by Marie Cole
Once my panties were off his boxers were next, and before I could blink again he was on top of me. He was kissing me, then he slid his tip through my wetness and slowly slipped it inside. I felt the heat in my face and stayed still beneath him not sure what was going on. I kept my eyes closed, and wondered, briefly, where the pizza was. And how long sex usually took. And when it was supposed to be good.
He pulled back and reached into his bedside table drawer pulling out a condom. I heard the rip as the plastic made way for the rubber. He slid it on slowly, allowing me a look at his penis and then resumed his position. “You’re so hot, baby…”
He pushed forward, slipping into my tightness, he felt a little resistance but didn’t stop, instead he thrust through and I bit my lower lip as I cried out.
“Fuck!” He groaned still going painfully slowly, I felt the ache start to dull down and soon I wanted him moving.
“Please,” I begged softly and his hips started to move spastically. His bit on his lower lip and threw his head back.
“I can’t…I can’t…FUCK!” He shouted at the same moment that he came inside me, I guessed. I didn’t feel anything but he retreated and then left to go clean up in the bathroom leaving me alone. I felt like I had been split between my thighs. I rolled off the bed and slipped my clothes back on. The end credits weren’t even rolling yet but I was ready to go.
I wasn’t sure if he realized he’d just taken my virginity but surely if he did he knew he was being a dick right now. Or was he? Maybe he was giving me privacy so that I could clean up or cry or leave or all of the above. I wasn’t going to stick around to ask him in any case. I frowned as I left his room, the asshole took my virginity and didn’t even buy me dinner first.
I wouldn’t be so stupid the next time a man flashed his cute smile my way.
Chapter 3
After I showered to wash away the shame I called my old roommate, Stacy, and asked her to meet me at the gym. I had to tell someone what had happened and I knew she would keep it to herself.
She was already waiting outside as I arrived and I hooked my arm in hers as I pulled her inside with me.
The gym was empty around the cardio equipment. Just mirrors and TVs to greet us. There were free weights on the other side of the mirrored walls, but no one ever used those. And if they were being used you could usually tell by all the grunting and man noises.
“Thanks for meeting me,” I said as we made our way to the stairclimbers. I was still very sore but I was hoping that the burning I would make my legs feel would take my mind off of it.
“Sure thing, thanks for saving me from eating a whole pizza by myself,” she grinned as she stepped on the machine beside me.
“Anytime. So…” I sighed and shook my head. I started slow on the machine, wincing a little.
“So…” she waited for me to begin.
“I met this guy at the g—“ I stopped myself and looked around in case he was here. I looked back at Stacy, no sign of Kyle. “At the gym. God he was so cute and funny.”
Stacy nodded as she listened, her eyes on me.
“And you know, I’ve been so hung up on you-know-who and so ashamed of my body that I didn’t date or anything. Well…” I let my words trail off as I watched Stacy’s eyes widen.
“You went on a date?!” She sounded so thrilled for me. I hated to have to burst her happy bubble but this wasn’t what the meeting was about.
I nodded slowly and sucked in my lower lip. “Yes…kind of,” I groaned and shook my head in shame.
“Kind of? How can you kind of go on a date?” Her shoulders drooped. “Oh God! Did he take you to McDonald’s or something?”
“I think a date at McDonald’s would’ve been better.”
Stacy’s eyes widened more and I was worried that they might pop out of her head. “Well don’t keep me waiting,” her climbing grew faster to match her anticipation.
“Sorry. He invited me over to his dorm. And when I got there he told me that he’d ordered pizza and that we could watch a movie while we waited for it to come.”
“Okay,” she sounded apprehensive.
“Well, so I picked Vanilla Sky and we were sitting on his bed. He was rubbing my back and stuff. It was nice. And then he played down behind me and pulled him down next to him. His hand went to my hip and then it started to slide under my shirt. Are you really ticklish there?”
She thought about it for a second and then shrugged. “Sometimes. Depends on how horny I am, how softly he does it.”
I nodded, filing that away for later, “Anyway, I laughed because it tickled really bad and pulled his hand away. He tried again and this time he got all the way up my shirt and he was kissing my neck and stuff.”
She nodded, wanting to hear more.
“Anyway, so we did it. He took my virginity, and none too nicely either. He just pumped in a few times and then rolled off me and went to the bathroom.”
Her feet slowed as she stared at me. “Wait…you guys did it on your first date?”
I chewed the inside of my lip and nodded, avoiding looking at her now. I already felt a bit slutty and she just confirmed that it was indeed rather slutty to let a guy into your pants on the first date.
“Elly! You have to make the guy wait at least three dates before you give him some milk, as that dumb saying goes.”
I nodded slowly.
“So what happened after that? Did he come in and say something crude?” she demanded.
I shook my head, staring at the teeth whitening commercial that was silently playing on the TV. “No. I got dressed and left.”
I heard the the thud of a weight hitting the floor on the other side of the mirror just before Kent came around the corner. He had a towel around his neck and lots of sweat pouring out of him, his muscle shirt clinging to him. I gasped and my chest squeezed tightly as fear pumped through me and my feet stopped moving.
Oh no, no, no. Did Kent hear what I’d just said?
I heard Stacy moan softly beside me as she, I assumed, took in the sight of my estranged friend. She leaned over and whispered to me, “Forget that pizza guy. You should move on to someone like him.”
"Vanilla Sky?" Kent inquired with a raise of his eyebrow. "Really?" The question hung there for a moment before he spoke again. "I pegged you losing it to Princess Bride." He grinned.
I felt tears pricking at my eyes. He'd heard. He'd heard everything and he thought it was a joke. He thought I was a joke. He thought a guy taking my virginity was hilarious. I was so ashamed and embarrassed that I couldn't look at him. I jumped off the machine and ran to the lady’s locker room.
I heard Stacy yelling my name just before I sunk onto the teak slotted bench. Almost as soon as I sat down there was a knock at the door and Kent’s voice drifted through it.
“Elly. I was just having some fun. Please, come out.”
Having fun? My pain was fun for him? We’d seen each other a total of thirty minutes in the past several months and he thought it gave him the liberty to poke fun at me? “I can’t believe you said that! Go away!”
I wiped at my burning eyes and stared at my knees. Briefly I wondered where the hell Stacy was. She was supposed to have my back and fend off stupid boys. All of them. Especially right now since I’d just had the worst male experience of my life. Or close to it.
"Either you come out, or I'm coming in,” he said from the other side of the door. "You know I was just messing with you."
Messing with me. Hmph. The only one messing with me was that bastard Kyle and he wouldn’t be doing it anymore. I wished at that moment that Kyle were the one about to bust through the door so I could kick him squarely in his balls. Didn’t his mother teach him any manners?
After a few seconds I heard him counting, “One…Two…”
I stayed right where I was. I didn’t think Kent had the balls to come into the girl’s locker room. He might see naked bodies or something and that would be too much for his newly lasered eyeballs to handle. I cros
sed my arms over my chest and waited for him to go away. I could outlast him.
I was surprised by how quickly my pain was turning into anger. The door opened and there was Kent standing in it. "If there's any other women in here, I'm sorry. I got a friend to talk to,” he had one hand over his eyes, the fingers were cracked so they weren't completely covered.
“I’m not your friend, not anymore.” I turned around so my back was to him. Seriously, where the hell was Stacy?
“Riddle me this. How many times did you sigh when Wesley finally got Princess Buttercup? How many quotes do you know from the movie?”
What the hell was he going on about? I frowned to myself as I tried to ignore him, but of course he kept going.
“Or was it just me who enjoyed it?” he asked me.
My mouth ached to open and say something smart alecky but I kept it closed.
I heard Kent sigh from behind me. "I guess maybe I was the one who wanted that for myself." There was a moment of silence before he continued, "I'm happy for you, Elly. I guess I cut a joke because I wasn’t the first one you told. You used to tell me everything. "
I stood up and turned around, unable to keep it in any longer. “That was before you-know-who took you from me! But it doesn’t matter and don’t be fucking happy for me! It was awful and I never want to have sex again!”
Stacy crept into the locker room and cleared her throat softly. It was about damn time!
"You can't swear off sex. It is an amazing thing. You'll like it, I promise,” his hand moved away from his eyes and he turned his head to look at Stacy who waved at him. The traitor. One look from Kent and she was as harmless as a sleeping kitten.
“Jesus. Should I leave you two alone?” I motioned between them.
Stacy’s eyes finally looked at me and she shook her head, “No, no! But he’s right. You can’t swear off sex because of that jerk.”
I covered my eyes with my hand and let out a deep sigh. Why was this happening to me? What had I ever done to deserve this?
"Elly. I'm sorry for cracking the joke. I really am, okay?" He sounded sorry but I wasn’t going to let him get off that easily. He should’ve known better than to say something so stupid.
I lowered my hand, the tears were still threatening to spill as I looked at him, his pitiful expression only making me feel worse. “How sorry are you? Sorry enough to let me punch you?”
Stacy gasped, “Elly! Don’t punch him!”
He covered his junk with both hands and nodded, “Go ahead. Punch it out.” He closed his eyes tightly and his body tensed.
I looked between him and Stacy and sighed softly. “It’s not you I want to punch. Not really.”
Stacy exhaled in relief as Kent’s eyes opened. “So you don’t want to hit me now?” his hands slowly moved back to his sides.
As I stared at him the image of who I really wanted to hurt was in my head. Kyle, Kyle who had hurt me and had taken the one thing that I hadn’t even really wanted to give to him. I couldn’t ever get that back. I couldn’t get that moment back. That’s what hurt the most.
I pressed my lips together tightly so that I wouldn’t sob and shook my head, my eyes dropped as the tears spilled down my cheeks. It felt like an eternity before I felt Kent’s strong, warm arms come around me.
“Quit crying. We’re gonna go do something fun,” he said softly. He swayed slowly with me in his arms.
“Like what?” My voice sounded foreign to my ears, it was thick with tears.
“Can’t tell you that, Els. It would ruin the surprise.”
Chapter 4
After we’d both showered and I’d said goodbye to Stacy, Kent put me in his crappy car and ran around to join me. I settled back into the passenger seat which used to fit my body like a glove. It sagged a bit now. I buckled up and smiled as he did the same. “Are you going to tell me where we’re going now?”
“No. Quit asking or I’ll turn this car around.”
I scoffed, “I dare you.”
He looked over at me with a sly grin on his lips, “You dare me, huh?”
I met his grin with a challenging lift of my eyebrows and an indifferent shrug of my shoulders. “Yep. Turn this car around. See if I care,” I said. He turned the car on and carefully backed out of the space as some offending metal band screamed through the speakers. “Oh my god! How can you listen to that?” I covered one ear and put the other to my shoulder to try to block it out as I reached forward with my other hand to turn it off.
He was snickering beside me. “It gets me out of my head for a little while.”
“What’s wrong with being inside your head?”
“Lots of things. So… it was awful, huh?”
I really didn’t want to talk about this. Not with him. He obviously didn’t take it seriously. I’d been sober when I’d lost mine, unlike Kent had been, and I would remember every single detail for the rest of my life.
“Yep. It wasn’t great, that’s for sure.”
“Well if it makes you feel any better it wasn’t really good for me until…,” he trailed off and then sighed. “Alright, I can’t lie to you. It’s pretty much always good for me. But I’m a guy. I am pretty sure that it’s different for you chicks.”
His tone was relaxed but his body was tense, he gripped the steering wheel tightly, showing white knuckles. And he kept clenching his jaw, it flickered beneath his skin.
“We don’t have to talk about this, you know.” I looked out the window, “I’d actually prefer it if we didn’t talk about this. It’s…weird.”
He sighed loudly and he mumbled, “Thank god,” under his breath. His body instantly relaxed behind the wheel. I shook my head a little. Same old Kent. Sex and me didn’t go together. Ever. Not in his world. That much hadn’t changed.
I looked around as we pulled into a parking spot, trying to figure out where he’d taken us. The bright white sign above the building was a dead giveaway. He’d brought me to the liquor store. I looked at him and frowned. “What are we doing here? Neither of us are old enough to get booze.”
He put his hand on my shoulder and gave me a look of pity. “Oh, Els. You stay here, you can’t go in there, you’d blow my cover.” He chuckled as he got out of his car and went into the store. I looked around nervously as I waited for him. What if a cop came and saw me in the car outside the liquor store? What if a robber came by and tried to do the deed while we were here? What if… I didn’t get to finish my thought because Kent came back to the car with a large brown paper bag in his arm. He tried to the handle but I’d locked the car. He knocked on the window and then stooped down to look at me. He cocked his head to the side and raised his eyebrows causing me to giggle.
His voice was muffled through the glass, “Come on, Elly. Open the damn door.” He stood back up and looked around, waiting for me.
I unlocked the door and then, just before he could open it, I locked it again. He stooped down and frowned. “Elly!”
I grinned some more. I could’ve done that all night but when I noticed that a cop had pulled up a few spaces down I unlocked the door and hunched down in my seat. Kent got in casually and twisted around to put the bag in the backseat. “Play it cool, Els. You’re going to get us caught.”
I shook my head, staying low in my seat as the cops got out of their cruiser. My view was blocked when Kent’s body came over mine, his head ducking between my neck and shoulder. His breath on my skin tickled and caused me to giggle and push him away. I tried, anyway, but he was too heavy. “Kent!”
“Just pretend I’m making out with you, weirdo.”
“Won’t that make them stare?”
There was a pause before he pulled away and started the car. “You’re right.” He tugged on my seatbelt and then pulled out of his parking spot. I wasn’t sure where we were going now, but with alcohol involved it was sure to be a good time regardless, right?
We drove for fifteen minutes, through the city, past the suburbs and onto a few winding roads until we stopped i
n front of a very tall metal structure.
“You are lucky that I know you well to know that you don’t want to kill me. Please tell me this isn’t where you take Jen on dates.”
He laughed as he got out of the car. He came back in, his hands on his seat as he leaned towards me, “No. Jen knows nothing about this secret spot of mine. And you’d better not tell her. It would be a friendship-breaker.”
I raised one brow, he was being weirder than usual. “Alright. I don’t think you have to worry about that. I’d have to actually talk to her first.”
He leaned over more and kissed my forehead quickly before grabbing the bag. I wiped his kiss off my head and then got out of the car too. I took a step back so that I could look all the way to the top of the tower. This could be fun.
Luckily it wasn’t too windy and the cold chill of fall had yet to settle. It was a warm night, perfect for being up high where the bugs would leave you alone. “So you’ve been here before?”
“Yep. And it’s completely safe, unless you jump off. I can’t guarantee that you’ll live if you do that.”
“Sounds reasonable.”
He chuckled and led the way up the metal ladder. He was a little slow because of the booze he was holding. When we got to the top I took a few minutes to walk around and check it out. I got down onto my belly and pulled myself to the edge to have a look all the way down. Just as my neck was clear of the edge I felt something clamp around my calf.
“Don’t jump!”
I screamed and kicked my legs. I heard Kent laughing behind me. He loved scaring me, the jerk. I rolled over and sat up. “That was not funny!” I yelled at him.
“Says you. You couldn’t see the look on your face.”
“And neither will you when I punch you in both your eyes.”
He chuckled as he sat down beside me and opened a brown glass bottle with the picture of a peach on it. “So violent today, Els. What happened to the little innocent grunge singer I used to hang out with?”