Casual Sext

by Lisa Lace

  I call Laura after I talk to the police, and she answers right away. “Hey, how are you? I haven’t heard from you guys since the last—”

  “Bella’s gone. She’s missing. I don’t know where she is,” I blurt out.

  “What! What do you mean? Since when? What happened?”

  “She was here. I tucked her in. I don’t know how or what happened, I came in to check on her, and she wasn’t in bed. I looked everywhere.” My voice breaks, and I look out on the back lawn for any sign of Bella.

  “Oh my God. Where’s Helen? Maybe she’s seen her? Check the garden. She loves to sit on the bench there. Did you call the police?” Her voice is shaky, and I can hear concerned voices in the background.

  A police officer gestures for me to come to the station they’ve set up in the living room, and I tell Laura I have to go. She’s still talking but I hang up before I realize that. The following few hours are brutal. Sam comes back and talks to the police. He’s been cleared for now, and he comes to settle next to me.

  Someone forms a search party, and soon K-9s and neighbors are searching the grounds with us. I feel hopeful when an officer asks if we checked the basement.

  “No, nobody did.” I leap up to do just that, but I stop when three officers head down ahead of me.

  “Did she ever go down here?” An officer pulls me aside to ask.

  “No, never. We always keep it locked.” I gesture to the lock that was still fastened from the first floor.

  “Okay, we’ll give a thorough look. And she never played down here, never followed you down maybe? Perhaps she sleep-walks?”

  “But the door was locked. She couldn’t have done that, even if she did venture down there.” The sun is going to come up in a couple of hours, and I am running on coffee, which makes me jittery at the best of times.

  When I finally collapse, it’s in Bella’s room, in the rocking chair I had for her when she was smaller.

  I wake up later to voices in the hall. I sit up, trying to clear the fog from my mind. “Did you find Bella?” I call out.

  “Yes!” Sam comes in, cradling a sleeping Bella, followed closely behind by Laura.

  “Where was she?” I demand as we crowd around the bed while Sam lowers her down.

  An officer swaggers in after Laura. “She was asleep in her old room, it seems.” He points at Laura. “It’s not common, but it can happen in these bigger homes. A person could lose their loved ones here for sure.”

  Laura and I exchange a look, and we both glance back at Bella. Laura kneels down to give her a kiss and rests her cheek against hers. I walk around to the other side and do the same. Our hands meet in the middle, and Laura threads her fingers through my own.

  “How are you here?” I bring her hand to my lips and kiss her knuckles softly.

  “Right after you called, I booked the first flight out. I had to pack in thirty minutes, but I managed to get on the plane. I called Sam to pick me up at the airport. I knew you wouldn’t want to leave in case we found Bella. And here I am.” She shrugs and smiles.

  “I’m glad you came.” I lean forward to press a kiss to her lips.

  “Me too.”

  Bella stays in her deep slumber throughout our exchange, and I know this is my chance to make things right. I can’t screw this one up.

  Laura

  With all the commotion around her, Bella wakes up, even though we are doing our best to talk in low voices. My guess is that she feels the energy around her and wakes up from the nervous relief. Either way, when she sees me, she beams and launches herself into my arms. “I knew it. I knew you would come back!” I don’t know if she’s clinging to me, or if I’m clinging to her.

  “Oh sweetheart,” I murmur into the top of her head. “We were so scared. What were you doing under the bed in my room?” She smells like strawberry shampoo mingling with one of my more expensive perfumes.

  “I missed you, and I missed Daddy too.” Bella looks at Max, and I look at him, really look at him for the first time in a long time. He looks like he’s aged a decade at least. I can’t blame him, considering how harrowing the last several hours have been.

  “You look like you need some sleep.” I edge closer to him and nudge him toward the door.

  “Daddy sleeps at the office sometimes.” Bella tilts her head upward and turns her little face to her father, who doesn’t look pleased.

  “Okay, Bella.” He sighs. “We can talk about this later.”

  “When you’re in deep, you’re in real deep,” Sam says next to Max’s ear.

  “What’s she talking about? You sleep at work?” My curiosity gets the better of me.

  “It’s nothing. I had to get some more work done, and I slept there a couple of nights. No big deal.”

  Sam looks at me and winks, promising to tell me more when Bella is out of the room.

  “Okay, Bella.” I grab her hand and steer her to the bathroom. “Let’s get you dressed and ready for school. You want me to do your hair up or down?”

  “Up! No, down!” Bella is so excited, she’s hopping down the hall next to me. “And can you pick me up so everyone can see you?”

  “Of course, I can pick you up.” I scoop her into my arms and give her a loud kiss on the cheek.

  “No.” She giggles. “I want you to pick me up after school, so my friends can see you.”

  “Oh, well, they’ve seen me before, right?” I lower her back to the ground as we near the bathroom.

  “Yes, but I told them you’re my mommy, so they want to see my mommy picking me up from school like their mommies do.” I stop in my tracks at her words and listen to her chatter about how involved the other mommies are in her class. “Laura? I mean, Mommy? Are you okay?”

  I’m still standing in the hall, and I know the shocked expression is frozen on my face “You want to call me ‘Mommy’?” I can’t believe how much power one word can hold. I want to sink to my knees and tell her it’s the most beautiful word in the world, but I refrain.

  “If that’s okay.” Bella looks nervous now. “I didn’t ask you, but Daddy said I can call you whatever I’m comfortable with.” Her small fingers twist the nightgown in her hand, and I can’t stand it anymore.

  Rushing toward her, I sink down and crush her to me. “Yes, you can call me that. I was surprised, that’s all. No one has ever called me that before.” I swallow the lump in my throat, but the huskiness in my voice is more difficult to hide. After a few more hugs and giggles and tickles, I have her bathed, dressed, and ready for breakfast.

  We go downstairs. I’m surprised to see Sam slicing vegetables in the kitchen, with Max manning the stove.

  “Wow, this is different,” I tease them. “What’s the special occasion that brings you two in the kitchen—and cooking what smells like a heavenly breakfast?” I peek over Max’s shoulder and steal a bite from the platter next to him. He swats my hand and looks at me with mock sternness. I know he’s doing it for Bella’s benefit, and I hear her scurrying up behind me to see if she can sneak a sample for herself without getting caught.

  “It’s the one thing he knows how to make.” Sam rolls his eyes. “He likes to milk it for all it’s worth.”

  “You complain but you’ll eat an entire stack,” Max says. “Shoo!” Max directs his frown toward Bella, and she laughs. It’s not a normal laugh, but a belly laugh that’s bubbling up out of her. I look back and forth between Sam and Max to see if they notice it too. They do. It makes me so happy to see everyone. If I could capture and freeze one moment in time, this would be it.

  Once Bella calms down, I have her help me set the table and set about preparing her lunch. Helen comes into the kitchen, and her eyebrows shoot up. “Oh dear. If I had known you all wanted some breakfast, I would have made some!”

  “It’s no trouble.” Max smiles at her. “I think we’ve managed everything pretty well, right guys?” He flips the pancake on the pan in one smooth motion, and Bella claps.

  “He’s just showing off,” Sam comp
lains. The two of them bicker about who prepared the better breakfast food, and I tune them out to soak up the moment. Their voices drown out, and I watch them interact in front of me like they’re in a movie. I can’t leave this. This is home to me. I don’t know how I can make it work with Max, but I have to try.

  The very idea of returning to Milan and my small, barren flat makes me shiver. It’s not the fact that it’s void of decorative pieces or rugs and furniture. I know that if the family in front of me was there with me, I would feel at peace.

  Once we get Bella off to school and have a chance to get some rest, I want to revisit the contract with Max. He was right about one thing. We do make a good team. No, a great team. And it’s crazy to mess that up, with all the foolish notions about love and emotions. We can be content with what we have because that’s sufficient.

  With my mind made up, I help clear a few dishes before Helen pushes us all out of the kitchen and dining room. “You go take the little Miss to school,” she says, handing me Bella’s lunch box.

  “Ready, Mommy?” Bella is looking up at me. I smile and lean down to give her a big kiss, and grab her hand to lead her to the waiting car.

  Max witnesses her calling me by my new title for the first time, and he watches me with something like longing. “What about me?” he asks quietly from his perch on the settee in the foyer.

  “You’re coming too?” Bella eyes his pajamas quizzically. “But you’re not dressed.”

  “No.” He holds his arms out. “Where’s my kiss? Don’t I at least get one for cooking breakfast?”

  “Oh!” Bella drops my hand and rushes to give him a big kiss on his cheek.

  “Here too,” he pouts, and motions to his other cheek. Bella obliges, and then he turns his gaze on me. “What about you?”

  “Me?” I feel exposed.

  “Yeah. Bella, don’t mommies kiss daddies?”

  “Yeah.” Bella looks at me seriously. “You have to kiss him too.” Not knowing what to say, I move toward him and lean down to give him a peck on the cheek.

  “Oh, that’s not a good kiss.” He frowns. “Was that a good kiss, Bella?”

  “No. Mommy, you have to give him a good kiss. A big one on the lips.” She looks at Max for approval and slips out of his lap. “I’ll be right back. I forgot my backpack upstairs!”

  “Couldn’t have said it better myself.” Max grins. He is enjoying this a bit too much. Two can play this game.

  “Oh, on the lips,” I agree. “I can do that.” I lean down and give him the reception that I’ve dreamed about getting from him for six long weeks. His lips are hard but yielding, and his mouth tastes like maple syrup. My tongue slips between his lips and tangles with his before I pull back just enough to trace his lips.

  His breathing is heavy, and I could stop there, but I’m not done yet. I kiss him harder this time, and it feels like a war, each mouth trying to conquer the other. I capture his lower lip between my teeth and know that, for this round, I am the victor. I suck and nibble his lower lip until he lets out a growl.

  “I found it!” Bella comes back down the stairs triumphantly. “Mommy, did you give Daddy a kiss?”

  “I think I gave him a good one.” I wipe the corners of my mouth for any traces of smeared lipstick.

  “You got lipstick on your lips, Daddy.” Bella covers her mouth with her hand to contain her giggles.

  “I do, don’t I?” Max rubs at his lips and gives me a hooded look. I know if Bella wasn’t here, we would be in bed by now—if we made it that far.

  Giving him one last look over my shoulder, I guide Bella out the door and into the car. I can do this. I can play the role of loving mother to Bella. It comes naturally, and I love it. I’m already getting what I need from Max, so there’s no reason for me to push him away, just because I’m not hearing the words that I want to hear.

  Later in the evening, I finally get a chance to relax. With jet lag and the long night that I spent on the plane, I’m thoroughly exhausted. I feel optimistic about talking to Max, though.

  He’s reclining in the theater room, watching a football game. I’ve never seen him watch sports, or even discuss them, so it takes me by surprise.

  “You’re into sports?” I sink into a seat next to him.

  He arches a brow and gives me a half smile. “I’m a living, breathing male, so obviously, yes.”

  “Not all men like sports,” I counter.

  “Maybe not, but I’m not interested in those statistics anyway.” He gestures toward the screen. “I want to know more about these ones.” There is a growing list of players and their season stats listed in columns.

  “I should leave you to your game,” I say, scooting off the seat. “I know enough about men and sports to know that they don’t like a lot of talking during games.”

  “Wait.” He pauses the television. “This is pre-recorded. But even if it wasn’t, I don’t mind you sitting with me.”

  “No, I mean, I had a few things to discuss with you, but it can wait. You finish this and let me know when you’re free.”

  “I’m free now.” He moves his finger on the remote, and the screen goes blank. “Sit.”

  I plop back down on the seat, and the sudden silence fills the room. “I wanted to talk about the contract,” I say slowly, without looking up. I realize as I’m speaking that I don’t know if this is an option any longer. He’s probably moved past the idea since I rejected it as soon as he brought it up. I cringe inwardly, thinking about how quick I was to dismiss the idea after he’d gone through the trouble of having his lawyer draft new papers for it.

  “The contract?” he asks.

  “Yeah, I mean, I see your point about making a good team, and I think we should extend the contract to something, um, permanent.”

  “Okay, well…” Max scratches the shadow growing on his face and stares ahead at the blank screen.

  “I’m thinking about Bella and what happened. I don’t want that to ever happen again. That alone is reason enough for me.”

  “Of course,” Max agrees.

  I don’t know why he’s not elaborating on anything. I want him to talk to me, dammit, not give me vague responses. “I talked to Sam earlier. He was telling me about the weeks that led up to Bella disappearing. He said you were overwhelmed at work?” That’s a lie. It’s not exactly what Sam said about Max. He told me Max missed me, but I don’t buy that. Riley says the same thing, but those two can’t sustain our marriage for us.

  “I had a lot on my plate.” Max looks at me, and then down at the remote in his hands. “So, you’re referring to the contract that you weren’t interested in a while back?”

  “That’s the one,” I say evenly.

  “Look, Laura,” Max sits up straighter. “I don’t know what to tell you about that. I was in a different place when I had that contract put together, and I shouldn’t have done it. I’m sorry. It’s created a lot of confusion for both of us, and I should have approached things differently.”

  My heart drops with each word he says, and I can’t make eye contact with him at all now, for fear of bursting into tears. “I see.”

  “You understand what I’m saying, right? Sam told me it was stupid. Walter told me the same thing when I was having him draw up the papers. I was stubborn and didn’t want to listen to anyone.”

  Hearing his words, I recall what Sam told me about Bella. “All I’m saying is that there’s a contract in place, and if we’re both in agreement to the terms, then why not? Bella needs the stability, and I don’t see the harm in compromising a few things for her sake.”

  Max studies my face carefully. “You’re okay with compromising?”

  “Of course. I think it would be beneficial for her, and it works for us, so I don’t see why it’s such a big deal.” I sound so convincing that I think I’ve even swayed myself into believing this is all possible.

  “Okay.” He taps his fingers on the remote and looks thoughtful. “I thought it would be possible before, but I think
you made the right choice when you turned down the offer. I don’t think either of us is capable of a compromise.”

  “Wait a second.” I’m growing impatient with this back and forth. “You were the one who suggested it. Yes, I rejected it, but my reasons were work-related. I think you’re overlooking the fact that Bella needs this.” I’m at the edge of my seat and desperately trying to keep the tears at bay.

  “Do you think you can love Bella without a contract in place?”

  I bite my lip to keep the tears from rolling down my cheeks. If I open my mouth, everything will come gushing out, so I give myself a minute to compose myself. But no matter how hard I try, all I can picture is our breakfast in the morning, with Bella laughing and Max looking at me from across the table with the most caring eyes. I know it was my imagination now because he isn’t remotely interested in being with me if it doesn’t serve his purpose—whatever that is right now.

  “I guess that answers that question.” He sighs and drops his feet down. “Do you think you could give up everything you’ve worked for and settle into this life for good? You would be sacrificing everything—and for what? For Bella?” He stands up. “I think we should weigh our options and make a good choice for all of us.” He leaves me in the room when I don’t reply.

  Yes. I can do that. I want to do that. I love him. But I can’t even tell him how much I love him because the words get stuck in my throat.

  He’s telling me that his own plan won’t work, and we’re not going to be able to sustain our marriage based on compromise. He’s right. But how can I explain to him that it’s not going to be a compromise without telling him how I really feel?

  Maxwell

  Seeing Sam surge ahead of me when we race usually brings out the competitor in me. But I feel defeated today. It’s been a few days since Laura and I discussed the contract, and I want to kick my own ass for screwing everything up again.