Hated by Many, Loved by None

by Shan

  "I don't know, but I got some good news, and I got some bad news."

  "Tell me the bad news first, and then, maybe, I'll feel better after I hear the good."

  "The bad news is we only have enough product to last us for the next two to three weeks. Good news is I think I know who Quin's connect is."

  I reached in my purse, pulled out a cigarette, and quickly lit the end of it. I inhaled a cloud of smoke and slowly blew it out. While looking deep into Jahzara's eyes, I waited for her to tell me what this meant. In two to three weeks, would we be broke again? So what if she knew who Quin's connect was. It didn't mean that he would meet with her.

  "Honey, did you hear me?" Jahzara asked, snapping me from my thoughts.

  "Yeah, I heard you. So, what do we do? I cannot go back to being more broke than what I already am. Now that Cedric’s gone, I am really by myself. I can't afford rent and the other bills."

  My eyes suddenly became watery as I thought about how much harder life was about to get for me. I had put Cedric down so many times for not taking care of his responsibilities, but, as I thought about it, he did everything. Paying the light bill yesterday was the first time I'd paid a bill in a long time. Things got shut off, but we always had a roof over our heads.

  "What have I done? What have I…¿Qué he hecho, Jah?"

  "Honey, calm down. It's going to be okay. You know, whatever happened between you and Cedric will not even matter in a few days. Just like you always go back to him, he will come back to you. Right now, we gotta focus on getting this paper."

  "Okay, okay. You're right, I'm sorry," I said, taking in a deep breath. I wiped my eyes and tried to take my focus off of my home life. Jahzara was right. Cedric would come back, and we would make sweet love like we always did.

  I sat and listened to Jahzara as she went over different ways to approach Quin's connect. She said she had met him several times before but didn't put together who he was until after going through Quin's things last night. I really hoped that, no matter what idea she came up with, it would work and keep getting us money.

  41

  6 Tomeka

  6

  Tomeka

  After a long day at work, I decided to come home and play nice with DeMarcus. Things had been really tense since I’d put our business in the streets. The ass whooping I suffered when I came back home from Jahzara’s the other night was really light compared to the previous ones I’d received after pissing him off. I halfway expected him to kill me for the show I’d put on that day.

  I stood over the stove and stirred my pot of collard greens, and then pulled the oven open to check on the cornbread. I usually didn't throw down like this unless it was a Sunday, but I knew a meal this great would relax both DeMarcus and me. I heard the door open and close, and then, shortly after, I heard DeMarcus' footsteps coming towards me.

  "Damn, you got it smelling good up in here," he said.

  He kissed me on the back of my neck as he wrapped his arms around my slim waist. Instantly, the aroma of perfume struck me in the nose, overpowering the smell of the food. I turned around to stare DeMarcus in his face, the denseness behind his dark brown eyes said that he was either drunk or high. His brown skin was smooth without so much as a blemish in sight. The dark chocolate sweater he wore fit so perfectly over his fit arms and chest. I brought my stare down to the slacks and dress shoes and immediately showed my displeasure.

  "When did you come home and change clothes?" I asked.

  "What do you mean? This is what I had on when I left for work this morning," he said, looking down at his clothing.

  "DeMarcus! No, it's not! I ironed your clothes last night, remember?"

  "Well, this is what you had out for me to wear. Look, don't start tripping and shit. Just let me know when dinner is ready. I'll be in the living room watching the game.” DeMarcus opened the refrigerator and grabbed a beer out of it.

  "Why don't you go live and eat off of that bitch?" I mumbled as I pulled the oven open.

  "What did you say to me?" DeMarcus jerked me by my arm, causing me to turn in his direction. He slapped me with an open hand that pushed me back against the hot stove. I didn't understand why he liked to do me like this as much as he did. Why must he continue to hurt me when he is the one always doing wrong? I wondered. I brought my hand to my lips and could feel blood dripping down my chin.

  "What? You want me to apologize? Bitch, fuck you! You always got something slick to say! I spend most of my time with you, and all you can do is complain!" DeMarcus yelled like some crazed maniac.

  I turned my back on him and brought my attention back to my food. I said nothing and did nothing for fear that I would only make the situation worse.

  "You just gonna turn your back on me, like I wasn't just talking to you!"

  He jerked my head backwards. Then, he pushed forward into the hot stove with force. My eyes widened in desperate fear that I was going to get burned and scarred for life. I did everything to remove DeMarcus’ hands from me, but that only made things worse. He punched me so hard in the side of my head that it sent me flying into the refrigerator. I collapsed to the floor but quickly got onto my knees and crawled out of the kitchen.

  "You need to learn when to shut your mouth! Maybe, then, I will stop putting my hands on you!" DeMarcus huffed.

  Soon as I was clear from DeMarcus' wrath, I climbed to my feet and raced to the bedroom where I locked the door behind me. I looked around the room until I spotted my purse hanging on the knob of the closet door. I rushed over towards it, pulled out my cell phone, and dialed 911. This shit has to stop, I thought. I was close to losing my job for calling in so much because of these black eyes, busted lips, and other noticeable bruises. I was certain that, by tomorrow morning, I would be swollen and making another embarrassing call that would permanently blemish my record.

  “Meka, open the damn door!” DeMarcus bellowed.

  I nervously dropped the phone to the floor, knowing that, if he caught me calling the boys on him, he would beat me even worse before they could make it here to stop him. I reached down and grabbed the phone from the floor and put my ear to it just in time to hear the operator asking what the emergency was.

  “Yes, I need to report an assault,” I said in a hushed tone.

  “I’m sorry, ma’am. Can you please speak up? You want to report what now?” the operator asked.

  “I want to report an assault. My boyfriend has hit me multiple—”

  The bedroom door came crashing open, and DeMarcus filled the space between him and me within seconds. My entire body shook in fear, and the phone slipped from the grasp of my hand. DeMarcus brought his fist up and punched me in the face and grabbed me so that I wouldn’t fall. He punched me over and over again before allowing my body to drop to the floor. I rolled over onto my stomach in hopes of protecting my face from further brutality. DeMarcus delivered a kick so powerful to my stomach that I could hear and feel my ribs crack. My mouth dropped open, but no sound came out. The pain was so horrific that it sent me into a sudden state of shock. I closed my eyes and just lay on the bedroom floor, allowing my mind to take me away from the current state of my body.

  *****

  DeMarcus was no longer standing over me and could be heard in the other room, cheering for the game. I slid across the floor, looking for my cell phone, but didn't see it in the place I had dropped it or anywhere around. Slowly, I climbed to my feet, hardly able to stand straight up due to the broken rib. Once I made it outside of the bedroom, all I saw was the back of DeMarcus' head as he pigged out in front of the TV on the dinner I had made.

  "Baby, grab me a beer out the fridge! I swear Dallas bet not lose this game," DeMarcus yelled without even turning to look at me.

  I nodded my head and moved into the kitchen where I grabbed a can of beer and a knife. I'd done nothing but love DeMarcus since the first day I laid eyes on him. I'd never touched another man nor had I ever even thought about it. I'd given him respect as a man, as my man, and all
I'd received in return was broken bones, black eyes, and swollen lips. This shit… I was sick of and couldn't take anymore.

  As I stood behind DeMarcus, I stared down at the top of his head and thought about what I was going to do. I'd never been one to hurt anyone, but the way I was feeling— battered, bruised, and broken… didn't he deserve the same kind of treatment?

  "Baby, you get my beer?" DeMarcus asked as he looked up at me.

  I brought the bottle down, smashing it over his head. He immediately brought his hands up to his face, stood up from the couch, and looked at me in disbelief. A slight grin spread across my face while I held my side from the awful pain.

  "Bitch, what the fuck is wrong with you?" DeMarcus asked as he climbed over the couch and came at me.

  Soon as he got within a couple of feet of me, I struck. I stabbed DeMarcus over and over again until the knife got jammed in his chest. He reached out at me, and I took a step back where I watched him collapse to the floor.

  *****

  I got out of my car, damn near stumbling to the ground. I could barely stand up straight, let alone walk to my destination. I pushed the car door closed with what little strength I had left and slowly moved towards Jahzara's house. I had no idea how I made it without killing someone or killing myself. My vision was blurred in my right eye, and I couldn't see anything out of my left eye. DeMarcus had really done a number on me this time, but, after tonight, I just knew that I would never have to worry about him touching me again.

  I crept up the porch and banged on Jahzara's door with all my might. I couldn't believe I'd just killed someone like it was nothing. I had stabbed DeMarcus over and over again and then left him to die without so much as feeling bad about it.

  The door slowly opened, and a dark-skinned guy that I'd never seen before stood in front of me. He scrunched his nose up at me and then looked out into the streets like he was expecting someone to pop up out of the bushes. I grasped a hold of my side, wincing at the crippling pain.

  "Is Jahzara home?" I asked breathlessly.

  The porch light came on, and Jahzara pulled the door wide open. The moment she saw me, her mouth dropped open in shocked.

  "I killed him, Jahzara. He's dead."

  49

  Jahzara

  7

  Jahzara

  Seeing Tomeka standing outside of my door half dead was not what I expected to see. I also didn't expect for her to pass out or for Imran and I to have to rush her to the hospital. We were in the middle of cutting up the last of the dope we had left, sharing a blunt, and getting to know each other better when she showed up out of the blue. All this talk she was doing about killing somebody before she damn near hit the pavement had me spooked.

  I knew that DeMarcus hit on her because I’d seen her with a few bruises across her face previously, but I'd never seen Tomeka this bad off. She was fucked up, and, if she had really killed him like she said— Hell!— he deserved it and more. I ran my fingers through Tomeka's hair and impatiently looked at the red light we had stopped at. I desperately wanted to get my girl to the emergency room and get her the help she needed. She was so messed up that I barely even noticed it was her.

  "Just run the damn light!" I yelled.

  Imran looked at me through the rearview mirror but didn't move or say anything. Finally, after a few more seconds, the light turned green, and we were back en route to the hospital. It took a little over ten minutes to get there, and, when we did, I didn't even wait for the car to come to a complete stop before I jumped out. I rushed through the hospital doors and stopped the first staff member I saw.

  "Excuse me! Ma'am, my friend has been beat up, and she fainted. She needs help." I pleaded for her attention. She looked at me and nodded her head before racing over to a desk where there were more hospital workers. Suddenly, several of them came running my way, and I could breathe a little easier. I followed them outside and watched as they pulled Tomeka out of the car and onto a gurney. I followed them back inside and was pointed in the direction of a lady holding some paperwork for me to fill out. She ushered me into the waiting area, and I sat down and took a few deep breaths before filling in all the blanks that I could.

  "She’s gonna be alright. Just chill out," Imran said as he approached me.

  I looked at him and couldn't help but crack a smile. He'd been so beneficial to me and my girl Honey over the past week, teaching us the ins and outs of the game and the dos and don'ts. There was some stuff that I knew from being around Quin whenever I was paying attention, but, mostly, there were a lot of lessons learned. The money wasn't extravagant just yet, but I had a feeling, if I got in good with Quin's connect, that it would get there. All I could say at that point was “Fuck Quin and his life”. That muthafucka had a real bitch out here holding him down, and he wanted to get rid of me the cowardly way. A letter and a package through the mail was what a punk ass nigga would do. Instead of waiting until his time was up and stepping to me like a real man, he had cowered down and turned into this lil' ass boy. It was all good though because, like I said before, I wasn't going back to my parents’ house for them to preach about all the bad decisions I’d made in my life. Nah, not happening. The only way I was returning there was when I was on top, driving a Benz, with a purse full of bands. If using Quin's shit and another man was what I needed to get me there, then so be it.

  "Yeah, I know that she will be okay, but I just can't believe he did her like that. Did you see her face?"

  "She was pretty messed up. I don't know who this cat is, but he needs to be dealt with by a real man," Imran said, sticking out his chest.

  I looked around before speaking. "She said she killed him. Didn't you hear her?"

  "Thought she was tripping. She looked out of it. You believe that shit?" Imran looked around and then took a seat beside me.

  I placed the pen on the clipboard and then shrugged my shoulders. Looking at Imran and into his eyes, I realized this was the closest I had been to him since the night I’d met him at Wet Dreams. We'd been working side by side for the past week, but I hadn't been close enough to feel the amount of electricity I was feeling now. The smell of Extra mint gum on his breath and his favorite Issey Miyake cologne had my pussy throbbing in my Dereon jeans. It had been a lil' over three years since I'd had any dick, and Imran was making that fact harder and harder to deal with. I had to get myself together because, although Quin wanted a divorce, we wasn't divorced yet.

  "I wanna go by there. If that muthafucka is dead, good for him. If not, I wanna beat his ass and make him wish he was dead for what he did to my girl," I said in a hushed tone.

  "Let's see how baby girl is doing, and we can most definitely run through there, but, first, we need to get back to your house and put that shit up."

  I nodded my head in agreement, forgetting that I’d left thousands of dollars worth of dope on my table. Once I completed the paperwork for Tomeka, we waited until someone updated us on her status. After about an hour’s wait, we received word that she had a broken rib, a damaged retina in her left eye, and some other bruises over her body that would heal over time. I visited with Tomeka for a few minutes and told her I was going to check on a few things before coming back to sit with her. Imran and I left the hospital and headed back to my house to put the stash away before going to check out things at Tomeka's place.

  *****

  "Oh, shit," I said, shaking my head at the red and blue lights that covered the parking lot of Tomeka's apartment complex.

  "Damn! Is that your girl’s spot?" Imran asked, looking around.

  "Yes, that's definitely her spot. Look at all these damn laws! Man, the whole place is on lock," I sighed.

  "Damn! Maybe she did kill that fool."

  Just as Imran said that an ambulance rode past us in the direction of the ten plus police cars that were all over the place. I shook my head and nodded for Imran to get out of there. DeMarcus just better be glad that Tomeka did his ass over and not me. I didn't like that hitting on a female sh
it and had been wanting to get at him for the longest but didn't want to step on my girl’s toes. After what I saw that night, I no longer cared, but it looked like I wasn't even gonna have to get my hands dirty.

  "So, you wanna get something to eat?" Imran asked as we drove through Oak Cliff.

  I sighed and slouched down into the peanut butter seats. "I don't wanna do anything but get back to the hospital with Tomeka. This shit is crazy."

  Imran placed his hand on my thigh, causing me to perk up and damn near jump out of the passenger seat. He quickly removed his hand and stared at the side of my face. I refused to look at him, mostly because I was embarrassed and mainly because of what his touch did to me. I felt myself getting moist in places that a married woman shouldn't be getting wet in, especially by a man that wasn't my husband.

  "My bad. Just trying to get you to calm down. She's gonna be good. The doctor said it. You saw it with your own eyes, so stop worrying. We haven't ate all day. I'm hungry, and I know you are, too."

  "Yeah, okay. Yeah, let’s get something to eat."

  Imran and I drove through the city until we came across Cheddars. We were miles away from home. I was really hoping that we went to McDonald’s and ate on the run. All this personal time around Imran was making me nervous and weak.

  *****

  Once inside of Cheddar's, the hostess seated us, handed us menus, and took our drink orders. I spent a lot of time staring at my menu, versus looking at Imran, or even trying to converse with him. My ass had never been scared of a man a day in my life, but— Damn!— this nigga here was doing something to me.

  "You gonna avoid me all night?" Imran nudged me with a light kick of his foot.

  "Nah, just got a lot on my mind." I shook my head and finally looked up at him. His smile was so gorgeous, the dimples— Damn!— just all of it. He wasn't your ordinary dope boy, rocking jewelry just so you knew he was paid or wearing the labels that most muthafuckas couldn't even pronounce. He was just natural with it. He was so normal that it didn't even make sense.