An Orphan's War

by Molly Green

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous.’ She threw a glare at Maxine. ‘Now, what were you saying? Oh, yes – the married man.’ She emphasised ‘married’. ‘What was he – a doctor?’

  ‘A distinguished surgeon.’

  ‘Then he should have known better dallying with an innocent young girl.’

  ‘Hardly innocent, Mum. I was married.’

  Her mother drew in a sharp breath. ‘Don’t tell me you went to bed with this man, Maxine – distinguished surgeon or not. I couldn’t bear it if you did.’ Maxine felt the heat rush from her neck to her cheeks. She couldn’t answer. Her mother caught her eye. ‘Don’t say another word,’ she warned her daughter sharply. ‘I can see in your face that you did.’ She shook her head. ‘I find it almost impossible to believe. We didn’t bring you up like that.’ Suddenly she burst into tears and sank her head into her hands.

  A spurt of anger rose in Maxine’s chest. Why couldn’t her mother be human, just for once, and show some motherly love? All she thought about was a scandal which would bring shame to the family. As if Mickey hadn’t already brought plenty himself.

  ‘Maybe now you can see why I didn’t want to discuss it,’ Maxine said bitterly. ‘But as far as scandal, no one at the hospital suspected. And I was completely taken in. I thought we were going to be married. When I found out he already had a wife, I came back to Liverpool.’

  She would go to her grave before she told her mother anything more – about Teddy. It was simply too painful to discuss, and goodness knew what it would do to her mother in the state she was in at the moment with the idea her daughter had gone to bed with a married man, let alone had an illegitimate baby.

  ‘Well, you’re best out of it.’ Mrs Grey sat up, then leaned back on her chair and closed her eyes. ‘Wipe the slate clean and make sure you learn your lesson from it. This Mr Wells, from the little I saw of him, appears genuine.’ Her eyes flew open as though she’d suddenly thought of something important. ‘But for heaven’s sake don’t spill all that out to him. No man likes to think the woman he’s chosen for a bride is tainted.’

  Tainted. Not for the first time Maxine thought how old-fashioned her mother was. How much she clung to the old rules.

  ‘Luckily I won’t have to face that problem,’ Maxine muttered under her breath.

  ‘Will you make a fresh pot of tea, Maxine?’ her mother said. ‘Mr Ramsbotham gave me a copy of your father’s will. I’ll read it out, but be prepared, dear. I’m sure your father will have left you a little something. I often thought you were his favourite, but our Mickey is the firstborn and his son – so he will be the one to have the lion’s share, of course. I still don’t understand why he promised he’d be at the funeral and didn’t turn up.’ She looked at Maxine with anxious eyes. ‘I hope he’s all right – not ill, or anything. He should be here when we read the will. I shan’t be expecting anything, though your father should have heeded me when he won the pools that time. I wanted him to use it for a down payment on a house of our own. No, he wouldn’t listen and we had to rent because your father wasn’t ambitious – that’s why I wanted the best for you …’

  Maxine thought she would scream if her mother didn’t stop. She rose to make the tea.

  ‘Your father never thought to mention to me, his wife, where he put his will,’ Mrs Grey carried on as soon as Maxine returned with the tea tray, ‘but luckily he left a copy with our solicitor.’ She slit open the envelope with a paperknife and unfolded the document. She adjusted her glasses and began to read. The minutes ticked by. Finally, she looked up and gazed at Maxine with an odd expression. ‘There must be some mistake.’

  ‘What kind of mistake?’

  Her mother looked at the will again with a deepening frown. ‘I’d better read it to you.’

  Something was patently wrong. A feeling that she was not in the room – that her feet were not solidly on the floor – stole over Maxine.

  ‘I leave my wife, Edna, five hundred pounds and the rest of my savings amounting to just over two thousand pounds at the time of writing this will to my beloved daughter, Maxine, and any chattels my wife does not want. I particularly want Maxine to have my camera collection as I believe it has some value.’ Mrs Grey paused and seemed to find it difficult to read out the next sentence. She cleared her throat. ‘To my son, Michael George, I leave twenty-five pounds only.’

  Maxine drew a sudden intake of breath. Could there be some mistake? Her mother looked up from the document and stared at her daughter, shaking her head in bewilderment. Maxine swallowed. Mickey was going to be furious. Her heart missed a beat at the mood he would take when he found out. Well, she wasn’t going to be the one to give him such news. Her mother would have to do it. As they held one another’s gaze, Maxine saw fear in her mother’s eyes.

  ‘We could never agree on how to spend his winnings,’ she said finally, stopping to wipe a tear from her eye. ‘And to leave our Mickey only twenty-five pounds and you two thousand …’ There was almost wonder in her voice. ‘Whatever will the lad say when he finds out? If anybody needs it, he does.’ An anxious expression crept over her large features. ‘But it seems, dear, I was right – you were your dad’s favourite, after all.’

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Exactly one week later Maxine was back at Bingham Hall. From the moment Charlie helped her with her luggage, taking it to her room, she felt a weight lift from her shoulders. She didn’t have to listen to her mother complaining or going over and over why her husband hadn’t left their son more. Maxine hadn’t even tried to explain that Mickey was trouble. That he would have gambled any monies away without a thought of the hard graft his father had gone through to achieve it. And that maybe Dad had thought along the same lines and had decided he wasn’t going to encourage his son.

  Two thousand pounds was a vast sum of money though, and it needed careful thought. Maybe she could help Crofton become a photographer. Start his own business. He might be able to use the cameras her father had left her. Then she scolded herself. Any dreams she’d had to spend the rest of her life with him were shattered. She hadn’t heard from him since that ghastly day and didn’t think she ever would. Her life was here now with the children. She’d put some money away for Teddy’s future … She daren’t think any further.

  She looked round the room she shared with Kathleen. Something was different. Where were Kathleen’s bits and pieces, usually spread out over the chest of drawers, her book by her bed? There was no sign of the young nurse.

  She ran downstairs and tapped on June’s office door and immediately June closed a file she was reading and came from behind her desk and hugged her.

  ‘I’m so glad to see you,’ she said, her wide smile practically splitting her face in two. ‘What did you think about having the room to yourself? I found a separate room for Kathleen on the top floor – my old room when I was first here. Don’t know why I didn’t think of it before – probably because it was rather grim when I had it, but Charlie’s given it a lick of paint and I ran up some new curtains – well, out of some old material – but it’s much brighter now.’

  ‘It’s lovely to have a room to myself,’ Maxine admitted, sitting on the visitor’s chair, ‘though Kathleen was no bother and I hardly saw her with doing separate shifts.’

  June nodded. ‘Your face looks a bit thinner,’ she said. ‘All the upset, I expect. I’m so sorry about your father.’

  ‘I was so lucky to have him,’ Maxine said, feeling the sudden prick of tears. ‘He was a wonderful father – just wasn’t a match for Mum. But I’m glad it’s over – he had a lot of pain.’ She smiled. ‘Don’t let’s talk about it. I’m just so happy to be back.’

  ‘Has it taken you long to get here?’ June asked.

  ‘The buses are still erratic, but it wasn’t too bad. I think the drivers are getting used to all the diversions.’

  ‘Let’s have tea and you can tell me anything you want to. You know it won’t go further.’

  After Bertie had left the tea tray,
Maxine poured out all that had happened – Mickey turning up unexpectedly, then Crofton, Mickey telling Crofton about the baby … June gasped but didn’t interrupt.

  ‘Then Mickey asked me in front of Mum if I’d told her about the baby, but it was only a few minutes later that Dad died,’ Maxine said shuddering, ‘so Mum didn’t really take it in at that moment. But after the funeral and she’d calmed down she remembered what Mickey had said. I hoped she’d thought it was just a figure of speech but she kept questioning me. I managed not to say anything, but it was awful. She thinks I’ve brought enough shame on the family by having an affair with a married man – even though I kept repeating that I never dreamed he was married.’

  ‘Gosh, you poor thing,’ June said. ‘One shock after the next.’

  ‘Not the only shock.’ Maxine bit her lip. ‘Dad left me practically all his savings – two thousand pounds, and Mickey just twenty-five pounds.’

  ‘Good gracious.’ June’s jaw dropped. ‘Whatever will you do with so much money? It’s more than enough to buy a house.’

  Maxine’s eyes widened. ‘I hadn’t even thought of that. I’ll put it in savings, first of all. Take my time to think. But keep some back for a few treats for the children with Christmas round the corner.’

  ‘That would be wonderful.’ June smiled. ‘How kind and generous you are.’ Maxine was silent. June touched her hand. ‘What about Crofton? You haven’t told me his reaction to Mickey’s outburst.’

  Tears filled Maxine’s eyes. ‘He asked if it was true and I said it was. He said now wasn’t the right time to talk and he would leave me in peace. But I haven’t had any peace since he left, thinking I didn’t trust him enough or care for him enough to tell him about little Teddy.’

  She broke down in sobs, and June immediately jumped up and closed the door. Maxine felt her friend’s arm slip round her shoulder.

  ‘What are you going to do about him?’ June’s voice was gentle.

  ‘What can I do?’ She looked up, her face running with tears. ‘He couldn’t have made it plainer that he wants nothing more to do with me.’

  ‘I don’t believe it,’ June said firmly. ‘I’ve seen the way he looks at you. You don’t just turn the tap off like that. He needs time to take it in – it’s a shock for him, too, but I’m sure he’ll come round.’

  ‘I don’t want him to come round,’ Maxine snapped, then caught June’s hurt look. ‘I’m sorry, Junie. I didn’t mean to take it out on you when you’re only trying to help. But I’m so het up.’

  ‘Of course you are with what you’ve been through. But work will help – I know it’s true. When I thought Murray had been killed, it stopped me from losing my mind. Besides’ – she smiled – ‘the children keep asking when Nurse Maxine is coming back.’

  Maxine couldn’t help smiling back. ‘That’s the best news I’ve had in quite a while,’ she said.

  Maxine went over and over her last disastrous meeting with Crofton. Whatever must he have thought of her? She found herself changing a bed in the ward which she’d only just changed an hour before – even though there’d been no occupier, her eyes brimming over with tears. She couldn’t carry on like this or she’d start making serious mistakes and June would be forced to give her the sack.

  Come on, Maxine, pull yourself together. You love this job and the children. You’ll never get another opportunity like this with such a lovely person as June in charge.

  But it didn’t stop her from feeling sick with apprehension – would Crofton ever take the trouble to ask her to explain?

  Christmas came and went. She didn’t know how she got through it and it was only the children who unwittingly saved her from breaking down. She gave Peter as much attention as she could without causing the other children to be jealous, sad that they still weren’t including him much in their games outside the classroom.

  But when the New Year slipped in and still there was nothing and she thought she must face the fact she’d lost Crofton, June handed her a letter one cold, dark morning.

  ‘Is it from him?’ June asked pointedly.

  ‘Maybe.’ She was certain by the way her pulse was racing that it must surely be from him.

  ‘I daren’t open it,’ she said, her eyes glinting with tears. ‘It must be bad news. If he’d forgiven me he would telephone.’

  ‘Not necessarily,’ June said. ‘Do you want me to sit with you while you read it?’

  ‘That’s kind of you but I’ll go up to my room for a few minutes, if that’s all right.’

  ‘Take as much time as you need,’ June said. ‘You’re not on duty for another hour.’

  Maxine sat on the edge of her bed and tore open the envelope with her fingers. With shaking hand she pulled out the two sheets. Her heart leapt at the first words:

  My dearest Maxine,

  I’m so terribly sorry not to have been able to get in touch with you. There was an emergency at sea. It’s a long story and I’m not able to speak about it except to say I’m safe and not injured badly – unlike some of the men. As soon as the doc fixed me up I was given compassionate leave as my mother was suddenly rushed to hospital with a stroke. I stayed with her for over two weeks as she couldn’t speak at all and hardly moved, but am glad to say she’s slowly but surely on the mend.

  But this letter isn’t about me. It’s you I’m concerned about. You must have thought I was so shocked or angry (or both) with your brother’s disgraceful outburst that I didn’t want to see you again. It’s the very opposite.

  Darling Maxine, you must have gone through such a terrible time feeling you could tell no one about your baby. But I want you to know you can tell me anything and I would never think less of you – not for a minute. I imagine you have had him adopted and you must hang on to the fact that the parents love and cherish him, just as I know you do.

  I love you and always will. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me for rushing off as I did, I promise I will never leave you in such a way ever again. You can rely on that.

  Please write back what is in your heart.

  Your Crofton

  Maxine read the letter again, tears streaming down her face, but this time they were tears of joy. He loved her and still wanted her in spite of everything. She couldn’t wait to tell him all that was in her heart. In fact, she couldn’t wait to write a letter. She’d ask June if she could telephone him that very evening.

  ‘Maxine! I’m so happy you’ve phoned. Did you get my letter?’

  Maxine swallowed. He only had to say her name and she was all of a flutter.

  ‘I – um – yes, I received the letter a few hours ago.’

  ‘Are you all right?’ His tone was urgent.

  ‘Yes, I’m all right. I’m more than all right. I wanted to hear your voice – to make sure you were all right.’

  ‘I am now I’ve heard from you, my darling.’ There was a long pause.

  ‘Crofton?’

  ‘I’m here. I just need to know something.’ He paused. ‘Have you forgiven me?’

  ‘Me forgive you?’ Maxine felt a pricking behind her eyes. ‘It’s the other way round.’

  ‘It wasn’t like me to leave you like that. But if I hadn’t left that minute I would have landed a punch on that brother of yours. I could see immediately what his game was. How could he treat you so cruelly?’

  ‘He’s always been horrible to me, ever since we were children. He’s brighter than me in many ways but he was lazy and wouldn’t study, whereas I always had to work hard at school and he’d taunt me. “Goody Two-Shoes”, he used to call me.’ She blinked back the threatening tears. Her brother had actually set out to ruin her life. ‘Would you really have gone for him?’

  ‘I was angry enough to.’ Crofton’s voice was serious. ‘His announcement brought back some painful memories for me, as you can imagine. Then your father was so ill that I didn’t want to load anything more on you. And when I felt we might both be calmer and could discuss things, I had some difficulties at work –
one after the other.’

  ‘It doesn’t matter now. I understand.’

  ‘Do you really?’

  ‘Crofton, listen to me. I love you. I love you more than anything in the world.’

  You and Teddy, her heart whispered. She took a deep breath. ‘But I thought I’d lost you when you left so suddenly.’

  There was another pause – this time so long she wondered if the line had gone dead.

  ‘Crofton – are you still there?’

  ‘Oh, darling,’ his voice was warm with relief, ‘if you knew how happy you’ve made me. This telephone is coming between us. How can I propose to you along a wire?’

  Maxine couldn’t help smiling. ‘It’s probably been done before,’ she said. ‘And the reply has probably been said before as well. If not, I’ll start off a new fashion.’ She took a deep breath. ‘Yes, please, Crofton.’

  ‘I haven’t actually asked you yet,’ he teased, and she could picture his grin.

  ‘I know, but in case you do, you have my answer.’

  ‘Good.’ He gave his deep infectious laugh. ‘That means when I do ask you – which I prefer to do in person – I know I shan’t have to face rejection.’

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  On the very day Maxine arranged to see Crofton, June went down with a heavy cold. Swallowing her disappointment, Maxine said, ‘The best place for you is in the hospital ward where we can look after you.’

  ‘Honestly, it’s nothing,’ June said, sneezing four times in quick succession. ‘Just the usual winter cold.’

  ‘Maybe, but we don’t want it to develop into influenza,’ Maxine said firmly. ‘And I’m not keen on running back and forth to your cottage in this rotten weather.’

  ‘Oh, I’m sorry, Maxine.’ June looked contrite. ‘I didn’t think of that. But what about your arrangement with Crofton this afternoon?’

  ‘It doesn’t matter,’ Maxine said untruthfully. ‘We can make another time.’

  ‘Don’t alter it,’ June said frowning. ‘It’s too important. Tell him to come here in my office. It’s more private if you shut the door. You’ll be in here today anyway, as my stand-in.’