Lord Jim

by Joseph Conrad

  “‘Man overboard,’ said a deep voice behind me. Turning round, I saw a fellow I knew slightly, a West Australian; Chester was his name. He, too, had been looking after Jim. He was a man with an immense girth of chest, a rugged, clean-shaved face of mahogany colour, and two blunt tufts of iron-grey, thick, wiry hairs on his upper lip. He had been pearler, wrecker, trader, whaler too, I believe; in his own words—anything and everything a man may be at sea, but a pirate. The Pacific, north and south, was his proper hunting-ground; but he had wandered so far afield looking for a cheap steamer to buy. Lately he had discovered—so he said—a guano island somewhere, but its approaches were dangerous, and the anchorage, such as it was, could not be considered safe, to say the least of it. ‘As good as a gold-mine,’ he would exclaim. ‘Right bang in the middle of the Walpole Reefs,4 and if it's true enough that you can get no holding-ground anywhere in less than forty fathom, then what of that? There are the hurricanes, too. But it's a first-rate thing. As good as a gold-mine—better! Yet there's not a fool of them that will see it. I can't get a skipper or a shipowner to go near the place. So I made up my mind to cart the blessed stuff myself.’… This was what he required a steamer for, and I knew he was just then negotiating enthusiastically with a Parsee firm for an old, brig-rigged, sea-anachronism of ninety horse-power. We had met and spoken together several times. He looked knowingly after Jim. ‘Takes it to heart?’ he asked scornfully. ‘Very much,’ I said. ‘Then he's no good,’ he opined. ‘What's all the to-do about? A bit of ass's skin.5 That never yet made a man. You must see things exactly as they are—if you don't, you may just as well give in at once. You will never do anything in this world. Look at me. I made it a practice never to take anything to heart.’ ‘Yes,’ I said, ‘you see things as they are.’ ‘I wish I could see my partner coming along, that's what I wish to see,’ he said. ‘Know my partner? Old Robinson.6 Yes; the Robinson. Don't you know? The notorious Robinson. The man who smuggled more opium and bagged more seals in his time than any loose Johnny now alive. They say he used to board the sealing-schooners up Alaska way when the fog was so thick that the Lord God, He alone, could tell one man from another. Holy-Terror Robinson. That's the man. He is with me in that guano thing. The best chance he ever came across in his life.’ He put his lips to my ear. ‘Cannibal?—well, they used to give him the name years and years ago. You remember the story? A shipwreck7 on the west side of Stewart Island;8 that's right; seven of them got ashore, and it seems they did not get on very well together. Some men are too cantankerous for anything—don't know how to make the best of a bad job—don't see things as they are—as they are, my boy! And then what's the consequence? Obvious! Trouble, trouble; as likely as not a knock on the head; and serve 'em right too. That sort is the most useful when it's dead. The story goes that a boat of Her Majesty's ship Wolverine found him kneeling on the kelp, naked as the day he was born, and chanting some psalm-tune or other; light snow was falling at the time. He waited till the boat was an oar's length from the shore, and then up and away. They chased him for an hour up and down the boulders, till a marine flung a stone that took him behind the ear providentially and knocked him senseless. Alone? Of course. But that's like that tale of sealing-schooners; the Lord God knows the right and the wrong of that story. The cutter did not investigate much. They wrapped him in a boat-cloak and took him off as quick as they could, with a dark night coming on, the weather threatening, and the ship firing recall guns every five minutes. Three weeks afterwards he was as well as ever. He didn't allow any fuss that was made on shore to upset him; he just shut his lips tight, and let people screech. It was bad enough to have lost his ship, and all he was worth besides, without paying attention to the hard names they called him. That's the man for me.’ He lifted his arm for a signal to some one down the street. ‘He's got a little money, so I had to let him into my thing. Had to! It would have been sinful to throw away such a find, and I was cleaned out myself. It cut me to the quick, but I could see the matter just as it was, and if I must share—thinks I—with any man, then give me Robinson. I left him at breakfast in the hotel to come to court, because I've an idea…. Ah! Good morning, Captain Robinson…. Friend of mine, Captain Robinson.’

  “An emaciated patriarch in a suit of white drill, a solah topi with a green-lined rim on a head trembling with age, joined us after crossing the street in a trotting shuffle, and stood propped with both hands on the handle of an umbrella. A white beard with amber streaks hung lumpily down to his waist. He blinked his creased eyelids at me in a bewildered way. ‘How do you do? how do you do?’ he piped amiably, and tottered. ‘A little deaf,’ said Chester aside. ‘Did you drag him over six thousand miles to get a cheap steamer?’ I asked. ‘I would have taken him twice round the world as soon as look at him,’ said Chester with immense energy. ‘The steamer will be the making of us, my lad. Is it my fault that every skipper and shipowner in the whole of blessed Australasia turns out a blamed fool? Once I talked for three hours to a man in Auckland. “Send a ship,” I said, “send a ship. I'll give you half of the first cargo for yourself, free gratis for nothing—just to make a good start.” Says he, “I wouldn't do it if there was no other place on earth to send a ship to.” Perfect ass, of course. Rocks, currents, no anchorage, sheer cliff to lay to, no insurance company would take the risk, didn't see how he could get loaded under three years. Ass! I nearly went on my knees to him. “But look at the thing as it is,” says I. “Damn rocks and hurricanes. Look at it as it is. There's guano there, Queensland sugar-planters would fight for—fight for on the quay, I tell you.”… What can you do with a fool?… “That's one of your little jokes, Chester,” he says…. Joke! I could have wept. Ask Captain Robinson here…. And there was another shipowning fellow—a fat chap in a white waistcoat in Wellington, who seemed to think I was up to some swindle or other. “I don't know what sort of fool you're looking for,” he says, “but I am busy just now. Good morning.” I longed to take him in my two hands and smash him through the window of his own office. But I didn't. I was as mild as a curate. “Think of it,” says I. “Do think it over. I'll call to-morrow.” He grunted something about being “out all day.” On the stairs I felt ready to beat my head against the wall from vexation. Captain Robinson here can tell you. It was awful to think of all that lovely stuff lying waste under the sun—stuff that would send the sugar-cane shooting sky-high. The making of Queensland! The making of Queensland! And in Brisbane, where I went to have a last try, they gave me the name of9 a lunatic. Idiots! The only sensible man I came across was the cabman who drove me about. A broken-down swell he was, I fancy. Hey! Captain Robinson? You remember I told you about my cabby in Brisbane—don't you? The chap had a wonderful eye for things. He saw it all in a jiffy. It was a real pleasure to talk with him. One evening after a devil of a day amongst shipowners I felt so bad that, says I, “I must get drunk. Come along; I must get drunk, or I'll go mad.” “I am your man,” he says; “go ahead.” I don't know what I would have done without him. Hey! Captain Robinson.’

  “He poked the ribs of his partner. ‘He! he! he!’ laughed the Ancient, looked aimlessly down the street, then peered at me doubtfully with sad, dim pupils…. ‘He! he! he!’… He leaned heavier on the umbrella, and dropped his gaze on the ground. I needn't tell you I had tried to get away several times, but Chester had foiled every attempt by simply catching hold of my coat. ‘One minute. I've a notion.’ ‘What's your infernal notion?’ I exploded at last. ‘If you think I am going in with you…’ ‘No, no, my boy. Too late, if you wanted ever so much. We've got a steamer.’ ‘You've got the ghost of a steamer,’ I said. ‘Good enough for a start—there's no superior nonsense about us. Is there, Captain Robinson?’ ‘No! no! no!’ croaked the old man without lifting his eyes, and the senile tremble of his head became almost fierce with determination. ‘I understand you know that young chap,’ said Chester, with a nod at the street from which Jim had disappeared long ago. ‘He's been having grub with you in the Malabar last night—so I was
told.’

  “I said that was true, and after remarking that he too liked to live well and in style, only that, for the present, he had to be saving of every penny—‘none too many for the business! Isn't that so, Captain Robinson?’—he squared his shoulders and stroked his dumpy moustache, while the notorious Robinson, coughing at his side, clung more than ever to the handle of the umbrella, and seemed ready to subside passively into a heap of old bones. ‘You see, the old chap has all the money,’ whispered Chester confidentially. ‘I've been cleaned out trying to engineer the dratted thing. But wait a bit, wait a bit. The good time is coming.’… He seemed suddenly astonished at the signs of impatience I gave. ‘Oh, crakee!’10 he cried; ‘I am telling you of the biggest thing that ever was, and you…’ ‘I have an appointment,’ I pleaded mildly. ‘What of that?’ he asked with genuine surprise; ‘let it wait.’ ‘That's exactly what I am doing now,’ I remarked; ‘hadn't you better tell me what it is you want?’ ‘Buy twenty hotels like that,’ he growled to himself; ‘and every joker boarding in them too—twenty times over.’ He lifted his head smartly. ‘I want that young chap.’ ‘I don't understand,’ I said. ‘He's no good, is he?’ said Chester crisply. ‘I know nothing about it,’ I protested. ‘Why, you told me yourself he was taking it to heart,’ argued Chester. ‘Well, in my opinion a chap who… Anyhow, he can't be much good; but then you see I am on the look-out for somebody, and I've just got a thing that will suit him. I'll give him a job on my island.’ He nodded significantly. ‘I'm going to dump forty coolies there—if I've to steal 'em. Somebody must work the stuff. Oh! I mean to act square: wooden shed, corrugated-iron roof—I know a man in Hobart11 who will take my bill at six months for the materials. I do. Honour bright.12 Then there's the water-supply. I'll have to fly round and get somebody to trust me for half-a-dozen second-hand iron tanks. Catch rain-water, hey? Let him take charge. Make him supreme boss over the coolies. Good idea, isn't it? What do you say?’ ‘There are whole years when not a drop of rain falls on Walpole,’ I said, too amazed to laugh. He bit his lip and seemed bothered. ‘Oh, well, I will fix up something for them—or land a supply. Hang it all! That's not the question.’

  “I said nothing. I had a rapid vision of Jim perched on a shadowless rock, up to his knees in guano, with the screams of sea-birds in his ears, the incandescent ball of the sun above his head; the empty sky and the empty ocean all a-quiver, simmering together in the heat as far as the eye could reach. ‘I wouldn't advise my worst enemy…’ I began. ‘What's the matter with you?’ cried Chester; ‘I mean to give him a good screw13—that is, as soon as the thing is set going, of course. It's as easy as falling off a log. Simply nothing to do; two six-shooters in his belt… Surely he wouldn't be afraid of anything forty coolies could do—with two six-shooters and he the only armed man too! It's much better than it looks. I want you to help me to talk him over.’ ‘No!’ I shouted. Old Robinson lifted his bleared eyes dismally for a moment, Chester looked at me with infinite contempt. ‘So you wouldn't advise him?’ he uttered slowly. ‘Certainly not,’ I answered, as indignant as though he had requested me to help murder somebody; ‘moreover, I am sure he wouldn't. He is badly cut up, but he isn't mad as far as I know.’ ‘He is no earthly good for anything,’ Chester mused aloud. ‘He would just have done for me. If you only could see a thing as it is, you would see it's the very thing for him. And besides… Why! it's the most splendid, sure chance…’ He got angry suddenly. ‘I must have a man. There!…’ He stamped his foot and smiled unpleasantly. ‘Anyhow, I could guarantee the island wouldn't sink under him—and I believe he is a bit particular on that point.’ ‘Good morning,’ I said curtly. He looked at me as though I had been an incomprehensible fool…. ‘Must be moving, Captain Robinson,’ he yelled suddenly into the old man's ear. ‘These Parsee Johnnies are waiting for us to clinch the bargain.’ He took his partner under the arm with a firm grip, swung him round, and, unexpectedly, leered at me over his shoulder. ‘I was trying to do him a kindness,’ he asserted, with an air and tone that made my blood boil. ‘Thank you for nothing—in his name,’ I rejoined. ‘Oh! you are devilish smart,’ he sneered; ‘but you are like the rest of them. Too much in the clouds. See what you will do with him.’ ‘I don't know that I want to do anything with him.’ ‘Don't you?’ he spluttered; his grey moustache bristled with anger, and by his side the notorious Robinson, propped on the umbrella, stood with his back to me, as patient and still as a worn-out cab-horse. ‘I haven't found a guano island,’ I said. ‘It's my belief you wouldn't know one if you were led right up to it by the hand,’ he riposted quickly; ‘and in this world you've got to see a thing first, before you can make use of it. Got to see it through and through at that, neither more nor less.’ ‘And get others to see it too,’ I insinuated, with a glance at the bowed back by his side. Chester snorted at me. ‘His eyes are right enough—don't you worry. He ain't a puppy.’ ‘Oh dear, no!’ I said. ‘Come along, Captain Robinson,’ he shouted, with a sort of bullying deference under the rim of the old man's hat; the Holy Terror gave a submissive little jump. The ghost of a steamer was waiting for them, Fortune on that fair isle! They made a curious pair of Argonauts.14 Chester strode on leisurely, well set up, portly, and of conquering mien; the other, long, wasted, drooping, and hooked to his arm, shuffled his withered shanks with desperate haste.”

  XV

  “I did not start in search of Jim at once, only because I had really an appointment which I could not neglect. Then, as ill-luck would have it, in my agent's office I was fastened upon by a fellow fresh from Madagascar with a little scheme for a wonderful piece of business. It had something to do with cattle and cartridges and a Prince Ravonalo something;1 but the pivot of the whole affair was the stupidity of some admiral—Admiral Pierre,2 I think. Everything turned on that, and the chap couldn't find words strong enough to express his confidence. He had globular eyes starting out of his head with a fishy glitter, bumps on his forehead, and wore his long hair brushed back without a parting. He had a favourite phrase which he kept on repeating triumphantly, ‘The minimum of risk with the maximum of profit is my motto. What?’ He made my head ache, spoiled my tiffin, but got his own out of me all right; and as soon as I had shaken him off, I made straight for the waterside. I caught sight of Jim leaning over the parapet of the quay. Three native boatmen quarrelling over five annas3 were making an awful row at his elbow. He didn't hear me come up, but spun round as if the slight contact of my finger had released a catch. ‘I was looking,’ he stammered. I don't remember what I said, not much anyhow, but he made no difficulty in following me to the hotel.

  “He followed me as manageable as a little child, with an obedient air, with no sort of manifestation, rather as though he had been waiting for me there to come along and carry him off. I need not have been so surprised as I was at his tractability. On all the round earth, which to some seems so big and that others affect to consider as rather smaller than a mustard-seed,4 he had no place where he could—what shall I say?—where he could withdraw. That's it! Withdraw—be alone with his loneliness. He walked by my side very calm, glancing here and there, and once turned his head to look after a Sidiboy fireman5 in a cutaway coat and yellowish trousers, whose black face had silky gleams like a lump of anthracite coal. I doubt, however, whether he saw anything, or even remained all the time aware of my companionship, because if I had not edged him to the left here, or pulled him to the right there, I believe he would have gone straight before him in any direction till stopped by a wall or some other obstacle. I steered him into my bedroom, and sat down at once to write letters. This was the only place in the world (unless, perhaps, the Walpole Reef—but that was not so handy) where he could have it out with himself without being bothered by the rest of the universe. The damned thing—as he had expressed it—had not made him invisible, but I behaved exactly as though he were. No sooner in my chair I bent over my writing-desk like a medieval scribe, and, but for the movement of the hand holding the pen, remained anxiously quiet.
I can't say I was frightened; but I certainly kept as still as if there had been something dangerous in the room, that at the first hint of a movement on my part would be provoked to pounce upon me. There was not much in the room—you know how these bedrooms are—a sort of four-poster bedstead under a mosquito-net, two or three chairs, the table I was writing at, a bare floor. A glass door opened on an upstairs verandah, and he stood with his face to it, having a hard time with all possible privacy. Dusk fell; I lit a candle with the greatest economy of movement and as much prudence as though it were an illegal proceeding. There is no doubt that he had a very hard time of it, and so had I, even to the point, I must own, of wishing him to the devil, or on Walpole Reef at least. It occurred to me once or twice that, after all, Chester was, perhaps, the man to deal effectively with such a disaster. That strange idealist had found a practical use for it at once—unerringly, as it were. It was enough to make one suspect that, maybe, he really could see the true aspect of things that appeared mysterious or utterly hopeless to less imaginative persons. I wrote and wrote; I liquidated all the arrears of my correspondence, and then went on writing to people who had no reason whatever to expect from me a gossipy letter about nothing at all. At times I stole a sidelong glance. He was rooted to the spot, but convulsive shudders ran down his back; his shoulders would heave suddenly. He was fighting, he was fighting—mostly for his breath, as it seemed. The massive shadows, cast all one way from the straight flame of the candle, seemed possessed of gloomy consciousness; the immobility of the furniture had to my furtive eye an air of attention. I was becoming fanciful in the midst of my industrious scribbling; and though, when the scratching of my pen stopped for a moment, there was complete silence and stillness in the room, I suffered from that profound disturbance and confusion of thought which is caused by a violent and menacing uproar—of a heavy gale at sea, for instance. Some of you may know what I mean—that mingled anxiety, distress, and irritation with a sort of craven feeling creeping in—not pleasant to acknowledge, but which gives a quite special merit to one's endurance. I don't claim any merit for standing the stress of Jim's emotions; I could take refuge in the letters; I could have written to strangers if necessary. Suddenly, as I was taking up a fresh sheet of notepaper, I heard a low sound, the first sound that, since we had been shut up together, had come to my ears in the dim stillness of the room. I remained with my head down, with my hand arrested. Those who had kept vigil by a sick-bed have heard such faint sounds in the stillness of the night watches, sounds wrung from a racked body, from a weary soul. He pushed the glass door with such force that all the panes rang: he stepped out, and I held my breath, straining my ears without knowing what else I expected to hear. He was really taking too much to heart an empty formality which to Chester's rigorous criticism seemed unworthy the notice of a man who could see things as they were. An empty formality; a piece of parchment. Well, well. As to an inaccessible guano deposit, that was another story altogether. One could intelligibly break one's heart over that. A feeble burst of many voices mingled with the tinkle of silver and glass floated up from the dining-room below; through the open door the outer edge of the light from my candle fell on his back faintly; beyond all was black; he stood on the brink of a vast obscurity, like a lonely figure by the shore of a sombre and hopeless ocean. There was the Walpole Reef in it—to be sure—a speck in the dark void, a straw for the drowning man. My compassion for him took the shape of the thought that I wouldn't have liked his people to see him at that moment. I found it trying myself. His back was no longer shaken by his gasps; he stood straight as an arrow, faintly visible and still; and the meaning of this stillness sank to the bottom of my soul like lead into the water, and made it so heavy that for a second I wished heartily that the only course left open for me were to pay for his funeral. Even the law had done with him. To bury him would have been such an easy kindness! It would have been so much in accordance with the wisdom of life, which consists in putting out of sight all the reminders of our folly, of our weakness, of our mortality; all that makes against our efficiency—the memory of our failures, the hints of our undying fears, the bodies of our dead friends. Perhaps he did take it too much to heart. And if so then—Chester's offer…. At this point I took up a fresh sheet and began to write resolutely. There was nothing but myself between him and the dark ocean. I had a sense of responsibility. If I spoke, would that motionless and suffering youth leap into the obscurity—clutch at the straw? I found out how difficult it may be sometimes to make a sound. There is a weird power in a spoken word. And why the devil not? I was asking myself persistently while I drove on with my writing. All at once, on the blank page, under the very point of the pen, the two figures of Chester and his antique partner, very distinct and complete, would dodge into view with stride and gestures, as if reproduced in the field of some optical toy. I would watch them for a while. No! They were too fantasmal and extravagant to enter into any one's fate. And a word carries far—very far—deals destruction through time as the bullets go flying through space. I said nothing; and he, out there with his back to the light, as if bound and gagged by all the invisible foes of man, made no stir and made no sound.”