An Orphan's War

by Molly Green

  ‘So when is it to be?’

  ‘Next month – Sunday the 6th of December.’

  Maxine went over to June and gave her a hug. ‘I’m so pleased for you,’ she said. ‘Murray sounds wonderful.’

  ‘He is,’ June laughed. ‘I can’t imagine being with anyone else.’ She looked at Maxine. ‘And I can’t wait for you to meet him, but it probably won’t be until the day, because he has so little time off.’

  ‘If you love him, then I like him already,’ Maxine said, smiling. ‘What about your wedding dress? Have you thought about it?’

  ‘I’ve thought and I’ve not come up with anything. I’m not a very good seamstress and material is rationed now. I can’t help thinking I shouldn’t be spending my coupons on anything as frivolous as a wedding dress.’

  ‘It’s your special day,’ Maxine said, ‘and it’s only natural you want to look special.’

  ‘Sometimes I wish I was in uniform and wouldn’t have to worry. That’s what a lot of girls in the forces do nowadays.’

  ‘No, that wouldn’t be right at all. With your colouring – that fair hair and gorgeous green eyes would be swallowed up in a dull uniform. You need something to enhance all that loveliness.’ Maxine looked the young matron up and down. She suddenly knew what she could do. ‘June, I made my own wedding dress as I’m pretty nifty with the needle and a sewing machine. I’m a bit taller than you and a size bigger but I’ll cut it down to fit you – if you like it, that is. I’ll get Mum to post it, as I’m not going home while we’ve still got German measles here.’

  June’s eyes went wide with delight. ‘Maxine, how very kind you are. But you might go somewhere where the dress would be perfect and it won’t fit you anymore.’

  Maxine shook her head. ‘I’d rather see you in it. It’s a lovely memory of Johnny on the day we got married, but I’d feel strange wearing it again when he’s no longer here.’ She drew her brows together, picturing the McCall’s pattern. ‘It has a little matching jacket which will be trickier to adjust.’ She thought for a moment. ‘You’ll need something warmer as it’ll be a winter wedding, whereas mine was September. I’m going to find some velvet or some kind of furry fabric like imitation astrakhan – though that might be difficult to come by – anyway I’ll make you a new warm jacket so it will look like a completely different outfit. What do you think?’

  June jumped from her chair and rushed over to kiss her. ‘I can’t thank you enough, Maxine.’ She hesitated, then said, ‘You called me Junie a few minutes ago.’

  ‘I’m sorry. It came out. I felt it suited you. I won’t anymore.’

  June smiled. ‘I liked it. Iris, the other nurse, used to call me Junie.’ Maxine heard her take in a deep breath. ‘And there was one other person. My sister, Clara. It reminds me of her, so please call me Junie.’

  Maxine heard the wobble in June’s voice. ‘You always seem upset when you mention Clara.’ She paused. ‘I don’t like to probe, but I feel there’s something more.’

  June nodded and pulled a chair closer. She smoothed the thick fair hair that she’d loosened from its pins and sighed, and Maxine could see it was difficult for her to start.

  ‘Don’t, if you don’t want to,’ Maxine said softly.

  June lowered her eyes and shook her head. She cleared her throat. ‘She was only eight.’

  ‘Oh, June, did she die?’

  ‘Yes.’ It was barely a whisper.

  Maxine touched her arm. ‘What happened?’

  She heard her friend swallow hard.

  ‘It was Dad. He was coming after her to thrash her – he’d hit her for any little reason – and she lost her balance on top of the landing and fell down the stairs. She died almost instantly. And I can’t … I just can’t forgive him.’ Tears rolled down her cheeks. ‘He had the nerve to ask me to give up my job when I’d only been here a few months – and go and look after him. He pretended he’d had an accident on watch duty and was in a wheelchair. I was so furious when I saw he was perfectly all right I threw a vase at him. It hit him on the head and I really thought I’d killed him. Sometimes I wished I had.’ She dissolved in tears.

  Maxine put her arms round her. ‘Junie,’ she whispered. ‘Don’t cry. I’m here. You have a friend. And you know I understand what it is to lose someone precious.’ She hugged June. ‘Is that why you wanted to work with children? For Clara’s sake?’

  June nodded. ‘I wanted to help vulnerable children. The job here was a dream come true.’ She looked up with tear-stained eyes. ‘And the strangest thing happened. On my first day, I met Lizzie curled up in a ball in Bertie’s kitchen. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Though she wasn’t yet four she was the spitting image of Clara. Only difference was the eye colour. Lizzie’s are brown and Clara’s are …’ she gulped and corrected herself, ‘were green.’

  ‘Like yours,’ Maxine said, offering her a handkerchief.

  June blew her nose and gave Maxine a weak smile. ‘That’s why Lizzie has always been so special to me.’

  ‘She’s a darling. You’ve done wonders.’

  June shook her head. ‘This home seems to have healing powers.’

  ‘I think I understand what you mean.’ Maxine was thoughtful. ‘When I first came I was surprised it had such a good atmosphere. I wasn’t sure how the children would be treated, how strict the teachers would be.’

  ‘It was awful when I first arrived,’ June said with feeling, ‘because the matron was so horrible – not just to me and the other staff – but to the children, especially those she considered the troublemakers.’

  ‘Yet they’re the ones who need help the most,’ Maxine said, ‘and Bingham Hall is jolly lucky to have you as matron.’ She studied her friend closely. ‘Are you feeling better now, Junie? About your father, I mean.’

  June’s face visibly relaxed. ‘I only learned recently from my Aunt Ada that he’s not my real father,’ she said, to Maxine’s surprise, ‘and since the accident I decided I would never see him again.’

  ‘Well, at least he can’t pass on any of his rotten ways,’ Maxine said mildly.

  ‘No,’ June agreed. ‘I just wish I could have known my real father better. I only knew him as Uncle Thomas and I dearly loved him as an uncle but he died when I was still a child.’

  ‘I’m sure he knew you loved him.’ Dear June. And then it hit her. It would be the same for Teddy, not knowing his father. Maxine swallowed the tears which threatened to fill her throat. It wouldn’t do for her to be caught weeping.

  ‘You’re going to start me off crying again,’ June said, smiling. She sniffed and reached for the handkerchief. ‘Not the way for a matron to behave.’

  ‘Luckily there’s no one here, then, to witness such a terrible spectacle.’ Maxine grinned. ‘So splash your face with some cold water and try to think where I can get some furry material for your new jacket.’

  ‘Judith never stops complaining,’ Kathleen said with a grimace, when Maxine went down to the ward the following afternoon. ‘I’ll be glad when she’s over the measles and out of my sight. She’s malingering, if you ask me, and totally unsuited for the job of teaching children.’ She rinsed the sink and squeezed out the dishcloth, hanging it over the tap. ‘Did you know she was a professor of modern languages at the Ladies’ College in Cambridge?’

  ‘No, I didn’t, but it might answer the question of her not really liking young children. She might feel resentful that this job is beneath her. I wonder why she left. Maybe something in her past is affecting her,’ Maxine mused.

  ‘Well, I can’t warm to her,’ Kathleen said. ‘She smokes like a chimney. How she has the money to buy all those cigarettes, I don’t know. She must have made friends with old Barney in the village shop because when I occasionally want to buy a packet he’s always short. The place stinks since she’s been here. The common room particularly.’ She wrinkled her nose. ‘I told her about it the other day. She just waved her fag in the air and said it was one of the mildest and it certainly wouldn’t be her
du Maurier that was causing the smell,’ Kathleen finished.

  Maxine laughed. ‘Well, they are supposed to be the posh cigarettes.’

  ‘Posh, my foot. She’s no one special. But she thinks she’s a cut above us.’ Kathleen rinsed her cup.

  There was a rap at the door and Hilda, as usual, stepped into the ward without knocking.

  ‘I’ve come to take over so you can both go to Matron’s meeting,’ she said, ‘even though I’ve not completely recovered from German measles’. She dumped her magazines on the desk and plonked down on the chair.

  ‘I wouldn’t have allowed you up if that had been the case,’ Maxine said, trying hard to keep the irritation out of her voice. ‘Anyway, I doubt we’ll be long.’

  June looked round the small group and smiled her welcome.

  ‘We’re planning to have a new member of staff joining us,’ she said. ‘Another nurse. It’s so hard for Maxine and Kathleen to do twelve-hour shifts. So Maxine has agreed to do part-time nursing and helping me part-time with the children, so it should ease the nursing situation, and also my own.’ There were murmurs of agreement. ‘Unfortunately, we’ve only had a handful of replies because most nurses are in the forces. And out of them, only one has the right qualifications. So I’ve invited a Pat Baker along for an interview today.’ She looked at her watch. ‘In fact, she’ll be along in an hour or so. Maxine and Kathleen’ – she directed her gaze towards the two nurses – ‘can you both make yourselves available when she comes. I’d like to have your opinion as you’ll be working closer with her.’

  ‘I just hope this Pat Baker is nice,’ Kathleen said, as they shut June’s door behind them after the short meeting. ‘We don’t need another Judith in the home.’

  ‘I’m sure she will be. Probably relieved not to have to deal with the broken bodies of soldiers,’ Maxine said fervently, remembering the terrible cases which seemed to have come unendingly to her ward in St Thomas’.

  Kathleen sped off and as Maxine stepped into the Great Hall she noticed a thin young man seated by the blazing fire, his head down and rubbing his hands together. Even from a distance his hands looked blue with cold.

  ‘Are you here to see someone?’ Maxine asked.

  He turned and stared at her with pale eyes. She noticed his sandy-coloured hair was already receding, and his neatly trimmed but meagre moustache had several gaps, showing his pale skin and giving him a vulnerable appearance. She felt a little sorry for him. He’d obviously failed his test to join up, though of course he could be in civvies. She’d never seen him before, but maybe the fish man or the postman or someone had been taken ill and he was filling in.

  The young man immediately shot up and gave her a timid smile.

  ‘I’m sorry, Nurse.’ Ellen bustled up. ‘I was looking for Matron.’

  ‘May I help?’ Maxine said. ‘Perhaps I can tell Matron who it is who wants to see her.’

  ‘Pat Baker,’ the young man said. ‘For the nursing position.’

  ‘Oh.’ Maxine gave a start. June had assumed Pat Baker was a female applicant by the way she’d referred to him as a ‘she’ throughout their recent meeting. She wondered what June would have to say about it. If she’d think it was appropriate for the children. On balance it was probably a good idea, as most of them had no dads and this might help in a very small way to bridge the gap. Besides, they’d had male nurses at St Thomas’ and no one had thought anything of it. Maxine hid a smile. The others were in for a surprise.

  ‘Very pleased to meet you,’ she said. ‘I’m Nurse Taylor.’ She held out her hand and he took hers in his own thin cold one, giving a brisk shake, then let it fall back to his side again. ‘I’ll take you to Matron’s office.’ She’d fetch Kathleen when Mr Baker was settled with a cup of tea.

  ‘Do sit down,’ June said, as they stepped into her office, not showing any surprise, though to Maxine’s amusement she caught her eye and gave an almost imperceptible wink. ‘Did you bring your credentials, Mr Baker?’

  ‘Oh, yes, they’re here.’ He opened a leather document folder and brought out some official papers.

  June glanced at them and nodded and handed them over to Maxine.

  She noticed he was an SRN, so would be her senior. Inwardly she shrugged. It didn’t matter so long as he was a nice person who was good with children. He’d gained experience at two of the hospitals in Liverpool and had exceptional references. She studied the papers again and saw he was twenty-four. So why wasn’t he in the forces? Just as she was thinking this, June said, ‘Was there any reason why you’ve not joined up, Mr Baker?’

  He lowered his head and stared at the floor.

  ‘Mr Baker,’ June repeated. ‘It’s important for me to know. If you have some sort of disability, we need to be aware of it. You’ll be looking after children as well as adults.’

  ‘Yes, I realise that,’ the young man said, raising his eyes and glancing at both women. ‘I want to do my bit to help people – use my nursing skills.’

  ‘But aren’t they desperately in need of people like you in the army?’ June persisted.

  He nodded.

  ‘So why were you turned down?’

  ‘I didn’t apply to the army or any of the other branches. You see, I’m a CO.’

  Maxine and June looked at one another.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ June said. ‘I’m not sure what you mean.’

  Mr Baker bowed his head for a moment, then looked up defiantly. ‘I’m a conscientious objector.’

  Maxine’s eyes widened. She heard June give a sharp intake of breath. This was serious. She’d read that conscientious objectors were quite often sent to jail, or if they managed to avoid it, given the worst jobs possible. Called cowards and all sorts of awful names. But here was one looking perfectly normal and pleasant, though he was shifting in his seat, obviously embarrassed he’d had to explain to two women why he wasn’t fighting for king and country.

  ‘I’ll have to refer the decision about something so serious to Mr Clarke at Dr Barnardo’s headquarters, in that case,’ June told him.

  Pat Baker eagerly leaned forward. ‘I’d be really grateful, Miss Lavender, if you’d put in a good word,’ he said. ‘I need this job. Need to prove to my family that I’m not a coward and I’m willing to work hard but I don’t believe in murdering people – which is how I look at it. It’s against my religion. I just want peace.’

  ‘We all do,’ June said, briskly. ‘But if we don’t put up a fight, we’ll be overtaken by the Germans. Doing what they want us to do. Speaking their language.’ She leaned forward and put her hands on the desk. ‘Is that what you’re prepared to let happen?’

  Maxine was taken aback by June’s outburst even though she heartily agreed. She was about to add her own piece but decided it wasn’t her place. June was the matron. She would simply listen and speak if spoken to.

  ‘I just don’t want to kill anyone. There has to be another way.’

  ‘I’m not sure what,’ June said. Then her face relaxed. ‘Well, we’re not here to make moral judgements – we simply need another nurse.’

  ‘Did anyone else apply for the position?’ Pat Baker asked humbly.

  ‘A few,’ June admitted, ‘but none of them were suitably qualified. That’s why I asked you to come for an interview. Your credentials were exactly what we’re looking for.’

  ‘Then give me a chance, Miss Lavender,’ he said, his eyes pleading. ‘Please don’t tell headquarters. They’ll report me and I could end up in jail. It would be such a waste when there’s a desperate shortage of nurses.’

  June glanced at Maxine, who gave a tiny nod, then looked directly at the young man. ‘I’ll talk it over with Nurse Taylor,’ she said, ‘but I can’t promise anything. I’ll let you know our decision in a few days’ time.’

  Just as Pat Baker opened his mouth, there was the roar of a plane. His face turned grey. ‘It doesn’t sound like one of ours,’ he said as he sprang for the door.

  Maxine’s heart pounded as she and
June shot to their feet. For a split second her brain froze.

  ‘Shelters!’ June ordered as they rushed into the hall.

  Seconds later children were pouring down the stairs, shouting and running to the front door.

  ‘Go to the shelters!’ Barbara shouted from the rear. ‘Two-by-two. Hold hands. Quickly!’

  Maxine ran after Pat Baker through the hall, grabbing Daisy and Doris. She saw him take hold of Betsy, then Beth who was screaming for her brother. Lenny caught up and grabbed his sister’s hand and Maxine flew after them, gripping the twins. To her relief, she saw Charlie was unbolting the heavy door. A cold blast of air met her full on, as the children and staff pounded behind, Daisy and Doris clinging on either side of her like limpets.

  ‘Mr Baker, this way!’ Maxine called in the dusk, as she saw him heading in the opposite direction.

  The plane was flying low – so close now she could just make out the ominous black crosses. Instinctively she pulled Daisy and Doris down with her, keeping an arm around each as she pressed their noses into the grass. She cricked her neck as the pilot jettisoned his bomb and roared upwards. The last thing she saw was Pat Baker and the three children being hurled to the ground as the bomb exploded, followed by a whooshing noise. Then smoke. And a terrible burning smell which instantly plunged her into the memory of the Nurses’ Wing at St Thomas’ when she’d been desperately searching for her friend. The horror when she’d discovered Anna had died in that inferno – the same way as Anna’s own father, a London firemen. Maxine swallowed the bile that rose in her throat.

  Dear God. Another explosion, further away. Silence – except for her heart thundering in her ears. Then sobbing. It was Daisy.

  ‘It’s all right, my love. You’re safe with me. Don’t cry. You’ll start Doris off.’ She tried to swallow, but now her mouth was dry and tasted of metal. ‘Come on – the nasty man has gone now. We’ll go back into the house.’