Kind of Like Life

by McMullen, Christina

  The store was only a mile from the house, but Renee was extra careful because she knew that the traffic would be bad and nearly every other driver would be stressed out from last minute holiday shopping. They were only one block from the store when the accident happened. The light turned green and Renee hit the gas, but she didn’t see the green SUV speeding at her until it was too late. It struck the front of the driver’s side, pushing their car off the road. She remembered screaming as the engine block was pushed forward, trapping her legs. She remembered the sound of the explosion as the SUV burst into flames, but nothing more.

  Blake had been telling the truth. How she had managed to block the memory was just as much a mystery as how she had survived the accident. If she had in fact survived. Maybe she was dead and this was some sort of trial that she had to pass to move on to the afterlife. Either way, she was at a loss as to what to do next. If she really was in a coma, like Blake had said, she wondered if there was a way to wake herself up. She tried pinching herself. All that did was leave an angry red mark on her arm. She stood up and walked back in the direction she had come from. She didn’t dare try to go to school on Monday, but her house would still be safe. At least, she hoped it would be.

  Renee entered the forest, noting that the trees were now mostly oaks, maples, and sycamores. It made sense, in a way. Now that she was aware of the fact that the redwoods didn’t belong, her mind had subconsciously corrected the error. She wasn’t even sure if the current trees were correct, but she didn’t care. They were close enough. She wondered exactly how much control she had over her environment. Was it possible to go somewhere else entirely? She was about to try when three figures emerged from the shadows ahead.

  “Did Little Red Riding Retard get lost on the way to grandma’s house?”

  It figured. Considering how awful everything else had been so far today, Renee should have expected she would have a run in with Macey, Lacey, and Casey. She stopped, crossed her arms in front of her, and glared at them.

  “You aren’t real,” she said. “None of you. You’re just a manifestation of my own fears and insecurities. Go away.”

  Despite the confidence behind her words, the girls remained. Worse, in unison, they took a menacing step closer. Renee pulled from deep inside herself and willed the girls to stop, but they kept coming. Of course, she should have realized that the powers she had acquired would no longer work now that she knew she never really had them in the first place.

  “Better be careful,” Macey threatened. Renee noticed that her eyes began to glow with an unnatural shade of blue. “You might just run into the big bad wolf.”

  Suddenly, all three girls began to twist and shift. It didn’t take a leap in logic for Renee to realize what was happening. As the girls turned into wolves, Renee concentrated hard on conjuring a weapon. With a surprised start, she felt the butt of a pistol in her hand and raised it in front of her. She pulled the trigger, but nothing happened.

  “Safety,” she muttered, looking for some sort of switch or catch that would unlock the trigger. Before Blake had shown up, Renee had never seen a gun. It figured that now, in a critical moment, her mind would get bogged down with technicalities.

  The wolf in front, Macey, she supposed, let out a snarl and stamped at the ground. Renee stopped fiddling with the gun and threw it at the wolf before turning and running as fast as she could. How long would it be before they over took her? If wolves could run faster than humans, then werewolves could probably run faster than that.

  “Why did you just think that?” she yelled at herself, realizing what she had done. Already, she could feel their hot, damp breath at her back. “Think, dammit! Think!”

  Up ahead, she saw a low hanging branch and jumped, scrambling up the trunk of the tree until she could climb no further.

  “Ha!” she yelled down at the she-wolves circling below. “Wolves can’t climb trees!”

  She settled herself as comfortably as she could and caught her breath. She might have outsmarted the girls, but now she was stuck up a tree until they got bored or hungry and left. Renee just hoped that would be sooner rather than later.

  Chapter 8

  Blake was on the train to Moscow when the door reappeared, taking him by surprise. He had only just left Renee a mere twelve hours ago. Even if she hadn’t been careful, it usually took the doctors several weeks to clear the body and find another victim. No, it was very unlikely that he would find anyone besides Renee on the other side of that door. He’d had a feeling something was different this time around and he had to admit, he was curious, but he wasn’t sure if he was curious enough to risk his own life. Not that it was much of a life, but as far as Blake was concerned, it beat the alternative.

  Renee shifted to a more comfortable position on her tree branch. A half hour had passed and it was pretty obvious that the wolves didn’t have anything better to do than to circle the tree and snarl up at her.

  “I need a weapon,” she muttered. Silver bullets, of course, were the most effective weapon against werewolves, but she had already determined that her lack of practical knowledge about guns rendered that solution impossible. The only gun she had ever wielded was a squirt gun.

  “That’s it!” she shouted and cackled maniacally, mentally patting herself on the back for the rare moment of ingenuity. She closed her eyes and concentrated on her weapon. A few seconds later, a Super Soaker water gun materialized in her hands, a bazooka style with two liter-sized water tanks. Flattening herself against the branch, Renee took aim at the closest wolf, noting with an uncharacteristic sense of vindictiveness that it was Macey.

  She squeezed the trigger and watched in horrified fascination as the jet hit the wolf right between the eyes. At first, it didn’t look as if it had done anything other than make her angry, but seconds later, the wolf let out a terrifying howl and acrid smoke filled the air. Renee held her breath and turned away from the noxious cloud. When the smoke cleared, she looked down and grimaced in revulsion. All that was left of the wolf was a still smoldering pile of ash.

  “She wasn’t real,” Renee told herself as the horrifying fact that she had just killed another human being twisted her insides into knots. “This is all in your head, Renee. Get a grip.”

  With their leader dead, the other two wolves were momentarily confused as to what their next move would be. Typical, Renee thought with a roll of her eyes. She hoped that they would take it as a warning and run off, but it didn’t look like that was going to happen. When their confusion wore off, they both began jumping at the tree trunk and snapping their jaws at Renee’s dangling legs.

  “I gave you a chance to think for yourselves for once in your life,” Renee shouted down at the girls, pumping the water gun’s action to re-pressurize the tanks. “Do you really want to die a cheap stereotype?”

  Whether they couldn’t understand her while in wolf form, or they really were simple, one-dimensional villains of her own creation, her words had no effect. With a deep, steadying breath, she took aim and fired, turning both of the remaining wolves into a pile of ashes, just like their leader.

  As Blake stepped into the forest, he knew immediately that he was back in Renee’s head, but what he saw confused him. The trees, which had previously been towering sequoias, were all common varieties that were more likely to be found along the east coast. He had, of course, been the one to point this design flaw out to Renee, but the fact that she had the ability to change her surroundings meant that she was operating on a conscious level that was near, if not the same as his.

  It didn’t take him long to find Renee. Even if he didn’t have the advantage of his mental link, it would have been hard to miss the three giant wolves who were methodically circling one particular tree. Blake pulled out his gun, but hesitated. Given that this was Renee’s reality, it was highly unlikely that their size was the only thing off about the creatures. He holstered the Walther PPK and recalled what he knew about werewolves. He reached once again for his holster and withdrew a
heavy revolver made of brass and wood. The stock was carved with ornate religious symbols and biblical passages, but Blake didn’t have time to admire the care with which it was made.

  After checking to make sure the chamber was loaded with silver bullets, he lifted the pistol, but dropped it back to his side just as quickly. What he saw baffled him. Out of nowhere, Renee had conjured up a water gun and somehow managed to mow down the leader with nothing more than a blast of water. A few minutes later, all of the wolves were dead. She tossed the gun to the ground and climbed down the tree. As she started to walk away, she turned back and considered the Super Soaker for a minute. With a shrug, she picked it up, deciding it might still be useful.

  “What was in that, holy water?” Blake called out, not wanting to startle Renee by sneaking up on her.

  “Colloidal silver,” she muttered, checking the gun’s reserve tank, which was about half full. “I wasn’t sure if holy water would work.” She looked up at Blake, noting his fur hat and wool coat, which were at odds with the mild weather. “And people think I dress weird.”

  “For an English spy trying to avoid the KGB in Soviet Russia, this is perfectly acceptable attire,” he said defensively. “And you don’t dress weird,” he added hastily. “Just… uniquely.”

  “Last night you were a cowboy,” Renee reminded him warily.

  “Prospector,” he corrected with a wink, “and part-time outlaw, I guess. But that was last night. Things change.”

  To emphasize his point, he walked behind a tree. When he emerged on the other side, he was wearing contemporary clothing. Jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt, to be exact. He could have been any other boy at her school. He looked up at the trees overhead and back at Renee.

  “Looks like things change around here as well.”

  “You were right,” Renee mumbled, tossing the water gun aside with a sigh. “About the accident, that is. I don’t know what’s going on. It’s like I woke up in an alternate universe where I can’t do nothing right.” She put her hands over her face and made a frustrated sound. “Ugh! Anything, I can’t do anything right. See? I can’t even speak proper English anymore!”

  “Ain’t nothing wrong with the way you said it the first time,” Blake replied with a country twang and a lopsided smile. It was meant as a joke to lighten the moment, but Renee just stared at him with a humorless scowl. “Sorry,” he said sheepishly. “I can imagine you’re probably freaking out right now. I just wish I had an explanation, but honestly, I didn’t expect to see you again.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “It’s pretty complicated,” Blake replied, looking around. “I’ll try to explain everything I know, but we should probably get out of here. Staying in one place is a good way to get caught.”

  “Fine, we’ll walk, you talk,” Renee grumbled and headed back through the woods in the direction of her house. “And who is going to catch us? I thought you said this is all in my head?”

  “That’s the complicated part,” Blake said, blowing his hair up off of his forehead. “We’re unwilling participants in some deranged doctor’s science experiment. The point is to see if it’s possible to kill someone with their own mind. Well, that was the point. I think I’m being used for another experiment.”

  “That’s ridiculous!” Renee said with a snort.

  “Is it?” Blake asked. “Think of your brain as a computer. If something short circuits or gets wired wrong on a computer, it can fry the whole thing.”

  “Okay, fine. I mean, sure, people drop dead for all kinds of reasons, but how does that explain all of this?” Renee threw out her hands, indicating the forest they were walking through.

  “From what I’ve managed to piece together, we’re hooked up to some machine that messes with the part of the brain that differentiates between dreams and reality. Waterside was a manifestation of your ideal utopia. When I ‘woke up,’ I was in a similar situation. I thought I had gone to live with my grandparents in Piper’s Bend, Washington. For a few days, my life was perfect, but then everything went south, just like it did for you. The only difference was that I had the advantage of knowing that something was off. But even still, I chose to ignore that at first because my life was suddenly a lot better than it had been.”

  Something in the way he delivered the last line made Renee realize there was a deeper meaning, but she didn’t pry. She had her own reasons for wanting Waterside to be real and she wasn’t about to admit them. Still, she wasn’t sure what she believed.

  “So, what then?” she asked. “I mean, yeah, things were perfect for a week, but then all of the sudden everyone went crazy. I mean, crazier than they already were going right before you showed up. How?”

  “That was kind of the point,” Blake replied. “We were lulled into a false sense of security and we let down our mental guard. What happened next, I think, is that whatever we’re hooked up to dug deep into our subconscious and started throwing our worst fears at us. But unlike a nightmare, if you had died last night, you would have died for real. The same thing happened to me. My grandparents have boats and my deepest fear was always drowning. Suddenly, every time I got on a boat, I nearly drowned. I would have, if I didn’t know what was happening. That’s when I started taking control. I managed to shift my environments. It took a while to figure it out, but eventually I realized that the best way to stay alive was to put myself into situations that would normally be dangerous.”

  “Like Soviet Russia?”

  “Exactly. Any place where I’d constantly be on alert. Get too comfortable and you let your guard down. That’s when they get you.”

  Renee stopped walking and narrowed her eyes at Blake. “I’m not saying I don’t believe you. Honestly, right now, I’m not sure what I do and do not believe. But you said you had the advantage of knowing what was happening. How? I didn’t even remember the car crash correctly until you triggered the memory. And even after that, the last thing I remember is the car catching fire and my mom yelling that I was still inside.”

  Her question had been inevitable, but it made Blake uncomfortable nonetheless. For a moment, it appeared to Renee as if he was going to avoid answering her. He stared down at his feet, absentmindedly switching his Chuck Taylors for a pair of practical hiking boots. When he looked up again, his normally big, blue-gray eyes were shadowed with a haunted expression.

  “When I was sixteen, I was beat up. Not like, I got in a fight at school or anything. I was beat almost to death by a grown man,” he explained in a carefully measured voice. “Apparently, I was unresponsive when I was brought to the hospital. The doctors said I had very little brain activity and that I wouldn’t likely make it out of the coma. Except, that’s where they were wrong. I was unresponsive, but I wasn’t a vegetable. I… I was conscious. I was completely aware of everything that was happening. But I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t move. I had no way of letting them know that I was still alive.”

  “I’m sorry,” Renee said quietly. “That sounds really scary.” She had heard about people who had been in similar situations, but in the back of her mind, she had always hoped those stories were fake. She couldn’t imagine how terrifying that must have been.

  “Yeah, it was,” Blake replied with a shudder. “The whole situation freaked me out. The worst part was listening to my mother tell me goodbye. The doctors had convinced her that I was brain dead and asked if she’d be willing to donate my body to science. The way they worded it made it sound like they were going to donate my organs and save lives. My mom, she…” His voice faltered and he swallowed before continuing. “I’m sure she thought she was doing the right thing. She had no idea she was being lied to and...” He broke off again and Renee saw the dark look he tried to hide as he turned his head from her. “Anyway, it was horrible. The whole time they were talking, I kept trying to signal that I was still there. You know, like in movies when someone in a coma suddenly blinks, or twitches, or does something to let the doctors know they’re still aware. But it didn’t happ
en.”

  “I’m… I’m sorry you had to experience that,” Renee said in a choked whisper. What Blake was describing sounded like a nightmare come true. She wondered if it had been the same for her parents. If they too had to say their final goodbyes, not knowing that she was still alive. She tried to push the thought out of her head, but found it difficult.

  “Don’t be,” he said quietly. “Like I said, that’s the only reason I’m alive right now.”

  “What do you mean?” Renee asked, quickening her steps to catch up. She hadn’t realized that Blake had started walking again, as if he could put physical distance between himself and his memories.

  “After everyone left, the doctors came back to retrieve my body. Since they had no idea I could hear them, they were discussing the project openly. They were even taking bets on how long it would take to kill me,” he said with a bitter laugh. “They gave me a week. That was two years ago.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Yeah,” said Blake, nodding his head. “As far as I know, I’m the only one who has lasted this long. There may be others, but of those I’ve been connected to, no one lived longer than…”

  He trailed off, noticing that their environment had changed dramatically. They were still in a forest, but instead of maples, oaks, and other distinguishable flora, they were surrounded by exotic plants that Blake had never seen before. All of the colors seemed more vivid. Vines curled in intricate patterns over tree branches and sunlight sparkled from the fine mist of dew that seemed to cover every available surface.

  “Um, what just happened?”

  “It worked,” Renee said with a pleased smile. “You said the only way to stay safe was to keep changing your environment, so I decided to give it a try.”