Here

by Denise Grover Swank

  Oh, God. I reach for the door handle, jerking as hard as I can even though we’re traveling at least fifty miles an hour. The door doesn’t budge. “Where are we going, Monica?”

  “He came to my house this morning and told me that you might show up. That you were dangerous. That you looked like you, but it’s not really you. He said you’ll hurt everyone who loved you.” She looks at me with wild eyes. “Clearly, you’re dangerous. You’re trying to steal Reece.”

  “No, you’re wrong, Monica. I’m not stealing Reece. I’m with Evan, remember?”

  Her eyes narrow. “Then why were you at his house?”

  I fight my rising hysteria. “He’s taking me to the ceremony, remember? Let’s go back and talk to Reece. He’ll straighten out everything.”

  She bites her lower lip and shakes her head. “He said you were tricky and you’d try to talk me out of it.”

  My breath is shaky. “Talk you out of what?”

  “Turning you in.”

  I jerk the door handle with renewed energy. When nothing budges, I start looking around the car for something to break the window.

  “Why did you come back?” she asks.

  “Evan brought me. See? I want Evan.” I lean over the backseat, looking for something hard. There’s nothing.

  “As long as you’re here, you’ll always be a threat. General Ghertner said you’ll infect us and make us do bad things. You’re like a disease.”

  There’s a car approaching behind us. Oh, please let it be Reece. “No! I promise I’m not going to hurt anyone. And I’m not staying! I’m leaving and Evan is helping me go. So is Reece. That’s why I was at his house.” As soon as I say it, I realize my deadly mistake.

  Her eyes narrow. “So Evan is part of all of this, too.”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  In the distance, a huge crowd fills the street in an open square covered by a giant tarp. Monica slows down.

  “You did. You said he was helping you. You’ve infected him. I can’t let you infect Reece.” She gives me a quick glance before turning back to the road. Part of her mania slips away. “I loved you like a sister, but you were always so perfect. No one can live up to that. You were like this supernova that dazzled everyone you met. I stood in your shadows until you died.” She gives me another glance with tear filled eyes. “I missed you like crazy, but I could finally breathe. I could finally be me without being compared to you all the time. I lived with guilt over that for awhile, especially since the accident was my fault.” Her voice hardens. “But God help me, I don’t want you to come back.”

  Her words send a jolt of pain. The fingers of rejection wrap around my heart and squeeze, making me gasp for breath. For six months, I would have given anything, even my own life, to bring her back. I would have sold my soul for just a few minutes with her yet she so flippantly tosses my life away. Her words mock my grief, suggesting the months of self-punishment mean nothing. That I’ve thrown my life away for no purpose. I remind myself it’s not me she’s talking about and she’s not my Monica, yet anger pulses, washing away my grief.

  I won’t let her do this. “General Ghertner was right. I’m not her.”

  She shakes her head. “This is so confusing. You look just like her. Even if you’re not, I have to turn you in. I can’t let you infect Reece. I can’t lose him.”

  The car gains on us. I see Reece’s face in the windshield.

  “I need to find the general,” she mutters to herself. “He said to go directly to him and no one else.”

  If I don’t stop her, she’ll not only turn me in but Evan and Reece, too.

  “Monica, let’s just stop and work this out.”

  “There’s nothing to work out!”

  I have to do something to stop her. I reach for the steering wheel.

  She shoves me away and I slam into the panel of the passenger door, my ears ringing.

  “You don’t think I expected that?” she screams. “I thought you’d try it sooner. He told me you were dangerous and would do anything to get away.”

  “You’re crazy!” I shout, lunging for the steering wheel again.

  The car jerks forward as Reece hits us from behind.

  Monica’s chin lifts with a gasp of distress. “I’m too late. You’ve infected Reece.”

  He hits us again, from the side this time, and we run off the road. Our car bounces and slams into the corner of a house.

  Not again.

  I’m not wearing a seatbelt and I hurtle forward, my face hitting the dashboard. My head swims in a sea of darkness.

  “Julia!” Reece screams outside.

  I try to clear the fog.

  “Julia.” Reece’s breathless voice is next to me. The glass in the door has shattered. His hand moves up my arms and on my shoulders. “Are you hurt?”

  I reach up to touch a gash on my cheek. “Just my head, I think.” I turn to check on Monica, but the driver’s door is open and she’s gone. “Monica.”

  “Shit!” Reece kicks the car door. “Where’s she going?

  I jerk on the door handle again, pounding the panel when it doesn’t open. “The general.”

  “Son of a…” He opens the car door from the outside. “We have to stop her. And we have to get you out of the sun.” He’s wearing a jacket with the hood pulled over his head.

  I get out and wait for the world to stop spinning. We sprint after her, but Reece is faster and I’m slowing him down. “Go!” I shout. “Stop her!”

  “No.” His eyes are hard. “We stay together.”

  I look ahead to the crowd, Monica nowhere in sight. “Evan.”

  He grabs my hand. “I know.”

  We run through the crowd, the act itself drawing attention.

  “Do you know where to find him?” I ask, clinging to Reece’s hand, scared I’ll lose him.

  “Yeah.” He points to an enormous stage on a platform too high for us to climb.

  I stop. My grip jerks him back. “It’s hopeless.”

  “The hell it is.” He pulls me and we run, skirting the outside of the mob.

  A voice booms over a PA system. “…this joyous occasion when we celebrate the perseverance of the human race.”

  We’re closer and I see him. Evan’s sitting next to his father, wearing a grim expression that matches every other face on the stage. I have no idea how we’ll reach him in the middle of the Committee, on display before thousands of people. My only consolation is that General Ghertner is one row and several chairs to the left of Evan.

  “We have to stop her, Reece. We have to find Monica and stop her before she gets to General Ghertner.”

  Two guards patrolling the crowd work their way toward us. I lift my gaze to Reece. Alarm fills his eyes. He wraps an arm around me and turns our backs to them. I push out a breath as they pass.

  We step several feet away from the edge of the crowd. Reece looks toward the stage. “No. We need to head to the portal. She can’t get to the general so we might have enough time.” He reaches up his hand and wipes blood from my cheek, then swipes it on his jeans.

  I shake my head, anger rising. “You’ll have to drag me kicking and screaming. I’m not leaving him here, knowing they’ll do heaven knows what to him.”

  “That’s not what Evan wants.”

  “What Evan wants. What you want.” I mimic. “What about asking what I want? I’m not leaving unless I know he’s safe.”

  He groans. “Finding Monica is going to be like finding a needle in a haystack.”

  “Then we need to think like her.”

  He gives me a blank stare.

  “Okay, she’s running in the crowd looking for the general, but he’s on the stage and he told her to only report to him. She was acting pretty wacko in the car, but surely she’s not going to rush the stage, right? So what’s she going to do? She ran into the crowd. Where’s she going to wait?”

  “She’ll probably find our friends. We usually meet as a group.”

  “So we find
them and hope they don’t believe her crazy nonsense about me being alive. Only we can’t let them see me.”

  “I’m not leaving you.”

  “When we get close, I’ll hang back out of sight. You’ll convince them she’s had a mental breakdown and you need to take her home.”

  His eyes brighten. “It just might work.”

  I put my hand on my hip and purse my lips. “Maybe next time you guys will ask for my opinion.”

  “Point taken.”

  “How much time do we have?” An undercurrent of dread hums in my head.

  “About thirty minutes until it’s over.”

  We weave through the mob, searching out Reece and Evan’s friends and moving out of the way of the roaming patrols. Ten minutes later, we find them. Monica stands in the middle. She’s waving her hands in animated gestures.

  We stop and I take a deep breath. “Where will you take her? Do we have time to take her home?”

  “No, I’ll hide her somewhere here.” He pauses. “I’ll shoot her with my tranquilizer gun.” His eyes narrow with determination, but his voice lacks the same conviction.

  I remind myself even though she’s trying to turn me in, she’s still Reece’s girlfriend.

  “But first we have to find somewhere for you to hide.”

  Their friends are close to the edge of the crowd. Off to the side are several trash dumpsters. “I’ll hide behind those. That way I can see you, but I’m out of sight.”

  Reece is reluctant but finally agrees. I have to pry his hand from mine so we can split up.

  “I’ll wait until you come back for me. Then we’ll get Evan and go.”

  He pulls me into a hug. “Don’t leave me,” he whispers in my ear, reminding me of another time and another place.

  I choke back tears and shake my head. I can’t find the words to answer.

  I push through the people and hide behind the dumpster. Reece wanders into his group of friends. A couple of guys slap his back and he approaches Monica, who’s wide-eyed and wary. Reece hugs her and talks to their friends, several of which shake their heads. She’s arguing with them, but they wear looks of pity. Reece puts his arm around Monica’s back and leads her away. She turns back, shouting as they pass the dumpsters, “She’s alive! I saw her!”

  Another patrol approaches toward Reece and Monica. My breath catches in my throat. If they hear Monica, they’ll catch us all. My back tenses, prepared to run.

  Reece glances in their direction and stops, turning Monica to face him. He whispers in her ear and smoothes her hair. She stops shouting and looks up at him, yearning in her eyes. He leans down and kisses her, pulling her tightly to his body. The guards pass, casting a glance in their direction. They move on, yet Reece still kisses her with an aching tenderness. Choking back tears, I realize he’s telling her goodbye. He lifts his head with a sad smile. He kisses her forehead as they disappear toward the back of the gathering. I turn my gaze toward the platform incapable of dealing with the mix of emotions Reece and Monica have stirred.

  The president is talking. She speaks in a monotone about the accomplishments of the United Regions. Her voice lulls the people into dazed stares as they listen. I’m tired from lack of sleep, but my fear makes me alert. I shiver, reminded that I don’t have a coat.

  “Miranda, the view is better here.”

  My head jerks up. That’s my father’s voice.

  I peek my head around the corner. My parents and Anna work their way through the bodies to get closer to the stage.

  “John, isn’t this close enough?” my mom asks.

  “Just a little bit farther. It’s not every year the president attends our celebration.” He smiles at her and she shakes her head with a grin. It sounds exactly like my dad would have said before our lives got screwed up.

  They look happy. How can they be happy when I’m not with them? No wait, I didn’t leave them. The other Julia did. Dad puts his arm around Anna’s shoulder and she looks up, her eyes shining. Maybe this is what my family at home will look like if I leave. Maybe they’ll find more peace if I’m gone.

  I chew on this thought, forcing myself to stay in my spot even though everything in me begs to go to them. It’s a ridiculous idea. I’ll freak them out if they see me.

  “Done.” Reece says in my ear and I jump, banging my shoulder into the dumpster. The container vibrates and echoes through the gathering. Thankfully, no one seems to notice.

  “I moved my car while I was at it. We need it later.”

  I glance over my shoulder at him. “Are you okay?”

  His eyes look sad, but he nods. “Let’s go.” He grabs my arm and pulls me up.

  “I’m sorry.”

  He twists his mouth into a grimace.

  I rub my hands up and down my arms.

  “Here.” Reece takes off his jacket and hands it to me. “Put this on.”

  “I’m not taking your coat. You’ll get cold.”

  He pushes my hand into a sleeve. “You need the hood. If people recognize you, we’ll be in a bigger mess. I should have thought of it sooner.”

  I slip into the other sleeve and pull the hood over my head, pointing. “My parents are over there. We’ll have to avoid them.”

  “That must be weird.”

  “Tell me about it.” I cast a glance back to the happy family as we move away. Sadness billows. They aren’t my family. This isn’t my world.

  We drift to the opposite side, where Evan’s sitting. Reece leans into my ear. “We’ll have to wait until it’s over and try to grab him then.” He takes a deep breath. “We should just go to the road and send you back now. Later there’ll be more guards and it’ll be next to impossible. We stopped Monica, so the danger’s over.”

  He’s right that now is our best chance to get away, but Monica will still tell them about Evan and Reece’s involvement when someone finds her. Reece might not be around to suffer the consequences, but Evan will. “No, we wait for Evan. I won’t leave without him.”

  “I knew you’d say that,” he grumbles. “You might be killing us all.”

  “Then I’ll do it myself.”

  But he stays by my side as we push through several more people. A woman grabs my arm. “Julia?”

  I freeze, my eyes widening in fear. She has dark brown hair, flecked with grey, but her face has fewer wrinkles than I’d expect. In any case, I don’t know who she is.

  “Oh, my goodness, it is you!” She says, her face animated with excitement. “You’re supposed to be dead!”

  “Uh…I…” I stammer trying to pull out of her grasp.

  Reece pats the woman’s hand holding my arm. “I’m sorry. You have Theresa mistaken for someone else,” he says in an apologetic tone, as though she’s senile.

  The blood in my veins has turned to sludge. I can’t think straight.

  “No,” she shakes her head. “I’d know her anywhere. It’s Julia.” She turns to me, tears in her eyes. “Where have you been all this time?” She pats my cheek with her free hand.

  Reece shoots me a dark look.

  I find my voice. “He’s right. I’m Theresa. I’m sorry for your loss, though.” I manage to jerk my arm from her hand.

  “Yes, we’re very sorry,” Reece murmurs as he sweeps an arm around my waist and pulls me away.

  “Julia!” she calls after me.

  “Do not look back at her,” Reece sneers into my ear.

  “I’m not.” I say, although I was tempted until he said it. My whole body shakes from the encounter. I can’t believe we were so close to getting caught.

  “We’ve been careless.” Reece hisses. “We’ve got to get you out of this crowd before someone else recognizes you and alerts the guards you’re here.”

  The president finishes her speech and the people cheer. She graces them with her crystalline smile and returns to her seat.

  “It’s almost over,” Reece says. “Maybe we can catch Evan before your long lost friend tells the whole world you’re alive.”


  “I don’t even know her. That wasn’t my fault,” I grumble.

  “If you just went to the portal already it wouldn’t have happened,” he growls. “I say we go now.”

  I pull the hood further down my forehead. “Well, that’s not happening. If you don’t want to deal with it, go ahead and take off and I’ll find Evan myself.”

  He swears under his breath.

  We’re still a good distance from the stage. “What will Evan do when it’s done? Where will he go?”

  “There’s a private reception for the Committee. He’ll go to that. We need to intercept him before he goes.”

  I groan in frustration. “This would all be easier if you had cell phones! We could just text him.”

  “That might actually mean something if I knew what it meant.”

  I feel like kicking him but refrain. I need him to be able to run.

  The Committee files off the stage while patriotic music blares. We border the edge of the audience.

  “We need to hide,” he says. “They’re going to spot us this close and we don’t need that woman to be able to point us out. This is a suicide mission as it stands. No reason to tip the balance more to their side.”

  We move behind giant speakers and sound equipment boxes close to the platform. Reece’s eyes narrow as he scans the people. “We need to get someone to take him a message.”

  “How do you plan to do that?”

  His mouth lifts into a cocky smile but his eyes are cold. “With the power of persuasion.”

  “Which one of us is going to be persuasive?”

  He snorts. “Very funny. Watch and learn.” He saunters toward a girl in the crowd who looks like she’s a little younger than us. He leans into her ear and points toward Evan, who’s about to exit the stage. She looks up at him with a hopeful expression and nods eagerly. Reece bends toward her and lifts a strand of her hair.

  A ping of jealousy pricks my ego.

  He kisses her cheek and a blush follows, making her face an adorable shade of pink. Poor girl. She’s going to be majorly disappointed when she comes back and finds him gone.

  The girl walks toward the platform and Reece stands in place, watching her go. She turns around at the corner and he gives her a wave until she disappears.