Long Way Home

by Neve Cottrell

  “I guess this is the surprise, then.” She heard him rifling through his bag and moving around the gym. Each sound echoed throughout the empty room. “Sounds like it’s all under masterful control.”

  “Ah, that’s the beauty of the blindfold. I look better and sound more organized.”

  “Christ, Barnes. Are you building me the Tower of Babel because need I remind you that God didn’t love that token of affection so much?”

  “Hey, cut me some slack. I’m trying to do something special before you disappear again.”

  Alexis stiffened. “I’m not a rabbit in a hat.”

  “Just keep those pretty peepers covered for one more minute while I finish setting up.” He pulled down the large screen behind the basketball backboard and returned to remove her blindfold. “Ta da.”

  Alexis surveyed the scene. A laptop, a projector, and a large screen were now in view. “So what’s playing tonight? Say Anything? Will you be whipping out your boom box at any moment?”

  “Steady now. There will be no whipping out of anything…unless you want me to.” Tyler wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

  Alexis shot him a warning glance.

  “As I suspected. Anyway, times they have a’changed.”

  Tyler flashed his iPhone. Then he picked up another remote control device. He clicked it and the screen was filled with an image of Alexis. Her high school yearbook photo. Alexis’s eyes widened in amazement. Quickly, she covered them.

  “Oh my God, are you insane? That photo is hard enough to take when it’s two by three inches.”

  Tyler laughed, enjoying her discomfort. He clicked again and then played his iPhone. “Now pipe down and enjoy the show. It’s the director’s cut, complete with musical commentary.”

  Alexis recognized one of Tyler’s songs, Goodbye Girl, as his melodic voice filled the air. The images were all of Alexis. Baby Alexis. Alexis and Betsy at the park. Alexis and her family at the beach. She wore a huge smile in every photo.

  “I am going to assume you had some help with this or you have scary skills I would rather not know about.”

  Tyler expressed an inch with his fingers. Maybe a bit of help.

  The photos moved to Alexis in high school. Alexis running a yearbook committee meeting. Alexis on the soccer field, even one where she’d posed with Paige and two other girls. Alexis on the front steps of school, writing in a red notebook. When a more recent photo flashed onscreen of a professional-looking Alexis, she shot him a quizzical look.

  Tyler shrugged. “Your LinkedIn profile shot.”

  The film finished with a photo of Alexis’s head superimposed on King Kong’s body at the top of the Empire State Building. Without waiting for her disapproving look, Tyler offered, “Your Facebook profile shot.”

  She crossed her arms and eyed him suspiciously. “You know I’m not on Facebook.”

  The music faded. Alexis remained fixed on the screen, her mind flooded with all the old images. Tyler turned off the projector and patiently awaited a response.

  Emotions flowed through her. “When did you have time for this?” she asked in a small voice.

  “You make time for the things you love,” he said. Slowly, he traced her jawline with his finger. “And the people.”

  She gazed up at him, her hazel eyes shining with tears. “Did you write Goodbye Girl about me?”

  He nodded. “Years ago. And Mermaid’s Kiss. You inspired a lot of my music.”

  She shook her head in disbelief. “But why me? You didn’t know me, not really. What if you only love some high school boy’s idea of me?”

  He sat down beside her and cupped her chin in his hand. “I am in love with you, Alexis MacAdams, the woman with a hard shell exterior, but a soft, gooey center.”

  “So, basically, you think I’m a Cadbury egg,” she remarked, managing a smile.

  “I do love chocolate.”

  After a brief moment of silence, Alexis decided to take the plunge. Tyler deserved to know the truth and she was ready to tell him.

  “I told you I was married,” she said and inhaled deeply. “What I didn’t tell you, what I couldn’t bring myself to say, is that he died.”

  She stared at the floor as the entire story tumbled out. Mark’s accident on their anniversary, her miscarriages, her inability to make the people in her life a priority. She didn’t sob this time, the way she had when she told her mother. This time she felt more nervous than sad, worried what Tyler would think of her. When she finally gathered the courage to look at him, she saw only concern and sadness reflected in his azure eyes.

  He squeezed her hand. “I’m glad you told me. I’m sorry you had to go through all that. Nobody deserves that kind of pain.”

  “But don’t you see? I do deserve it. I was a horrible, selfish person and everyone around me suffered as a result. Mark never got to be a father because of me and he certainly didn’t get the devoted wife he deserved.”

  “Doesn’t sound that way to me,” Tyler said softly. “Sounds like he knew exactly who he married and loved her very much.”

  “I couldn’t even keep his baby,” she whispered. “I had a chance to bring a piece of Mark into this world after he died and I couldn’t hold on to it. I’m like a black hole.”

  Tyler wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. “You have a beautiful, shining soul, Alexis.” He kissed her forehead. “And you didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “I feel like I’ve failed everyone who’s ever cared about me.”

  “You haven’t failed me.”

  He kneeled down in front of her and stroked her cheek, their eyes still on each other. Alexis sat perfectly still, despite the heat radiating from her core. She knew he tasted of salt water and sunshine and she longed to taste him again. Her memory of Mark, however, kept her rooted firmly in place. Alexis didn’t want to betray her husband. Her brain told her that she was ridiculous, that Mark would want her to be happy. Her heart, however, beat with caution. As it had taken the brunt of her pain, it seemed uneasy about forming new attachments. On the other hand, she’d found the strength to tell Tyler the truth and he hadn’t rejected her. Tyler had described himself as a patient man, and Alexis was starting to believe him.

  “You’re too good for me, Tyler Barnes,” she said.

  “I’d like to hear more about Mark, one day when you feel ready,” he told her. “Sounds like a good guy. Smart enough to fall in love with you, anyway.”

  Grateful tears streamed down her cheeks, but she made no attempt to hide them. Tyler reached over and gently wiped one away. She rested her forehead on his, relieved that she kept her secrets no more.

  “It’s almost a new year, Alexis. Let it be a fresh start.”

  “Thank you, Tyler,” she croaked. “I will try.”

  “I just want you to remember who you were. Who you still are.”

  Almost inaudibly she said, “I remember.”

  “I do have one more token of affection,” he said, leaning down to retrieve something from his bag. “And now it seems even more appropriate.”

  He produced a tall box wrapped in silver paper with a single red ribbon threaded around it. “Merry Christmas, Alexis.”

  Alexis stared at the gift, dumbfounded. “You bought me a present?”

  “It is Christmas Eve and I’ve brought you back to high school. I owe you something for that, right?” He winked and held out the box.

  As she reached out to accept it, she realized her hands were shaking. “Tyler, I’m touched and completely mortified. I didn’t get you anything.”

  “You’re with me tonight. That’s all I wanted.”

  Alexis carefully undid the paper and ribbon so as not to rip it. The box was plain white with no hint as to its contents. She opened the lid of the box and saw the unmistakable top of a champagne bottle.

  “Tyler! Dom Perignon,” she said, pulling out the elegant bottle. “You shouldn’t have spent so much.”

  “Okay, before you feel too guilty, let’s not f
orget I have connections. I don’t exactly pay full price, if that helps.”

  “Should I open it now?”

  He placed a hand over the top and shook his head. “Absolutely not. This is for your future.” She gave him a quizzical look and he continued. “As much as I like that you don’t indulge in overcomplicated cocktails, my Christmas wish is to see you branch out from the whiskey. You know who drinks whiskey in regular rotation? Sad people. Believe me, I’ve tended enough bar to know it’s a fact. And I don’t want you to be sad anymore, Alexis. I want to see you drinking champagne and laughing when the fizz hits your nose.”

  Alexis hugged the bottle of champagne to her body. “Thank you, Tyler. You seem to know what I need better than I do.”

  “I just want to lay the foundation for you to move on to happier drinks, whenever you feel ready.”

  Alexis gazed into his devoted blue eyes and an intense desire for him overcame her. She carefully placed the bottle on the floor beside her.

  “So what kind of music do you have on that iPhone?” she asked.

  “The good kind, obviously.”

  “Why don’t we dance? Josh was a terrible dancer. I’d like to see how you measure up.”

  He wasted no time in hustling over to his phone to scroll through his playlist. He hit play and spun around to see Alexis right behind him. She stepped into his embrace as the first notes of Bittersweet Symphony bounced off the gym walls.

  “The Verve, right?” she asked.

  He nodded and she saw that familiar longing in his eyes. She couldn’t resist his pull as he leaned down to kiss her tenderly on the lips. Her stomach fluttered in response and she pressed herself against his broad chest. She felt proof of his arousal as his kisses intensified. As his tongue probed her mouth, she felt herself relaxing, opening herself to him.

  “So you liked my gifts?” he murmured. His lips moved to her ear and then down her neck until her whole body tingled with need. He wanted to feel every inch of her, not just her shoulders or her neck. All of her.

  “Uh-huh.” She ran a hand down his chest and felt the tightness of his abs beneath his shirt. When his hand slipped under her silk top, she moaned at his touch on her bare skin.

  “So Shea Marino. Did she kiss you?” Alexis asked.

  “No, I didn’t want her to kiss me.” He brought his lips back to hers. “I only wanted you.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  The next morning Alexis opened her eyes and stared at the blank ceiling. Christmas Day. She rolled onto her side and squeezed her eyes shut again, tightening her fingers on the sheet. For a brief moment, she experienced her knee-jerk reaction of misery, until she remembered the night before. Tyler. She relaxed her grip on the sheets and played the evening over in her mind. Even though he’d slowed things down in the school gym after a hot and heavy petting session, she knew it was for her benefit and not because he wanted to. Tyler Barnes was a gentleman, no one could argue with that. And his gift. She glanced to the dresser where the bottle of champagne sat, patiently waiting. Like Tyler. Although she wasn’t ready to pop the cork just yet, she appreciated the sentiment. Hope in a bottle. Thanks to Tyler, life was becoming not simply bearable, but enjoyable. She threw back the covers, rejecting her instinct to hide under them.

  Last Christmas was horrible. Donald and Moira had invited her to stay with them, but the atmosphere had been grim. Every time she looked at Donald, she saw the man that Mark would never become and, reflected in Moira’s eyes, she saw only a mother’s grief. Alexis ended up leaving on Boxing Day with a container full of leftover turkey she knew she would never eat.

  It had been Moira, however, who planted the seed about a return to Mangrove Island during that Christmas meal. Alexis’s heart had been too hard at the time to fully listen, but the suggestion had taken root, and when the firm finally asked her to take a leave of absence, or a sanity break as tactful Hal had called it, she knew where she intended to go. She had loose ends to tidy up between selling the flat and passing on her caseload to eager associates, so it had taken months before she could actually book a flight and commit to the idea. Even though she could have alerted her parents or Betsy to her impending arrival, the truth was that she feared their rejection. In her experience, it was harder to reject someone standing in front of you, so she’d decided to forgo the phone call and email and simply turn up unannounced. The strategy seemed to have paid off, or there was that small possibility that perhaps she’d underestimated her parents’ love for her. That they never would have told her not to bother showing up. Feeling heartened, Alexis got out of bed and into the shower.

  Once clean and presentable, Alexis made her way downstairs and peeked into the family room. Presents in varied cheerful wrapping paper sat beneath the tree. Her father watched Fox News while slurping a cup of coffee.

  “Merry Christmas, Dad.”

  He glanced up at her, uncertain. “Merry Christmas. Betsy’s brood will be here soon for brunch. They always come for Christmas brunch and dinner.”

  The implication seemed to be that Alexis did not.

  “Is Mom in the kitchen?” she asked, brushing off his remark. It was Christmas and she was surrounded by family. She would not be baited into any arguments.

  “Where else would she be?”

  Her father returned his attention to the television, so she hesitantly moved into the kitchen where her mother’s arms and legs were flying in a cooking frenzy.

  “Grab me that pan, will you, dear?” Alexis dutifully retrieved the pan from the end of the counter and handed it to her mother. “Once they get here, it’s action stations. I try to do as much as I can ahead of time.”

  “I’ll set the table.”

  “That would be helpful. Thank you.”

  Alexis began collecting dishes and cutlery for the table.

  “I’m making roast beef,” Tilly informed her, “but Betsy’s bringing a broccoli and cheese quiche. I hope that’s okay.”

  “Perfect, thank you.” Alexis was moved by her mother’s consideration. If she had refused roast beef as a teen, she was certain her parents would have made her sit at the table until she ate it, however long it took.

  “How do you normally spend Christmas?” Tilly asked tentatively.

  “I used to spend it with Mark’s family.”

  “This year will be hard for them, then.”

  “Yes, I suppose so.” Alexis knew that the Steamers were spending this Christmas with Mark’s aunt and uncle so they wouldn’t be alone.

  There was a rush of activity at the front door and they realized that Betsy and her clan had arrived. As quick as a flash, Owen materialized in the kitchen.

  “Merry Christmas!” he said, bouncing up and down with such force that Alexis wondered how many cookies he managed to sneak before breakfast.

  Tilly gave him a hurried kiss on the cheek. “Merry Christmas, dear. Now don’t be underfoot.”

  Owen moved on to Alexis. “Can I help?”

  “Sure. Here.”

  She handed him some forks. He put them on the table and proceeded to make a design with them instead of setting the table. Tilly glanced over.

  “Owen, none of your foolishness. Put them by the plates, please.”

  Owen’s small face crumpled. He gathered up the forks and did as he was told.

  Alexis leaned over and whispered, “I thought it was a beautiful design.”

  The little boy beamed at her. They finished the table and Owen took Alexis’s hand and dragged her into the family room.

  Brian was in the process of picking up each gift and shaking it. He made multiple guesses as to what was inside. Then, in the far corner, he spied a scooter with a big red ribbon on it.

  “No way! It’s exactly the one I wanted.”

  Alexis shot her sister an uneasy glance as Brian read the tag.

  “It’s from Santa!” he announced.

  Owen looked puzzled. “Why would Santa leave us presents here? He knows where we live.”

  “S
ometimes Santa makes a mistake, but he can’t turn back because he’s on a schedule, so he leaves a gift where you’re sure to get it,” Alexis explained.

  “Santa’s a genius!” Owen gushed.

  “He’s not a genius if he makes mistakes, dummy,” Brian said.

  “Brian, don’t call your brother names,” Joe said sternly.

  Alexis gestured toward the right side of the tree. “Owen, I think he may have left something for you, too.”

  Owen rushed to the tree and scoured the gifts. He pulled out a book-shaped present. “This one says Owen! Can I open it, Mom?”

  Betsy nodded and Owen tore away the paper.

  “It has dinosaurs! What does it say?”

  Betsy leaned down to read the cover. “I Wonder Why the Dodo is Dead and Other Questions About Extinct and Endangered Animals.”

  “Awesome!” He hugged the book to his chest and Alexis sighed inwardly, pleased with her purchase. Betsy’s expression toward her sister softened.

  “Elmo!” Joey cried.

  Joey pulled out an Elmo DVD and talking Elmo doll from under the tree. He started squeezing Elmo’s belly and laughing when Elmo talked. Joe beamed, taking pleasure in his son’s enjoyment.

  “I thought you were going to get me something,” Brian said to Alexis.

  Alexis ruffled his hair. “I need to get to know you better first so I don’t buy you some lame gift. I’ll do better next time. When’s your birthday?”

  “May thirtieth.”

  “I’ll do better May thirtieth then.”

  Brian gave her a big smile and returned to his scooter.

  “Look, Santa left something else here,” Alexis said, plucking a small, wrapped box from under the tree and handing it to Betsy.

  “Really?” Betsy asked. “Wow, my first adult Christmas gift from Alexis.”

  “Well, it’s not a handmade tree ornament. I hope you’re not disappointed.”

  Betsy laughed, remembering Alexis’s efforts at crafting Christmas ornaments out of salt dough and ribbons. “I might still have a few of those.”

  Betsy reached into her shoulder bag and pulled out a package for Alexis. The wrapping paper was decorated with reindeer and covered in green and red tape.