Reborn (Born Trilogy)

by Tara Brown

  “We’re not good with kids, Star. We need to find someone to take him.”

  She smiles, “I know.”

  I look down, “What was I thinking? I shot a woman holding her kid.” I meet her eyes, “This is what’s wrong with us. I can't see right from wrong in the heat of the moment. I never saw that shooting Mary would get Meg killed. I saw the shots the way they would go down, but I never imagined it would end like that.”

  She shrugs, “I don’t see what you did was wrong. It was a split-second decision. I see it like it was all of us or them. It’s always us or them, Em.” Her words burn into me, making the cold hate worse. She continues, “Meg would have been fine if she’d stayed beside me.”

  My lip quivers, “But Leo…”

  She nods, “Yup. Meg made the same decision you made. She saw something she wanted changed and she did it. That’s the world we live in. We give up our lives to save theirs, or we walk away and save ours.” Her eyes tear up. She presses a needle into my wound. I tense and moan. She speaks softly again, “At least you have always been true to who you are. When I found out I was different, I never told anyone. I could have saved you at the camps and I didn’t. I let them think you were the only different one.”

  Through clenched teeth, I mutter, “Trust me, we aren’t so different. I would have lied too, if I hadn’t been discovered.”

  Jake walks into the room. He leans against the wall, “You need to go get Leo. He’s hurt and needs to come in. He and Sarah are sitting out there in the dark.” His voice is cold. He turns and leaves after a second. “They’re pissed.”

  I nod, “I would be too.” She finishes and gives me some medicine, that she’s sure won't do anything for me because it’s expired.

  I walk out into the yard, past Will and Jake. I drop to my knees when I get to the pile of stones next to the rose bush.

  “We gotta go inside. It’s dangerous outside.”

  Sarah looks at me. Her cheeks are tear-stained and her eyes so puffy they barely open, “She was my best friend.”

  I nod, “I know.”

  She runs her hand through Leo’s fur, “What if that’s how it is now, we just die off one by one?”

  I shake my head, “I don’t know.” I want to lie, but the cold hate is stronger than me, and it doesn’t care if she’s scared.

  “Meg wanted them dead. All them ones who kill the kids.”

  I nod, “I know.”

  She puts a finger out, “You have to pinky swear that you'll kill them for her. Meg always made me pinky swear.” I wrap my finger around hers and she shakes it. “You kill them.”

  I nod, “Yes, ma’am.”

  She wipes her little face and nods, “Okay, me and Leo will come in.” She stands, and sure enough, he stands and follows her inside. I look at the grave, “Night, Meg.” My eyes lift to the stars. I imagine she is one of them. Anyone who would do something so brave as to save Leo with their life, is hero enough for a place in the sky.

  I stand and walk behind them to the house. Will wraps an arm around Sarah and carries her upstairs. I slap my leg at Leo. He tries to follow Sarah but I snap my fingers. He bows his head and walks with me to the kitchen. He’s still limping and holding that leg in the air.

  We get to the room. I pat the table, “Can you jump up?” I know he’s got to be at least as much as I weigh. There is no way I’ll get him on the table.

  Jake walks in, “You need some help?”

  I nod. Leo bares his teeth instantly. Jake gives him a look, “I need to put you on this table and you can bite me if you want to, but you’re going up there.”

  Leo snarls but Jake ignores it. He reaches around and grabs him. He places him on the table, getting nips and snorts from the huge timber wolf. I see a bit of blood on Jake’s arm. He doesn’t even flinch.

  Leo lies down on the table, looking uneasy. Star puts her hands up, “This you can handle. I’m not getting bit.”

  I stroke his face, “Hey, it’s me and you now.” He yawns and I nod, “Settle in.” I grab some scissors and cut back the tufts of fur. The bullet made a perfect hole through his leg. It missed the bone completely. I look at Jake, “Wanna pet him?”

  He laughs, “Yeah sure. He’s already done his worst.”

  I start the cleaning and look at Jake, “I’m sorry.”

  He shrugs, “You aren’t ever going to trust me or Will. I get why you don’t trust him, but me, I have never done anything but be your friend.”

  I nod, “I know and I’m sorry. I wish I’d asked for help. I had no idea what we were walking into.”

  He nods, “There used to be a saying, Dad always said it when me and Will were fighting. There is no ‘I’ in team. You either work as a team to win, or you lose as a group of individuals.”

  I sew the wound together. Leo sits, letting Jake pet his face. He doesn’t bite him. He’s as content as he can be. He trusts me again.

  Will walks in, “Sarah is sleeping.”

  I look up at him, “Thanks.”

  He turns and walks out. Jake makes a face, “He might kill you in your sleep.”

  I snort, “God, I hope so.” And I do. Because if he doesn’t, the cold hate is going to consume me and I’ll kill everyone until I’ve satisfied it.

  I understand why I never let anything in beyond Leo. Things and people end. They don’t take everything with them though; there is always a little bit left over that burns you inside.

  We finish with Leo and force medicine down his throat. Jake helps him down, getting bit again. We follow Jake to the living room and slump into the huge chairs. The house is quiet. Anna and Bernie are snuggled into a chair. Star is sitting on the floor next to the TV that doesn’t serve a purpose anymore. Will is on the couch. Jake sits beside him. I sit on the floor and let Leo come rest his head on my lap. Bernie gets up and passes us some of whatever they’re all drinking. I sniff it, smelling things that make my body shudder.

  I take a big drink and feel the burn. It feels good, warming me against the cold hate.

  I look at the glass and wonder who is going to talk first.

  No one does for a long time, but then Jake smiles, “I want to toast to Meg. The first girl who ever told me that I was what she called ‘a long sip of ice-cold water on a hot day’. I asked her when she’d ever had ice-cold water and she replied, never. I just heard Momma say it whenever we saw something as yummy as you roaming the woods. To Meg.”

  We all laughed and drank a huge gulp. My head started to spin.

  Star held up her glass, “To Meg, thank you for showing me how to cook deer properly, since I couldn’t do it, even if the damned deer got up and told me how.”

  I laughed harder and took back another big gulp.

  Anna whispered into Bernie’s ear. He held up his glass, “This is from Anna. To Meg, the girl who told me to tell Emma to stick it up her kazoo, when I told her she wouldn’t let me and Bernie date.”

  I laughed and nodded. Kazoo was a weird word I swore she made up. I imagined she made up most of what she said.

  I held up my glass, “To Meg, my sister. Thank you for showing me how to not take things so seriously.” I drank it back, knowing it wasn’t funny but it was true. She was always chewing a piece of grass and telling me to mind my business about Bernie and Anna. She was always telling me to just love both brothers and let them sort out the details. I drank back the last of my drink.

  “How did you meet her?” Bernie asked.

  I sniffled, “She saved my life. She saved me from something bad.”

  Bernie looks surprised, “She saved you?”

  I nod, “We were with the others, in cages. I was about to be… next thing I knew, he was dead and there was little Meg cussing at me to hurry up and run away. She’d stabbed him in the side of his eye with a nail. She was a savage. She didn’t stop talking for days. Momma this, and momma that, and Auntie Heather, and Leo was sort of useless for a pet. He wasn’t as great as her precious hounds.” My eyes gloss over and I finish the d
rink, “She was one of my first friends, like a little sister.” I glance at Anna. She smiles and winks at me.

  Bernie smiles, “She was a genuinely-good person.”

  Jake laughs, “She was just crazy enough to be fun, but had more sense in one finger than anyone I’ve ever met.”

  I laugh and hold my glass out with the last drink of the liquid, “To Meg.”

  I wake the next morning stiff, achy, and hateful. My whole body is an angry mess. I climb from the bed filled with a snuggly eleven-year old and walk to the bathroom. I pull off my clothes and look at myself naked. I'm a mess. Bruises, cuts, stitches, and dried blood.

  I sigh and climb into the shower. The hot water is amazing. The soap stings everywhere, but every time I think about the pain, my brain chimes in and thinks, aren’t you lucky to be alive and feeling that pain. The cold hate feels lessened by the people in the house.

  I climb out to find Sarah sitting in a corner in the bathroom. I wrap myself with a towel and walk to her. I drop to my knees, “You okay?”

  She shakes her head, “I had a bad dream and then I woke up, and Andy was screaming and crying again.”

  I hold my hand out to her, “Come on. I think I saw some of those packets of that sauce cook used to make you. I’ll see if Bernie can whip you up some home fries and that sauce. Maybe breakfast will help Andy too. Bernie had potatoes last time I was here.”

  She perks up and stands. I pull on clean clothes of Star’s and we go downstairs to try to start our day.

  We find only Jake in the kitchen, eating a bar. He smiles at me, “You look pretty.”

  I laugh and nod, “You seen Bernie?”

  His eyes darken, “He’s in bed still.” I realize what that means and grimace, “Oh.”

  He gives me a look, “Trust me, he didn’t have much choice on the matter. He tried to be a gentleman last night after you went to bed.”

  I put a hand up, “I don’t need to know.”

  He laughs, “Haven’t you ever heard that misery loves company?”

  I smile, “I heard that before.”

  Sarah smiles brightly, “Me too.”

  He smirks, “It’s true.”

  I nod toward Sarah, “You want to help me make some breakfast?”

  He smiles, “What are we having?”

  Chapter Four

  Bernie puts gold tacks on the places he knows for sure have camps or towns. It dawns on me, I don’t know anything about the world we live in.

  “I didn’t know there were so many.”

  He looks up, “There are a lot of survivors, especially in the Midwest. The East Coast was completely destroyed in the tidal waves and hurricanes, but the winters were what got most of the people. The disease was worse there too, with the dense population and all.”

  He places a red felt dot on the towns he knows have Lord’s Keepers. “Here and here are the worst I’ve heard of. This place has some but it’s a mix of traders and Keepers.”

  I look down, “I’ve seen them lots, always trying to get kids to come with them. I figured they were either perverts or just trying to help the children with no parents.”

  He nods, “I’m sure it’s a special mixture.”

  I snort and cross my arms, “How will we get to them all?”

  Will nods, “Same as we did with the breeder farms.”

  I give him a look, “You haven’t been to the towns much, have you?”

  He furrows his dark brow, “Not a ton, why?”

  I shrug, “There aren’t a lot of medical types who don’t know how to shoot a gun properly. Those people are survivors. They’re more like me and you.”

  His stare gets cold, “Then we should fit in famously.”

  Bernie looks like he’s thinking, “The thing you’re forgetting though, the townspeople want you to succeed. There’s talk of you and the rebellion.”

  I frown, “The flashy crow isn’t going to get us anywhere with those people. Yeah, the ones who had family at the farms sure, but we’d have to free the work farms before any of them would really care. Women aren’t as important as men, not any more.”

  Bernie laughs, “Not since we went back to constantly barbecuing in a cave.”

  I frown again but Will laughs. Anna gives me a confused look as she leaves the room. Star points at a spot in the middle, “There is a work camp right near there. I bet the majority of that town has family in the camps.”

  Bernie nods, still chuckling, “Right, we went there once. I remember that. When do we leave?”

  I looked around, “We… is a bad move. We includes Sarah, Anna who can't talk, and Jake who is Jake. Bernie, no offense, but you aren’t exactly badass either.”

  He puts a hand in the air, “I’m good with staying. I don’t care what happens out there, never have.”

  Star nods, “So me, you, and Will?”

  I nod, “And Andy. We need to find him some people to take care of him. We could work that woman-slaver angle if we have to. I’ve seen that.” I wish I hadn’t.

  Jake shakes his head, “I’m coming. Leo still isn’t a hundred percent; he’s staying and Anna is never going to let you leave her here.”

  Anna walks back in with a drink. I don’t meet her gaze, “I’m sure Bernie can take that.”

  Bernie gives me a confused look, “You think so?”

  I nod, “You underestimate the effect love has on people.”

  He shakes his head, “I think you underestimate my role in our love.” I laugh but Anna grabs my arm, ignoring when I wince from the wound on it.

  I shake my head and just say what I'm thinking, “You can’t come. Just stop being crazy and think. This house is our best bet at survival in the winter. When it comes, we won't have the cabin. Think about your last winter? Think about the fact you and Jake hid outside my cabin, stealing water and nearly dying. It was spring then. And Bernie can’t keep this place safe, now that people know where it is. We don’t know if any of Marshall’s people made it out of here. We need Sarah, Bernie, and Leo to stay safe. Leo is hurt. He can’t come with me. We need this house to stay safe. You’re the only one.”

  Her eyes burn. She whispers, “Damn you.”

  I nod, “I know if anyone can keep Leo and Sarah safe, it’s you.”

  She makes her wheeze and storms from the room.

  Bernie gives me a look, “Wow, you came up with that faster than I would have.”

  I nod, “It’s true and it’s the only way she’s gonna stay. I could see you weren’t going to say anything anyway.”

  His eyes soften, “Thank you.” He knows we’re going to die, more than likely and doesn’t want her to come. We’re always more than likely going to die. The fact only Meg is gone is some kind of miracle.

  Will gives me a look, “When do you want to leave?”

  “Now.”

  Star looks annoyed, “Really?”

  I nod, “I want this over. I want to be back before the people from the camp have time to get here, if any did get away.”

  Jake watches me from the corner, “I’m coming.” He turns and leaves. I look at Will who clenches his jaw, “He’s not going to back down.”

  I shrug, “I’ll break his legs, he’ll stay.”

  I storm after him. He looks back and me and grins, taking off running. I can still see the way he favors his leg that was hurt.

  I chase him up the stairs. “You aren’t coming.”

  He gives me a smirk, “You going to stop me?”

  I nod, “I am.”

  “You aren’t the boss, flashy crow. You may have everyone else convinced you’re the boss, but I don’t buy it. I watched you for months. You were lonely. You were scared. I saw it. You read those books in the window of that cabin and your face softened, in a way I only see when you’re with me.” He points, “You can deny it all you want, but I know you better than anyone. I know you better than you know yourself.” He closes the door, leaving me standing in the hallway with my heart beating a mile a minute.

  I n
ever thought about the fact he watched me.

  I turn and walk into our room. Sarah is napping with Andy on the bed. I lie down beside her, stroking her soft, blonde hair. She opens her eyes slowly, “Mom?” She sees me and blushes, “Hey, Em.”