Scripted Love

by Karen Frances

  “You’ll smash it on set and it will help you. This is the distraction you’ll need because I can already see how torn up you are. Now, I was going to suggest opening a bottle of wine and ordering a curry, but we better leave the wine tonight. We need you fresh tomorrow.”

  She has a good point.

  The car horn sounds louder than it should. I nervously walk toward the front door with Julie behind me. She stayed last night to keep me company, saying something about not being on my own. I’m glad she did, because it meant I didn’t spend the whole night in tears. And, this morning, I’m relieved that I actually look not so bad.

  “You’ve got this,” she tells me as we walk outside after setting the alarm. Trevor’s car is parked beside Julie’s and he’s anxiously waiting. I don’t know what he’s worrying about; there’s no way we’ll be late.

  “Thank you for staying with me.”

  “I’m here for you always. Now, go on and break a leg and enjoy today. Just think, you get to ogle a couple of sexy men all day.”

  “Julie!”

  “Okay, not the best choice of words under the circumstances but there are a few hunks on the show.” The car horn blares, making us jump. “Go before he gets impatient. I’ll be here tonight.”

  “You don’t have to.”

  “I know that, but someone needs to look after you.”

  I watch as she gets in her car and waves before driving off.

  “Ella McGregor, get a move on instead of standing there dreaming,” Trevor says.

  “Sorry,” I say, getting into his car.

  “It’s fine. I have a few things to discuss with you,” he says, starting the engine and driving away from the house.

  “I’m all ears.”

  “Well, Michelle from the charity has been in touch, wondering when we can film the TV commercial, and I’ve told her this weekend or next because you’re on set every day this week. She’ll get back to me with all the details, but be prepared to be filming Saturday and Sunday.” Exciting. This makes me happy. This will give me purpose. “She also asked if you still want to help.”

  “Yes,” I say without hesitation.

  “Okay, well how about tomorrow after shooting? She’d like you to meet the family she’s working closely with.”

  “Yes. Just tell me where I need to be and when.”

  “I’ll find out later. Are you looking forward to today?”

  “Yes, even though I’m a bit nervous.”

  “You, my dear girl, have nothing to be nervous about.”

  I sit back in the seat and stare out the window, watching the early morning of a new week whizz by. But my thoughts drift to Connor.

  Has he already left my brother’s to travel up north to his parents? I thought Callum would’ve at least been in touch with me. I rummage around my bag. I take my phone and type out a message because I’m not sure I’d be able to hide my anger with him in an actual conversation.

  You’re my brother and I never thought you’d take his side over mine. But I wanted to let you know just in case you’re interested, I’m on set from today. I’ll be home tonight should you decide you want to talk to me.

  Callum: I love you and I haven’t taken his side over yours. And if he wasn’t already sporting a black eye, he would get one from me for leaving you. Who’s with you?

  Me: Trevor and he’s staying with me today.

  Callum: If it’s okay can I come over and see you tonight?”

  Me: Do you usually need to ask?

  Callum: I’ll see you tonight.

  I check my messages and emails and I don’t know why I’m surprised there’s nothing from Connor. I sigh heavily, dropping my phone back into my bag. “Everything okay?” Trevor asks. I nod in response and go back to watching the world go by.

  I hope today goes well, because Julie’s right. I do need a distraction. I don’t want to think about Connor, but I’m sure he won’t be far from my mind.

  “OH. MY. GOD. I’VE HAD so much fun today,” I say, sliding into Trevor’s car, relieved that the day has gone so well and that the cast made me feel welcome.

  “Yes, I see that. I wish your dad had been on the set today to watch you. To see that sparkle in your eyes we all feared was lost as far as your career is concerned. I’ve loved seeing the smile on your face. Especially when you looked so miserable when I picked you up this morning. I won’t ask what’s wrong, but I’ll say this, Connor sounded as miserable as you looked when I talked to him.”

  He’s spoken to him. My heart skips a beat just hearing his name. All day I’ve tried hard to put him in the back of mind. He’s never been far from my thoughts, especially when we finished filming and talk turned to the storyline Connor will feature in.

  “Ella, can I tell you something?”

  “Yes.”

  “Connor will always, and has always, done what he can to protect you. You need to remember that. He hasn’t given me any details, but I know he wouldn’t want to hurt you.”

  “But he has,” I say with a sigh. “How am I going to able to work with him?”

  “Ella, you are always professional. Look at how you’ve handled Donovan. I’m sure this will be no different.”

  “This is very different.” I love Connor, and in the show, he’s meant to play my love interest. The producers were excited about working with us, knowing we were a couple. They said the chemistry between us would make for some very intimate and believable scenes. Nothing between us would be an act. I know we would each pour our heart and soul into a kiss because we do that with every kiss we share. This is what the producers had seen when we were together and I know this is what they want to see in scenes we are together.

  I’m not sure that’s what they’ll get from either of us now.

  I think about his words as we start the drive back home. They spin around and around in my mind, making me dizzy. For whatever reason, Connor left to protect me. But why? What threat has been made? If he doesn’t communicate, how am I supposed to understand his reasons for leaving? Will it make any difference knowing the reason? No. At the moment it won’t. All I know is he’s left me and taken a part of me with him.

  I’ve not thought about the time, but as Trevor drives me home, I notice it’s getting darker. It’s almost eight p.m. I was so immersed in work that I hadn’t realised the time. There were only a few scenes I was in that needed to be re-shot, and not because of me, which I was pleased with. I was worried I wouldn’t fit in. The other actors have all been with the show for a number of years. I’m the newbie. The man who plays my gangster dad is an absolute sweetheart. He reminds me of my own dad; tough on the outside but a real heart of gold. Most of my scenes today involved him.

  Tomorrow, I’ve to be on set at the same time, and I’m excited and looking forward to it. I just hope I get a decent sleep. Although, it’s my first night on my own in weeks, so I’m not sure I will.

  My phone buzzes.

  Callum: I thought you’d be home.

  Me: I’m on my way. I’ll be there in less than 5 mins

  Callum: Okay are you hungry?

  Me: No.

  I wonder if my brother will be able to shed any light on Connor. Maybe he will, maybe he won’t. I’m not sure I’m ready to hear excuses.

  There are no messages on my phone from Julie, and after speaking to her earlier in the day, I didn’t expect there to be. She had messaged around lunchtime, asking how everything was going. I called her when we stopped for something to eat. She was only checking on me to see if I wanted her to come over tonight. I told her Callum was coming over, but I left out the part that he wasn’t staying. She seemed content with my answer and I’m sure my happy mood gave her the reassurance she needed.

  The car slows down and Trevor enters the code for the gates and drives through. I used to smile about coming home. Not anymore. It fills me with dread, and not just because I’ll be on my own tonight. The car stops beside my brother’s in the driveway.

  “Thank you for today,”
I say, turning to face Trevor.

  His smile is warm and sincere. “You don’t need to thank me for doing my job. What do you want me to say to your dad about Connor?”

  “Nothing. Not yet. Well, that’s if Callum hasn’t already told him. If he hasn’t, then tell him he’s visiting his parents.”

  “Okay. Well, that part isn’t a lie. If you want to talk to someone, Betty is always happy to talk through issues.” I nod with a smile. Betty is a good listener and does offer good advice when she thinks it’s necessary. “Go on in and see your brother and I’ll pick you up in the morning.”

  “Trevor, picking me up isn’t part of the job. I can make my own way there.”

  “Yes, I know that, but . . .”

  “Fine.” I huff before leaning across and kissing his cheek. I know they want someone to be with me at all times. I’m hoping Trevor hasn’t tried to talk my brother into staying with me tonight. There’s a part of me that really wants to be on my own. The longer I’m surrounded with my family, the harder it will be when I finally am on my own.

  I don’t hear Trevor’s car drive off until I’ve closed the front door behind me.

  “Well, how did it go?” Callum asks as I enter the kitchen. He’s sitting at the island, a mug of tea in his hand, and my mail is sitting in front of him.

  “It went great. Better than I expected.”

  “Brilliant.”

  “Now . . .” The single word hangs in the air around us as I grab a bottle of water from the fridge. I might not be hungry, but all the talking I’ve done today has certainly made me thirsty.

  “Ella, I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do when he showed up yesterday. He looked fucking lost.”

  “It’s fine,” I say, trying to shrug it off. Maybe if I tell myself often enough that I don’t care, I won’t.

  “It’s not fine. You look far from fine.”

  “No, I’m not. I thought everything was going well between us. I thought he truly loved me, but, obviously, I was wrong.”

  “He does love you.”

  “Well, he has a funny way of showing it. Yes, I know it’s my fault he was beaten up and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget that. And neither will he.”

  Callum stands, pushing his chair so it scrapes along the floor. He steps toward me. “Ella, that’s bullshit. He doesn’t blame you. That was the one thing he insisted I tell you.”

  “What else has he told you? What was his reason after everything that’s happened? Why has he turned his back on me? Why now?” My eyes fill with tears, but I don’t want them to fall.

  “I wish I had answers for you, but I don’t. He hasn’t told me anything. What I do know is that his decision to leave hasn’t been made lightly. He’s heartbroken.”

  “I don’t want to hear it. He’s gone and I’m on my own after letting him in. After trusting him. After falling . . .”

  Callum wraps his arms around me and I struggle in his hold. “Ssh. I know you love him.”

  “Yeah, well loving someone sucks. Big time. I don’t ever want to fall in love again because this fucking hurts,” I say, and my tears fall.

  I’m not sure how long I stand with my brother’s arms around me, holding me, protecting me. I can barely see with the tears that are streaming down my face. My vision is blurry.

  “Come on. You need to pull yourself together. This isn’t going to help you,” he says as he guides me from the kitchen to the sitting room.

  “He’s left me,” I say, sobbing as I sit down on the sofa.

  Callum sucks in a deep breath. “I know and he’s a fucking fool for doing so.” His words only make me cry again. This time harder than before.

  Callum sits down and tries to wrap his arms back around me, but I push him away. “Go home.”

  “No. I’m here with you for the night.”

  “I don’t want you here. I want to be on my own.” I raise my voice.

  “Ella, it’s not . . .”

  “I don’t want to hear it. Whatever you’re going to say, I really don’t care. I just want to be on my own.” I don’t need to listen to my brother trying to tell me everything will be okay. At the moment, it’s not okay, and I want to be left alone to cry and feel sorry for myself, before I have to pull up my big girl pants and carry on with my life. “Callum, I’m going to lock up behind you, set the alarm and go to bed. I’ll have my phone right beside me. If I need you, I’ll call,” I say with conviction as my tears stop.

  “I don’t know. Dad won’t be happy if he finds out you’re on your own.”

  “And who is going to tell him? Not me. Go on. Go home. You have work tomorrow.”

  “And so do you. If I stay here, there’s the added bonus that I’m here if you need me.”

  “Callum, I’d rather be on my own. With my own thoughts.”

  “I’m not going to convince you to let me stay, am I?”

  “No.” He stands and so do I. I follow him out into the hallway. He pauses at the front door with his hand on the handle. “Honestly, I’ll be fine.”

  He gives me a kiss, his eyes filled with sadness before opening the door. I stand and watch him as he gets in his car. I give him a wave before closing the door and locking it. I set the alarm and slowly climb the stairs.

  I pause outside the bedroom Connor and I have shared and glance along the hallway. It’s not a difficult choice to make, where I’m spending the night. I strip as I enter the room, taking my phone from my pocket. I turn it off and put it down on the cabinet then climb into bed, pulling the bed sheets around me. The smell of Connor still lingers on them.

  Tears fill my eyes as I close them. I already know I’m going to have a troubled night’s sleep.

  AS I LOOK IN THE mirror, I really wish I had got a decent sleep and hadn’t spent most of the night crying. My eyes are bloodshot and the dark circles underneath them show exactly how little sleep I’ve had.

  Not how I should look for my second morning on set.

  I almost look as bad as I did all those weeks ago. The morning my dad and brother came home from their holiday. The day I finally told them everything that was going on in my life. And here I find myself withholding the truth about Connor and me from my dad.

  This isn’t me. I won’t go back to that dark place I was in. I don’t want to be there again.

  When I see my dad, I’ll be honest with him and tell him that Connor has done the one thing he promised my dad he would never do to me. Hurt me.

  Fear pulled me from sleep on more than one occasion throughout the night. Strange dreams of Connor and Donovan left me frightened and angry. I woke up crying at one point, sweat dripping from my body. I wasn’t sure what had scared me so much. I only know that I woke up alone and scared.

  After all the weeks of sharing a bed with Connor, I didn’t like being alone. I missed his arms around me.

  If I don’t shake these thoughts, I’m going to look worse than I already do.

  I’m dressed, hair is okay, and as for my face, well, I’m sure make-up will sort that before I start shooting today’s scenes. I slip my feet into my shoes, grab my phone, and leave the bedroom.

  Walking downstairs, I switch the phone back on. It takes a few minutes to power on. I stop at the bottom step when it starts buzzing. I look at all the text messages. Callum, Julie, Jess, and the one that surprises me most, Alex Mathews.

  I know I need to speak to him, but I’m worried about what I’ll end up caught up in. I don’t want those looking for their money back from Donovan to come after me for it, but I also don’t want to be responsible for others getting hurt.

  Alex’s message is from this morning. I wonder if it’s too early to call him. I decide it’s not and call him before I change my mind.

  “Good morning, Ella. How are you?”

  “I’ve been better.”

  “Can I do anything to help?”

  “No, but thanks for offering. Now, you have news for me?”

  “Yes. The men from America that Donovan owes
money to . . . you won’t get any more trouble from them.”

  “Alex!”

  “Ella, everything is okay. There’s nothing for you to worry about. Cole only had to do a little digging to find out who Donovan owed money to, and the funny, or not so funny thing is, it was someone known to me. So, there’s nothing for you to worry about. A friendly word was all it took. However, Donovan and Miss Hunter have a lot to be worried about.”

  “I don’t know what to say. Thank you.”

  “You don’t need to say anything, especially not thanks. Friends help each other out. Now, Libby has asked for you to get in touch. She wants to run something past you.”

  “That sounds intriguing. Is tomorrow okay? I’m on set today, and tonight I’m going out with Michelle from the charity to meet a family.”

  “Of course it is. Just don’t forget to call her.”

  “I won’t. Thank you again.”

  “Bye, Ella.”

  I sigh deeply, ending the call with Alex. Feelings of relief sweep through me. My life can go back to normal. I don’t have to watch over my shoulder and Connor should be able to come back because I’m certain this was his reason for leaving. We have nothing to worry about. I’m not going to be hounded or bullied into paying money for that low-life of an ex.

  I need to call him.

  The tooting of a car horn makes me jump. I open the front door and Trevor is waiting for me. I grab my bag, lock up, and leave the house.

  “Well, you look awful,” he says as I get in the car.

  “Thanks.”

  “I’m only telling you the truth. From the state of you, I presume you’ve not slept?” Sleep. What’s that again? My poor mind was in overdrive, and all the tears . . . I can’t remember ever crying as much as I did last night.

  “Not really. Have you heard from Connor?” I ask the question I’m not sure I want to hear the answer to. I tried to call him, but I presume his phone is off, and even if it was on, I’m not sure he’d take my call anyway. Twice through the night I dialled his mum’s number, but I couldn’t call her.

  I just want to ask him one question. Why?