The Mistletoe Pact: A totally perfect Christmas romantic comedy

by Lovett, Jo

  ‘It has.’ Dan nodded. ‘Got to be a couple of years? You were working out in New Zealand, Mum said?’

  ‘Yep. Back for good now. I’ve taken a job in Edinburgh, in orthopaedics. We should catch up properly soon. I’m staying in London for the next couple of weeks. I saw your mum and dad in London the other day, too. Thursday, I think.’

  ‘Really?’ Odd that his mother would visit London without mentioning it to him. And hadn’t Lucie said that they’d been doing last-minute bride, bridesmaid and mother-of-the-bride dress fittings and other weddingy things on Thursday before he and Max arrived yesterday? ‘Day before yesterday?’

  ‘Yep. I didn’t speak to them, just saw them in the distance, in the middle of the concourse at Paddington station. I have to say, it was sweet. They were hugging; in fact, at the risk of making you vom, they were full-on snogging, like teenagers. It was definitely them. I saw your dad very clearly.’

  Dan felt his features freeze.

  He should smile, or something. Speak.

  ‘Small world,’ he managed. No-one mistook their uncle, did they, when they’d spent so many family holidays together. And he was pretty sure his mother had mentioned that his father had indeed been in London on business this week.

  ‘Here’s the man himself,’ Harry said, moving a little to the side to intercept Dan’s father on his way past them.

  ‘Harry, Dan.’ Dan’s father shook both their hands.

  ‘I was just telling Dan that I saw you at Paddington station on Thursday afternoon,’ said Harry. ‘Presume you were about to catch the five thirty train back here.’

  ‘That’s right. Small world,’ his father said, echoing Dan. ‘Yes, I’ve been working in London a fair amount recently. Back and forth from Kemble to Paddington. I have a role with the Royal College of General Practitioners.’

  ‘Nice that Aunt Fiona can go with you too,’ Harry said.

  ‘I don’t think Mum went on Thursday,’ Dan said.

  ‘No, she doesn’t often come with me. Busy at home.’ Dan’s father wasn’t so much falling into a trap, he was leaping into it. ‘Particularly in the run-up to the wedding.’

  ‘Really?’ Maybe Harry’s senses were dulled by all the champagne he was knocking back. ‘I definitely saw her. On the platform.’

  ‘No, I…’ Dan’s father looked at Dan, and visibly paled. Then he returned his gaze to Harry. ‘You must have seen someone else, Harry.’ He shook Harry’s hand again. ‘Good to see you. Let’s speak again later. I’d better go and fulfil some of my father-of-the-bride duties now.’

  Pity he’d apparently lost the ability to fulfil his husband-of-the-mother-of-the-bride duties some years ago.

  Dan could feel heat rising up his head. He really wanted to confront his father there and then. Tell him to stop the charade, that everyone knew that he was having an affair, indeed multiple affairs, and just to be honest. But he couldn’t do that now, not in the middle of Lucie’s wedding.

  ‘You look hot. Very red. You alright?’ Harry was peering at him.

  ‘Yeah, I’m great,’ Dan said. ‘It is hot in here, though. I might step outside for a minute.’

  Dan had himself back under control by the time he sat down for dinner. Normally, he was great at controlling himself around his father. He’d had enough practice; he’d been silently angry with him since he was sixteen, just before Max’s accident.

  He shouldn’t have let his father’s behaviour get to him earlier. It wasn’t like it was new information; it was more a reminder of what he already knew. And from snippets of arguments that he’d heard over the years, he was sure that his mother knew too. If she didn’t want to kick his father out, Dan really shouldn’t interfere. He barely even went home now; it was their relationship, nothing to do with him.

  ‘Looks like the food’s going to be fantastic,’ Evie said, showing him the menu. They were now a table of nine, due to Euan’s absence; apparently his mother was staying with him at the dentist, which was why Evie had been able to come back to the reception. Dan couldn’t say he was displeased with the result, though it was just because Evie was good company. That was what he was telling himself anyway. She was engaged, after all.

  ‘That does look good,’ he agreed.

  ‘So what would be your dream banquet meal?’

  ‘Good question. At least four courses, obviously. You know, now I think about it, it’s actually really hard to say what your favourite food is, when you can only have one thing for each course.’

  ‘Really? I think it’s quite easy. Like, for the starter, truffle risotto, obviously.’

  Dan shook his head. ‘That isn’t obvious. What about a really nice lobster dish? Or a pâté? Or scallops? There are a lot of options.’

  ‘That’s true. You’ve got me completely doubting myself.’ Evie shook her own head. ‘I’ve honestly got no idea now.’

  ‘What about a soufflé?’ said Greggy, from Evie’s other side.

  ‘Damn, I love a soufflé. I think I need to re-evaluate my choices,’ Evie said.

  Ten minutes later, when they’d all got their – tuna carpaccio – starter, Evie said, ‘Oh my goodness. It’s a good job that this looks delicious, isn’t it, or I could have just done a very bad thing and made everyone dissatisfied with this meal talking about all those other starters.’

  ‘I eat a lot of my meals in the hospital canteen,’ Dan told her. ‘I’d be happy with pretty much anything that doesn’t taste of cabbage.’

  ‘So how is your work? Is it stressful?’

  ‘Yup.’ Dan speared some asparagus. ‘You see death and heartbreak, obviously, and it gets to you at times. You know: with all our fantastic twenty-first century medicine, we can’t save everyone, and we can’t prevent bad things still happening to some of the people we save. You have to learn to accept it as part of life and rise above it, or you couldn’t carry on, but equally I think that if you were to be completely unaffected by the bad stuff, maybe you’d have lost your humanity.’

  ‘It must help to have colleagues you can share stuff with?’

  ‘Yeah, definitely.’ Bit of a lie, actually. He did have some great colleagues, who’d become great friends, but they usually kept the chat light. He’d be more likely to talk to Evie about how sometimes he felt like he just couldn’t cope with the tragedy of it all. But not now. ‘You get your funny ones too,’ he said. ‘I had a pea-up-the-nose kid in yesterday. That was an easy one. I just pressed his other nostril and told him to blow hard and it came out on the second blow. His mother asked me what she should do with it.’

  ‘Did you tell her she could bin it or take it home as a souvenir, her choice?’

  ‘I actually did,’ Dan said, pleased. ‘You’re a mind-reader.’

  An hour and a half later, Evie placed her knife and fork neatly on the side of her plate and said, ‘That was so good. I love trout.’

  ‘Thinking about making changes to your dream banquet meal?’

  Evie nodded. ‘Yup.’

  Dan shook his head, sorrowfully. ‘So suggestible.’

  ‘You can talk. Remember that summer where we made you laugh, all the time, just by telling you that you were going to?’

  ‘I do remember that. You were so annoying. Anyway, I’m an adult now. No longer suggestible. Unlike you.’

  ‘Fair enough.’ Evie nodded and then a couple of seconds later did an enormous yawn.

  Dan felt his own mouth gape in response.

  ‘Hah,’ Evie crowed. ‘Made you yawn. I think that’s practically the actual definition of suggestibility. Not so adult after all.’

  Dan shook his head again. ‘Still so annoying.’ He slid his gaze to the side and smiled at her and she grinned back. So beautiful. Gorgeous brown eyes, gleaming with triumph right now.

  * * *

  Twenty minutes later, it felt like an intrusion into his and Evie’s little world of happy chat when, as the waiters cleared their dessert plates and everyone raved about the lemon tart they’d had, there was a lot of cla
pping and cutlery banging from the top table. Everyone turned round to see Lucie standing behind her chair.

  ‘I’m doing the first speech,’ she said. ‘Screw the patriarchy!’

  Dan joined in with the cheering and whistling that followed, and when it had died down, turned back to the table to pick up his glass, in time to see Evie putting her phone back in her bag.

  ‘Just texted Euan to check he’s okay,’ she said. Euan. He really hadn’t seemed right for Evie.

  ‘How’s he doing?’ Dan fought to keep his expression neutral.

  ‘Apparently the dentist moved his tooth back into place and it’s going to be fine, thank goodness. He’s recovering at home with his mum at the moment. Thank you again for all your help earlier.’

  ‘Hey, really, I did nothing. I just hope he’s okay.’

  ‘Well, thank you.’ She leaned back down to tuck her bag under her chair and Dan caught a glimpse of her cleavage – which he really shouldn’t be noticing given that he’d just been reminded that she was engaged to someone else – and a glimpse of her forehead – with a very green bruised lump on it – as her masses of hair swung back. That had to be where her head had connected with Euan’s chin and it had to hurt.

  He opened his mouth to ask if she was, in fact, okay, but Lucie started her speech so he couldn’t speak.

  As the clapping was dying down after the final speech, he turned to Evie and said, ‘Going back to the tooth incident, how are you doing? Is your head aching?’

  ‘Are you telling me the large lump on my forehead is noticeable?’ Evie deadpanned.

  ‘I mean, only a tiny bit,’ Dan told her, smiling.

  ‘Yeah, it’s huge. I keep having to resist the temptation to go to the loos again to check it out in the mirrors. It was big this afternoon and humungous when I checked it between the main course and pudding. And it was starting to change colour.’

  ‘Huge is an exaggeration,’ Dan said. It really wasn’t. ‘But you’re definitely going to have some seriously impressive bruising there tomorrow. Everyone’s going to be asking if you walked into a door.’

  ‘So, Doctor Dan, is there anything I can do to reduce the bruising?’

  ‘Well, you’d normally want to put an ice pack on it but I’m not sure that there’s a lot of point eight hours after the event.’

  ‘Yeah, and it might trash my hair and make-up.’

  ‘Yep, I think you’re just going to have to style it out. Or wear a lot of make-up for the next few days.’

  ‘Tricky to do anything to flatten the lump itself, though.’ She raised her eyebrows and wiggled them a little. ‘Ouch.’

  Dan winced on her behalf. ‘Not surprised it’s a bit sore. I’d recommend…’

  ‘Paracetamol before bed with at least a pint of water?’

  ‘Exactly. Do I say that a lot?’

  ‘Not a lot. Just every time anyone has a drink in their hand after ten p.m. In my experience.’

  ‘You know what, the best sayings are always worth repeating.’

  ‘Maybe a slight stretch to call it a “best saying”.’ Evie smiled at him. She had a gorgeous smile. She always had done.

  The others from their table were all making their way to the dance floor, but Dan had quite a strong urge to stay here, talking to Evie.

  Plus, she didn’t look like she was as keen as she normally was to dance. Maybe her head hurt too much.

  He took a big slug of the port that had come round with the cheese and coughed. ‘Woah, that’s strong. How’s your head feeling now?’

  ‘It’s fine,’ she said. ‘I mean, totally fine. Though, speaking of, do you happen to have any painkillers on you? Just as a preventative measure?’

  ‘I do in the car. Lame, I know, but I keep a first aid kit there now. You wouldn’t believe the number of injuries you see in Casualty that could have been mitigated by some basic on-the-spot treatment. I’ll go and get it.’

  ‘No, honestly, don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I’ll just take some later.’

  Dan felt eyes on him and looked up to see his father snatching his gaze from their direction and walking away towards the dance floor. He ran his finger round the inside of his collar, immediately hot again.

  ‘I’ll get it now,’ he said. ‘I wouldn’t mind a bit of fresh air—’ that was an understatement – anything to get out of the same room as his father for a few minutes ‘—and the car park’s just round the corner of the front of the hotel.’ The wedding reception was in a country house hotel a few miles from Melting, and they were currently in a large function room on the ground floor, just off the main foyer.

  ‘Okay, if you’re sure, that’s very kind. Would you mind if I came with you? I also wouldn’t mind some fresh air.’

  ‘Sure.’ It’d be nice to have her company. Keep his mind off his parents.

  ‘Wow,’ Evie said as they went through the double doors out of the room and into the hotel foyer. It was absolutely heaving with people wearing very bright flares, mini-dresses and platform boots. Some moderately tasteful and some not so much. As they dodged round the hordes of seventies-garb devotees, Evie tugged Dan’s arm gently, indicated a board on the wall a few feet away and said, ‘Look, I think that’s a seating plan.’ She scooted over to it before coming back to him.

  ‘It’s an ABBA-themed wedding,’ she told him when they were outside and out of earshot.

  ‘What? Really?’

  ‘Definitely. The tables all had names like “Fernando”, “Money, Money, Money” and “Waterloo”. So cool.’

  ‘Cool? Really? I mean, would you?’ Dan didn’t think she would. She was a lot of fun, always had been, but from what he knew of her, she was also quite conservative in her tastes. Like, she’d dance manically to ABBA at her wedding reception, but she wouldn’t go for an actual ABBA theme. And if you could make an assumption about a man’s wedding reception taste from a two-minute acquaintance, he’d assume that Euan would go conservative every time, including on the dancing front.

  ‘Yeah, totally. I mean, maybe not ABBA.’ Evie was silent for a moment, maybe also thinking about Euan. ‘No, definitely not at my own wedding. But I’d love to go to a themed wedding involving costumes. I do like a fancy-dress party. You can always turn it into an excuse to wear an amazing outfit of some kind.’

  ‘I don’t hate fancy dress. I mean, I’ll join in if you twist my arm. But I don’t love it. And I definitely wouldn’t do it at my own wedding. Were I to have one. Which I won’t.’

  ‘Really? Why not?’

  For a mad moment, Dan had the urge to tell her about his family, about himself, his knowledge that every important relationship he touched, he broke, how it killed him that he couldn’t save every damaged child he encountered at work. And how he was scared that if he ever loved someone he’d get hurt like his father had hurt his mother.

  He opened his mouth and then shook his head slightly. That would have been that last glass of port talking.

  ‘Just. You know. Not for me. Various reasons. Here’s the car.’ He opened the boot. ‘And here’s my trusty first aid kit and here are the paracetamol.’

  When Evie had glugged two tablets with the bottle of the water they’d brought out with them, she looked over to the other side of the car park.

  ‘Look at that.’ She started walking towards an old car, sitting in a pool of light from the lamp above it. ‘I love a vintage car. And this is a lovely colour. Is it a Rolls?’

  ‘Not sure,’ Dan said. ‘I’ve never been a big fancy car fanatic. I’m all about getting from A to B and never breaking down.’ He peered at the little ornament on the bonnet of a woman outstretched. ‘That’s the Rolls thing, isn’t it?’

  Evie peered too. ‘Yep. Spirit of Ecstasy. Beautiful. I’d love to own one. Although obviously you’d have to have a modern, reliable car too, as you say.’

  Dan smiled at her. She was a woman of contradictions, and he liked that.

  ‘You finished drooling over the car?’ he asked.

  ‘
Yep. Ready to go back. Thank you for your magic medicine.’

  When they got back inside, the ABBA crowd were still milling around but now starting to head back into the function room opposite Lucie’s.

  ‘Ooh, let’s just get a look at the bride and groom,’ Evie said.

  ‘Really?’ Dan said, but he couldn’t help smiling. She started edging towards the doors to the room and he followed. She was peeping round the corner of the room, with Dan just behind her, when the band on the stage at the far end of the room suddenly struck up ‘Dancing Queen’ and there was cheering and a stampede from the crowd in the foyer. Evie got swept up in the swirl of people into the room, and Dan really had no option but to follow her since it didn’t feel right to abandon her.

  The crowd around them thinned out once they were a few feet beyond the bottleneck of the doors, so they were free to edge back out again, except Evie was pointing at all the décor.

  ‘It’s all so shiny and sequinny,’ she said. ‘Oh my goodness. Look at the glitterballs hanging from the ceiling. And there’s so much purple. It’s fabulous.’ She really didn’t look like she had plans to leave.

  ‘We should go.’ Dan indicated towards the door with his head.

  The band were belting out ‘Super Trouper’ with serious enthusiasm.

  ‘Just one dance?’ Evie said. ‘I love this song.’

  ‘This isn’t our wedding,’ Dan said. Although it was tempting to stay in here. His parents, Max, Harry – who might or might not have realised by now that something was amiss – were all in the other room. In here there were a lot of strangers, and Evie, who was already swaying in time to the music. Our wedding. That reminded him of their fallback pact. He’d mention it now as a joke if she weren’t engaged to Euan.

  ‘I know but we’re already in here and this is a great song.’

  Dan rolled his eyes at her but allowed her to lead him right onto the dance floor. Evie was immediately Travolta-style pointing, arm rolling and stepping with the best of the actual wedding guests. Oh, God. She had some of them lined up and they were all following her moves.