The Mistletoe Pact: A totally perfect Christmas romantic comedy

by Lovett, Jo

  Hopefully it wasn’t just neat because he’d always just cleared up after other women. Eurgh, if he’d done this before, she really hoped he’d changed his sheets in between.

  It felt so bad to have been two-timed. And it was what so many men had done to her mum.

  Evie stopped in the middle of the pavement and put her hands over her face.

  What. An. Idiot.

  She should have been a better judge of character.

  Right. She wasn’t going to waste her morning. She was going to call Anita and see if she was around for coffee, and moan to her about Jed.

  Her phone pinged with a message from Jed while she was waiting for Anita. No hard feelings? Jx

  No hard feelings? Was he insane? She had very hard feelings. Completely rigid feelings. She sent a reply saying Piss off and then deleted his number.

  Which was clearly a pretty pathetic response from a spurned woman. She should probably have done something spectacular, like spray-paint his pride-and-joy kit car with something very sweary, or cut up all his designer trainers or, no, she couldn’t even think of anything else. And painting a car and cutting up trainers weren’t really spectacular; they were just petty. Better to have walked away with some pride intact.

  Forty-five minutes later, Evie and Anita were in the coffee shop in Middle Bishop, the village where Anita lived, a couple of miles from Melting, and Anita was shaking her head for the umpteenth time and saying, also for the umpteenth time, ‘Bastard.’ She poured herself another cup of tea and forked up another big mouthful of coffee and walnut cake. ‘I know it’s only been an hour or two, but I feel that you’re ready to move on to the next phase of your break-up.’

  Evie wasn’t so sure. ‘What is that phase?’

  ‘The phase where you hear gossip about Jed and realise that you’ve had a very lucky escape.’

  Evie did want to hear any gossip going about Jed, although she still wasn’t so sure that she was going to deal with it well. ‘Hmm. What’s the gossip?’

  ‘He’s been working his way through Humanities. Reliable rumour has it that he shagged Kaye Jones during the summer.’ Kaye was an RS teacher. ‘Which makes sense, because last year he slept with half of Languages. I’m going to be prepared if he moves on to Science next year.’ Anita taught chemistry. She was doing her teaching degree on the job and had started working at the school a year before Evie, so she was Evie’s go-to woman for gossip.

  ‘You’re engaged,’ Evie said. ‘You don’t need to be prepared. Why didn’t you tell me about all the others?’

  ‘He was your new boyfriend and you seemed so loved up, I didn’t want to upset you, and I hoped he’d turned over a new leaf.’

  Evie nodded. Not upsetting her hadn’t worked out, but fair enough. And, if she was honest, the worst thing about it all was feeling so stupid. Jed had seemed perfect on paper. The good news was that imagining him sleeping his way through half the female staff under fifty pissed her off more than it made her sad. The bad news was that she was crap at choosing the right man.

  ‘You know what you need to do,’ Anita said, still scoffing carrot and walnut cake. ‘You need to turn up to the staff party with a gorgeous man. Someone from outside school.’

  Evie shook her head. ‘Nope. I need to avoid men for a bit. Re-group.’ Why was it that Dan had popped into her head at the mention of a gorgeous man? Maybe it was the fact that she’d been massively humiliated this morning that had made her think of him. After they’d kissed last Christmas – and it hadn’t been just any old kiss, it had been a big one, which could have led to a lot more if they hadn’t been on her doorstep with Mrs Bird watching – he’d effectively run a mile; she hadn’t seen him once since. Which was almost worse, really, because it sounded like Jed was just a bastard, who did this to lots of women, whereas Dan was not a bastard. He had just obviously wanted to make it very clear by avoiding her that the kiss had been an aberration.

  Or maybe he’d just been very busy. Everyone knew that junior doctors were run off their feet. Maybe he hadn’t regretted the kiss. Maybe something might happen this Christmas with him. Maybe at his parents’ Christmas party again. Maybe it would turn out to be a blessing in disguise that she’d found out about Jed now. Seven years until their mistletoe pact deadline. You never knew.

  ‘Evie? Are you alright?’ Anita asked.

  ‘Yep. Let’s get some more coffee.’

  * * *

  A couple of weeks later, Evie was at Sasha’s parents’ Christmas party, sitting on a sofa, cuddling her new baby sister, when Dan – wearing a Christmas jumper and jeans – plonked himself down next to her.

  ‘Hi, Dan,’ she said, ridiculously pleased to see him. She actually had very sudden full-on butterflies. She hadn’t seen him since The Kiss; she knew from Sasha that he was so busy with work that he’d only been home a couple of times during the year, both times just for the day. Good job she’d worn her new dress. ‘How are you? Liking your jumper.’

  ‘I’m good, thanks. I’ve come straight from work. The jumper was for the benefit of the kids. I’m working on a paediatric ward at the moment.’ He jiggled Santa’s eyebrows and ears, and Evie nodded, impressed. It was a great jumper. ‘Way more to the point, how are you? I can’t believe Sasha didn’t tell me. There was no need for our pact, was there? You were worrying you wouldn’t be in a relationship by the time you were thirty and now look at you. Congratulations. What’s her name?’

  ‘Her name is Autumn and she’s my baby sister and I am totally going to need that pact. No way are you off the hook so lightly.’ Even though Evie knew it was just banter, she felt a little thrill that he’d remembered.

  ‘She’s… Oh. Wow. Well, congratulations again. And I still can’t believe no-one told me. Goes to show I’ve been far too busy this year. Autumn’s a pretty name.’

  ‘Yes, and not a surprise. My mum likes a name that tells everyone when you were born.’

  ‘Oh. Is that why you’re called Eve?’

  ‘Yep.’

  ‘And how did I never know that either? Well, wow again. Autumn’s so cute. And very sound asleep. Where’s your mum?’

  ‘Dancing.’ Evie indicated with her head. Dan followed her eyes towards where her mum was dancing with someone Evie didn’t recognise at all, and then looked back at her, his eyebrows raised. ‘Yep. Jack from your parents’ party last year is Autumn’s father but he basically scarpered within days of my mum doing her pregnancy test. And then he really scarpered. Changed jobs and everything so that he could move back to London. And keeps saying that he’d like to meet his daughter but hasn’t got round to it.’

  ‘Nice.’

  ‘Yeah, but you know, Autumn is cute, and perfect and adorable, and my mum wouldn’t have things any other way. And nor would I. I almost can’t remember before Autumn was born.’ Which was true, but if Evie had children herself, she was definitely going to be aiming for a conventional relationship first. It felt like it would be a lot easier, a lot calmer, a lot more ordered. For a start, how would her mum have managed without Evie around now? In fact, how had she managed when Evie was little?

  ‘So how’s she doing? Is she managing to carry on with her millinery around looking after Autumn? Are you living nearby now?’

  ‘Yep. I’m teaching at a school in Cirencester, and I’m living at home with Mum and Autumn. Mum’s fine for money because Husband Three was loaded, and she made a lot of extra hats while she was pregnant so she’d have a bit of leeway now, for Christmas, and she should be up and running in the new year before all the Cheltenham festival requests come in.’

  ‘So is Autumn a good sleeper?’

  ‘No. But luckily I’m a truly excellent sleeper so she hardly ever wakes me up.’

  ‘Your mum’s lucky to have you.’

  ‘No.’ Evie shook her head. ‘I’m just as lucky to have her. And Autumn. Honestly, I’m loving our expanded family unit.’ Although right at this moment she did have serious pins and needles in her arm. ‘I’ve been looking
after her all day as a little break for my mum and she’s just a delight. I mean, hard work, but delightful.’

  ‘Why don’t I hold her while you dance? Or just go and chat to some other people? Give you a little break of your own?’

  ‘That’s so sweet of you, but I’m fine, honestly.’ Now that Dan was here, he was really the only person in the room she’d like to dance with. ‘It’s quite nice sitting and watching the world go by.’

  Dan grinned at her. ‘Old before your time. Next thing you’ll be saying you can’t hear yourself speak and slippers are ever so warm and comfortable and that your neck’s feeling a lot better now you’ve found the perfect pillow and from now on you’re going to take it on holiday with you.’

  ‘I do have the perfect pillow and I would totally take it on holiday with me if I weren’t scared that I’d lose it.’ Evie rubbed Autumn’s back again in response to a gurgle but it was no good. Autumn lifted her head and yelled.

  ‘Good lungs,’ Dan said.

  ‘Let me take my daughter.’ Evie’s mum had supersonic hearing when it came to Autumn; she could hear her cry from several hundred metres away, so a loud party was nothing. She reached down, picked Autumn up and started rocking. ‘Hi, Dan. Why don’t you two go and dance now?’ She did a huge pantomime wink and eyebrow wiggle as Dan pulled Evie to her feet.

  ‘Good job she doesn’t know about our pact,’ Evie said to Dan as they walked away from her mum. A joke was always the best way to deflect her mother’s unsubtle attempts at setting her up with people. Although at least Dan was nice, unlike a lot of the men her mum chose for herself and tried to choose for Evie. Sometimes, Evie could really do with her mum having a more conventional love life.

  ‘Hah,’ Dan said. ‘At least she’ll have no problem finding a hat for the wedding.’

  Evie felt a smile spread over her face as they walked towards a group of people near the fireplace. She loved Dan’s company. She loved talking to him. She loved his sense of humour. And his kindness. And he was gorgeous in his own rugged way. Maybe something would happen between them tonight.

  They reached the group and a tall, blonde and beautiful woman who Evie didn’t recognise took Dan’s hand.

  Oh. Oh. They were quite clearly together.

  Why hadn’t Evie thought of this? Mortifying. Although at least no-one would ever know what she’d been hoping for this evening.

  Dan turned to the woman he was holding hands with and said, ‘Manda, this is Evie, Sasha’s best friend; Evie, this is Manda.’

  ‘Hi, Manda!’ Evie realised immediately that that had not come out of her mouth the way she’d wanted it to. She’d been aiming for nonchalant but she’d just sounded peculiar. Manda was smiling and blinking her very long eyelashes a bit too much, like she thought Evie was a bit weird. What Evie needed to do now was sound completely natural, not like she was mentally kissing goodbye, with real sadness, her mythical marriage to Dan in seven years’ time. And remembering their kiss last year and thinking with distaste of him kissing Manda. ‘So where did you two meet?’

  ‘Just at a party,’ Dan said.

  ‘Great,’ Evie said. ‘Well, I should go and say hi to a couple of friends over there who I haven’t seen for a while. Good to meet you, Manda.’ She fake-wide-smiled at them both. Bloody Manda did not return her smile.

  ‘I don’t like her,’ Sasha said a few minutes later.

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘She’s really unfriendly and kind of scornful. Not to sound incredibly judgemental about someone I’ve barely met. I don’t know. I just get negative vibes from her.’

  Evie nodded. She didn’t like the look of Manda either, but she was pretty sure that she wouldn’t have liked the look of any woman who was with Dan.

  But, really, what did she expect? Dan was amazing. He was gorgeous, funny, kind and a doctor. He could have any woman. Obviously he’d never have more than a passing interest in Evie, at the most. God, she actually felt slightly tearful, and like she’d rather be anywhere but here. Frankly, she’d rather just go home and have a hot bath and get into bed with a good book. But this dress was dry-clean only, so she wasn’t going home now. That would be a waste of at least a tenner’s cleaning bill.

  She was going to ignore Dan and Manda and have a good evening anyway.

  Nine

  Then – December 2014

  Dan

  Dan kept his arm round Manda’s shoulders and tried hard not to watch Evie dancing. She looked amazing in her sparkly blue dress.

  The last time he’d seen her they’d been doing some pretty intense – and pretty amazing – kissing on her front doorstep.

  He’d thought about that night far too much afterwards, and then he’d managed to put it out of his mind, because Evie was absolutely not someone he should date but, now he was in the same room as her for the first time for a year, it was difficult not to remember again.

  Manda turned to look at him. ‘Shall we get out of here? Kind of boring?’ she said.

  Shit. He’d been standing next to Manda, thinking about Evie. Terrible behaviour, although clearly no-one could read his thoughts.

  ‘I’d quite like to stay,’ he said. ‘There are a lot of people here I’d like to talk to. Old friends who I haven’t seen for a while.’ Other than his father. He’d happily avoid one-on-one father-son time.

  ‘But what about me?’ Manda pouted. And then her whole demeanour brightened and she smiled at someone beyond Dan. He turned to see who’d caught her eye.

  It was his father. The man was strutting towards them, wearing a flirtatious smile and holding eye contact with Manda. Dan hadn’t really thought before about his father’s walk, but, yes, it was definitely a strut. Like a peacock.

  He hadn’t actually seen him for a whole year before today. He’d only been home a couple of times, both of them day trips to have lunch with his mother when he knew that his father was away. Playing away.

  ‘I think it’s my turn for a dance.’ His father had reached them and was holding out his hand to Manda.

  Manda took the hand, visibly flattered. For God’s sake. Dan couldn’t even be bothered to try to smile.

  ‘Have fun,’ he said. ‘I’m going to go and find Mum.’

  ‘She’ll be in the kitchen,’ his father said, ‘fussing over mince pies or something.’ That sounded very dismissive.

  On his way to the kitchen, Dan passed Evie, chatting now, in a group. She looked lovely, her eyes sparkling and her hands gesticulating as she told a story. One of the men in the group definitely had his eye on her. Dan didn’t really like the look of him if he was honest. Smarmy.

  By the end of the evening, Dan had really had enough. Manda was alternating between obvious boredom and flirting with Dan’s father, the ‘silver fox’, as she called him. His mother was being her usual kind and great-hostess self and clearly pretending that she couldn’t see the flirting between her husband and her son’s girlfriend. His father was just himself. His brother Max was himself too, and being around him nearly always made Dan stressed. He always felt so guilty remembering the accident and its aftermath. And Max was always open and friendly, which just made Dan feel even guiltier, like he was pushing him away. Which he was, really, but he couldn’t help it.

  His sisters were great, as always, but he couldn’t talk to them properly without Manda blatantly trying to turn his attention away from them. Similarly, he wasn’t able to chat to his friends unless Manda was being entertained by his father. And then there was Evie, looking stunning in that blue dress, surrounded by admirers, which made him feel more jealous than he’d care to admit. He suddenly desperately wanted to speak to her again.

  When he saw that she, her mum and the baby were on their way to the front door, he inserted himself and Manda into a conversation with a group of his father’s male friends, and then slipped away and positioned himself near the door.

  As Evie and her mum were leaving the sitting room, Dan caught Evie’s eye and smiled at her. She pressed her lips together
for a moment and then began to smile back until her attention was caught by two men – both friends of Max’s, Dan thought – who started chatting animatedly to her and her mother. There was a lot of laughter and then one of the men pointed at the mistletoe above them and next thing the man was planting a kiss on Evie’s lips. Dan felt his own lips twist. He really did not want to see Evie kiss someone else. Which he had no right whatsoever to be thinking, especially given that he was here with Manda.

  Evie glanced in Dan’s direction, and he looked away quickly.

  Evie, her mother and the two men walked slowly through the hall together, talking and laughing.

  Dan really wanted to say goodbye to Evie at least. He busied himself with some other guests who were leaving while he waited for Evie’s little group to be ready to go.

  When they finally got to the door, Dan hugged and air-kissed Evie’s mum very heartily, and then hugged and air-kissed Evie even more heartily.

  ‘Happy birthday and happy Christmas,’ he told her.

  ‘Thank you.’ She smiled. ‘Happy Christmas.’

  And that was it. Off they went.

  As he said goodbye to some more people, he saw over their shoulders Evie and her mum begin the walk round the green, her mum carrying the baby, the two women’s heads close together as though they were sharing anecdotes. Their laughter carried back to him on the night air. He loved that they had such a close relationship. He should spend more time with his own mother; he shouldn’t let his feelings about his father keep him away so much. Maybe he shouldn’t leave first thing tomorrow after all. He’d volunteered to work Christmas Day, to avoid his parents, and had unsurprisingly had his hand bitten off by his colleagues, but he could stick around for a few extra hours.

  * * *

  Dan snuck out of bed early the next morning, leaving Manda asleep, to go for a run. He found Max and his newish boyfriend Greggy in the kitchen, back from a run themselves.