From This Day Forward

by Shannon Myers

  I turn the ceiling fan light off and dim the recessed lighting. I want us to be able to see each other, but I certainly don’t want to feel like I’m under a spotlight. After wrestling with the pillow placement for several minutes, I toss them all to the floor in frustration. I need this to be perfect and the universe is conspiring against me. I go over and pick up each pillow, placing them on the upholstered bench at the foot of the bed.

  It takes a few more tries before I feel that room is ready for romance. There are only two pillows on the bed—a nice compromise, and the covers are gently turned back. Now, do I lie across the bed seductively or stand next to it mysteriously? I throw my hands up in defeat.

  “Uh, David? Could you come here?”

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  “Sure Beth, you okay?”— the words die on his lips as he takes in the scene in front of him; the dim lights and me perched halfway on the bed in what I thought was a seductive, but now realize comes across as a stiff pose. He looks amused, “You comfortable sitting like that?” My inner romantic has tipped back in her chair, laughing hysterically. A lot of help she is.

  “No, not really, I feel like an amateur at this kind of stuff.”

  His grin widens, “And what kind of ‘stuff’ are you referring to?”

  Disaster. Abort! Abort! This was a terrible idea. “I just thought—it’s stupid really. I’ll change.” I need the earth to swallow me up.

  He’s over to me in just a few strides, “Stop. It’s perfect. I didn’t want to push you until you felt comfortable. I mean, you just met me two nights ago. Don’t you think it’s a little soon for you to be taking me to bed?” I swat him on the arm and he smirks at me.

  “You’re teasing me, after all the effort I just went to. Hmm…maybe we should wait,” He leans me back against the mattress and stops me with his mouth. I pull away, “Are you sure you don’t want me to sleep in the guest room?”

  “Don’t you fucking dare. There’s no way in hell I’m letting you walk out of this room.” He practically growls the words and I find myself shivering in anticipation. “Did you intentionally wear your wedding night lingerie, Beth?”

  “What? No, I didn’t remember—it’s kind of fitting though don’t you think?” I bring his mouth back to mine and use my hands to guide him onto his back.

  I feel much more in control as I sit on top of him. The athletic shorts cannot hide his erection. The fact that I’ve turned him on only ignites the fire within me. His hands keep finding the hem of my slip and trying to work it up, but I shake my head “no”. This is about remembering. I want to savor every moment and see if I can’t unlock a few more memories in the process. I run my fingers lightly across the stubble on his chin before turning his head and taking his ear lobe between my teeth. He groans and his hands are clawing at my back, searching. I work my way down and place a kiss across his ribs and my name, with him fruitlessly trying to arch up into me, his hands fisting my hair. I’m feeling pretty proud of my sexual prowess when he sits up suddenly and pushes me back into the pillows before stripping off his athletic shorts. Oh. My. God. He is very happy to have me home. Stop staring! Mazel tov to me. I bite down on the tip of my index finger and look up into his eyes. Yeah bite your finger, good idea—that calmed him down.

  He climbs back onto the bed and grips the hem of my slip. He murmurs, “Someone’s wearing too many clothes,” before pulling it up and over my head and then it’s his turn to drink me in with his eyes—and his mouth. Oh sweet lord, his mouth. He uses his thumb and index finger to tease my nipples before taking one in his mouth. I feel slight panic setting in with the thought that I’m cheating. Stop. This is your husband. He is the only man you’ve ever been with and the only one you will ever be with. He loves you. This is right. The thought calms me immensely. He’s pushing me to a fever pitch. I pull him back up to my mouth, breathlessly exclaiming, “I want you so badly,” before my body fractures against his hand.

  David pulls away and reaches over to his nightstand and I surprise myself, “Stop, we don’t need it.”

  He looks over his shoulder, “Are you sure? We don’t have to try tonight.”

  “I want to do this and I really want to feel you inside of me. Nothing else…please.”

  He mutters a curse before shoving the top drawer closed and making his way back to me, “God, do you have any idea what it does to me when you talk like that?”

  Before I can form an articulate response, he’s inside of me and all I can do is moan his name over and over as an intense orgasm washes over me. He pulls me over to the side of the bed and I come again, almost instantly. David is like a man possessed, there is no soft and sweet here. It’s as if he’s trying to fuck me into remembering my life with him. His thrusting increases and I can no longer tell where one orgasm begins and the other ends. He groans my name as he comes and tears of happiness streak down my face. He holds my head in his hands as he kisses the tears away.

  We fall asleep wrapped around each other in a tangle of limbs. My inner romantic lights a cigarette as she lounges on her chaise. He pulls me to him twice in the middle of the night, as if needing to reassure himself that I’m real. I worry that it won’t be as good as the first time and he proves me wrong each time. He’s gentler with me and I find that I can’t decide which I like better with him: soft and sweet or rough. I think, maybe I’m dead. That would explain why this feels like heaven.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  I wake up to the sound of the shower and look over at the clock. It takes a second for my eyes to adjust enough to make it out—nine-thirty? I don’t remember the last time I slept in that late. I smile remembering why I was up half the night and tiptoe into the bathroom to see if David needs help getting clean.

  He doesn’t even seem surprised to see me standing there. He opens the door and pulls me into him, under a cascade of warm water. We’ve been together for four years, but it all feels so new to me. Maybe all it takes is a head injury to spice up your marriage. He takes the soap and lathers it generously across my breasts and belly, taking great care to ensure I’m clean. When he tilts my head back and trails kisses down my neck and across my collarbone, I shiver even with the warm water running down my body. He gently picks me up and uses the wall as a brace before entering me. My sore muscles protest initially, but the pain is forgotten within seconds. We come at the same time, wrapped up in each other. While the majority of me is enjoying the moment, there’s still a small part of my brain that is waiting for something to click. I feel as though my memories are just out of reach.

  I’m sitting at the café table on our back patio, cup of coffee in hand. I take a small sip before leaning back in my chair and taking in the day. Summer has always been my favorite. We’ve made it past the spring dirt-storms and now there’s nothing but clear blue skies overhead. There’s a flower bed along the fence bursting with red and orange blanket flowers and black-eyed Susan plants. Several bees flit from flower to flower, their hum soothing. A small water feature bubbles in the corner of the yard and a few birds land to take a drink. “You look so damn adorable sitting there staring off into space.” David’s voice startles me out of my thoughts and I turn to him, smiling.

  “You look pretty good yourself, Mr. Greene.” He comes over and sits down in the other chair with his coffee.

  He gestures to his cell phone, “Sorry about the back-to-back phone calls—gotta put out some fires. It’s the down-side to being my own boss.”

  I give him a mischievous smile, “I had plenty to keep my mind occupied.”

  “Is that so? You’ll have to enlighten me later,” he runs his fingers through the stubble on his face and grins, “First things first though. We’re going to get you a new phone and grab some lunch before you go see Dr. White at one-thirty.”

  “You got me in? Thank you.”

  “That was one of the phone calls I made just before dealing with work. I thought it might help to see another familiar face and she might be able to help you piece this togeth
er.”

  I go over and sit down on his lap, “You really are the best.”

  He runs a finger across my collar-bone and says huskily, “Now, let’s discuss these thoughts you were having while I was on the phone.”

  Replacing my phone turns out to be easier than expected as I was due for an upgrade. The sales agent asks me if I have an online storage account and we’re able to retrieve all of my contacts and photos. My phone begins chirping soon afterward as text messages and voicemails pour in. There are quite a few texts from Lauren. I turn to David, “You let my work know I was out right?”

  His face is a mask of confusion, “Yeah, why?”

  I show him my phone, “Lauren’s been texting me.”

  He shrugs, “She’s probably just checking in on you. She knows you’re out indefinitely though. In fact, she was going to stop by and bring dinner one night this week.”

  Now it’s my turn to look confused, “Did she come by to see me when I was in the hospital?”

  “Beth, she was the first one there Friday night. I’ve never seen her so upset. She’s been covering for you at work, so she told me she’d be over the first chance she got.” So, she and I are friends in this realm too. That’s a comforting thought. I scroll through several of the messages and see that they were sent the day I woke up.

  “Are you awake?” 9:56 PM

  “Can I come see you?” 11:01 PM

  The others are a mix of wondering how I am and what I’m doing. That’s sweet of her to reach out like that. Maybe she’s turning over a new leaf as well. I shoot her a quick reply, “Doing well. Finally free of the hospital gown ;-) See you soon!”

  We grab lunch at a nearby Mexican food restaurant as it’s “Taco Tuesday”—David’s favorite. I grin as another detail falls into place. This puzzle is coming together quite nicely, albeit a little slower than I’d hoped. I spend our lunch together getting to know my husband. “Where are your parents?”

  It takes him a second to answer me as he finishes chewing, “My mom lives down in Beaumont, close to the gulf and my dad passed away a year ago from a sudden heart-attack.” He tightens his mouth and I reach for his hand.

  “I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t have brought it up if I could just remember.” I bite my lower lip to keep from tearing up.

  “Hey, don’t do that. You’re doing the best you can. I’m not mad,” He squeezes my hand before continuing, “You know, my dad loved you. He said you reminded him of young Lucille Ball with your crazy facial expressions and sense of humor.” I pucker my lips and widen my eyes at him (my best impression off-hand) and he laughs, “Yeah Beth, just like that.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  We arrive at Dr. White’s office with five minutes to spare so we get comfortable on the love seat in the waiting room. I decide to check in with my mother while waiting.

  “Hey, just wanted to let you know that I’m out of the hospital. I’m at a doctor’s appointment now, but I’ll call you later—I love you.”

  Dr. White steps out of her office. “Hello, Elizabeth. David—we haven’t seen you here in awhile.” He stands up and shakes her hand as she ushers us both into her office. “Hey Beth, I’m going to sit out in the truck and get some work done if that’s alright.” I nod at him and follow Dr. White into the office.

  It looks exactly the same, which means I didn’t imagine it. I settle in on the couch as she sits across from me.

  “So, it’s been a month since we last met and you’re sitting here in front of me looking a little worse for the wear. What’s going on with you? What’s happening in your life right now?” Her voice is so soothing I feel my throat tighten.

  I manage to get through the events of the past few days, only stopping to cry once. I’m so used to seeing Dr. White impassive that it takes me a minute to register her shocked facial expression.

  She sputters, “So, you remember nothing?”

  “Well, I remember meeting David. It just feels like something that happened three days ago instead of four years ago. And I can remember little things here and there. Overall, it’s like my brain is withholding information.”

  Her notebook slides to the floor, unnoticed. “So, you cannot remember what we’ve been meeting about over the last year?”

  “Wait, you mean I haven’t been seeing you for the last five years? Just this year?”

  She brings her hand up to her mouth, “Elizabeth, you and I have only been seeing each other a short amount of time. You really don’t remember any of it?”

  I feel like I’m in trouble, “No, I’m sorry, unless we really did meet about Landon having an affair.”

  She leans forward in her chair, “Landon? You can remember Landon? That’s a start.”

  Wait—what? Did she mean David—Landon’s real?

  Now it’s my turn to play interrogator, “So, just a minute—you know about Landon?”

  She stops me, “What do you remember about Landon?”

  Is this a joke?

  I bring my left hand up to my temple. “I’m not sure what’s going on here, Dr. White. No one else has known who Landon is and now you’re telling me that he’s real? I’m completely confused.” I pull at the collar of my blouse, feeling hot.

  Her soothing voice is back, “Elizabeth, take a deep breath and relax your mind. It’s okay to be confused in all of this. David is here now and that is what matters. Let’s talk about how you’re recovering at home with him.”

  My mind is racing, trying to make sense of it all. He’s real. Why am I so disappointed to hear that?

  “I’m sorry, Dr. White. I’m not feeling well,” she gives me a puzzled look. “I’ll pay you for the full hour, but I need to go lie down.” I jump up off of the couch and head for the door with my head down, the bile rising up in my throat.

  She follows me to the door, “Elizabeth, please stay. Let’s try to talk these feelings out.”

  I shake my head through my tears. I can’t breathe in this room. I need to get outside. “I’ll have David reschedule later. I just need to get home.” I brush past her and into the sunshine outside where I take deep breaths.

  David is sitting inside his truck having what appears to be a tense conversation. I can’t burden him with this, not after everything he’s been dealt the last few days. I wait for him to finish his conversation and compose myself before going over to him.

  When I open the door and climb in he looks at the clock, “Wasn’t that supposed to be an hour?”

  I nod, “My head’s really hurting so she decided it would be better if we rescheduled for next week.” I am a little white liar. My inner romantic is searching the liquor cabinet, looking for a bottle of tequila to deal with this new development. He looks distressed, “Let’s get you home and in bed. We just did too much for your first day.” I pick at my nails on the drive home, trying to work events out in my head. It’s futile.

  When we get home, I walk in and throw the covers back on the bed before climbing in fully dressed. David tries to follow me, but his phone begins ringing. I can hear him having a heated discussion with someone from his company. “No, I can’t damn well get up there to fix this mess. Why? Because my wife isn’t well, that’s why!” I hear him sigh, “I don’t know when I’ll be able to leave.”

  I get out of bed and make my way to him. He looks worried sick right now. I whisper, “David, you have to go up there.”

  He glances at me, afflicted by my words, “Let me call you back,” He hangs up the phone. “Beth, I can’t leave you now. You’re not even close to being well. If only they weren’t threatening to pull the job out from under us right now.”

  “You cannot lose this job on my account. Please go up there and do whatever it is construction company owners do to save a job. I’ll be fine. I can text Lauren and see if she wants to bring dinner by.”

  He glances at his watch, “If I leave now I should make it up there right before quitting time and maybe I can round up the guys for a meeting. I will try to be home by tomorrow evenin
g at the latest. Do you want to stay with your parents?”

  “No, I’m going to have to get used to you working out of town sometimes. This will be good practice for me.”

  I go over to where he’s sitting and wrap my arms around his neck. He kisses me, “What did I do to get so lucky?”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  David leaves me lying in bed satiated. Turns out he had a few extra minutes to spare, and we took advantage of that. I roll over and grab my phone off the nightstand to text Lauren.

  “David had to go back to Amarillo earlier than expected. Do you want to come over and keep me company tonight?”

  Her response is immediate, “Absolutely, what time? Want me to bring dinner?”

  I giggle as I type my reply, “Yes! As long as you’re not cooking! And, come at 8?” There’s a joke around our office that all of the fast food restaurants are on a first name basis with Lauren. Not that you’d be able to tell, she’s so tiny.

  “Deal, I’ll pick-up something and see you then.”

  I’m pretty excited to spend some time with her. We don’t ever see each other outside of work. Neither one of us is very social so we tend to head straight home to the comfort of our own couches after a day at the office. She’s single and doesn’t have any kids—well, pre-accident she didn’t. Maybe I can pick her brain and see if we can’t trigger some more memories.

  I still feel like I’m missing something, but instead of trying to decode my appointment with Dr. White, I choose to nap. I place my phone and glasses on the nightstand. My brain needs some rest.

  I wake up and realize from the way the light is streaming in through the window that I slept a lot longer than I meant to. The clock reads seven twenty-three. Holy Cow—I must’ve needed some recovery time to make up for last night. I check my phone to find several texts, one from my mom and one from David. I decide to get the bad news out of the way first by reading my mother’s text.