by Tara Brown
I shove him away, "No. I can tell you're all sweaty and red. You didn’t relax."
He grabs my arm, knowing I hate that and plants a kiss on my lips. I can feel the challenging smile on his lips, "Come relax with me."
I shake my head, "That’s not relaxing."
He laughs and wraps his arm around me, pulling the horse to the pen.
Anna gives me a sad look; she's talking to Mitch but I can see something is wrong.
"What's up with Anna?"
He sighs, "She's been having cramps all day. She thinks she's going to lose the baby."
The words trigger something in my mind, "Bed rest."
He frowns, "What?"
I nod, "Bed rest. My mom was scared she was losing me; the doctors put her on bed rest."
He frowns, "Really?"
"Yeah. You get the horse and I'll get the pregnant, crazy woman into bed."
He swats me on the butt. I growl but it just makes his eyes flash with humor.
Nearly limping, I make it over to her and point at the house, "Come with me."
I take her hand and pull her inside. She tries to pull back but I don’t relent. My butt is killing me, my legs are exhausted, and I'm moody and hungry. I get to the back rooms and pull her into the one that she sleeps in alone. I close the door and point at the bed, "Bed rest."
She whispers, "What?"
I nod, "Bed rest. My mom was sure she was losing me and the doctors put her on bed rest. You had the infection, you shouldn’t even be able to have babies. You need to stay on bed rest."
Her face drops, "Em, I'll go nuts in here."
I shake my head, "You have to choose, baby or sanity."
She kicks her boots off and climbs into the bed. She frowns, "I need books. That Da Vinci one was good, but I'm out."
I nod, "I'll get books. You sit."
She wrinkles her nose, "How long do I have to stay in here?"
I shrug, "I don’t know. I guess until you feel normal again. Lay back so then the baby can't fall out."
She laughs and curls up on the bed. I can see she's exhausted.
I kick my boots off too and climb onto the bed with her. She grimaces, "You smell like horse."
I grin, "Yeah, well I had a shower yesterday at Star's, so I should smell like the lavender shampoo they're making there."
Her eyes bug open, "The hot water is back?"
I nod.
She moans in a wheezy whisper, "Oh, man. I need a hot shower. I made Nan heat me water on the fire and pour it on me, but it wasn’t the same."
I close my eyes, "It was amazing."
She whispers against my face, "You ever miss the breeder farm?"
I smile, "Yup."
The door opens. I glance back to see Sarah. I laugh, "Speaking of missing the breeder farms."
Sarah kicks her shoes off and climbs on the bed with us. "Will said you were back." She curls in between me and Anna. "I don’t miss the farms, I miss the cook."
I laugh and close my eyes again.
I don’t dream, I sleep completely peacefully. When I wake, I'm next to Will. I open my eyes to see him staring at me. He must have moved me in the night. He runs a hand down my cheek. I smile and close my eyes again. He wraps an arm around me, pulling me into him.
"You smell good."
I moan, "Mmmm, I had a shower at Star's. She knew Bernie had kept a bunch of solar panel stuff in the metal bunker under the house. The H.E.M.P. didn’t ruin it. She had to get something called an inverter fixed and then have it all hooked up. I didn’t think she'd be able to do it, but she did."
"They have power?"
I nod.
He makes a whistle sound, "That’s dangerous."
I open my eyes, "Why?"
He shakes his head, "Baby, we never want to have more than anyone else. We don’t want to have the things they don’t. If we have just enough to live, then no one is going to come and attack us and try to take it. People see power and then they want to rule."
"But she's going to get sheriffs and law enforcement. Maybe if they have some hangings or shootings, the bad people will stay away."
He shakes his head, "Not smart. Marshall was smart, how he did it. The camp and retreat were based entirely upon the group being a council and us only ever having what we needed. We were never the target of bandits or raids. We had a good population but not too much stuff."
I feel myself nodding off again, "It's sad we can't ever have anything ever again."
I sleep through the night, waking to Leo shifting on the bed. Will is wrapped around me totally and Leo is on my feet. I wrestle out from under them both and climb out of bed.
My legs are better and my butt doesn’t hurt anymore. There is definitely a perk to being me.
I pull on my boots and Will's long-sleeve shirt. It smells like him, his stink that, for whatever reason, I like.
I stroll out into the kitchen. Nan smiles, "Hey, kid."
I nod, "Morning."
Her eyes dart to the right, "They caught someone on the property this morning."
I look at the door and think about what Will and I had talked about. I strap my holsters to my thighs and walk out of the house, "Just one person?"
She nods.
Mitch gives me a look from across the gravel yard. I see a young man with long, dark hair. His dirty face is thin and tired looking. When he sees me, his eyes get trapped, staring at the guns on my legs.
I sling my bow and quiver over my shoulder and crunch my way to where Mitch is.
"Found us a friend in the woods. The guards caught him."
I stare at the dark eyes of the young man and nod, "Execute him."
Mitch's jaw drops, "He could help around here."
I shake my head, "This isn’t a work camp; we don’t keep slaves." I walk to the guy, wiping my hand down the dirt on his face, "This dirt was rubbed on. I bet he followed us yesterday. He's a scout." I lift his lip, discovering perfect, white teeth. I give Mitch a look, "Take him behind the barn. I'll execute him."
Mitch scowls, "Em, you don’t want to do this."
I grab the arm of the guy from Mitch, "I'll do it myself then."
The guy's mouth opens, "Fine, fine. She's right. I'm a scout. We fled from the city; we knew where the retreat was. It was on a map. Please, I'm a doctor."
My eyes narrow, "You’re twenty—how could you be a doctor?"
His eyes search mine for compassion. I know he's going to come up empty. He flinches at my cold stare, "I was apprenticing under some of the doctors in the city. I was learning to be a breeder doctor."
His eyes are crystal clear, like mine and Star's, "You're a Gen baby."
His eyes narrow for a second but he doesn’t say anything. His lips press together.
I reach up, grabbing his shirt, "ARE YOU?"
"YES!"
I jerk him back and release him, "Shit." I look at Mitch, "He's my brother, but he's from the city. Send scouts into the woods."
The guy’s eyes get nervous when I say it. He makes a face and then smiles, "You're Emma."
I grab his thick arm and drag him to the barn and point at the bunker in the floor, giving Mitch a deadly look, "Open that."
Mitch gives me a look but he does it. I push my new brother down into the hole and slam the lip. His green-blue eyes are the last thing I see of his face. I click the latch on the bunker and run my hands over my face, "Shit."
Panic is filling me. My father might be in the woods, or at Bernie's. Of course he would know where the retreat was and where Bernie lived. I slap my forehead, "Stupid, stupid, stupid."
Mitch grabs my arm, "Em, chill out. It's one guy."
I shake my head, "No. The city burned; they have nowhere to go. They’ve never been out here in the wild. They know where we've set up camp and villages. They had a room filled with maps. They know where we live." I can hear the panic in my voice.
I point down at the lid covered in hay, "That is not a scout—it's a test. Test to see how fast we respond
, how we act, and what kind of place we are, so they know what they need to take this from us."
Mitch puts his hands on my arms, "Calm down. Your crazy is showing. This is one guy, one doctor. You could beat him up, he doesn’t stand a chance here. Stay calm."
I take a deep breath and nod, "Okay. But I want pairs into the woods, finding them. I know there are more."
He nods, "Okay. Me, you, and Leo will be one pair, okay? We'll do the perimeter."
I go to whistle for him but Will opens the kitchen door, giving me and Mitch a weird look. Leo leaves the kitchen, sauntering to me. He sniffs the door to the bunker and growls.
I step out of Mitch's arms and point at the bunker door, "A scout from the city."
Will closes his eyes, "Shit." He points to the field, "We need scouting parties out. I want pairs to do a five-mile hike. Me, Em, and Leo will take one route. Mitch…"
I cut him off, "Will, me and Mitch are going together. You need to rest; me and him can run this perimeter with Leo fast. You need to rest."
His eyes dart between me and Mitch. He nods and walks back into the house, slamming the door.
Mitch sighs, "He thinks shit is going on, doesn’t he?"
I shake my head, "That’s not so important right now. Let's do this and I'll talk to him afterwards."
Mitch laughs, "This is your first boyfriend isn’t it? Go talk to him now."
I don’t want to. I don’t want to see the angry look on his face, or even worse, the pathetic one. I hate that look.
Mitch shoves me, "Get going, chicken shit."
I growl and walk into the house. Nan makes a muttering noise as I walk past her, ignoring it. He's in the bedroom, getting boots on. I close the door behind me and pressing my back into it.
He doesn’t look at me. He walks to the door, like he might move me or walk right through me.
I flinch when his hand moves. It stops him, but I can see his face get red. "You think I would hit you?"
I shake my head, "No."
I don’t wait for him to act nuts. It makes us both nuts and I'm tired of that song and dance. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss his throat. He remains wooden.
I bite him softly, smiling against his skin, "Just say the thing you think."
He shakes his head.
I climb him like a huge tree, wrapping my legs around his waist. I close my eyes and whisper into his ear, "I don’t know how to say it, Will. I don’t have that thing that I need to tell you how I feel, but I know how I don’t feel. I know the things I can't live without. Don’t make me shoot you."
He scoffs. I can feel him softening. His hands creep along my legs, cupping my butt. He holds me to him, pressing his face into mine. "I don’t have a purpose, Em. It's making me nuts."
I pull back, "You have a purpose. You make these people trust this place and me. You are the figurehead. You're the brains; you don’t need to be the brawn anymore."
He laughs, "Nothing like taking the man out of me."
I laugh too, "You know what I mean."
He shakes his head, "Next time can you just shoot me? I think it might be less painful than listening to this speech."
I shake my head, "No." I kiss his cheek, "Now I'm gonna go do a perimeter check with Mitch, my friend, and then I'm going to torture my new brother."
He flinches, "What?"
I nod, "He's mine and Star's age and from the city. His eyes are clear like ours, and I swear I can see Michael in his face. I asked him if he was a Gen baby and he said yes."
Will places me down, "Great. This is just getting better and better."
I kiss his cheek, "It's like you said. They are going to try to take what's ours ‘cause we have it better than them."
He kisses my lips softly, "Em, they aren't taking anything."
I reach behind me and open the door, "Please, Will. Please rest. Don’t exert yourself. Your breathing has been sounding bad."
He nods, "Okay. Stay with Leo."
I wink at him like Jake always does, "Done."
I leave the house again, worrying about everything.
Mitch gives me a shitty grin, "Was that so hard?"
Chapter Thirteen
The bark feels rough against my hands but the cool wind feels amazing. I can see Leo doing laps in the woods and Mitch in the tree to the right of me. Nothing else is moving though. We've run a perimeter and now I'm camped in my tree. Leo makes his way back to the meeting tree and sits at the bottom. He clearly hasn’t gotten a scent or seen anything; he looks peaceful like we're playing.
I look down at Leo, "Guess we're going with torture."
He pants and smiles. He doesn’t care either way.
I feel myself harden as I get back down on the ground. The forest sings around us. I leave the woods and stalk across the field, loving the feel of his fur in my fingertips as we walk. Mitch leaves the forest when he sees me walking in the tilled field.
The first thing I see is the lid of the bunker open when I round the corner. My guns are out instantly. Leo crouches low as we crunch our way to the farmhouse. Jake and a few guys are chatting in the horse pen and a girl with really blonde hair is feeding the goats. Men are hammering metal and no one seems to notice the bunker lid. He's snuck into the house maybe.
I open the porch door. Nan isn’t there. No one is. I slip down the hall, peeking in the doorways. No one makes any noises. I open Anna's door, but even Leo doesn’t want to look in there. The thing in the doorway is disturbing. I raise my gun at him, wincing in horror.
Anna frowns and wheeze yells at me. I can't understand her, but the doctor waves his free hand at me, "Her cervix is still closed. The cramps and bleeding are probably just spotting. You were right about the bed rest though."
His other hand moves between her legs. I gag a little bit, shaking my head. Anna snarls at me.
The doctor guy nods at the door, "Close the door. She says if Will sees, she's going to be pissed."
I stumble back. Leo has abandoned me. I close the door, still holding my guns out.
"Emma, would you stop. Jeeze, you act like such a boy sometimes."
I look down the hallway at Nan and shake my head, "What was that?"
She laughs, "Well, I figured why lock the doctor up, we can just get him to check out Anna real quick before you kill him. So I got Jake to let him out." I snarl but she points a thick wooden spoon at me, "Now you better not give me that look, young lady. I'll slap you around. I am not taking that shit off of you."
I point, hearing the way my voice cracks, "Nan, he's a monster. He's like me but worse. He's on Michael's team. He's probably killing Anna."
She rolls her eyes, "Through the vagina? Yeah, that's an efficient way to kill."
I gag as she says it and storm out of the house.
Will is crossing the field. My lip lifts when I see him talking to Mitch. I walk the other way. I know what is going to happen if I stay or confront him. I'm in the mood to shoot someone.
Leo rejoins me when we reach the forest's edge. I wave at the guy on the platform, "Take a break."
He nods and climbs down. I climb up and Leo finds himself a nice spot to make one of his nests. I see Jake crossing the field to where I am. When the tree sways, I clench my jaw. He climbs onto the platform, grinning away.
"Will send you?"
He nods, "You know it. He's a chicken shit when it comes to you angry."
I mutter, "I need to shoot him again, I think." I give him a look, still listening to the sound of the forest, "You know that guy is a bad man."
He shakes his head, "No, he isn't. He's a scout who won't make it back. He's been training to become a breeder doctor; Anna is a breeder, whether we like it or not. She is having that baby, against my wishes. It's better to have someone here who knows what they're doing."
I scoff and look down at Leo. He is still curled in a ball.
Jake tosses a balled-up leaf at me, "You need to stop being so paranoid. Maybe everything is going to work out. Maybe this is
a safe place for us to be."
My stare darkens, "I don’t believe that place exists. I'm trying to, but I can't and he is a reminder that we are in danger at all times."
"Emma, you are so bad at being around other people sometimes. You gotta mellow out."