy possibly bumping into Dan in the dining room. Each time she’d seen him yesterday she’d felt too emotional for comfort. It would be better not to be looking over her shoulder the whole time. Probably best to stay in her room until lunchtime and relax.
She got a text from him mid-morning saying he hoped she enjoyed the rest of the stay and he’d be in touch ASAP about the annulment, which made her feel tearful again, so she switched the TV on and found an episode of Schitt’s Creek to watch.
By lunchtime, she was really bored and very pleased to be meeting the rest of the group. And, really, it was lovely for it to be calm and relaxed with no awkwardness around Dan, or being constantly aware of him. Yes, it felt a tiny bit flat, but overall it was lovely, especially with the ongoing excitement about Sasha and Angus. It was a little bit annoying that she kept wondering what Dan would say about things, but, really, it was way better without him.
‘There’s nothing actually going on between you and Dan, is there?’ Millie asked over their pre-sightseeing salads.
Evie chewed her lettuce very thoroughly to give herself time to think of a good reply, and then ended up saying, ‘No, nothing.’
‘Great,’ said Millie, with a suggestive pout.
Evie shoved some more lettuce in her mouth and chewed hard again. It felt like Millie had changed since they were at school, and not for the better.
* * *
‘Evie, over here,’ Sasha hollered across the main room of the Duck and Grapes, the pub in Melting Bishop, as Evie made her way across to her on New Year’s Eve.
Evie said hello to everyone she recognised and tried hard to keep her attention on the people she was speaking to rather than combing the room with her eyes for any sight of Dan. She’d spent the whole week fantasising slightly – okay a lot – that maybe something might happen between them sober. Given that he’d been away for Christmas, there had to be a good chance that he’d come home for New Year to see his mum. He’d said he didn’t know whether or not he’d be working. She’d been so tempted to ask Sasha whether or not he’d be there. It was actually really hard to decide whether or not she wanted to see him.
‘Evening,’ she said to Sasha when she’d finally made it over to where she was sitting with Angus and several local friends and Max. And not Dan. So maybe he wasn’t coming. Or maybe he was late.
‘I love your top,’ Sasha said. ‘Is it new?’ It was new. Just in case she saw Dan. ‘Should we look at my ring just one more time?’ She waggled her engagement finger and Evie laughed. ‘Oh, look, there’s Millie.’
Millie, looking remarkably glammed up, was standing in the doorway.
‘Hello,’ she said when she got to their table. ‘Thought I’d come after all.’
‘Let me buy you a drink,’ Angus said.
Millie sat herself down in his place next to Sasha, and said, ‘So when’s Dan coming?’
Really, Evie should be pleased that she’d asked that question, so that she could hear the answer too, rather than having an urge to slap her.
‘He isn’t,’ Sasha said. ‘He’s working tonight. I think it’s often a busy one in A&E and he had to swap shifts with someone apparently.’
‘Right,’ said Millie. She laced her fingers together and tapped her forefingers against each other a few times and then said, ‘I’m not going to be able to stay long. I have a party in Cheltenham as well this evening.’
Angus put her glass of white wine down in front of her, and she said, ‘Thank you so much.’
About three sips of her wine later, and while Evie was right in the middle of telling them about the Year Eight ski trip she was going on at February half-term, Millie stood up abruptly and said, ‘So it’s been great to see you. Happy New Year.’ And off she went.
‘She asked for a large glass,’ said Evie, indignant on behalf of Angus and generally furious with Millie. ‘She could have had a small one and saved you a good fiver.’
‘It actually really annoys me that she’s so blatantly got her eye on Dan,’ Sasha said. ‘I mean, I know you don’t want to talk about it and I know that what happened in Vegas was just a one-off and everything, but it still feels rude to you.’
‘It really does.’ Evie nodded, delighted that Sasha wanted to bitch about Millie, because she really wanted to.
‘I don’t think Dan’s at all interested in her,’ Sasha said.
‘Yeah, no, I mean, it’s just the principle. It doesn’t actually matter to me at all,’ Evie lied. It did matter, though. It was one thing him not having been in touch with her after their doorstep snog many years ago, but it would be another him dating one of her school friends right now. If she was honest, she wouldn’t like to think of him dating anyone at the moment, even though there was no reason whatsoever that he shouldn’t. They were both clearly free to do whatever they liked with whomever they liked.
Eight
Then – December 2014
Evie
Evie locked her Renault Clio – nicely nestled in the last space in Cirencester’s biggest car park – and beamed at the middle-aged man in the un-parked bottle green Jaguar who’d arrived literally minutes after she’d started waiting – with her indicator on – for this parking bay and had then tried to angry-gesture her into giving the space up to him.
She checked her watch. She was actually nearly half an hour early for brunch with Jed. She could go shopping but she didn’t have any spare money so that was clearly a bad idea. She could go and sit in the café and wait for him and read. Or, she could go to his flat and surprise him and they could have a lovely hand-in-hand walk along the river together to get to the café.
That would be nice. It was maybe taking things slightly to the next level, just turning up unannounced at his flat, but it felt like things were getting serious between them. They’d been going out since the middle of September, just after Evie had started her job at the big comprehensive in Cirencester where he worked as a games teacher. Some Year Elevens had seen them together walking through a park a couple of weeks ago and had done the whole ‘Ooh, Miss Green and Mr Rafferty holding hands’ thing and Jed had been cool about it; he’d just laughed. And he’d mentioned maybe going to the staff Christmas party together.
Jed’s flat was on the ground floor of a Victorian house a little way out of the town centre. She could see from along the road that the curtains at the front were closed, so he must be having a slow start this morning.
When Evie got to the house, the main front door was open. She went in and knocked on the door of his flat.
He didn’t come to the door immediately but he was definitely in there, because she could hear voices. He was probably watching TV in the sitting room, which his front door opened directly onto.
Eventually, he opened the door, wearing a dressing gown tied very haphazardly and showing a lot of bare chest.
‘Evie!’ he said, his voice a lot higher than usual, and pushed the door so that it wasn’t so wide open, but not before she’d seen Laura Carter, one of the history teachers at school, on the other side of the room, wearing a large t-shirt over long – and gorgeous – bare legs and feet.
Evie reflexively pushed the door back towards him and stepped into the room.
‘Morning, Laura,’ she said. ‘Morning, Jed.’ Something was whooshing loudly in her ears and her eyes were filling and she had no idea what to say next.
Jed tightened the belt on his dressing gown and said, ‘Evie, could you give us a moment?’
Give them a moment? Like she, his supposed girlfriend of nearly three months, was intruding? With the implication that she was being almost slightly
rude? Piss off.
‘I’ll give you as long as you like.’ Evie was pleased that she’d found her voice and, hopefully, her dignity, since her tears had receded. ‘Just so you know, Laura, Jed slept with me, in his bed here, two nights ago. Jed, just so you know, you’re a two-timing bastard.’
She turned round and marched herself back out into the hall, feeling slightly shaky with adrenalin. It took her three fumbles to get the main front door open but finally she was outside and had walked far enough along the road that Jed and Laura wouldn’t be able to see her out of the sitting room’s bay window if they were looking.
How unbelievably humiliating. God, how stupid, that, after Jed had mentioned the Christmas party date, she’d been on the brink of telling several other teachers that she and Jed were an item. Thank goodness the only person at school that she’d told was her friend Anita, who she’d known forever since they were at school themselves before they then ended up working in the same school.
What had he actually been planning for the Christmas party? How could he have gone with her if he was also sleeping with Laura? Maybe it was a one-off with Laura.
Now she thought about it, she and Jed hadn’t actually been out anywhere within sight of anyone from school apart from bumping into those Year Elevens in the park. There’d been a couple of group evenings out and he’d made excuses not to go each time. Again, bastard.
Okay. She should stop wasting her life thinking about him right now. Although what else was she going to do with her morning? God. She was so stupid. She’d really liked him. Not really really. Not like love really. But he’d seemed like a good long-term prospect. He was good company and good-looking and he was a teacher. And he had a lovely, neat flat.